Where is my lover

I'm watching the Valentines Day episode of One Tree Hill and it's making me cry because I have no one to love me, no boyfriend, and that's what I want so badly. I want to be loved and I want a companion. I want to have someone to come home to, to look forward to seeing everyday. I miss that. This episode has made me think of Yorick. I miss the fun we had together. I miss the holidays to New Zealand and Vanuatu. I keep thinking about the early days. I can't wait to have that again with someone who's actually right for me. Until then I'll be waiting.

Horoscopes and love and plans

If you are looking for instant gratification in a relationship, Scorpio, forget it. It's rare that two people meet and are instantly in sync in every way. The best friendships and romances take time, and they are certainly worth the effort. If you haven't yet found the one you are looking for, it may be because you believe you are owed that immediate spark. Or, if you ware involved in a relationship that is progressing slowly, please don't rush it. If you can be patient and forgiving, you will find that it was worth the wait.

I always thought that when I'd meet the guy I was to eventually marry that I'd know instantly, like Sometimes Sweet, but maybe that is rare and maybe it's not how it'll work out for me. It hasn't been like that in the past with the relationships I've been in but that's because they weren't the one. I do believe that the names of the people we choose are similar to the one we will end up with. The three relationships I've been in have all had similar name lengths and a common letter and I think that might mean I'll end up with a similar named guy. That's just my theory. Jeremy, for example, went out with me, Anna, a girl called Ang, and is now with a girl called Hannah. Similar! I like the patterns I see in relationship matches.

I forgot to put love on my list of wants. I want to find love and settle down as well as study, travel and have my own house. Love is the key to my ultimate happiness and it's hard being single right now but it's for the best. I have to be strong and independent and make sure I'm ready for the next one, the right one. Holly and I have been messaging and she said it's just a bit of panic and that I don't have to go on the day I thought I would so I have time to decide what to do. She said I can always move to Melbourne if Sydney doesn't work out. I think Sydney will work out though. It's a better city in my eyes and making it there would be greater than doing the same in Melbourne. It wouldn't feel as great in Melbourne. I don't like the city and it would feel like I'm following everyone else. It's a standard thing moving to Melbourne, no offence to my lovely friends who are living there or going to live there. It's just not for me. I believe I could make it work in Sydney. It's just sad that I might not get into the Uni there. There's still time.

Love in 2011

Lately I have been religiously checking my daily horoscope on my phone and last night after midnight I checked the one I got for today. I love it.

A new year is coming, Scorpio. And it comes with the chance to begin again. What will you write on your fresh slate? Hopefully you have learned a lesson or two about love, and about hanging on to a good relationship tight enough to show you care, but not so tight that you smother it. Even though we're only entering the second week of December, it's not too early to start composing your resolutions for 2011. Make your love life a priority for the coming year. It's your time to shine, and love should be at the top of your list of priorities.

Love and family, travel and my career are the three things on the top of my life list so this fits in perfectly. Whenever I think of next year I think of falling in love and finding that illusive soul-mate as well as starting the year with a fresh slate. After this year I need it. I am so excited. Panda [a work mate] and I were talking about relationships last night and I really miss being in one and having an ongoing dialogue with someone but at the same time it's good that I have this chance to rearrange my life and focus on what I want in it. I am glad I'm not with Yorick anymore and it's great because I didn't know I wasn't getting what I wanted. Thanks to starting the BSW, I now have the skills to thoroughly examine relationships or anything really even when I'm in it. I just have to look deep and figure out if I'm getting what I want.

I am amazed at how accurate this horoscope is concerning my desire for a fresh slate next year. I can't wait to go out on my own and make a life for myself. I want to have fresh berries in the fridge for breakfast and make banana bread again and eat healthily. I want to do Jillian Michaels' Making the Cut over 30 days and get my dream body. I want to find a great house for a great price not to far from Uni if possible [or in cycling distance] and study my butt off so I can get into my dream career. I want to meet the man I'm to marry and go on holidays with him and settle down. I want it all and next year is when I'm hoping it will happen.

