So much to say

Looking back over my last entry, I must say that the Roller Derby was fun! I did get McDonalds, naughty me, but being a bit sick made that food help. The Derby wasn't the fastest game, as Jess told me, but it was interesting watching it all the same.

I have finished lectures for my first unit but have 3 assignments to hand in over the next few months. I love that there are no exams. It's a brilliant way to organise the diploma. Today I will try and finish the first one and hand it in early as it's due on a Friday and why would I want to go out there for 10 minutes when it takes an hour each way to get there? I'll hand it in on the Tuesday like Dana will. She's a smartie that one. Next week we start the next unit. I'm sure I'll like it but it's just that there is so much to read as well as do the assignments. I'll never get it all done. I guess that's okay because there will be time after the last 3 week unit is done to finish those readings...

Last night I went and met Amy and we had dumplings and some spring rolls for dinner. Then we went and got some 5 Seeds cider and went back to her place and hung out. I love hanging out with her. She inspires me and makes me laugh and like myself. Once I get a place I am definitely going to start working on my health and fitness. She has an amazing room. She has a double bunk-bed and instead of sleeping on the top she has the mattress underneath on the ground and has made it like a cubby, with lights and fabric draped all around. I might do that when I get a room, but I might not. I was telling her how I am not very improvisational and that I have to see things to get inspired. I'm no good at thinking amazing things up. So in a way, the cubby would be awesome to have but a nice bed might be nice also. I'll think about it. It might be hard to put fairy lights up otherwise.

On Monday night I went over to Marie's and we applied for 3 places online. Now it's a bit redundant as what we'll do is print the applications out and take them filled out and prepared to the real estate agent there as one of the receptionists Marie talked to frowned upon filling out forms before having seen the property. So that is what we'll do. We're going to meet up at 330 today and fill out more forms, haha, then go see the first of 3 houses scheduled for the week. We have one today, one tomorrow and one Friday. Busy! I hope they are all fantastic so we can get them all then decide. I'm not sure if Elizabeth will be our third.

After that, I met Kirsten and Tom and we saw the last Girl with a dragon tattoo movie, oh, The Girl Who Played With Fire, that's what it's called! I keep forgetting. I wished I could have seen it with mum as per our tradition but never mind. I liked seeing how it ended. I had had a big dinner at Marie's so I was very full at the movie, even though I got popcorn and an ice cream. Hmm.

What else is new? Not a lot. I tried a wig on at Amy's. She shaved her hair for the Leukemia fundraiser I think it was so she and her bf Cal went and got her a wig. It's long and pink! Hehe. I hate my hair right now so I think I'll get a normal one and try that sometimes. I also need a bike. Shopping!

I need to apply for some jobs. I had best do that now.

Elizabeth and drinks on the Rooftop

I had a great night last night. I met up with Elizabeth and she is a beautiful, crazy ball of energy. She's so confident and I love that. We had drinks at the Rooftop bar on Swanston St. and it was amazing up there. We chatted to a family of Americans last night [Fred the dad, and two of his kids Alexis and Michael]. They bought us lots of drinks. Sangria! I'd never had it before and had avoided it because of the red wine factor but it was actually nice! Cold red wine is the best way to have it in my opinion. So we stayed there for ages, talked about Australian vs New Zealand vs USA vs UK stereotypes and ways of saying things. Then one of the girls Elizabeth is staying with came by and then we went to a party in Prahran then to their place not far from there. Elizabeth and I went to a few places along the way before bed. This morning we went and had breakfast a few blocks away then she went to check out some houses. She's really desperate for a place as she's a flight attendant and isn't here much so it's stressing her out after having been looking for the last month. I understand but I'm not that that stage yet. I would love a place because I'm starting to feel I shouldn't be at Kirsten's for too much longer. Arr it's so hard. So I was feeling sick all Thursday and Friday but now I'm feeling better, just a little hung over. I missed the Mission volunteering on Thursday but on Friday me and Monica and Beth went to the Victorian Collections training session for the cataloging system they use and it was lots of fun. Now I'm heading into town to meet Jess and tonight we're going to watch a Roller Derby game! Super exciting. It'll be my first real one. Eep! I might get some McDonalds on the way. Naughty but it's one of those days. Soon I have to get running shoes and start training! Got to get fit and lose my excess weight and fat. Arr it's annoying me. Right, better go actually.

Errands and 31*

Oh my gosh it has just hit 31 degrees and I have errands to run. Luckily, last night and today the fan has been on in Kirsten's room and it is just wonderful. I'm afraid to go outside but I need to get --

+ Cleaning supplies for the house. That's my job as a current household member, temporary or not.
+ New stockings and those knee-length shorts to wear while exercising.
+ Running shoes.
+ Cereal, marge, and replacement Mars Bars for Kirsten as I stupidly had hers as a snack.
+ More highlighters from Office Works and while I'm there, an ecobutton.

I don't particularly want to leave the house but I do need to. I'll be too busy with Uni tomorrow and will just want to go straight home afterward. Also, I have stopped studying because running out of highlighter ink is putting a mental block on my abilities. Arr.

