Presents, jobs, and Jantz

Mothers Day.
Send mum the Marie Antoinette DVD and a card. Possibly another movie.

Dads' birthday.
Buy him some of the balsa wood bird broaches from Harem Fashion on Brunswick Street.

Mums' birthday.
I'm sure I'll find some lovely things on Brunswick Street.

James' birthday.
I saw this cute magnifine necklace in an op shop on Brunswick Street so I might get that for my brother. Something random for someone random :D He's turning 26 this year. I can't believe it! It seems oldish but then again he has a wife and daughter and that makes his seem young, which he is. I'm only 24 so for me to be 26 seems much older, which it is. Hmm.

I need to start using my to-do list pad that I bought. I really need to write Andi a letter, get my Working With Children certificate sorted [all I need to do is go and get the photo taken but I keep forgetting or putting it off], and get some of these presents sorted, James' especially as his birthday is on the 22nd and I'll need to send it in advanced. I need to get his new house address so I can send it there. Maybe I'll ask mum and dad so it can be a surprise.

Last night I saw Sucker Punch at the movies and it was fantastic! I want to get more out of life because of it and do everything I want to do in life, all the classed [dance, self-defence/combat/weapon fighting, photography, archaeology!!], the travelling, family, kids, living in the UK and NZ. So much to do.

On another note, I wrote this in a Twitter post not too long ago --

Had another YHF dream last night. I don't hate him, it's just I'd rather not think of him. We were together for 4+ years so I suppose it's expected. I did love him after all. It's not easy to remove a part of yourself and I'm not sure why you would want to. It was important but it didn't work out. He's still a nice guy underneath it all. I think we can be friends again. In a way we still are. Maybe I should text him. Maybe not. It's weird. Now I'm a bit sad. Life so different. I thought I was set. I'm glad I get to do what I really want to in life despite it all and there's plenty of that. More time needs to pass and I need to sort out my life before we revisit our friendship. One day it would be nice to really be friends but I'm not sure it's possible. I'm not good at that sort of thing. I'll always feel uneasy around him. It's just a fact. I've never had a male friend as I was always too shy and it has left me undeveloped in that area. When I'm in a relationship it's completely different and I'm at ease. Maybe we can be like that one day. Fingers crossed.

It's nice being so far away from him and not being able to access his Facebook account through my sister's. I asked her to delete him from hers as I did that a while ago, but I liked being able to see what he was up to. I don't actually like what he's up to, the partying, the sexual content of his posts, the tranny party photos. It's stupid and he should just grow up. He's being such an idiot and I think everyone agrees with me. Whatever. That's why I love using Twitter now for my status updates at least. Barely anyone reads them so it's more like blogging and I can saw what I want when I want and no one will know. Some people read it but it's nice that it's less read and only people who want to read it will. I like that he's not in my life anymore. I like that I'm here in Melbourne. It's better this way.

I'm booked in for the Greenhouse backpackers for Sunday for at least a week. Tomorrow I must call Centrelink and let them know where I'll be moving to and what amount of 'rent' I'll be paying so I can get the rent assistance. I almost forgot so I'll have to set a reminder on my phone. I'm so exited to get my independence back. It's going to be lovely, but also not lovely in a different way. I am too comfortable here at Kirsten's and I've been here too long. Must go shopping on Saturday afternoon for their presents.

That reminds me! I have a job trial at The Mess Hall on Saturday at 10am! I'm psyched. I hope it goes great and I get a job out of it. It'd be a lifesaver. Then I can buy myself a new laptop!! Officeworks have some great priced ones. I just need to look up RAM and CPU stuff so I know what I'm looking for as sometimes they are too small or something. It's like MG and GB. I am useless with those terms. I have no idea how much they mean. Ahh. Although I'm getting better with those I must say.

After working at the Mission today doing more cataloging, us girls went for a drink at Bertha Browns next to the YHA. We shared a bottle of Jantz and I'm still a little tipsy! It's lovely. I like the bubbly happiness. For me it's the best drunk/tipsy there is. I'm such a fan. I hate sickly/spinning drinks like vodka. I like happiness thanks! Daquiri! Yum. So now I'm back at Kirsten's and I might watch another movie. I watched Igor last night. I bought it from JBHifi along with two others. I might watch another tonight. I'm not in a very study mode, although tomorrow I have to go out to Uni and study and return one of the books I borrowed! Must get the Children's check photo taken at a post office. Must also write Andi the letter! Must get James his present too. I hope I remember all of this. I'll refer to this post if I need to.

Home sweet home

Gosh I am ready to go home. I forget how it can be boring here especially when I can't just go to my room and watch DVDs, which is something I do need to to less of. I'm just ready to be back in Tasmania where I guess I belong. That doesn't mean I want to be there forever but it's comforting and that's what I need right now. Only one more day and I'll be home again.

Tomorrow at 2pm I'm meeting Joyce for afternoon tea. I think it will be lovely. I also need to stop by Typo and get supplies for Uni. There are these cute books in a series about Little Red Riding Hood and they are adorable. I want to get a lot more from there and with the two maxi dresses I bought from Jay Jay's of all places I might need to mail some things back to myself as my luggage is already at the limit. I won't be able to squash anymore in without paying more. Then mum and dad and Jan and Fra and I can have a lovely chat about my next move ... to Melbourne!

Going to Melbourne should be less stressful because I will have people to lean on there so I just have to remember that and relax. That's my problem. Here in Sydney I've been trying to do too much myself although I haven't really, but just thinking about all that I'd have to do isn't what I want. I hope that I can find a place to live easy and not have to stress out too much. It needs to be simplified. I just want to get my diploma and get a good job then move to the UK for a while and hopefully find my future husband! Please!

It's way too hot here. I'm not coping very well with it I must say. I am definitely looking forward to being home and reassessing. I'm glad I have good roommates too. We don't talk much but they aren't too loud and usually turn the lights off when I want them to be. Good stuff. I'm definitely ready for bed.

Melbourne it will be!

