My mind is all over the place

So, Marie took the room. I have set up appointments to view houses and saw two on Sunday but they weren't any good. I'm looking for a great room, a great location, AND a great set of house mates. It has to be the trifecter. I got that word off Bones. It isn't recognised on here as a word though. Ahh well. Saturday was another Roller Derby match and this time it was awesome! So much faster and entertaining. Usually I'm not good with meeting someone's friends but Jess' were nice and we had some good chats. I usually feel like I should have stayed home because I'm not so good around people socially. Sigh. That's just me. Monday we started the new unit Heritage Interpretation and I am loving it! The people have changed in the class but some of them are the same. At least Dana and Vicky are still with me. We went on a field trip on Tuesday to the Botanical Gardens for an official Aboriginal welcome, to ACCA for a tour of the exhibition and to the Shrine of Remembrance. It was so beautiful there and I loved the Gardens. I will be back soon. Today I need to finish my first assignment. I have most of it done but I might change a few things, plus it's 100 words to much but that might be alright. My mind is all over the place. I hate not having constant access to the internet at home where I can update regularly. Oh, Sunday was a wonderful day. I was smiling down the street. I met George's cousin Cate at 1030 at Babka in Brunswick St and we had a bit of a snack and a drink. She is so lovely. We went for a wander around the street and went into some shops and in one of them I bought 3 amazing skirts! I am so stoked. Two tartan and one like a very long netball skirt with the pleats. We went to some other shops and I found some cute birds like the ones dad started making out of balsa wood so I might get him some of those for his birthday for some inspiration. Then on my way back over to Nicholson St where I catch the tram to Kirsten's I stumbled upon the Rose St Market! It was so lovely. I bought some cards with cute prints on them. Yesterday wasn't so great. I filled a dam with my tears. I just wanted to go home to a place where I have succeeded. I still don't have a house here and it's bothering me. I have an appointment for tonight, one for Monday, and hopefully another in the works. I just want a room to settle into. I want to feel like I can send my belongings instead of feeling like it isn't my place too. Sigh. It'll all work out in time. I need to go on a job hunt. I will do that soon. Today I'll have a look at my resume and make a few according to which job I'm after. Bookshop jobs would be the best. I'll try and write cover letters too. I also have to study more. Eek! I'm glad there's no pressure to read the unit readers but they have valuable information in them so it's worth it if we do. I'll do what I can.

Thinking of home but knowing I'm right where I belong

Today I have been thinking about home a lot. I miss it, as I've said before, but when it comes down to it, I do love being here and doing this for myself after being freed from my 4+ year relationship, and I wouldn't rather being back home. I am here for a purpose, and I will get home from time to time but I belong here. I'm not sure how long I can stay away from home, as in over 1 year, but I'll need to get work, hopefully in the museum/heritage industry, and I believe that will mean staying here or going elsewhere, just not back to Hobart. I need to spread my wings and that's exactly what I'm doing. I just wish I had a partner to help me and be by my side while I do this. It would make everything more fun and easier. Oh how I wish I will find my perfect match here in Melbourne. The chances are greater at any rate.

So basically, I miss home a little but I'm not feeling extremely upset because I know I'm meant to be here and I've been waiting for this for 8 months. It's finally here and it feels right. It's just weird thinking about Hobart far, far away, as a place I know so well but am not in. I'm not explaining this very well but it both feels right and weird to be here and not home. I wouldn't go back to stay in Hobart, not for a few years anyway, but a visit will be nice. I might head back between May and June for dad and mums birthdays. Got to get settled here, get a job, then work for a while before taking off for how many ever days to a week. It wouldn't leave a good impression to my new boss[es]. I will have to look into bookstores. I don't want to work in hospitality but have the skills so it would be super easy to get a job. Depends where I'm living too. Work close to home is best. Time will tell. I want people to write back to me about these places! Better check my email.

I had a long chat to Sarah this evening. It was nice just talking to her although I wished I could have been in her new room with her. Another time. I'm staying here for a few months at least before I make a trip. Sad. Today is Megan and Joe's wedding day! They are now officially Mr. and Mrs. Pasanen. How lovely. I'm sad I didn't get to see it but photos will be fine.