I might leave it another hour and slowly get ready. If I overexert myself I'll lose my energy, especially in this kind of head. I can't stand the heat.

Weekend re-cap and my first day

Wow. I haven't written since Friday. A lot and not a lot has happened since then. I'll start with Friday night.

Friday night was the houses combined house-warming and for Kirsten's birthday as well as a celebration of the other housemates birthdays which were a month or two ago. Lots of people came and I had a bit of fun, but most of the time I just wanted to leave but I couldn't. I went out and socialised though and had some nice enough chats. I like Kirsten's friend Tina a lot. She's lovely. Towards the end I had a really nice drink with The Germans, as Kirsten calls them, Kat and Lena. Kat is with Stefan and Lena is their friend visiting. They made an awesome drink with muddled lime, 1 shot of vodka, 1 shot of lime cordial, and lots of crushed ice. I had two of those and didn't leave enough time to get sober before I went bed. I wasn't drunk, but feeling buzzed. I was hungover in the morning. Not fun. It sucked because I got into bed at probably 2 or 3 or something but couldn't sleep because I was worried someone would come into Kirsten's room with me in there and harass me. I put my heavy suitcase in front of the door but I was still a bit paranoid and completely aware of what was going on despite trying to nap. It didn't. So Saturday I was very tired.

On Saturday we cleaned the house. I was meant to go to a trial at Kamel but was feeling sick, and had been a bit sick, so I called up and canceled. I haven't heard anything from them since then. Hmm. I don't mind though because it will be better to get a job in the suburb I end up living in. It's easier that way. If I ever find a place to live that is. I want to live alone if possible. After the cleaning, Kirsten and I went to The Great Northern nearby for some chips and a coke/diet coke. The others joined us [Sandi, the other housemate, and her new bf Nick, Stefan and Lena] then Tom [Kirsten's bf] and two of his friends came along. We didn't stay too long. Home after that and a pretty early night. Kirsten stayed over at Tom's for the night so I got the comfy bed. I've been staying on the floor on lots of blankets and a thin camping blow up mattress, which is fine, but the bed is comfier. I have it again tonight too.

Sunday I slept in and it was bad because I found it hard to sleep last night. Once I got up and had some breakfast I went into the City. I wanted to find a backpack for Uni, and I did. I went to this Traveler and Souvenir shop and got a simple backpack for $20. Great! It does the trick. I also went to the National Gallery of Victoria. I didn't see all of it as it was an extremely hot day so I will go back another time and see the rest. I wanted to go to the Botanical Gardens but once again the heat zapped me of any energy so I went to the Victoria Gardens just across the road from the NGV. Then I went back to Kisten's. Later that night she went for a run with a friend and I came along and rode her old bike. It was nice and refreshing as the weather was still nice but the wind in my face as I rode was beautiful. I loved it. We went around this pretty big circuit twice not far from the house. Then I tried to get to sleep and failed.

Today I had my first day of Uni! I thought I was going to be late but the tram driver was awesome. They kept dinging the bell to make cars get out of the way. I still don't understand why on earth they should be allowed to drive over the tram tracks the same way the tram goes. It's ridiculous! It's totally insane and I think it should be dis-aloud. Anyway, I got to the classroom and the lecture hadn't started yet but almost everyone was there. I sat in the back. The lecturer introduced herself and we all did the same. The other students have amazing backgrounds and at least two did a Bachelor of Archaeology at LaTrobe. I'm so jealous. Maybe there's a postgraduate course in archaeology I can do. I'd love that. Then we got into the lecture. Well we read through the unit outline then got into the lecture. We have 3 assignments, one of which I have done part of a draft for tonight, and I'm worried about the last two. The first one should be easy enough to knock off, but it's the others I'll struggle with I believe. I'll get some help. This unit isn't all in the classroom though, which is exciting. We went to the Deakin Art Gallery in the afternoon and will be doing similar excursions on almost each other day we're there. We have 6 days and on 5 of them we'll be out in the field. Pretty exciting. We had a look in the small Deakin gallery then went outside and saw the many sculptures around the campus. Yet another hot day so I struggled. I went on the computers for a bit after the 'lecture' ended then went home. Got off the tram and caught the train but I'm not sure it was much of a time-saver, although the tram was going extremely slow. Kirsten made a too-spicy-for-me curry and I did some homework!

Tomorrow should be good. I need to get up and leave earlier to be able to get myself something to eat for lunch. There wasn't much available at Uni and I'll have to go to the cafe early to secure an apple and cinnamon muffin. Today I got a blueberry one and it was nice but not the same. I want to buy a salad or something so I'll have to go in a lot earlier than I did today. That can be done. I didn't like the stress. I can't remember where we're going tomorrow afternoon but it should be good. Then I'll have Thai Culinary for dinner. Mmm.

