Who made up the rules?

Yorick and I are going to have lunch together tomorrow. My sister saw him at her work [the Casino] for a quiz night and she said that he seemed weird, like we all hate him or something. I want to tell him that's not the case. I want to tell him that I miss the life we had together. I hate how things are seen as either appropriate or inappropriate when discussing such things with ex partners. Who made these rules anyway? I want to say something to him but it's like we're not allowed to talk about how we feel but it's open for discussion when we're talking to friends separately. It's available for public discussion but not one-to-one with the persons involved. I've only seen him 3 times since we split up. It was really nice that he asked me to do something more than just have a meal. Maybe we can go for a walk around the docks. It was hard finding things to do with him in the end. I didn't feel that connection. I felt we had to make an effort and it was true. I like the fantasy that we'll end up together but I don't think he's right for me. He doesn't have the best genes to pass on and is a little too social for me [something I don't think will ever quieten down even if we had a family] so I don't see it working again. It would never be as great as we were in the beginning and that's what I miss. Watching Eclipse for the third time tonight made me really want to have another first kiss. I miss that, the anticipation and nervousness, and feeling so wonderful and new. I can't wait for that to happen. I don't want to be slutty and go around kissing just anyone just for a kiss. I want to find my future husband and make a solid base with him. I hope I find him somewhere on my UK and beyond travels.

I want to start eating less junk, aka biscuits, and try to eat more fruit. I do well with breakfast [homemade yogurt with a banana and a kiwi when it's ripe] and lunch [a healthy toasted sandwich] and dinner [something healthy provided by my parents] but it's the snacks that I do bad on. I eat too many biscuits at different stages of the day. I need cut that out and eat a piece of fruit instead, an apple or orange. I should get grapes and cantelope and have them on hand for times I'm convinced I'm hungry. I'm walking for about an hour 4 times a week and am trying to get to the gym as well for a few classes. Once I'm on holiday I'll drink more water, eat less, and be active thus sleeping better. My skin will improve and so will my life in all aspects. I can't wait to be on holiday. I also can't wait till my savings are getting higher and higher, which isn't happening now as I don't have a high income. I hope I get a job soon, either this office junior position or the bank job. I'll talk to Holly about it tomorrow when we're out shopping for buttons supplies after my lunch with Yorick. We'll probably also look at hair dyes for me. We talked about going lighter as I liked it the one time I did it but this morning when drying my hair I reconsidered. Maybe I should do darker again. I like my hair darker. I don't want to regret dying it lighter as well as cutting it shorter. Darker it is.

I want to buy some UK walks books. There's one for Britain, including Scotland and Wales, and one for Ireland. I like going to bookstores and looking at them first so I might do that at some stage tomorrow before buying them off the Book Depository for cheaper. That site has the best deals ever. I only learned about it when it was too late for my first Uni degree but later is better than never. I'll be so fit over there and the walks will be amazing as well as providing me with exercise.

The covered buttons are going well. I've been making more but will need to get more of the buttons to turn into covered buttons in a little while. I also need more fabric, brighter this time, and have to work on the design. I'll try to do it myself with the help of pictures I find on the internet and see if it's okay to use. Once I have the design I'll be able to place some earrings in it and see the finished products. I'll have to make a few sizes of the earring cards with the design on it, one for 3 pairs, one for 2 pairs and one for 1 pair. I'm so excited to be learning all about marketing from Holly. She knows so much and has been a great help already. I'm loving this journey.