Sydney here I come! [Please]

Once again getting accepted to Sydney is the only thing on my mind. Everyday I keep checking the UAC website, aka Universities Admissions Centre, to see whether or not I have gotten any offers. Drat that lady for not giving my a specific date! It's driving me insane.

Okay, so there have been other things on my mind. Sydney takes up most of it. I've been watching Parenthood lately and am loving it more and more. I love watching couples fall in love and making future plans like to get married or have children. That's what I want. I want to meet my future husband and start a family. I want to feel how right it is, how he's the one, and experience what it's like to be with your perfect match. I want to build a life with him, go travelling, and start making babies. I can't wait.

I have saved $1650 so far! I'm very proud of myself. I think from now on I'll keep saving my money even when I'm in Sydney [I had a good feeling about it today]. I want to be able to buy things and go on holidays and not have to start from scratch each time. I need to be more money responsible. I love watching the numbers get higher. I did a little shopping today. I got some supplies for my rice ball plushies and it costed a bit. I also went grocery shopping for a few things and feel like I've spent all my money. I did order some Mari Winsor Pilates DVDs too. I am a bit stressed that I'm wasting it but I'm not really. I'll just watch what I spend for the rest of the week and I'll be back up again when I get paid. I got $400 this week and will probably get a little more as I'm working a double on Friday. I don't like being stressed out about money.

I need more supplies for my rice balls. I forgot to get some kind of string/rope for their dangling arms and legs, which will need to be attached before I sew everything up. I got some really cute patterned fabrics. I'm going to make some bunnies [by adding floppy ears] and maybe some bears and just some regular rice balls. I'll use my covered button earring bases for eyes and put a little cross on them. For some I'll have to use black eyes with a white cross and for others the reverse depending on the fabric. It's all very exciting. I think they will be darn cute.

The weather has been rather nice lately. Warm and hopeful. It did rain most of today though, which is a little sad. The nicer weather has been a great spirit-lifter. I can't wait for Sydney and the beautiful weather. Next year will be so fabulous. I really want to get in. I'm constantly praying and as you can see I've come back to this topic! It is really the majority of what I spend my time thinking about. That's okay though because I'm sick of this year and want to go out on my own. I deserve it and it's about time I survive on my own. Bring it on.

Rice balls

I totally want to make some vintage fabric rice balls. I think it'd be cute with their dangling arms and legs. I want to sew but the felt I have isn't nice. As I said an entry or two ago I must, one day when I am in the money, go in search of great fabrics and make these rice balls. I know they work and how to make them as they're rather easy. I want one of those great stalls like Katie and Holly do. I want to make the suitcases that Katie shows her items in. I think it's the greatest way to present them. Sigh. I have my buttons too so maybe they could be the eyes...

I really do think about Sydney a lot. I'm always planning for it and I'm so excited to go there next week and even though staying at the BASE back packer's wasn't great as I didn't get much sleep, it was good getting familiar with the city and coming back to a set location. I know how to get to town and to the cinemas and to the bus stop to get to Uni so I think it will be best to stay at BASE again just so I concrete my knowledge of the city further. I really hope it all works out. I desperately want to move there and do museum studies. I could look at Adelaide if this doesn't work but Sydney would be fantastic. It's about time something worked out for me.

Over it? Etsy store ideas are better

I was thinking about Yorick last night while trying to get to sleep. I've been wondering why things are so easy. Sometimes I think I'm over it but I won't be on that road until I get used to him dating or that kind of stuff. That will be horrible and hard but it'll move me further away from idealising what we had. I think that I am finding it easy because we're not hanging out much, even though we're friends, and we're not hanging out together in his friendship circle. Sophie will invite me to those gatherings but it might be best for me not to. It'll just be weird. I don't want to see him flirting with anyone and that would just be torturing myself. Unless Holly's there too and it's not just me and Sophie who understandably ditches me sometimes to talk to the boys then it might be okay. I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

In other news, Holly is excited about me starting up my own 'lable' for the earrings and whatever else I decide to make and sell. I think it'll be so much fun. I believe there are levels of creativity and one that I can achieve successfully is these covered button earrings. They have the idea there all ready for you and you just have to chose your fabric. I'm good with aethetics so I'll find it fairly easy once I get the hang of it. Another level that I'm not too good at is when it comes down to having my own idea. I've been thinking about making the rice ball felt toys and have done a few but I don't feel like they're great. If I can make stuff that people can wear that I really like and would wear too then I'll feel confident to get them out there. I want to make bracelets with the covered buttons and how I see it in my mind it can be done. I'll make some different sized earrings for my sister but I'm not sure about the broaches. I don't want to do the rings as I didn't like how they looked with the silver band. It was too high a contrast between that and the button. It could work but I don't want to try it. I might go with some bigger broach buttons and make them into necklaces. They can have some great pictures on them. This is exciting. I always wanted an Etsy stall since I saw Holly's stalls at the Markets. I could even do that one day! Scary but fun.