There are a few more houses I need to have a look at online. There is a bit of a crappy looking one in Richmond. The ad says it's good for older people or something but I may as well take a look. You can grab the keys from the real estate and go to town. There is one in Elwood that looks nice but Kirsten says that's ages away. I remember going to St Kilda with Amy in 2005 and loved the area but I seem to recall that Elwood wasn't that far away from there and the tram ride didn't seem to take all that long. I guess we'll see. Sarah knows a guy [Nick Cupit] who is moving to Melbourne soon and looking for someone to live with. He went to our high school and apparently knows me as I have served him at thebeach, not that I remember, but Sarah and I talked on the phone about it and us living together. I'd rather my own place, at least I think so, but I might get lonely. Then again I might feel resentment living with others, regretful. There's no need to be scared. I'll be busy enough and can go and see my friends when I feel sad. I don't want to impose on Kirsten and her flatmates for too much longer. It's been a week already! Crazy. Hopefully I get the Hawthorn house for $150 a week in Mary St but I've started looking at what's closer to $200 but still under. The Elwood one is $165 I think. Hmm. I'll see what happens.

6 Week Running plan

Running for beginners.

"Haven't run since middle school gym? No sweat. This women's workout plan, designed by fitness guru Amy Dixon, will help you build from a walk to a run. By the end, you'll be able to run 30 minutes without stopping--and you'll be showing off a rock hard body under your running shorts.

Do all walking and running at an intensity level that feels challenging but comfortable. Feel free to switch the rest day, but make sure you do one day of rest each week. And don't forget to stretch after each workout.

The best part? You can print the entire workout plan to take wherever you go."

Week One

Monday One Walk 10 minutes. Next 6 minutes alternate running 1 minute and walking 1 minute. Walk 4 minutes. Stretch.

Tuesday "Tone Zone" Strength Training Program. Stretch.

Wednesday Walk 10 minutes. Next 8 minutes alternate running 1 minute and walking 1 minute. Walk 2 minutes. Stretch.

Thursday "Rock Solid Abs" Strength Training Program. Stretch.

Friday Walk 8 minutes. Next 10 minutes alternate running 1 minute and walking 1 minute. Walk 2 minutes. Stretch.

Saturday Rest Day

Sunday Walk 6 minutes. Next 12 minutes alternate running 2 minutes and walking 2 minutes. Walk 2 minutes. Stretch.

Week Two Monday Walk 10 minutes. Next 10 minutes alternate running 1 minute and walking 1 minute. Walk 5 minutes. Stretch Tuesday "Tone Zone" Strength Training Program. Stretch. Wednesday Walk 10 minutes. Next 12 minutes alternate running 1 minute and walking 1 minute. Walk 3 minutes. Stretch. Thursday "Rock Solid Abs" Strength Training Program. Stretch. Friday Walk 10 minutes. Next 12 minutes alternate running 2 minutes and walking 1 minute. Walk 3 minutes. Stretch. Saturday Rest Day Sunday Walk 8 minutes. Next 15 minutes alternate running 2 minutes and walking 1 minute. Walk 2 minutes. Stretch. Week Three Monday Walk 10 minutes. Next 10 minutes alternate running for 1 minute and walking for 1 minute. Walk 10 minutes. Stretch. Tuesday "Tone Zone" Strength Training Program. Stretch. Wednesday Walk 10 minutes. Next 15 minutes, alternate running for 1 minute and walking for 1 minute. Walk 5 minutes. Stretch. Thursday "Rock Solid Abs" Strength Training Program. Stretch. Friday Walk 10 minutes. Next 15 minutes alternate running 2 minutes with walking 1 minute. Walk 5 minutes. Stretch. Saturday Rest Day Sunday Walk 5 minutes. Next 21 minutes, alternate running for 2 minutes and walking for 1 minute. Walk 4 minutes. Stretch. Week Four Monday Walk 5 minutes. Next 20 minutes alternate running for 3 minutes and walking for 1 minute. Walk 5 minutes. Stretch. Tuesday "Lean Machine" Strength Training Program. Stretch. Wednesday Walk 4 minutes. Next 24 minutes, alternate running for 5 minute and walking for 1 minute. Walk 2 minutes. Stretch. Thursday "Lean Machine" Strength Training Program. Strength Training Program. Stretch. Friday Walk 4 minutes. Next 24 minutes alternate running 5 minutes with walking 1 minute. Walk 2 minutes. Stretch. Saturday Rest Day Sunday Walk 5 minutes. Next 22 minutes, alternate running for 8 minutes and walking for 3 minutes. Walk 3 minutes. Stretch. Week Five Monday Walk 5 minutes. Run 10 minutes. Walk 5 minutes. Run 5 minutes. Walk 5 minutes. Stretch. Tuesday "No Gear Here" Strength Training Program. Stretch. Wednesday Walk 5 minutes. Run 12 minutes. Walk 3 minutes. Run 5 minutes. Walk 5 minutes. Stretch. Thursday "Lean Machine" Strength Training Program. Strength Training Program. Stretch. Friday Walk 10 minutes. Run 15 minutes. Walk 5 minutes. Stretch Saturday Rest Day Sunday Walk 6 minutes. Run 18 minutes. Walk 6 minutes. Stretch. Week Six Monday Walk 5 minutes. Run 20 minutes. Walk 5 minutes. Stretch. Tuesday "No Gear Here" Strength Training Program. Stretch. Wednesday Walk 5 minutes. Run 22 minutes. Walk 3 minutes. Stretch. Thursday "Lean Machine" Strength Training Program. Strength Training Program. Stretch. Friday Walk 3 minutes. Run 25 minutes. Walk 2 minutes. Stretch Saturday Rest Day Sunday Run 30 minutes. Stretch. Can't wait to get stuck into this one! I would love to be a runner. This is a great way to do it and keep me on a track to getting better. Yay!