Another good week ahead I believe! Monday is full Uni lectures, then Tuesday is full museum visits. I sure am looking forward to it all. Hopefully we'll discuss the assignments. As long as I get them sorted, the readings can come second. I just need more information from the lecturer, that's all. Right. More study and some TV I think, maybe Easy A again for a bit of a laugh.

Oh, not tomorrow but next Monday, Kirsten and I are going to see the last Girl With a Dragon Tattoo movie! I'm so excited. Mum, dad and I saw the first one together after some dinner at La Porchetta, then mum and I went and saw the second one. I'm sad I won't be doing this with mum but we'll do something similar another time, perhaps when she and dad visit. That will be nice. I can't wait to have my own room!!! EEEEE!

Day 2 and horoscopes

Oh my gosh I am broken. I have a headache and feel weird. It must be the heat and all the learning. Today at Uni we had a lecture in the morning then went to the Schwerkolt Cottage and Historical Museum. It was quite amazing. I got a lift from a lady there and back to Kirsten's and I am so glad to be back. I'm frustrated about not having my own place though. I don't want to outstay my welcome here.

A nice, inspiring and through-provoking horoscope for me today --

If you are looking for security, Scorpio, you will have to find it in yourself -- not in exterior forces like money, prestige, power, or other people. All of those can come and go. There are no guarantees. The only way to gain confidence and self esteem is to build it internally. That begins with faith -- faith in yourself, faith in your abilities, faith in those who love you, and faith in the universe. Now more than ever you need to trust that the cosmos knows what you need, and will provide it. When you can reach a sense of balance in that regard, you will gain a sense of security that no one can shatter.

My horoscope from Saturday the 5th --

If you have been feeling stressed and pressured recently by money or security-related issues, you will soon be able to breathe a sign of relief. New opportunities to increase your income and add greater stability to your financial outlook will occur just when you need them most. In the meantime, don't give up hope, and don't do anything that may cause your situation to become worse -- such as borrowing money or making a financial commitment of any kind. Over the next few months, your situation could improve to the point that you will wonder why you were ever so worried about it in the first place.

I truly hope this is true, that things improve. I do feel stressed and pressured but next Monday I will receive my Centrelink payment and that gives me comfort. The money side is a bit stressful but my main concern is finding a place to live. I want to live by myself, and as the horoscope above points to, I have to have faith in myself in that even though I will feel lonely sometimes, I am doing the best thing for myself at this time and I have friends around and can call my family whenever I want or need to. It's also about getting myself and my life organised. I want to get into the routine of great habits and I believe that living in a share house will restrict this. I can only rely on myself and by living alone I will have to be self-sufficient, which will help me grow in many ways. I just hope something turns up soon. Kirsten's laptop isn't loading the real estate page properly so I'm having a hard time.

For right now, I might get something to eat and have a rest while watching a movie, maybe Easy A. I watched Marie Antoinette a few times and I really like it. I need to send it to mum as it was her idea for me to buy it for her. It was my idea to watch it first. I love those period dramas. I belong in one. Sigh. Hopefully I will feel better soon.

Weekend re-cap and my first day

Wow. I haven't written since Friday. A lot and not a lot has happened since then. I'll start with Friday night.

Friday night was the houses combined house-warming and for Kirsten's birthday as well as a celebration of the other housemates birthdays which were a month or two ago. Lots of people came and I had a bit of fun, but most of the time I just wanted to leave but I couldn't. I went out and socialised though and had some nice enough chats. I like Kirsten's friend Tina a lot. She's lovely. Towards the end I had a really nice drink with The Germans, as Kirsten calls them, Kat and Lena. Kat is with Stefan and Lena is their friend visiting. They made an awesome drink with muddled lime, 1 shot of vodka, 1 shot of lime cordial, and lots of crushed ice. I had two of those and didn't leave enough time to get sober before I went bed. I wasn't drunk, but feeling buzzed. I was hungover in the morning. Not fun. It sucked because I got into bed at probably 2 or 3 or something but couldn't sleep because I was worried someone would come into Kirsten's room with me in there and harass me. I put my heavy suitcase in front of the door but I was still a bit paranoid and completely aware of what was going on despite trying to nap. It didn't. So Saturday I was very tired.

