Horoscopes and love and plans

If you are looking for instant gratification in a relationship, Scorpio, forget it. It's rare that two people meet and are instantly in sync in every way. The best friendships and romances take time, and they are certainly worth the effort. If you haven't yet found the one you are looking for, it may be because you believe you are owed that immediate spark. Or, if you ware involved in a relationship that is progressing slowly, please don't rush it. If you can be patient and forgiving, you will find that it was worth the wait.

I always thought that when I'd meet the guy I was to eventually marry that I'd know instantly, like Sometimes Sweet, but maybe that is rare and maybe it's not how it'll work out for me. It hasn't been like that in the past with the relationships I've been in but that's because they weren't the one. I do believe that the names of the people we choose are similar to the one we will end up with. The three relationships I've been in have all had similar name lengths and a common letter and I think that might mean I'll end up with a similar named guy. That's just my theory. Jeremy, for example, went out with me, Anna, a girl called Ang, and is now with a girl called Hannah. Similar! I like the patterns I see in relationship matches.

I forgot to put love on my list of wants. I want to find love and settle down as well as study, travel and have my own house. Love is the key to my ultimate happiness and it's hard being single right now but it's for the best. I have to be strong and independent and make sure I'm ready for the next one, the right one. Holly and I have been messaging and she said it's just a bit of panic and that I don't have to go on the day I thought I would so I have time to decide what to do. She said I can always move to Melbourne if Sydney doesn't work out. I think Sydney will work out though. It's a better city in my eyes and making it there would be greater than doing the same in Melbourne. It wouldn't feel as great in Melbourne. I don't like the city and it would feel like I'm following everyone else. It's a standard thing moving to Melbourne, no offence to my lovely friends who are living there or going to live there. It's just not for me. I believe I could make it work in Sydney. It's just sad that I might not get into the Uni there. There's still time.

Lunch with Jeremy

I had lunch with Jeremy today. It was nice, not awkward at all, although sometimes we had some gaps in the conversations. Overall I enjoyed myself. It's weird because I don't like him how I used to when we were together 6-7 years ago but it's nice having him as a friend. It's also weird because our lives are so different now and coming back together for this lunch made me realise that we're both a lot different from the people we were when we went out. It'd be so crazy if we were a couple again just because of the differences. That would never happen though but it's interesting to think about.

After lunch with Jeremy I went shopping. I bought the "Merlotte's Bar and Grill" t-shirt from True Blood, some $5 books, another book in Big W, a DVD [Remember Me with Robert Pattinson] and a skin-coloured bra to go under white tops. It felt good shopping again. I've been doing most of my shopping online of late so it was nice to go out there and get stuff. I also received some things in the mail. A DVD [I'm Reed Fish] and some things for my covered buttons. It's been a day for shopping! I'm waiting for a few more things in the mail too. 2 t-shirts from Threadless and another DVD [The Good Guy].

Breakthrough

In early January I found out that my College boyfriend of a year was moving to Melbourne so I wrote him an email through Facebook about it. We had recently caught up at a party [The Vegas Party] and had a long chat. It was nice. I was drunk so I don't remember all of it unfortunatly but we had a nice chat. So I asked him about moving to Melbourne and he didn't write back for ages and when he did he said he realised he didn't reply. I told him about Yorick and all of my plans and he was really nice about it. The last part was the best. He said:

"I'm glad you're keen for a hot choc. You had every right to be bitter. I treated you completely unfairly and I can't apologise enough. I still feel guilty about the whole thing every time I see you. Things have been a bit weird between us for a while and we haven't really talked. I should have broken the silence earlier"

Reading that made me so happy. We had a bad break-up and he flaunted other girls in my face. I think that was his attempt to try and help me get over it. It didn't help but boys can be pretty stupid, as I have re-learned with Yorick. I didn't know how Jeremy felt and it's nice to know he felt bad about it. I'm not the only one. I know it'll be weird when we catch up, still awkward, but it'll be good for us. It's been 6 years since we were together and I was bitter for so long and I'm glad I've let that go. Hopefully we can make a friendship now.

It's nice that I have this new friendship with Jeremy to keep me distracted. It's nice remembering that I'm over him and that things can be normal again. With Yorick, we are saying we're friends but we're not the kind of friends I want to be. I want it to be the same between us before we broke up, because that's what we were acting like, but he's making it hard. It'll smooth out I'm sure.

I really want to start making earrings. I want to feel like I'm starting something new for myself, not waiting for that day to come. I need to order the parts and get started. I have all of these wonderful plans but I want to put them into action.