My customised weight-loss plan from Jillian Michaels

I can't wait to get to Melbourne and start my new exercise regime. I want to get a treadmill and I can do that for say $10 a month. I want to get into the habit of bicycle riding and walking and running and doing aerobic dance classes as well as eating better. I can't wait to eat better. I will change my life!

1. Sweat

"You're a Pear - but you can pare down!

Like all pears, you tend to store fat in your lower body, so you're probably carrying extra weight around your hips, buttocks, and thighs. Anyone can be a pear, but this shape is more common among women, and it actually evolved because fat stored in these areas aids in fertility and breast-feeding. It's an interesting fact — but I know as well as anyone that this type of fat is harder to lose.

Not to worry! I have exercises that will target your fat storage areas. My personalized program will help you alter your pear shape. But you got to get a grip — you can only win against genetics up to a certain point. Once you understand this, you can let go of unreachable goals and replace them with real ones.

I'll create your personalized exercise program based on the days you prefer to work out, the goals you set for yourself, and the exercises you enjoy. After all, if you enjoy your workout, it's easier to stick to.

I'll encourage you to:

+ Have fun aerobic dancing! Depending on intensity, you could burn 500 calories an hour.
+ Cycle — indoors or out. At 13 mph, you could burn 600 calories an hour.
+ Power walk. You can do it anywhere, and at 4 mph, you’ll be burning at least 250 calories an hour.
+ Run indoors or out. All you need are good running shoes. And at 5 mph, you’ll burn over 400 calories an hour."

2. Science

"You're a balanced oxidizer.

Because you crave fruit and bread as well as salty foods, cheeses, and meats, you may be a balanced oxidizer. This is the fancy term for your metabolic rate. It simply means that you need equal proportions of protein, carbs, and fat to process the nutrients in your food optimally, and to produce and use the resulting energy. Lucky you — your diet is the easiest to follow! You feel your best on a diet that incorporates a wide range of foods, and your ideal macronutrient ratio is 40% carbs, 30% protein, and 30% fat.

But the bottom line is, you have to burn more calories than you take in. That's it. And to really do this successfully, you have to eat the ideal diet for your body and metabolism. Believe me — I've struggled with this myself. And I've done a lot of research and work to figure out my ideal diet. And now I want to share my findings with you. I have recipes and snacks that will help you eat better for your body type. And I have secrets and tricks to make it easier. (I didn't say "easy.")

3. Self

"1. Avoid dangerous situations. STOP driving by the doughnut shop on your way to work. When you go out to dinner, ask the waiter not to bring bread to your table.

2. Get a hobby. Start taking your dog on longer walks. Fix up your attic. By focusing on positive activities, you'll find yourself becoming more relaxed, happier, and thinner!

3. Curb mindless eating. Don't eat while standing up, and don't skip meals. Brush your teeth after every meal and snack. Food never seems as appealing when you have that toothpaste taste in your mouth."

* I was just thinking about the toothpaste thing the other day! I hate eating after I've brushed my teeth and I thought that if I do that when I want to eat but am not hungry then I can stop eating unnecessarily. It'll work too.

My dreams would be great right now

I just went and saw Tangled and loved it! I was thinking that I was hearing Mandy Moore's voice but it was different at times. I guess you really can change your voice! I really, really enjoyed it. I am looking forward to watching one of the movies I bought yesterday. I think that will be good.

I have gained weight and it's really getting to me. I feel fat and I am definitely bigger than I was. I now weigh 70kg and that's not good. I've never gone past 65kg and to be going up further is horrible. I shouldn't have been living at Margate for so long. I'm not blaming that, it's all my fault, but I should have been out there making my own routines and cooking for myself and planning things better. I will be doing all of that soon enough. Fatty fat fat fat. I want to exercise everyday. I want to eat well and I want to feel great about myself. It'll be great achieving my goals. I really want to have my own house with my future husband, to be settled in the cutest cottage in the UK including Ireland somewhere, but that dream is a bit far off. I still want it all the same.

This is the year I will get thin and toned. This is the year I will find love. I am determined.

Once again I am so glad I'll be home tomorrow. I am super sick of it here in this back packers. I am ready for colder weather and routines I know. I want comforts and to feel like I don't have to impress the world because I'm hating my whole existence right now. I'm not feeling worthy or wonderful in my own skin. I want to feel both of those things and I believe they are connected to the man I'll eventually marry. Sigh. Where is he?