So here I am in Sydney. I'm at the backpackers, which isn't as good as the one I stayed in the last two times I came here, and I am very fully from dinner next door. I am sure it was a Thai place. It was delicious anyway and just what I needed despite filling me to the brim. Yesterday at the airport was tear central. Jan and Fra and I cried so much. I loved the hugs and them telling me they love me. Fra said she loves me and that I'm a good girl and brave. She said to Jan to tell me she loves me and Jan said I already know. It was so sweet. However, I'm heading back on Tuesday. It's not for me. I don't want to do it all alone so I'm going home then moving to Melbourne in a few weeks. Probably mid February. I have many friends there and that will make the difference. I have Amy, Carly, Kirsten and will have Holly and Ruben. I just don't want to do all of this by myself although I'll probably end up living alone in Melbourne it'll be different having friends to visit and to fall back on in times of need. I just think it's the better fit. I'm not feeling the love here. I'm alone and it'll take me a while to get settled and to make friends and I doubt I'll get into the Uni here. Anyway, I'd rather be around friends than in a pretty city. Life is short and it should be spent with the people you love.

So the thing is, yesterday morning I realised how it wasn't going to work here in Sydney but I've come anyway and had to lug my huge and heavy bags up millions of stairs in this cheapo backpackers. It'll be annoying getting it all back but when I move to Melbourne instead I might take my car. I've been treating this like a little holiday and I'm just glad I'll get to see Jan and Fra again! I miss them. Sarah and I had a chat this evening and half way through next year I reckon we'll head to the UK together. I'll be able to get a good job and will stay there for many years I believe. I'll find my Englishman there. I don't have much time left on the computer here as my credit is about to run out so I'll be heading off now but there is so much more to write! I am going to go to the Chinese Garden of Friendship for some Chinese New Year events tomorrow and I need to visit Joyce, go to a nice coffee shop Jan and Fra recommended and do some of the things I haven't done like visit the Maritime Museum and go to the Botanical Gardens. It'll be a nice little holiday. I'll update again soon.

Kyü

Last night was great! I saw Kyü at Mona Foma and they were fantastic live. I wanted to get their CD at the merchandise tent but they were all sold out. I think I can get it online though. All is well. I had been at Orford for the day with mum and Jan and Fra visiting nan and pa and got back at a bit after 5. I tried to contact Holly and meet her to see Fourplay but she didn't answer her phone. I decided to head on down there anyway and check it out. I'm not sure I've ever seen them live before, or really heard much of them but I do love their work. I've had a classical music up-bringing so I really appreciate classical instruments, like violins, being used in a rock band. I like that bridge. While I was there, Holly and Ruben found me. We stood together in the sun watching Fourplay then went back to Holly's boat for some pizza and cider. At 8 we went to see Kyü. Fantastic is all I can say. Lost for words then and now. They are so amazing. I'm listening to them now on their Myspace page but they are way better live. I really need to get back to my room and finish my second assignment for Fronting MONA so I can hand it in at Art School today. I also need to take Katie for a walk and probably meet Sarah for some boots shopping. Eek! Enough on the computer.

Actually, after Kyü had finished, and Andi had just arrived, Andi and I went for a wander and had a drink at Irish. She bumped into a friend there and he was with an Englishman! He was really nice, we had a good chat, and it just gave me hope that I will meet my UK man. They are out there, especially since this guy said there are job shortages over there. I'll meet my man.

Self-love inspired by Sometimes Sweet

In the name of Sometimes Sweet's post --

What I love about myself. This is going to be a little hard at first but it'll do me some good. I am too often thinking about the bad things, like being lazy or sometimes negative, but it's about time I celebrated what I love about myself. Thanks, Danielle!

+ I really love those times when I look in the mirror and can recognize that I'm pretty and that I do love my looks. Sure, I'm not a beauty queen, but I am cute and once I've showered, washed my hair and made myself up I do love how I look. This isn't always the case and I am struggling to say I love how I look but it is true. I do have those moment when I am happy I look the way I do. I've been told I look English and that makes me very proud. My dad is English and my whole family comes from there, even if it is a few generations back, and I love my heritage. That's a huge part of the reason I want to get my surname tattooed on my wrist. Being told I look the part made my day.

+ I love that I am loyal to my friends and family. The few friends I have are really close friends and I love this. I don't need a huge amount of acquaintances to make me feel great. Actually I don't like those kind of meetings where you kind of know someone and feel obliged to go over and say hello. That doesn't make me happy. I love having close relationships with a few and building on them. If any one of them were in trouble I would race over there in a second.

+ When I'm in love or in a relationship, I love how I feel. I love being in love and I love how much I care for that person and I love how fulfilled I feel. I can't wait to fall in love again. I want it to be the one.

+ I love how optimistic I am about love, the future, and when my time will come to get married and start a family. I often wonder if it'll happen in the general vicinity of the time frame I want it to but deep down I know it'll all happen in good time, when I'm ready. I want it to be next year when I'm in Sydney but then again it all depends.

+ I love how I am very in tune with how my words can affect those around me, those I love. This isn't always the case in Hospitality but that's another story. I remember when I was a bit younger, sometimes I wouldn't say the nicest things to my mum, or I wouldn't appreciate all the chores she does around the house. Now I do [I have since I moved out and moved back home the first time]. I see how much she does and I try not to be a burden as I have faced it all myself and see how much there is to do around the house. It wasn't my plan to be living at home at 24 but it is nice being close to my parents while I'm still living in Tasmania. I can't wait to live in my own home and do my own chores. It'll be hard work but it'll be rewarding and nice not to be leaning and depending on mum to do all that work. I feel guilty now for it. Rarely I do the cooking or laundry and I can't wait to be out of here so there will be less work for mum to do. I love that about myself.

