"Clarification needed"

I just wrote Yorick and email via Facebook. I need to get clarification on why we ended and how he feels about it all. I hope he replies and isn't offended by my asking. It's hard being in the dark when thinking about how he feels about it all. Here is my letter:

"I have been thinking about us lately and just want to ask you a few questions. I want to be able to understand it all better like why things turned out the way they did and it would help me a great deal if I can truly understand it all.

Did we break up because you needed to be single? Or did it have something to do with me? Was I a crappy girlfriend? Looking back on it all I can see that splitting up was the right decisions for me because you weren't the kind of boyfriend I need. I want someone who will be glad to spend their evenings with me and see how you used to see me. I always came second to your friends and your partying. I want to be someone's first priority but you couldn't give me that and that's okay. I suppose I have high expectations when it comes to relationships and what I want. What happened with us made me think about what I do and don't want so it's nice to see things clearly for once.

Did I actually mean something to you? You seem to be doing really well without me and I'm wondering if you miss me at all. For me it's like your ghost is still there where you used to be. Getting used to not having you there is hard but then other times it feels fine because I'm not in the same places I was with you, like our house. Having a different life means I'm not always struggling to push away memories of us in particular places and I'm trying to find other things to be happy about. Sometimes I think about what we would be life if we didn't live together when we were still us. We were a great couple when you were at Allison Street and whenever I think about us and try to picture how we were I always think of us on holiday [NZ, Vanuatu, or camping]. This makes me think that the next relationship I will be in will fail when we live together. I guess I'm asking what is me? Was I the reason you didn't come home a lot?

I'm sorry if it is bad of me to ask but we were together for a very long time and I don't know how you feel about us ending. I didn't always know how you felt about stuff as it seems you found it hard to talk to me but I would just like to know your view of our relationship so I can get all the facts and finally understand it all from your side. I just want to know if you care[d] and if I was easy to forget.

Thanks so much."

And that's it. I hope he can help me. I'll probably cry [as I did while writing that] when he replies with some harsh realities but I need to know so I can move on knowing that I meant something to him and [hopefully] that he has found it hard too. Only time will tell.