A quiet Saturday night

A recipe to try --

Spaghetti Squash Spaghetti

Mum has almost finished making some maxi-skirts for me and I love the grey one. The black one clings a bit because I'm a bit chubby around the tummy and thighs at the moment despite being a size 10-12 [12 on the bottom half and 12-12 on the top half] but this is all going to change once I get my own place and start everything afresh. Fitness and healthy eating are a must. Jillian Michaels will be proud!

In not so comforting news, all of my Sydney plans are on hold until I find out whether or not I've been accepted to the Uni on the 19th or even in early February. I can't apply for accommodation as they need my student details, which I don't have, and I have to wait to do the same with Centrelink. It's quite annoying. Some houses might not need me to be a student but mum said some might be reserved for students. I'll see how I go. I guess I really have to wait until the 19th in case I don't get in as it's a real possibility. Drat this all. Well I want to go over anyway so I'll apply for houses ... wait, if I don't get in straight away then I can stay a little longer and spend time with Jan and Fra before I head off. It all depends on the 19th. Damn it.

Going over to my quarters to watch Bicentenial Man. I'm not sure I've seen it before but it'll be decent. Last night I watched My Boy Jack with Daniel Radcliffe. Not bad! Very war oriented but that's fine.

Make your dreams come true

Tonight I watched Because I Said So on TV and loved it. It's such a cute movie. One day I'll buy it and watch it again. I am very particular about watching movies. I like to hear everything, get it the first time, and I hate being with people who talk through movies, like my sister, when all I want to do is concentrate and get the flow of the thing. My sister and I are both Scorpio's so we can't spend too much time together or we get crazy at each other and I felt that tonight. We clash and when I am around her too much I get more and more Scorpio. That annoys me about myself a bit because I'm trying to be less stereotypically Scorpio, not so moody for example, and she, bless her, sometimes makes that hard. I'm glad the movie is over. Now I can calm down.

I love my dad. He's great. He has a lot of weight on his tummy but he's tall and skinny and correctly proportioned everywhere else. Mum said she's tried to cook healthier but that he doesn't want to do anything about the weight. He just came into the kitchen and got a margarined slice of bread, something I would do, and it made me think of the weight. I'm experiencing something similar and can't wait to get stuck into Jillian Michael's 30 day shred and it made me feel sad for pappa. He probably doesn't want me to feel sad for him though, as I've noticed people don't, so I'll keep it to myself. I feel bad repeating these thoughts here but didn't not want to write them. I'm sure he's content. It's so hard to change though. I've wanted many times to get fit and toned and smaller but haven't done it. I am determined to do it though. I keep thinking about how in this short lifetime I have been blessed with I have to do everything I can to make it fantastic. I want to do so many things like travelling and partaking in extreme activities [some of which I have already done, namely bungy jumping and sky diving] such as para-gliding and flying in a hot air balloon and I've learned a lesson. Getting fit and making sure I have the best, healthiest body I can is top on my list. I want to be thin, but not anorexic, and what I'm trying, quite badly, to say is that if I want it I have to go out and get it because if I don't I'll regret it. I don't need anymore regrets [I don't have that many...] so I've realised that what I want won't just happen, I have to make it happen. This year I'm going to make it happen.

An action plan

Next year when life is better I'll do a 2011 recap and it'll be fantastic. I know this year is going to be great. I can't wait for it to take off when I move to Sydney. January is going to be good. Jan and Fra are coming for a visit, I have Fronting MONA, the Maritime, packing and moving to Sydney, and experiencing the trials [I'm sure] of finding a house and getting settled. I wish I could live alone and slowly fill all rooms of the house with my things but I'm not sure that will be possible. I'll get used to living with people, plus I won't be so lonely. It won't be forever and I can always move. I truly believe this year I'll find true love. I'll get thin and fit and do all the things I want to change in my life. It'll be a great year.

In the next week I need to --

+ organise my written references from Alison [thebeach] and Rona [the Maritime]

+ apply for jobs in Sydney

+ go to Centrelink and get the ball rolling with future payments

+ start work on assignment 2 [and 3] for Fronting MONA

+ visit Holly

+ possibly make an appointment for my first tattoo

+ contact Kirsten Long's friend Katie about her plans for Sydney, and

+ look into photography courses in Sydney.

I have lots of little things to do, especially with the move creeping closer and closer, so if I can make sure I keep lists of all the things that need doing then I'll be on top of it all. It'll get me into the routine of making lists and getting myself organised. Wonderful!

Goodbye and good riddance 2010

Daily Horoscope --

Although you can certainly handle having a lot of alone time, Scorpio, and you are known to be quite independent, you are also quite the social animal. But even if you don't have any exciting parties to attend or any other plans for New Year's Eve, you can still enjoy the evening. You should take a moment tonight to at least recognize and acknowledge everything you've accomplished this year. You probably feel a sense of anticipation for what lies ahead in the coming year, and a symbolic toast to your future is definitely in order -- even if you're in bed before the fireworks go off at midnight.