Speaking of living at home, I've been here since May. It's been most of the year and that has only dawned on me. I spent the first few months after Yorick and I broke up healing but now that I'm better I just want to move on with life and that means going to Sydney. My desire to move is huge. I want to be self-sufficient. This is the last time I'll be living with my parents, I will make certain of that. It's time to start living my life and as long as I get accepted to Sydney I can start the life I'm dreaming of. If not, then Melbourne will have to do.

+ I love my passion for travel. I really, really, really want to see the world. I'm probably not going to go to the Middle East, maybe a select few countries from that region, but I'd love to start in Asia then move around Europe at a slower pace for a longer amount of time. I'd love to go to parts of America, both North and South, and Africa. I've done a bit of Oceania and would love to do more. I can't wait to travel more.

+ I love that I want to have kids. I love that I have already got my girls' names [Lena for sure, and maybe Quinn or Marta] and I know once I stumble upon the right boys name [something ancient and mythical] I will love it too. I love spending time with my niece Etta Joy O'Regan. I've never been around babies much and am loving learning about them. Etta is the best teacher. I love how much I love her.

+ I love my musical talent. I love my creative burn. I love my artistic appreciation. I love my desire to be more involved with these loves [getting there is another matter].

+ I love looking forward to Sydney. I love the city so much and can't wait to be a part of it [please].

+ I love my passion for history [despite not studying it much] and ancient artifacts. I can't wait to start studying again! I love learning. I love going to Uni.

I think that's enough for now. It has been nice though. I might make a post in the next few days about what I don't like about myself and ways to improve them, such as being lazy. That's going to be a hard one to combat. As long as I have lots of things to keep me occupied I'll be okay. Discussions for another time.

2011 will be my year of change

I think I'm starting to get into a bad sleeping pattern again. I'm not staying up as late anymore, especially here house sitting, but here it gets sunny early as the curtains don't do a great job of blocking out the sun so I am woken up earlier but go back to sleep for a few more hours. I look so haggard when I wake up and feel like I can't get up. It is freezing here in the mornings so that's part of the problem -- not wanting to leave the warmth of bed. I'll get more work and hopefully the problem will be rectified. It will be different when I go back home too.

I need to take Jez for a walk today. I was planning yesterday to go on a walk to Blackman's Bay so I might take her with me for that. It'll tire me out for sure and it'll be a longer lead walk than the first one we took on Wednesday. It was raining all day yesterday but the sun is out today so I will have to take advantage of it. It's nice having a dog and being forced to take it out. I've been thinking of getting one in Sydney for company, something small and easy to manage, as in not too demanding, but I could still take it out for walks. What happens when I come home for visits though? I might have to bring the dog along so it might not be that great, unless I meet someone there and they can look after the dog. Then again if I meet someone they might come back with me for visits and then who would look after the dog! I want fish and there's a problem there with staying away and not feeding them. Overfeed? Oh dear. I'll wait and see what happens

If I don't get into Sydney Uni, I guess I'll ... I was going to say go straight over to the UK when I can afford it but what about my new-found dream to work in a museum? Melbourne distance is an option. I could live with Holly and Ruben and move there but I would rather start over in Sydney. I could move to Sydney and do Uni via distance there! Haha. I couldn't figure out how to apply to Melbourne though so that might never work. It has to somehow. I don't know what I'll do if I don't get in. All I know is that I don't want to be stuck in Tasmania next year, especially since I have hoped for change and to start on a new career path. It would feel like going backwards and I've had enough of that thank you! I want change next year and I shall make it happen somehow!

My future Sydney apartment

I'm going to get this bedspread and take it to Sydney with me. I think it will remind me of my goal after I get my second degree or certificate -- that I want, and will get, to go to the UK and live and work and visit my family all the time. I want to move over there, to live in a cute little cottage, and find my future husband.

I like thinking about how my Sydney apartment room will look like. Hopefully I'll get a cute apartment/flat/studio for myself in Glebe close to Uni that will be all mine that I can decorate however I want. I imagine myself getting just a mattress with this fabulous duvet set on it, with some cute shelves and second-hand furniture. It will be very basic but as long as I have a TV, DVD player, some of my DVD's and a laptop [might have to invest in a new one] then I'll be okay. I would have loved to live in Manly near the beach but it's so far from the Uni I'd have to spend a lot of time travelling and I don't want to always be going through the city. I want to be close to Uni as that's what I'll be there for and only go to town when I want to. I think that's the best way to do it.

I saw a cute second-hand furniture store on the main street in Glebe. Lots of couches outside on the street for example. I'll definitely have to go in there and find myself a bargain. I'll need a few tables to work at and sit at for dinner, a couch or armchair, and a chair. Not much really. I think it'll be a great experience not living with much.

Something like this would be cute, to hang my keys on and put my mail on. I've always wanted one of those, even one to sit on with a mirror. I have a few in mind, one from Gilmore Girls and one from Sex and the City. I just love the idea of having a little table with possibly a bowl for keys, a space for letters and my phone and wallet or bag, somewhere to sit and be organised, a place for my daily planner. I like Carrie's one in her New York apartment with the mirror on it too. Something along those lines would be fantastic. This picture isn't the greatest but it's close to what I'm thinking.

I would also like a really cute armchair to sit in and relax in. I've always wanted one but have never gotten one. There is a great looking one in The Sims 2 that I love. It's stripy and just how I picture the one I would like so that's a must on my list. I hope that once I'm in the UK I can start collecting great furniture. The only bad thing is I have a great chest for clothes that I got from Mt Nelson but there is no way to transport it cheaply, not that I know of. One day it might be worth looking into. I really love it. I will spend the rest of the year planning my Sydney apartment!

James, George and Etta were over yesterday at my parent's house [where I am currently living] for lunch. I had long holds/cuddles with Etta and it got me thinking about how much I want what they have but also that I'm scared because I know nothing about babies. They keep mentioning all these little things about baby stuff that I have never heard of before and on our walk, mum said I would find out when it was necessary. I hope so. I can't wait to have that life. I know I don't want to settle down in Tassie though. I want to live in the UK. I reckon I'll come back here for a while but it's not my idea place to settle down. The only thing keeping me here is friends and family. I have plans for Sydney and the UK before and after that [after for a longer time] but I'll miss Etta growing up and them having a second child. "Drat that Mrs. Kim" [Gilmore Girls].