My own business?

I haven't written in a little while but I've been thinking about all that's happening in my life and all that's going to happen. Exciting times ahead.

On Monday I bought the United Kingdom and Ireland Lonely Planet guides. They are really nice books with so many colourful pages and pictures. I got a bit worried yesterday thinking about how I'm going to plan stuff but if I write down all the places I want to go under the heading of a country or city then they can all be ticked off when I'm there. My sister should do a Contiki Tour at some point so I can do my own thing while she's away on one of those trips. When my aunts Jan and Fra are out at the end of the year they can help us plan things as well. I'm loving this.

On another note, I've been thinking about Yorick and what's happening with my dealing with it. I don't really miss him. I miss having someone next to me in bed or cooking and eating dinner with. Someone to watch TV with and yell out to [in a cute way] across the house. It's not so much him because we haven't been a couple in a while. I just miss those kinds of things. I know I'll find it again though. I like that we're still going to be friends. In Launceston this week, Sophie and I were having a chat about it and I mentioned how I think he's avoiding any closeness because I think he might be thinking that that might make me want him back or something. Well I don't, but Sophie said that boys have a hard time separating friends from lovers. I'm fine with it but I guess I have to go with his flow and how he wants to take things. We haven't seen each other since the dinner but I want to give him space so he feels how he wants to feel. I'm happy with space too. I mentioned to him in a message about the power bill and if he paid his half [he didn't] and I asked how he was. He said he's still sick [with a cold] but that it's clearing up and asked how I've been. I said stuff about the bill and how I'm feeling better about Uni with deciding to quit and move in a different direction. I wrote "I'm researching the UK more and am planning to get a one way ticket, maybe work there for a bit and do some travelling. I think it's good that we are taking the time to be young. There's plenty of time for families and settling. I do want that one day but it's nice to feel free to go explore the world first. We'll get what we want from life I'm sure. Let me know if/when you want to hang out one day. It would be nice to see you." I wanted to let him know that I'm independent and that I am enjoying being free, to have options such as travelling, and that I'm okay with it all. I hope he is a bit shocked.

I got an email today from my lecturer for 301 and I didn't pass the DVD Interview assignment. It came as a relief, even though I wonder why I didn't pass, and it's good that I don't have to sit that exam. I hated that class the most. I'm not going to be doing social work anymore and I'm glad that decision has been made. Marg suggested I go see Student Service and ask them about skipping out on my other exams. I don't see the point and maybe they can back up that decision for me. I'll go to class next week but not after that, unless the suggest I go to the exams. Ahh well. In 301, you have to pass that assignment to do the fieldwork next semester and I won't be doing that anyway so it was nice getting an easy way out. I can't wait for anthropology.

I might have mentioned that I want to make covered button earrings. I had an idea about making them into a bracelet. I might be able to make an Etsy shop with my store name as "gone to neverland" and sell things on there. How cool. Since seeing Holly's creations and her market stalls I've been inspired to have my own business in craft and maybe I can have that. I think it'd be so fun and extra money on the side. I'm going to do it. I'll have to make a banner and chose my font and get some cards printed to put my earrings through. Holly can help me with all of this and I think she'll be proud.

I want to do more photography. I need to go and get fit. Lots to do.

Sewing machine please

This year I want to get a sewing machine and make wonderful things. I was thinking in the car on the way home about me as a person and what I don't like about myself. I find it hard letting my guard down for one, and I get angry too much. I get angry the most at work and also driving, but not so much driving any more as I've stopped speeding. I didn't really speed but just drove hard/fast and I've quit that. I got a few speeding tickets and $80 is not worth it. I like being less car angry. I feel better. Work is different. Sometimes I hate the customers and other times I love them. Yesterday I had a great shift. Everyone was lovely and I felt so happy there. Even today was good. It's nice not being angry. Anyway, what I was thinking in the car was about making an anti-anger package. I want to sew a lovely big envelope, twice to three times the size of a normal one, in lovely fabrics like Freckled Nest's pin cussion, and have pictures of Yorick and I, my friends, and pretty things, maybe even some bubbles as my friend Amy says she brings them out when she's feeling a little down. That's why I want to get a sewing machine. I'd also like to make some skirts and get patterns for those. I want to be more creative.

On an exercise note, I have really enjoyed going back to the gym this week. Tuesday night, Wednesday night and Thursday morning have gotten me back in the mood for a regular gym routine. I'm still recovering a little with soreness as my body isn't as used to it as it was in before Christmas but I'm so proud I went back and I love how I'm loving being back there. I'm going on Sunday morning for a class because today I'm missing it! I never thought I would have. After this month is up they're putting out a new timetable. I'm excited to see it.

Sometimes I think about how abruptly I finish my blog posts. I don't really finish them, I just stop writing...