I am rather excited for the two events I'm going to this evening. I'm starting off at Grace 2's house for a gathering then heading off to Emma's for a party. I have some alcohol but am struggling with what to wear. I got a dress from Melbourne a few years ago but it's too short for me to feel comfortable in it so I might drop by Big W and see if they have a black petticoat/slip. Wearing it with my regular black work skirt [which I always wear even if I'm not at work] looks a bit funny but better than not wearing it. I have to organise a back-up outfit now too. Drat this.

When I read this horoscope this morning I tried to think about what I've accomplished this year. I'm struggling even now. I guess I know what career I want to be in. I've spent time doing the things I want to do and am about to embark on a great adventure to Sydney. I know what kind of relationship I want to be in and what to avoid. I feel more like myself too. It's been a strange year and I am so glad 2011 is finally here. I believe it will be fantastic. Here's to 2011.

Changing my lifestyle

Next year I'm going to get thin. I mean it this time. Next year is the year I finally get fit and toned and smaller. I want to lose 10 kilos and with plenty of help and a new eating regime I can do it. I imagined myself thinner last night and liked it. I can do it and will. I have to do the things I want in this life otherwise they will never come true. If I want something I have to go out and get it. It's not just going to happen for me. It'll be worth the struggle and it's about time I did something instead of being so lazy. I'm going to change my lifestyle!

Christmas Day

Daily Horoscopes [Scorpio] I found particularly funny and relevant --

Christmas Eve

Cookies and chocolates and peppermint candies, oh my! Egg nog and sparkling cider and hot cocoa, too! This is the time of year to indulge. And you should too, Scorpio. Don't worry too much about your waistline right now. It's always wise to be healthy of course, but sometimes you prevent yourself from truly participating in joyfulness because you worry too much when you should be more carefree. Let go of those worries for a few days, and experience some lighthearted fun. It's time to take a bit of time to really enjoy yourself. You deserve it.

Christmas Day

Be careful about drinking too much wine with your dinner this evening, Scorpio. And watch out for all that fat in those buttery mashed potatoes. And cookies ... well, you can just forget it. If you indulge too much today you will then have to put a health and fitness requirement into your list of New Year's resolutions. But wait a minute ... if you want to improve something about yourself -- whether it's your weight, or your muscle tone, or even less obvious qualities -- you have to make it a long-term commitment. So enjoy the day, and change your lifestyle, not just your list of resolutions.

I do want to make getting fit a long-term commitment and I will do it whilst in Sydney. A change of state and a change of routine is what I need to make it happen.

Had a lovely Christmas breakfast and now James and George and Etta have arrived! Off to celebrate.

Making the Cut

I'm looking forward to starting Jillian Michaels program. Before that I'm going to have to sort out all the recipes and adjust the 30 day meal plan that's in the book as I don't like a lot of food normal people do. Nuts and red meat are two examples of this. It'll be a nice distraction from all the boredom. I'm also going to do daily blog updates about it and take a before and after pictures, as is suggested in the book, and document it completely. I'm excited about it.

5 things to do by the time I turn 25 -- A post inspired by Katie Kukulka

5 things to do before I turn 25.

1. Get on my career path.

I am so glad I have finally figured out what I want to do, and that is to be a museum curator. It makes sense as throughout high school I really loved watching shows on mummies and tombs and ancient civilisations. In SOSE I loved the history but I never really though about doing anything related to that at Uni. Sometimes I wish I had figured it out earlier [to tell the truth I didn't figure it out, I went to a career counselor at Uni and he suggested it when I mentioned I was interested in anthropology and archaeology], done a more relevant degree, but I am where I am and it's too late to start heading in this direction. It's going to be a fascinating journey. I have already started volunteering at the Maritime Museum, have been accepted to Deakin, am waiting to hear back from Sydney, and once I know where I'm heading I'll volunteer more and stick my head into the text books. The Spring/Summer school unit I'm doing at the Art School is super relevant and will give me even more experience. Once I have a diploma in museum studies I'll be able to apply for jobs, work in the field, then do my masters part time. I want to travel the world and work in museums, do some archaeology volunteering perhaps, and work in a field I love. I hate waiting to find out whether or not I'll be accepted to Sydney as I can't make plans as to where I'll move to but knowing what I want to do is great and I'm already on the path. I just want to start the diploma and truly be on the path.

2. Get into shape.

After years of wishing I was thin and confident enough to wear jeans with no skirt over the top or bathers with no board shorts, now is the time to kick myself into shape. I am going to religiously follow Jillian Michaels' Making the Cut next year when I'm in my own home and can have no distractions like other foods and can use the whole kitchen worry-free unlike at my parents' house. I want to be able to focus solely on this quest and make it last longer than the 30 days so I can keep my newly rocking body. When I'm in my new home, I want to rent a treadmill and use it everyday. I want to take with my my exercise DVDs and not just look at them while feeling guilty. I want to feel confident in my own skin and realise I have the best body I'll ever have. I want to be in the best shape of my life and stay that way.