Yorick was in my dream last night. My sister and I were sitting in a classroom I used to be in for a class in high school, one of the terrapins off the English building that I had German in, and Yorick was there behind us somewhere trying to suss out what we were doing in the class. I haven't seen him in weeks and the only contact we've had was about tax numbers. He hasn't contacted me and I haven't contacted him. I'm happy with the way things are and I don't care that we're not seeing each other. The only reason I think it's weird that we're not together is because for the last 4 years I was sure we were meant to go the distance. I'm happy not hanging out with him but I want gossip and Sophie is away so she can't find it out for me and pass it on. I don't really want to hang with him but then I like to so I know what he's up to. That's not a good reason to ask him to hang. We said we might go for hot chips in Lenah Valley for the next hang session. I might ask him to do that when I need him to fix my computer as he said he would. I want him to be jealous of all my plans, Sydney, UK and the Federal Group. I like having gossip from Sophie. I'm seeing Holly this afternoon so maybe she has some gossip for me.

I told Alison about the possibility of Coles Bay and she was excited for me. I thought she'd be mad because I'll be leaving thebeach when they need good workers. She has hired 4 new people but I'm not sure they're very experienced. I might not even get the job but I'm hoping I do. I need the change of scenery and the adventure and the full-time work. I might get the news just after my graduation on the 21st of August. If I don't get it I'll have to find full-time work elsewhere. I'm excited about seeing Holly today. I've missed her and I have so much to tell her. She's definitely like a big sister. When I contacted her last week about meeting up sometime [she said today] she said she wondered where I had gotten to as I said I was sick. She didn't write to me though. Sad.

Dad and I are going to go for a walk soon. I got my new runners from Big W for $14 and the are fine, not sore at all after my walk with mum yesterday. I want to get back into exercise mode. I want to lose weight and get fit. Going to Coles Bay would be great as I could run on the beach each day. That would be bliss.

I haven't seen Yorick is ages. I kinda don't care but he was a great friend if nothing else and I would like to keep in contact. I want him to fix my computer and I would like to have chips in the park with him but I also don't want to know what he gets up to these days as I'm sure I wouldn't approve. It's not my place to approve and I'm out of that pit for good. My life is better than it was with him. I have Sydney and the UK and the possibility of Freycinet/Cradle Mountain. I do want to see him. It's easy not seeing him but I might wait until I have an external hard drive so I can get most of my stuff onto that before giving him my laptop to fix, not that I really think he'd snoop, just to make it easier for him I suppose. I said he can get the NZ/Vanuatu pictures off my computer, even though he would show them to others and not admit I was there. Whatever. I'm better off without him in my life. Way better off. I might see him next week.

Sydney Uni Open Day

I want to go to the University of Sydney's Open Day! This year it's on August 28th from 9-430 and has some great activities. I wonder if they have one for early next year so I can go before Sarah and I head off to the UK. I don't want to miss something as important as this Open Day as it will provide me with all the information I need. I'll be able to enroll and be shown around the campus, talk to the faculty members. I'll have to check the situation out.

University of Sydney Open Day 2010
Get one-on-one advice
Do you need more information about admissions, courses or other aspects of studying at the University of Sydney? Then talk to the faculty representatives, career experts and admissions advisers at the information booths in the Quadrangle. Between them, they can answer all your questions. Have a look at the maps to find out where you can get the answers you need.

Take in a lecture, or three
We’re running a program of mini-lectures all day, covering many different aspects of the University. Check what’s on offer, choose the ones that interest you and then print your personalised program.

See the sights
We’re running regular tours of the campus, faculty buildings, museums and residential colleges throughout Open Day as well as lots of interesting demonstrations. Find out what interests you.

Soak up the atmosphere
There will be food, music and entertainment in several locations across campus. Relax, hang out with friends – or make new ones – and get a glimpse into your life as a Sydney student!

Museum Tours
Sydney University Museums
Free 20-minute tours of Sydney University Museums depart from the foyer of the Nicholson Museum at 11am, 12pm, 1pm and 2pm. Handle genuine archaeological artefacts, speak to archaeology and history students, watch film screenings and listen to short talks throughout the day. See page 13 for more information.

Pathology Museum
Meet in the foyer of the Edward Ford Building on Fisher Road and take a guided tour of the fascinating – and sometimes gruesome – Pathology Museum. The 40-minute tours run every hour from 10am to 1pm.

I just wrote an email to the future students email address asking about the Open Day for 2011. I really want to go.

What's on my mind

I think about moving to Sydney a lot, about the Uni course I'll be doing, about the new city to explore, about the new job I'll need to get and all the friends I'll meet through work and Uni, and about how I'll have to find a place to live and set myself up afresh. I'm excited about and confident that I'll be able to survive on my own. It'll be my thing. I'm not following anyone. I can't wait to be in a good share-house, to decorate my new room. Once back from the UK I'll have to save heaps of money for bond and a bed and draws and stuff. The weather will be nice and I know I'll love the Uni I'll be going to and the course. I will miss my family and I'll miss getting to see Etta grow up but I will make sure I save enough to get back home every few months. I'll have to get Skype so I can not only hear people on the phone but see them. I'll have to get my laptop fixed. I might have to get a new one as mine's pretty bad. I'd like a new one, all pretty and light weight. I might even get a smaller computer bag. We shall see. I shouldn't get too carried away.