On Saturday we cleaned the house. I was meant to go to a trial at Kamel but was feeling sick, and had been a bit sick, so I called up and canceled. I haven't heard anything from them since then. Hmm. I don't mind though because it will be better to get a job in the suburb I end up living in. It's easier that way. If I ever find a place to live that is. I want to live alone if possible. After the cleaning, Kirsten and I went to The Great Northern nearby for some chips and a coke/diet coke. The others joined us [Sandi, the other housemate, and her new bf Nick, Stefan and Lena] then Tom [Kirsten's bf] and two of his friends came along. We didn't stay too long. Home after that and a pretty early night. Kirsten stayed over at Tom's for the night so I got the comfy bed. I've been staying on the floor on lots of blankets and a thin camping blow up mattress, which is fine, but the bed is comfier. I have it again tonight too.

Sunday I slept in and it was bad because I found it hard to sleep last night. Once I got up and had some breakfast I went into the City. I wanted to find a backpack for Uni, and I did. I went to this Traveler and Souvenir shop and got a simple backpack for $20. Great! It does the trick. I also went to the National Gallery of Victoria. I didn't see all of it as it was an extremely hot day so I will go back another time and see the rest. I wanted to go to the Botanical Gardens but once again the heat zapped me of any energy so I went to the Victoria Gardens just across the road from the NGV. Then I went back to Kisten's. Later that night she went for a run with a friend and I came along and rode her old bike. It was nice and refreshing as the weather was still nice but the wind in my face as I rode was beautiful. I loved it. We went around this pretty big circuit twice not far from the house. Then I tried to get to sleep and failed.

Today I had my first day of Uni! I thought I was going to be late but the tram driver was awesome. They kept dinging the bell to make cars get out of the way. I still don't understand why on earth they should be allowed to drive over the tram tracks the same way the tram goes. It's ridiculous! It's totally insane and I think it should be dis-aloud. Anyway, I got to the classroom and the lecture hadn't started yet but almost everyone was there. I sat in the back. The lecturer introduced herself and we all did the same. The other students have amazing backgrounds and at least two did a Bachelor of Archaeology at LaTrobe. I'm so jealous. Maybe there's a postgraduate course in archaeology I can do. I'd love that. Then we got into the lecture. Well we read through the unit outline then got into the lecture. We have 3 assignments, one of which I have done part of a draft for tonight, and I'm worried about the last two. The first one should be easy enough to knock off, but it's the others I'll struggle with I believe. I'll get some help. This unit isn't all in the classroom though, which is exciting. We went to the Deakin Art Gallery in the afternoon and will be doing similar excursions on almost each other day we're there. We have 6 days and on 5 of them we'll be out in the field. Pretty exciting. We had a look in the small Deakin gallery then went outside and saw the many sculptures around the campus. Yet another hot day so I struggled. I went on the computers for a bit after the 'lecture' ended then went home. Got off the tram and caught the train but I'm not sure it was much of a time-saver, although the tram was going extremely slow. Kirsten made a too-spicy-for-me curry and I did some homework!

Tomorrow should be good. I need to get up and leave earlier to be able to get myself something to eat for lunch. There wasn't much available at Uni and I'll have to go to the cafe early to secure an apple and cinnamon muffin. Today I got a blueberry one and it was nice but not the same. I want to buy a salad or something so I'll have to go in a lot earlier than I did today. That can be done. I didn't like the stress. I can't remember where we're going tomorrow afternoon but it should be good. Then I'll have Thai Culinary for dinner. Mmm.

There are a few more houses I need to have a look at online. There is a bit of a crappy looking one in Richmond. The ad says it's good for older people or something but I may as well take a look. You can grab the keys from the real estate and go to town. There is one in Elwood that looks nice but Kirsten says that's ages away. I remember going to St Kilda with Amy in 2005 and loved the area but I seem to recall that Elwood wasn't that far away from there and the tram ride didn't seem to take all that long. I guess we'll see. Sarah knows a guy [Nick Cupit] who is moving to Melbourne soon and looking for someone to live with. He went to our high school and apparently knows me as I have served him at thebeach, not that I remember, but Sarah and I talked on the phone about it and us living together. I'd rather my own place, at least I think so, but I might get lonely. Then again I might feel resentment living with others, regretful. There's no need to be scared. I'll be busy enough and can go and see my friends when I feel sad. I don't want to impose on Kirsten and her flatmates for too much longer. It's been a week already! Crazy. Hopefully I get the Hawthorn house for $150 a week in Mary St but I've started looking at what's closer to $200 but still under. The Elwood one is $165 I think. Hmm. I'll see what happens.