3. Get organised.

This is something I have always craved but never quite mastered. It can come and go in waves when inspiration hits but I want it to stick. At work I'm organised but at home I'm lazy, I'm messy, I feel guilty and do nothing about it. I want to keep my clothes and whole house tidy and organised. I want to keep to a cooking and grocery shopping menu/list. I want to have an exercise regime and, one again, stick to it. I want to be super organisational girl, like a superhero. I want to stop the laziness, have my to-do lists going, and get things done. I want to be busy with Uni and volunteering and work that I will have to keep on top of things. I don't want to slip with this. It's important to me and I will succeed!

4. Have my own home [rented but mine].

I can't wait till I move out of my parents' [still shocked I'm here at age 24 but it happens] and have my own home, to set it up just how I like over time and get into the best habits of my young life. I want to come home and be so proud of myself, how adult I will have become, so independent, and of that fact that I'll be living my own life. I can't wait to get handed a set of keys and realise that I did this. It will be a great day.

5. Find my one true love.

Around the age of 25, I hope I will have found my one true love but it's things like this that you can't plan. I just hope it doesn't take years to find him because I don't want to be too young before we start having a family. I want to be in love. I want to share my life with someone and have them share theirs with me. I want to be on the same level with him and be in a partnership, not a one-sided battle for involvement. I want to feel secure and blessed that I have found the perfect match for me. I want to plan holidays and the future with him and feel fulfilled. I can't wait for love.

So they are the major things I want to achieve before or around the age of 25. Thank you Katie for for inspiring this post and getting me thinking about what I want to achieve. I need to kick myself into gear!

Monday

I was walking down the drive way to get the mail not long ago and I thought about how great it'll be to have my own home in Sydney. I truly can't wait till I move there [I'll be sad if I don't get it] and do it all myself. My house is going to be so cute. Over time it'll get full of furniture and my things. Lots of fish, flowers and art is my goal. I'll be starting with the SARK posters I'm expecting in the mail any time soon. I'll also get something from The Picture Gallery. I love that gallery. It has beautiful artworks. I want a huge one.

I want to buy more museum/archaeology books but should wait until Wednesday till I get paid again. I don't want to keep digging into my savings while I'm trying to save for next year. I also want to get my Portman's lay-by off lay-by and put on lay-by a beautiful white maxi-dress they have in their Summer catalogue. Next year my wardrobe will keep getting fabulous.

I want to write to Danielle from Sometimes Sweet and ask her for some help and advice on getting the lazy out of me. I want to be as organised in my home life as I can be at work. I just don't know how to make things stick. I really want to change my fitness level next year for a start. Next year will be a huge year of change. It'll be fantastic. I can't wait to meet my future husband. Reading Danielle's notable post on how she met her husband Hank made me wish so hard to have something as wonderful as that. They both knew they were meant to be right from the beginning. I want that.

Work tonight and a menu tasting. The Maritime tomorrow and the possibility of attending the Annual General Meeting for the Maritime at the Tasmanian Museum and Art Gallery. I'm "on call" at work so hopefully I won't be needed and be able to go to this meeting. It'll be great for my career path. I'll probably go hang at Sarah's or Holly's after I finish at the Maritime at 5 before this meeting at 730. It'll be good to hear more about how museums are run. I wonder what kind of work I'll be doing with Rona tomorrow. Maybe more conservation and putting things into the system. At any rate I'll learn a lot.

Got to get off the computer and take Katie for a walk, do something productive. I need to do my covered buttons. I want to get the right amount of each kind made, then I can go to a market like Holly does. Then again I want to make some of the rice balls too. One day I'll get there.

Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred

I just bought Jillian Michaels' book Making the Cut: The 30-day Diet and Fitness Plan for the Strongest, Sexiest You for $13.37 off the Book Depository. I just got the DVD in the mail today so I think once I'm in Sydney and have lots of space in front of the TV and 30 days in a row to dedicate to it I shall start. I don't want to start now and stop because of work and such interruptions. It will be part of the exercise regime I plan to implement once I'm there and settled in my new home. I can't wait to have my own home!

Down, down, down

So I hung out with Andi last night. We had a bit chat about relationships and she is sure I'll meet my future husband. I love that she used the same terms I used. "Future husband." That's how I always think of him. Lately I've been sad because I hate my life right now and can't wait for 2011 when it will all be better. I want to know everything will turn out as I hope it will, although some things don't happen for a reason. I just miss being in a relationship, despite knowing it's for the best, and want my future now. I want a preview of my future family and life but I know that's impossible. I'm just sad because I don't have much going on right now and it's hard being alone, especially living at my parents and waiting to hear where I get accepted to. It's just hard.

I do love that I'm volunteering for the Maritime though. It's special and getting me to where I need to go. I'm looking forward to my session there on Monday. Tuesday will be busy with the Melbourne Cup races on at Elwick, and I might even have to work that night [possibly both], and I am hoping for more work at thebeach to get me money and keep me occupied. It's too late to find another job with only 3 months to go [I wanted to apply for the job at Video City. It closes on the 2nd of November so I still have time ... but is it pointless? Maybe I should anyway and mention in the cover letter that I'm moving and hoping for a transfer, if they have Video City in Sydney or Melbourne. I know they have Blockbuster] so I'll have to get enough work at thebeach and the occasional day at Relish. I've saved $1200 already, will hopefully get some from my car, and put away $100 a week at least, hopefully more like at least $150 and closer to $200. It all depends on how much work I get. Sigh.