Last night I went to James' Snert gig with Sarah and her house-mate Nicole. It was really fun. Sarah and I danced for most of it and got a bit sweaty. Before that we had drinks at their house and had Cool Thai for dinner and watched Skins 1. It was a great night. I felt free. I'm liking feeling free. Yorick said he'd go on Facebook but he didn't show. I wonder why. I didn't want him to be there but I also did want him to be there so I could show him how okay I am. It's not about him, it's about me wanting to feel superior. I don't miss him. I miss the lifestyle and the company but I know there's something 10 times better out there waiting for me. I can feel it and I believe I'll be lucky enough to get it. I will. I just have to be patient and I will be. I'm not going to go and kiss random people. I'm going to save myself for my future husband and it'll be worth it. I hope he finds me before I meet someone who I think is the one but isn't after closer examination. I have to go with the flow and be open to all possibilities.

I can't wait till I go to Sydney next year to enroll and start learning the layout of the city. It'll be a great trip. I want to go this year but shouldn't. It's a little too eager to go now when the course is 2 years away. I have to get a job in the next few months so I can start saving for the UK. I'll be getting $500 tax back so I'll put all of that away and then it'll be easy to keep adding to it and watch the number go up and up. I have $100 in cash from my work tips so I'm already doing great! That's half a plane flight.

I went to the doctors yesterday and was prescribed the Pill to help control my unusual acne. It's been around for 6 months and won't go away. I had fine skin before with only the occasional pimple but now it's horrible. The last time it wasn't so nice was in high school! It's strange that my skin is so bad now. Why is it? I think it might be hormonal. I got the generic version of the Diane Pill for $10 so I'll see how it goes for this first month. The chemist suggested I book another doctors appointment before the first month's worth of pills is up but my doctor gave me 3 lots of 3 month repeats if it goes well and my body doesn't reject the Pill. I hope it works. If it doesn't I'll have to try topical lotions instead. I hope the Pill doesn't give me periods. I have been so happy not having them but I'm not sure it's worth having shitty skin. I'll want nice skin even if I have to pay for it with some periods. I'm meant to have them anyway. Implanon stops it, that's all. I really hope my skin clears up. It's embarrassing and make me feel shit. I don't want to feel like crap anymore.

I need to find a job soon so I can start working full-time and save almost all of the money I earn. Maybe I should go back to Dymocks and give them my resume again. I'm getting really bored, especially these last few days since I've been getting better, and staying in bed all day and watching TV shows is starting to feel like a waste of time again. I need to start my exercise regime. That will get me feeling productive. I need to start reading more too. That doesn't feel like a waste of time. Tonight I'll try to go to sleep earlier than usual. Tomorrow I'll go to visit James and George and Etta with mum and meet Nanna and Pa there. Oh little Etta. She's such a cutie.

Sydney and the UK

Last night mum mentioned that Sarah and I should go to the UK for a planned amount of time, 3 months for example, so then we have a taster, get to see the family, and I can come back and earn money for my move to Sydney. After 2.5 years of study and probably a year of working then I can go back to the UK and stay for longer whilst working in a better paid job. The only thing is that I've hoped for many years now that I would get married between the ages of 25 and 27 and start having kids at 27/28. I also hope that I'll marry someone from the UK and/or Ireland as I love their accents, my family lives there, and I want to have a similar surname [similar as in from those countries. Mine is O'Regan which is English/Irish in origin]. I shouldn't plan to heavily on this as it might not happen until I go back after Sydney unless I meet someone with such a background over there. I don't want to be too old and have too much of an age gap between me and my parents. I want to be closer in age like the Gilmore Girls are but not that close. I don't want to be too much of an adult, someone who can't connect on their level. I'll find someone great and it'll happen when it's meant to. I don't want to waste time with someone I won't marry and have kids with.

Now, talking about Sydney reminds me I haven't quite explained what I'm on about. I want to do Museum Studies there, first the Graduate Certificate, then the Graduate Diploma, and then finally the Masters in Museum Studies if I'm smart enough and if it's necessary. I'm really quite excited about it, about the course, about moving to Sydney. I think it'll be great. It's away from home, an adventure, but it's no in Melbourne as that's where everyone goes to. It's somewhere different, my own thing, and I think it'll be great. Sometime this year I'll go over and check out the campus, talk to some staff about the course and maybe what books to start reading, so I'll be ready when I get there in 2012. It's a long way away but next year I still want to go to the UK. I was dreaming/thinking last night about when I go over to Sydney to check things out that I won't really know where to go or where to eat or stay or how to get to my destinations so I'll pick up the Lonely Planet Sydney book which will help me with the sights, restaurants, places to stay and maps. It'll be perfect. I've been there twice before but don't remember where the mall is or the center of things. I remember the Quay and going on the ferry but that's about it. The flights are fairly cheap and it's not too far from home and I know mum and dad will visit on a few occasions. I'll definitely get home sick but I know I'll end up loving it. I'll have to make new friends and get a part time job there to sustain myself. Once I get back from the UK I'll save up lots of money for bond and house stuff, like a mattress. Hopefully I can go out with Tim [a guy who used to work at my work] and some of his friends so I can make some more friends, then friends through work and through the course and house mates. I'll have to do a share house but it'll be cool. Cheaper rent and I'll be one of those people who catches trams and trains to Uni and work! It'll be awesome.

I hope things work out close to how I want them on the man/kids front. I'm a little worried that spending 3 years in Sydney will keep me away from my ideal guy but then again I might meet him when I go over there next year and he might come with me. I hope.

I want to be a Museum Curator

I'm feeling sick today. I worked a lot over the weekend, doing 19 hours all up [which is unusual for me these days but great as I don't have any other income], but am feeling the effects of it today. I couldn't get out of bed until I made myself at 1215 today. I was planning to go to the gym but I seem to have misplaced my shoes and pants that I workout in. They could be in the gym somewhere as I might have left them in my locker, but I can't quite remember what I did with them. I will go by there tomorrow and suss the situation out. I want to go for a walk again today. I went on Saturday and it was great. I walked to telegraph pole 94A and jogged half of the way down. I'm going to try and do that most days each week.