Museum Studies

I just rang the Uni bookshop and my book is on the way. I'll get an email about it once it's in and ready for me to pick up. It's not of high priority because apparently there are only 20 enrolled in the course! That's insane! I can't believe how few people there are in total, but it'll make it awesome and give us more time to get to know one another and the lecturers. I think it's going to be great! I really can't wait to start. Monday can't come soon enough. It has been 6 months in the making so there's that...

Moved to Melbourne update

Success! I have finally gotten onto the internet here in the YHA Melbourne Central back packer's and there is no one else around to spy on what I'm writing. That's the worse. I'm in a small lounge room with two computers and a couch facing the TV and it's not private at all. I wanted to write in here but I hate the fact that people can be watching me doing this, which I am slightly embarrassed about when other people are watching, so I am really glad I'm alone!

So, it's Saturday and I arrived in Melbourne on Thursday. Holly and I were on the same flight, me in the middle and she was up the back, but we caught the Sky Bus together, had chats, then went to the back packers and dropped my bags off. They weren't ready with my room quite yet so I went back that afternoon and checked in properly. The place is great! It's the best one I've been in. The rooms are nice and have personal bed side lamps attached to the walls. The bathrooms are amazing, although there are only 3 showers on the floor, one of which isn't working as it has no tap handle. There is a toiled right next to my room though so it's very convenient. I met a lovely Canadian lass who is leaving today. She's heading back to New Zealand to study until June/July then back to Canada. We were going to hang out today but she had to check out and I suppose she had to give her key back so she might not be able to get back up to our floor. Might not see her. The other two in the room, one of which left last night I think, are weird and annoying. The traffic is pretty loud, which is a bit hard to deal with, so I didn't get much sleep on Thursday night. I caught up last night though. Very pleased about that.

So, Holly and I hung out for a few hours, did some window shopping, had a tea [Holly] and a milkshake [me] then went to where her job interview was. It was next to the ANZ Bank Museum so we had a quick look in there before she went in. After that Amy called me and we met up 15 minutes later at Riverland, a cute place next to / under the bridge next to Federation Square alongside the Yarra River and I met her boyfriend Cal. We had a pint of Bulmers each and had some lovely chats. I'm going to a hula hoop class with Amy sometime! I can't wait for that. Then they both went to work and I went to the back packers to check in. After that I went to my room, then got some dinner at Thai Culinary. I had a lovely Pad See Ew noodle dish, similar to what I have at Cool Thai, but not the same unfortunately. I doubt I'll find something as good as I have at Cool Thai. Sad. I got invited to the Thursday night free pub crawl by one of the roommates and I went for a little bit but I'm not a drinking fan so I left and watched some of a DVD. I met the Canadian roommate and we had some nice chats.