I am really hating feeling so down. It's been like this for the last few months, after I was done healing after the break up, when I was ready to get back out there and work, work, work. Unfortunately that didn't stick and I'm ready to be active but don't have the opportunity in the places I want to be. I'm sad and I don't like it. Once December comes and Jan and Fra arrive I think things will be better. I always enjoy Christmas and family time. I'll be working a lot more around then I think because thebeach will get busy. I'm not too fussed about New Year celebrations as I'll probably be working. I wouldn't mind a drink though. Hopefully December will give me the best news of the year. Then it will be January. Great weather, and I can finally start making some concrete plans concerning Uni. I can't wait. I hate being miserable but it's hard not to be. My life isn't all that great right now. Once I move back over to the shed it should pick up. I'll exercise more and feel like I have my own space. I can sit in the bean bag and read. I can focus on my covered buttons and even the idea of making rice balls. I think it will be better over there and it'll lift my spirits a bit. The band came over today [my brother's band, SNERT] so mum and I didn't go over and clean but will do tomorrow. That will do me some good.

I actually have to get ready for work now. I know I'll be happier once I'm there. One reason I don't like to go these days is because of Jarrod. I think he has a crush on me. He's 18 and is getting a bit too affectionate and I don't like it. It's like I'm leading him on. We're just friends but I don't even like seeing him because it can all be construed as leading him on. Ahhh. I don't need this. Hopefully I will be upstairs with Sara and out of his way so I don't have to talk to him much. I hate even thinking about it. Frustrating.

Organisational skills

I want to start making lists of --

+ Things to take to Sydney;

+ Recipes to be put in a book for next year;

+ Cleaning schedule possibilities for next year;

+ Workout schedule possibilities for next year;

and all the little things I want to do and be like drinking more water, especially when I wake up and before meals [as I read that helps you lose weight] and having a certain day of the week dedicated to organising my meals for the week. I want to ask Dannielle from Sometimes Sweet about a cleaning roster and if I can get some help writing such lists. I want to be as organised as I can. I'm organised when it comes to work, and am happy to clean there, but when it comes to my home life that's another story. I want to reinvent myself and get into great routines and not make excuses anymore. That annoys me about myself.

I just bought a new DVD as inspired by Dannielle's "Workout motivation" post -- Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred.

I love using these sorts of DVDs, especially at home alone. Once I move over to the shed I'll start getting back into these and my Leg Magic machine along with the new Gaiam and try to get into good habits before Sydney, or wherever I end up next year. I want to eat healthier and smarter, feel good about my body, good enough to be with my future husband intimately, and consider myself a new person. I hate that I'm lazy, I truly do, and next year will be the year I kick that bad habit for good. That is my plan.

I like the idea of doing early morning workouts as Dannielle suggested. I've always wanted to be an early morning person, and liked going to the gym for 9am-ish when I was living at Mt Nelson. It's a great way to start the day, to feel energised for the day, and not have to moan in the afternoon/evening when it's time to go to the gym or workout. I will conquer my body issues!

So, I will start working on these lists and possibly write them up as notable posts on the side of my blog [Dannielle has that on the side of hers] so I can easily go back to them. Having them so close I will get used to them and the idea of what it will be like once they are in practice. Dannielle's blog is my favourite daily stop and I love her organisational skills. I want to use them to make schedules for myself and be the person I want to be.

The year for fitness

I've been eating too much lately. My tummy has been getting bigger and it seriously looks like I'm pregnant and when you're not that's not a good sign. A new birth year means I should eat less and exercise more. Once I move over to the shed [little house] I'll be able to set up my Leg Magic and once I get this new Gaiam in the mail I'll be able to work out over there. I also have Shpresa and I always liked how that made me feel. Now I just need to get some heavier weights. I got some really small ones to start with from Big W and I'm sure they'll have more there. This birth year and 2011 is the year I'm going to kick myself into getting fit.

I want to lose 7-10 kilos. I'm 65 at the moment, unfortunately, and according to the "Calculate your ideal weight" application on Facebook I should be 57.6. With height 164cm your ideal weight is 57.6 based on the below formula -- (164cm - 100) - (10% x (164cm - 100)) = 57.6. I want to get fit, lose the tummy weight and extra fat around my ribs, and feel good about my body. I know I should give up on being really thin, but under 60 kilos would be fantastic. I also want to be fit mentally and physically before I meet someone new. I want to be in Sydney loving my life and my body and then I will truly be open to the right relationship. I'm not content in my body for it just yet. And that is a part of next years journey. For independence and to feel good in my own skin. I want a weekly meal and cleaning plan, to exercise regularly, and to improve myself. I'm also excited about volunteering a lot over there in museums while doing the course. I think it will be fantastic. I can't wait for my new life to begin.