In other news, I have decided I want to be a Museum Curator. I will do the Graduate Certificate in Museum Studies and follow that with the diploma and the masters if it all works out. It's nice having this to think about. I was looking over internet sites on Saturday and there was an interview with someone in this job and she said to do an internship or volunteer so you can see all the different areas. If I don't come back from the UK for a few years then I'll do the course over there. How great to go to a University in the UK! They will have better museums to work in anyway. It will be fabulous. If I come back earlier I will go to Melbourne probably. The Sydney Uni looks so wonderful that I'd rather go there but Melbourne is closer to home. I know three people in Melbourne, and only one in Sydney [Tim from thebeach who I'm not that close with], but it would be nice to have an adventure to somewhere new. It also might be best if I go somewhere where I know people. Making new friends can be hard. Doing in the UK might be preferable. I'd love to stay for ages and really get to know the country and spend time with my family. Hopefully I find my husband over there and have even more reason to stay. I should look up UK Museum Studies courses today.

The course in Sydney looks great. The website is so detailed and it sounds perfect. They have mandatory internships and everything is set out so well. I should look at the Melbourne courses though. After a bit of research, UK Universities need students to have done Honours [in the case of one University at least] so I suspect the bar will be higher. Australia has good programs so I will be fine studying here. I don't think Melbourne would get me a Masters degree if I wanted though, so it might have to be Sydney! I have lots of time to think it over though. I'll find other options as well to peruse.

Yorick and I will be having lunch sometime this week or next I think. I want to talk to him about how I don't like that things are weird between us, how things are so different, and stuff to do with not being able to talk to each other about what we're feeling. That is reserved for our friends. Why is that? I just want to be open with him and see where that gets us. I don't like the weirdness.

I'm going to try and go for a walk today as I didn't make it to the gym. Sarah is coming down and we'll watch a movie. James and George will be here for dinner too. I can't wait till the baby arrives!

Vietnam?

On my walk with mum today we talked about the possibility of going to Vietnam and Cambodia before going to the UK. She and dad might even come with us for that part. I like the idea of getting lots of tailor made clothes for cheap. I really want to go there a lot for a few months at some stage in my life and travel all around, including Thailand and Laos. Those places fascinate me. Something to think about. It's nice bouncing ideas off of each other.

I've been thinking about Yorick a bit today. I miss our life together but keep reminding myself that we're not right for each other now, that I'll meet a better suited person for me in the UK, my future husband, and that he'll be the type that will want to start a family with me sooner rather than later. I believe it'll happen. So much is out there waiting for me. I miss the life Yorick and I made together. It was cutesy and loving but it had to end. I'm sad that it did but I'm not too sad as we're still being friends [need to talk to him about the changes to our relationship]. It's hard to deal with knowing that the lovely life we had together is gone. I also have to remember that it's still in my memories so it's not lost forever. Sigh.

Up for breakfast at 9am for fried potatoes with pappa [dad]. That will be nice. I'm trying to look up museum/art theory courses online but the site that guy recommended to me when I went into talk about my career path has changed and I don't know how to make it right. Arr. I'll try again tomorrow.

Who made up the rules?

Yorick and I are going to have lunch together tomorrow. My sister saw him at her work [the Casino] for a quiz night and she said that he seemed weird, like we all hate him or something. I want to tell him that's not the case. I want to tell him that I miss the life we had together. I hate how things are seen as either appropriate or inappropriate when discussing such things with ex partners. Who made these rules anyway? I want to say something to him but it's like we're not allowed to talk about how we feel but it's open for discussion when we're talking to friends separately. It's available for public discussion but not one-to-one with the persons involved. I've only seen him 3 times since we split up. It was really nice that he asked me to do something more than just have a meal. Maybe we can go for a walk around the docks. It was hard finding things to do with him in the end. I didn't feel that connection. I felt we had to make an effort and it was true. I like the fantasy that we'll end up together but I don't think he's right for me. He doesn't have the best genes to pass on and is a little too social for me [something I don't think will ever quieten down even if we had a family] so I don't see it working again. It would never be as great as we were in the beginning and that's what I miss. Watching Eclipse for the third time tonight made me really want to have another first kiss. I miss that, the anticipation and nervousness, and feeling so wonderful and new. I can't wait for that to happen. I don't want to be slutty and go around kissing just anyone just for a kiss. I want to find my future husband and make a solid base with him. I hope I find him somewhere on my UK and beyond travels.

I want to start eating less junk, aka biscuits, and try to eat more fruit. I do well with breakfast [homemade yogurt with a banana and a kiwi when it's ripe] and lunch [a healthy toasted sandwich] and dinner [something healthy provided by my parents] but it's the snacks that I do bad on. I eat too many biscuits at different stages of the day. I need cut that out and eat a piece of fruit instead, an apple or orange. I should get grapes and cantelope and have them on hand for times I'm convinced I'm hungry. I'm walking for about an hour 4 times a week and am trying to get to the gym as well for a few classes. Once I'm on holiday I'll drink more water, eat less, and be active thus sleeping better. My skin will improve and so will my life in all aspects. I can't wait to be on holiday. I also can't wait till my savings are getting higher and higher, which isn't happening now as I don't have a high income. I hope I get a job soon, either this office junior position or the bank job. I'll talk to Holly about it tomorrow when we're out shopping for buttons supplies after my lunch with Yorick. We'll probably also look at hair dyes for me. We talked about going lighter as I liked it the one time I did it but this morning when drying my hair I reconsidered. Maybe I should do darker again. I like my hair darker. I don't want to regret dying it lighter as well as cutting it shorter. Darker it is.

I want to buy some UK walks books. There's one for Britain, including Scotland and Wales, and one for Ireland. I like going to bookstores and looking at them first so I might do that at some stage tomorrow before buying them off the Book Depository for cheaper. That site has the best deals ever. I only learned about it when it was too late for my first Uni degree but later is better than never. I'll be so fit over there and the walks will be amazing as well as providing me with exercise.