Friday was a sleep in day. I got some breakfast in the city, then went to Big W and got some shampoo as I had forgotten that I deliberately didn't bring my bottle as it was almost empty and that means when I go back to Hobart to visit I won't need to take any with me. After that I came back here and had a nap, then got up for my appointment to see Kate, a friend of George and Katie's who works at the Police Museum. We had a coffee/hot chocolate and a crumble lemon yoyo and talked about Uni and volunteering and houses. She's so nice and said if I ever need help seeing places that she can drive me and not to worry about asking her. There's nothing to go and see though so that's a shame. Then her colleague Monica came down and we had a nice chat. She's also doing the Diploma of Museum Studies via Deakin but is finishing it off this year and she does one day of volunteering at the Police Museum and one day, Thursdays, at Mission to Seafarers. She took me on a tour of the Mission and I'll be doing some volunteering there with her next Thursday! It's such an amazing place. It has a beautiful chapel and is still used for seamen/seafarers to relax and have a drink, play some pool, and use the internet. There are also functions done there [they were setting up for a wedding whilst I was visiting] and is an amazing apartment for a Chaplain to stay in as well as one for the caretaker[s]. I met Cally[?] and I'll be doing some hospitality functions work with her, paid work. I'm not sure how much work and how often but it's a start. She asked off hand if I had my RSA and I said yes and she asked if I'd be interested in work and I said yes and that was that! They said I was sent from Heaven or something like that. The previous volunteer had to leave or something so the timing is perfect. It's such a cute place and I'll get to do similar work to what I did at the Maritime in Hobart. Some of the main museums here get you started out the front, then you work your way out towards the back and the kind of work I'm interested in. Apparently the Mission will be useful for class assignments, Monica told me. I can't wait! That night I went back to Thai Culinary then watched another movie and chatted with the Canadian girl. Not sure we actually introduced ourselves. Haha.

Today I got up fairly early feeling pretty refreshed, although last night the girl who moved out was so annoying. She may have moved into another room but she was doing this at 11pm back and fourth out the door which has a loud slam and she kept her bed side lamp on and it was shining in my face and lighting up the whole room. How rude. She came back an hour or so later and turned it off. She did it again in the morning. Poo poo. Glad she's gone. So this morning I had a nice shower with my new shampoo, which didn't smell as it usually does [contemplated taking it back]. I read some catalogues that the Canadian girl left for us to check out letting visitors know what's on and where it's happening. Then I went to get The Age newspaper to look for jobs and houses but nothing took my fancy. First I need a place, then I will look for a job near by. I don't want to do hospitality but I'd rather go in and see the place before applying, and know how to get there and whatnot. So that's step two. Now I'm here and not sure what to do. I think I'm seeing Jess this afternoon but I'd like to go to some gardens and other museums at some stage. Tomorrow I'll go to the Campberwell markets with Amy and Cal then on Monday it's out to Deakin! I can't wait to get there and check it all out. I might only be going on Monday and Tuesday depending on the activities on the other days. I need to get my ID card and go on a tour, or take myself on a tour. There are some library tours available so that'll be fun. I can't wait!

I actually love being here. I love that there is so much to do, that I'm in a fantastic city, that I have many friends here that want to hang out with me, that there are trams, the weather, and so many other little things. I am surprised at how much I like it. It's nice that I do. Now I just have to find a house! Eek.

Hangs with Holly and Monika and packing and moving!

I met up with Holly today and we had a cup of tea at Fullers book shop in the Afterword Cafe. It was really nice catching up. Adult. As it turns out she'll be flying to Melbourne on the same day and same flight I am for a job interview! So we'll meet there and catch the Sky Bus in and get some food. We talked about my plans for the first few days there and she helped me set a goal to get a house/place first then let everything else happen, like sorting out some volunteer positions and a job. I hope I can find somewhere great within the first week so I don't have to stay at the Backpacker's too long. Please!

After meeting Holly I went next door to visit my old friend Monika. We sat outside and had a cup of tea overlooking Mt Wellington. It's such a great view and you can see so much more from there than our place, which is 100m away maybe, because our block has so many trees. It's still a lovely place though and I do dearly love it. It's just nice seeing a different view. I am so excited about moving to Melbourne and getting on with my life. It all changes permanently on Thursday! Yay! I can't wait to get a place and be settled. That in between period scares me a bit but hopefully it won't last too long. I can't wait to start class! Eep.

Tonight we're down at the Longs for dinner. Daddy's just having a shower and we'll head off. Tomorrow at 11 Sarah and I are going to visit Nan and Pa, then we'll grab some lunch then come home and I'll do more packing. Maybe she can help me with that. Then it's dinner with James, George and Etta. I can't wait to see Etta's first tooth. What a milestone! Eeeep again. I can't wait to get my stuff sorted. I always leave this stuff until the last minute, like assignments, but I just have to get it done. I'm more productive then I believe. I just don't know what to do with all the other stuff I won't take with me. Clean/tidy it up? I don't know. I'll be back every so often and can sort stuff out then. I'll probably take more things with me. Who knows until I get there and settled. I've packed boxes of things I'll definitely want like towels/tea-towels, Uni books, kitchen stuff, clothes and DVDs/books, so they can be sent over once I'm settled but everything else? No idea. I'll just do what I can.

