Backwards meeting.

I went to town today to get my x-ray for my dentist but didn't have it done as I wasn't aware I needed the referral form [which was in my wallet and I didn't realise] so I went down into Salamanca for some gelato instead. I paused for a moment to eat on a corner and looked over towards Zum [where Yorick works] to see if he was there. I had seen his car on the way through parked up on the main road and wasn't sure if I wanted to go in and say hi or not. I went back up to my car when I got a message from him saying "Did I just see you in Salamanca?" and I said yes and asked if he was still around. He said yes, that he was sitting outside Zum and to come by and say hi. So I went back down and there he was. He was sitting at a table outside with 3 other people and we had a chat for a few minutes. He wasn't smiling at all, just looked tired or wasted or seedy. He is in desperate need of a haircut and it was just a weird conversation. It wasn't very smooth. Holly said "fancy making you go see him with others there" and too right I say. He didn't make the effort to come to me. I had to go to him. It was weird standing there talking to him with others listening. He's been reading my Facebook posts so he knows what I'm up to. I hope he feels crappy about his life because mine is so awesome, or at least will be by next year, unless I get the Coles Bay job and it'll start being awesome in a few weeks. He brought up that we should do lunch again. Mum and I talked about that when we got home that maybe it's an invitation that can just hang in the air. I'm not sure I want to do it. I like that the last few months I haven't seen him. I want to know what he's up to but not from him. I'm happy to just leave it in the past and fondly remember the great times we had. I doubt either of us will follow it up. It's nice having it there though. The funny thing is, I locked my keys in the car on the way back down from my car to see him. Bad omen. Holly said he's a bad luck charm. It does feel a bit lame that I went back down there to say hi to him when he was with other people. He wasn't making an effort. He didn't even get up or anything, just sat there slouched in his chair. Then towards the end he started talking to his friend and after they stopped talking I said that I was off and said by and didn't really look at him. It was very rude. There's not much point in going backwards by hanging out together. It would only be out of wanting to hold onto the old memories of who we were together. It's not about moving forward as what we had and have is in the past. We're not moving forward as friends so it's probably best not to dwell in it too much. I love my freedom. I do miss the companionship but I'm happy alone right now as I know I'll have the right relationship for me in a year or two. I need to be independent for the time being and learn about myself. I don't want to give myself away in the next relationship. It's a big lesson to learn and keep learning for me.

In other news, tomorrow night I'm going to visit Holly at the Barn Market at about 7pm and then I'll go and have Cool Thai for dinner before going to my sister's then to the Alley Cat [Yorick's second home in my opinion] to see SNERT play. I can't wait to have Cool Thai for dinner. I must have it. I was meant to be having it tonight with Emma but she's sick. I wanted Cosmopolitans with her! Arr. Next week maybe, if I'm not working. I am so excited about Sydney.

I want to forget about Yorick. I don't like the way it went today. It is better left alone. There is no point in hanging out as it will never be the same and it won't be about moving forward. We can't really be friends, just polite to each other. That is all it'll be. I have to try and put today out of my mind. Arrr.