The covered buttons are going well. I've been making more but will need to get more of the buttons to turn into covered buttons in a little while. I also need more fabric, brighter this time, and have to work on the design. I'll try to do it myself with the help of pictures I find on the internet and see if it's okay to use. Once I have the design I'll be able to place some earrings in it and see the finished products. I'll have to make a few sizes of the earring cards with the design on it, one for 3 pairs, one for 2 pairs and one for 1 pair. I'm so excited to be learning all about marketing from Holly. She knows so much and has been a great help already. I'm loving this journey.

Just thinking

On Monday I was thinking, "I miss that lifestyle; having someone to come home to, no parents, just the two of us. I appreciated it in a taken-for-granted way." I like living at home but sometimes I miss the independence and adultness of having my own home. I hated how it was always messy. I was thinking yesterday that one day I might have to have a maid, or a nanny who will help out around the house if I have a few kids with my one-day husband. Sara at work says he should be older, thus more mature. The more time that passes from the split with Yorick, the more I realise he's not the guy for me. He's shorter, and has a receding hairline, not the greatest genes to pass on. And he's too young now in terms of maturity. He's 8 months older than me but he needs to go off and be single, not feeling like he's tied down and that's it. He's not right for me. I want someone with stunning looks [to me at least] who is a bit taller and I suppose older, someone who is very family oriented and wants to start a family with me soon. I keep watching TV series and see people getting together and I know I will have that one day. I love that feeling I get watching them, imagining myself in their position, with first kisses and all those beautiful things in the beginning of a relationship. I'm excited for it to arrive for me one day. I'll be waiting for a year or so but I can do it.

Mum and I were talking about the UK today on our walk. I really want to stay a long time, to travel and work there, then to have enough money to go off on my own to other countries. Having Sarah there might seem like I'm her keeper and that I won't be as free as I would like to be but we'll work around that. She probably won't stay as long as I want to but then again we have to wait and see. I want to do the style of travelling Yorick and I did. We went and saw the sights and wandered around, shopped, rested and relaxed, but Sarah will be different. It'll work out. Planning is a must, mum said. I guess that will help Sarah get excited and have things to do. Hm.

I'm still waiting for more covered button things. I have been working on my travel books though. I'm proud of my progress. There is still a lot to do but I feel happier because I'm doing something productive, instead of wasting time watching TV shows. I need more hobbies, or a job. I applied for some receptionist positions in Kingston [15 minutes from my parents' house] so hopefully I will hear back from them soon. I need to start saving. Having regular work would also pick my spirits up. I need another job. I'm so lazy without one.

My little niece or nephew will be born in 6 weeks. My brother and his wife are having a baby and I'm going to be an auntie! I'm excited about that. I bought their baby some cute onesies from Threadless that I gave to George at her baby shower last Saturday. I can't wait! It makes me want one, all the cute clothes. There were so many small babies at the shower. Aww. I'll have that one day with the right man for me. Yay!

Sigh

I am a little sad this afternoon about Yorick and how he's not that man in my life anymore. I miss having one of those. I know I'll get it back again one day and he'll be the one to marry. That's what I'm aiming for. This had better be the last time I'm single. I'm fed up with it already.

I got this Cosmopolotan Fitness magazine today and it's getting me inspired to get fit and stick with it. There are some very spot on parts where people have the same personality traits as me, aka laziness, and they suggest what to do in terms of fitness about that. For people like me they reccomend 30 minutes of brisk walking 3 times a week. I think I can do that. Apparently it's better on the treadmill than on a road, 60% better actually. A less hard surface? I wish I had a beach near by as that would be my surface to run on. One day. They also suggest Yoga once a week. I'd love to do that. I will see if Zap has any Yoga classes and if not I'll go back to the Lotus Centre above Babylon. I liked it there. It's more money though. I'd love to work with a personal trainer for a session and see if that's something I want to continue on with. I want to see some real results.

I'm working tonight and tomorrow night and Sunday night. My weekly work fix. I think tomorrow morning I might go watch James' soccer match with mum and dad and if not then I'll spend the day doing not much, as per usual. I have gotten some material to cover buttons with so I am excited about that. I need to ask Lolly Chops about glueing parts and if that's something she missed out in her tutorial. I could get started tomorrow then! I went to Spotlight and got one fat quarter. They had lots there but were all patterened and I just want solid colours to start with. The one I got today is black and white stripped, not too harsh, but something simple. I've seen polka dots but not stripes so far. Niche. Looking through the fabrics was hard. They didn't have the range of colours I wanted so I might have to get them off Etsy like I found. They are tye-dyed so the colouring is a bit splotchy but that might just be something unique to the table with many other covered button suppliers. They also have a huge range of colours and that's just what I want. I'll do a little more research and if I can't find anything else I'll get them.

I am watching so many TV seasons at the moment:
One Tree Hill 7
The Vampire Diaries 1
Lost 6
Will & Grace 4
Gilmore Girls 1
They are all on the go as the top 3 are to be watched via the internet and I don't often do it [well I try to be good about it] because of the limit on the internet. It's also not in a comfy spot so it's best to do one at a time.

I went to the doctor today and my ears are fixed. I can hear now! I was so excited. It was a strange procedure. The nurse used this machine to put pressured water into my ear and all this yucky stuff came out into this metal dish. It worked though. She did both ears, which was great, and now I am all better. I also talked to the doctor about my pimples and he has prescribed me this cream to use nightly and once I wash it off in the morning I have to put on a suntan lotion as it makes me more suceptible to burning. I will ask mum if we have any of that. It will take a few months for me to see results but I'm excited about getting my skin fixed.

Sarah might not be able to save enough for this time next year to be able to come then to the UK. I might have to go by myself for the first part, which means I can do all the touristy things that she might not be interested in. I'm excited about it. I want to make at least $10,000 but I will see how that goes. For ages now I haven't had much money so in the last few weeks when I've put money away into my other accounts I've forgotten about it as I'm used to having nothing. Hopefully that feeling lasts for a while so I can save. I need another job though! Badly. I need more money. Arrr. Tax will help a lot to get me started, but then again I want a new phone and before I leave I want to get the Canon 400D camera to take with me. Got to get a new job.