Right! Off to dinner now. Yum, I'm rather hungry.

I hate the heat!

I had a coffee/hot chocolate with my old high school and primary school friend Angie today! It was really nice catching up with her. So much is happening and it seems like she's about to become an adult with her first real job after just finishing Uni doing engineering. Even her brother has an awesome job as a commercial pilot. And here I am, about to commence more studies, and I don't have a career yet. I wish I did but I'll be glad to have a relatively cruisy/cruisey year. I can't wait to be able to look for a 'real' job in cultural heritage or museums. That will be the icing on top of the cake.

I can't escape the heat! It's gotten hot here and it's really annoying me. I'm sick of the heat. I should go from one side of the world to the other eliminating summer. I think that would be great and it would suit me just fine! I'll have to do that one year. Gosh I hate the heat.

I have decided that next week I'll spend my time writing my essay and the following week I'll start studying the books Deakin has sent me. That is my plan. It's so nice not to have to work. Working for my dad doesn't seem like work but it'll nice to have a little income to top up what I've spent and will spend because I can't not spend anything. I might go a bit mad staying at home all the time but I'll just have to do it. Not to watch the last episode of Avatar: The Last Airbender. I am excited to see how it ends but I don't want it to end! Sad. Then it's off to my uncle and his partner's house for dinner. I might wear one of my new Sydney maxi dresses.

What I want

My own house

I want to get into great habits and decorate my space just how I want it. I don't want to be forced to make small-talk with people or share things. I want it to be all mine.

To study to be a curator

I was hoping to do this at the University of Sydney but that might not happen. Pretty much every other University requires students to have an honours degree, something which I doubt I'll ever be good enough to get, but with a lot of help it might be attainable. Then I'd have to stay in Hobart for another year, which is something I don't want to do.

Move away from Hobart

I don't want to stay here anymore. I've been planning to get out along with going to the University of Sydney for months now and staying here would be such a step backwards. I don't really like Melbourne so that was the choice behind that. Everyone goes to Melbourne. I want to do my own thing. However, if I went to Melbourne I could hang with Holly and Amy and Carly and Kirsten. I might be unhappy there though, despite being around friends. I might regret the choice. Going to Sydney, however, would feel like my own adventure, my choice. I don't know many people there but it doesn't feel like a mistake, unlike moving to Melbourne would.

Live and work in the UK for at least a year

I want to do this but I want to get underway with studying towards a career in museums. It was probably stupid to think I'd ever get into the University of Sydney but I've put everything into it regarding planning. Maybe it'll have to be Melbourne. At least then I wouldn't be as lonely. I don't like it there though... Maybe I should just go to Sydney instead anyway. I can work full-time and study at Deakin over the internet. That was the backup plan anyway. Or I could just fly away to the UK and get into a ground-level museum position. If that'd work. I'd also love to go on some archaeological digs.

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I don't know what to do here. Maybe go to Sydney anyway, find a house, get a full-time job, study at Deakin via distance. The Melbourne course is crap though. I don't think it's as good as the Sydney one. Or I could live in Melbourne surrounded by friends. I don't know if I've been rejected by Sydney! I will call them up tomorrow and find out when they'd tell you if you weren't getting in. Then I can make some plans. Crappidy oh. Maybe I should just go to Sydney anyway. It'll be my fresh start and I'll make it a fantastic experience. I just wanted to go to the Uni there because it's beautiful. I will still study, just online. It might work better. I'll call and see what they say about rejections and go from there.

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Travel

I want to do lots of travelling. I want to go to Asia first, to Thailand, Vietnam, Cambodia, Laos, Nepal, Tibet, China, Japan. That's a lot of places and I probably wouldn't get to all of them. There are definitely some I've left out but I think this will have to wait, especially if I'm moving. I want to aim for something like this for the end of the year. A few months would be great. Hopefully I meet my man and we go together. I think it has to be Sydney. For now I'm tired so I think that's me for tonight. Hopefully tomorrow will bring better news.