Today was a nice and full day. First I had lunch with Sophie at my work and we did a lot of talking about Yorick. She mentioned again how he's been missing me this week, probably because the novelty of his new life has worn off and that's all he has. Apparently he's loving his new living arrangements and doesn't go out drinking as much. He likes to stay up till 4am drinking with his house mates, something he knows I wouldn't enjoy. He knows what I know -- that we're not in the right place to be together and somehow I don't think we ever will be. We both want different things from a partner and that's okay. Sophie mentioned how he's been late to work a lot and on Saturday morning last week he had to have a few lines of E to get himself up and about. That's madness. I'm worried about that boy but as Holly mentioned and my mum and Sophie agree with, he's not my problem anymore and I should just let it go. I'm trying but I feel for him. I just want him to be healthy. I hope he quits. Sophie said he really wants to quit and I know he has it in him. He's quit before but has just let it creep back in until it's too late to stop it. I hope he finds purpose and meaning for his life. We're going for lunch on Thursday and it'll actually happen this week.
I wrote to him: "Hey you. Want to get together for lunch this week? Maybe Thursday? Or Wednesday even. Shame we missed each other at Cool Thai. Would have been funny to bump into each other there. Anyway I hope you're doing well xx"
He replied almost straight away, which was very nice of him: "Hey Thursday sounds great, I have the day off. Any ideas where to go? We could maybe hang out afterwards and do something too."
I'm really glad he wants to spend some quality time together but it seems a little weird that he wrote that. I replied mentioning Bar Celona and that maybe we could go for a walk afterwards or something and that we can confirm times on Wednesday. He didn't write back after that. I hate how he never has the last word. He does it a lot and it annoys me. He probably thinks the conversation doesn't need to be replied to as it would be a waste. I'll have to try and finalise my messages so, like my sister, it makes me feel better. We shall see. I really like that he's been missing me. I miss his company and that form of intimacy. I want to hug him and hang with him at home like we used to. That won't happen though. We're just no meant to be. He's totally messed up, which makes me sad, and what he wants to be doing is what he is, and that is drinking and being sociable. I'm not as into that as he is, and it's few and far between those events for me. We're not suited well. I keep thinking that once he's sorted himself out in a few years he might want me back but I'll [fingers crossed] have found someone that's better suited for me and wonder what to do. It probably won't happen and I'm flattering myself here a lot but I need to erase those thoughts and not plan on any such thing and life my life the way I want to. I won't wait for him ever again, I learned that lesson, and will endeavor to stop that from happening in future relationships. I want the next guy I'm with to be a contender for being the one to marry. I just hope he's out there, preferably in the UK, as sometimes I believe I belong there more so than here in Australia. We shall see. I miss him but then again I have lots going for me in my life where he doesn't so he's probably thinking he made a mistake in some ways but not others as we're not right for each other right now. We had a blast together when we were good but grew apart into a place where we're not compatible. If we were good again I might consider getting back with him but I doubt we'll ever get back to such a place. It's probably not our destiny. Ahh dear.
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