Seeing Katie from Skunkboy Creatures' new tattoo makes me want one. I'm going to get my surname on my inner left wrist at some point before I leave for the UK but seeing pretty ones like hers in unusual [to me] places makes me want the same. Not the same design but something pretty and feminine and larger. I might regret that though. I'm sure about the surname thing, and once I test them out by sticking the cut-out fonts onto my arm I will know that it's definitely right. It can be hidden.

It's Winter and officially freezing. I have to start wearing more clothes. I don't like my legs in pants so that's why I wear skirts all the time. They look good on me, especially with black stockings and my black ugg boots. That's all I wear these days. I'm comfortable in that so why not? I might go watch one of my many TV series soon and relax before work.

Dinner with Yorick

Yorick and I had another dinner tonight and it went well. It's like nothing has changed and that's how I wanted it to be. I feel a little uncomfortable looking into his eyes too much as that's something I save for intimate boyfriend relationships. It's the only time I can and be comfortable at the same time. We talked about him talking to his parents. They liked my cards. He mentioned how him and his housemates are going on runs together. That pisses me off a bit. They all share his car as the other's don't work and it's all too chummy for my liking. They all cook together and that kind of stuff. It's a bit sickening. I'm not as jealous as I would be if we were together. I'd want to be there all the time to mark my territory but as it is I don't need to. It's much easier knowing we're not right for each other. I was so certain we were but I don't think we are anymore. He has a lot of growing up to do and I'm glad to be free and able to do whatever I want. I like not having to answer to anyone or plan stuff around his itinery. I can't wait to be in the UK and do fantastic things everyday. That will be the life. That's why I can't wait to start my earring store. I want to feel like I'm doing something great. I'm in the limbo stage at the moment. I need a new job. Arrg. I'll go and do stuff in town and at Uni tomorrow and start getting stuff done. Yay.

My own business?

I haven't written in a little while but I've been thinking about all that's happening in my life and all that's going to happen. Exciting times ahead.

On Monday I bought the United Kingdom and Ireland Lonely Planet guides. They are really nice books with so many colourful pages and pictures. I got a bit worried yesterday thinking about how I'm going to plan stuff but if I write down all the places I want to go under the heading of a country or city then they can all be ticked off when I'm there. My sister should do a Contiki Tour at some point so I can do my own thing while she's away on one of those trips. When my aunts Jan and Fra are out at the end of the year they can help us plan things as well. I'm loving this.

On another note, I've been thinking about Yorick and what's happening with my dealing with it. I don't really miss him. I miss having someone next to me in bed or cooking and eating dinner with. Someone to watch TV with and yell out to [in a cute way] across the house. It's not so much him because we haven't been a couple in a while. I just miss those kinds of things. I know I'll find it again though. I like that we're still going to be friends. In Launceston this week, Sophie and I were having a chat about it and I mentioned how I think he's avoiding any closeness because I think he might be thinking that that might make me want him back or something. Well I don't, but Sophie said that boys have a hard time separating friends from lovers. I'm fine with it but I guess I have to go with his flow and how he wants to take things. We haven't seen each other since the dinner but I want to give him space so he feels how he wants to feel. I'm happy with space too. I mentioned to him in a message about the power bill and if he paid his half [he didn't] and I asked how he was. He said he's still sick [with a cold] but that it's clearing up and asked how I've been. I said stuff about the bill and how I'm feeling better about Uni with deciding to quit and move in a different direction. I wrote "I'm researching the UK more and am planning to get a one way ticket, maybe work there for a bit and do some travelling. I think it's good that we are taking the time to be young. There's plenty of time for families and settling. I do want that one day but it's nice to feel free to go explore the world first. We'll get what we want from life I'm sure. Let me know if/when you want to hang out one day. It would be nice to see you." I wanted to let him know that I'm independent and that I am enjoying being free, to have options such as travelling, and that I'm okay with it all. I hope he is a bit shocked.

I got an email today from my lecturer for 301 and I didn't pass the DVD Interview assignment. It came as a relief, even though I wonder why I didn't pass, and it's good that I don't have to sit that exam. I hated that class the most. I'm not going to be doing social work anymore and I'm glad that decision has been made. Marg suggested I go see Student Service and ask them about skipping out on my other exams. I don't see the point and maybe they can back up that decision for me. I'll go to class next week but not after that, unless the suggest I go to the exams. Ahh well. In 301, you have to pass that assignment to do the fieldwork next semester and I won't be doing that anyway so it was nice getting an easy way out. I can't wait for anthropology.

I might have mentioned that I want to make covered button earrings. I had an idea about making them into a bracelet. I might be able to make an Etsy shop with my store name as "gone to neverland" and sell things on there. How cool. Since seeing Holly's creations and her market stalls I've been inspired to have my own business in craft and maybe I can have that. I think it'd be so fun and extra money on the side. I'm going to do it. I'll have to make a banner and chose my font and get some cards printed to put my earrings through. Holly can help me with all of this and I think she'll be proud.

I want to do more photography. I need to go and get fit. Lots to do.

New adventures ahoy

Mum and I had another big chat sitting by the fire drinking a cup of tea. I don't want to do social work anymore. It doesn't feel right for me now but that doesn't mean it won't be right for me down the track. Mum can see me as a librarian and that might be alright in an ancient library but I want to do archaeology and anthropology. I might even do one of those over in England at a University there. I think next semester I'll work and save money. I'll get a job maybe in a bookstore somewhere and work 2 or 3 nights at thebeach. I'll save money for the UK trip and I want to read more leisure books and do my Travel Books [New Zealand and Vanuatu] and go on small trips with Holly for photos. I want to live. And so I shall. I'll keep going with this semester at Uni and finish up after that. I will do some research on the right course and the right Uni for those other two areas and look at the Lonely Planet guides to the UK and Ireland. I really like that I'm much happier about the Yorick situation. I'm so glad we're being friends and bypassing all that sadness as a result. I'm not missing it too much as it's kinda still there through our friendship. I'm glad.