I love imagining the house I'll have and over time getting furniture and filling the empty spaces. It will be great to have my own space and make it just how I want. I might have to get re-inspired by Carrie Bradshaw. I want to get vases and flowers and fish and I want to frame my posters and have a table by the front door for my bag and keys. I would love an outdoor table and 2 chair set and one of the wicker egg-shaped chairs. It'll be fantastic.

5 things to do by the time I turn 25 -- A post inspired by Katie Kukulka

5 things to do before I turn 25.

1. Get on my career path.

I am so glad I have finally figured out what I want to do, and that is to be a museum curator. It makes sense as throughout high school I really loved watching shows on mummies and tombs and ancient civilisations. In SOSE I loved the history but I never really though about doing anything related to that at Uni. Sometimes I wish I had figured it out earlier [to tell the truth I didn't figure it out, I went to a career counselor at Uni and he suggested it when I mentioned I was interested in anthropology and archaeology], done a more relevant degree, but I am where I am and it's too late to start heading in this direction. It's going to be a fascinating journey. I have already started volunteering at the Maritime Museum, have been accepted to Deakin, am waiting to hear back from Sydney, and once I know where I'm heading I'll volunteer more and stick my head into the text books. The Spring/Summer school unit I'm doing at the Art School is super relevant and will give me even more experience. Once I have a diploma in museum studies I'll be able to apply for jobs, work in the field, then do my masters part time. I want to travel the world and work in museums, do some archaeology volunteering perhaps, and work in a field I love. I hate waiting to find out whether or not I'll be accepted to Sydney as I can't make plans as to where I'll move to but knowing what I want to do is great and I'm already on the path. I just want to start the diploma and truly be on the path.

2. Get into shape.

After years of wishing I was thin and confident enough to wear jeans with no skirt over the top or bathers with no board shorts, now is the time to kick myself into shape. I am going to religiously follow Jillian Michaels' Making the Cut next year when I'm in my own home and can have no distractions like other foods and can use the whole kitchen worry-free unlike at my parents' house. I want to be able to focus solely on this quest and make it last longer than the 30 days so I can keep my newly rocking body. When I'm in my new home, I want to rent a treadmill and use it everyday. I want to take with my my exercise DVDs and not just look at them while feeling guilty. I want to feel confident in my own skin and realise I have the best body I'll ever have. I want to be in the best shape of my life and stay that way.

3. Get organised.

This is something I have always craved but never quite mastered. It can come and go in waves when inspiration hits but I want it to stick. At work I'm organised but at home I'm lazy, I'm messy, I feel guilty and do nothing about it. I want to keep my clothes and whole house tidy and organised. I want to keep to a cooking and grocery shopping menu/list. I want to have an exercise regime and, one again, stick to it. I want to be super organisational girl, like a superhero. I want to stop the laziness, have my to-do lists going, and get things done. I want to be busy with Uni and volunteering and work that I will have to keep on top of things. I don't want to slip with this. It's important to me and I will succeed!

4. Have my own home [rented but mine].

I can't wait till I move out of my parents' [still shocked I'm here at age 24 but it happens] and have my own home, to set it up just how I like over time and get into the best habits of my young life. I want to come home and be so proud of myself, how adult I will have become, so independent, and of that fact that I'll be living my own life. I can't wait to get handed a set of keys and realise that I did this. It will be a great day.

5. Find my one true love.

Around the age of 25, I hope I will have found my one true love but it's things like this that you can't plan. I just hope it doesn't take years to find him because I don't want to be too young before we start having a family. I want to be in love. I want to share my life with someone and have them share theirs with me. I want to be on the same level with him and be in a partnership, not a one-sided battle for involvement. I want to feel secure and blessed that I have found the perfect match for me. I want to plan holidays and the future with him and feel fulfilled. I can't wait for love.

So they are the major things I want to achieve before or around the age of 25. Thank you Katie for for inspiring this post and getting me thinking about what I want to achieve. I need to kick myself into gear!

Monday

I was walking down the drive way to get the mail not long ago and I thought about how great it'll be to have my own home in Sydney. I truly can't wait till I move there [I'll be sad if I don't get it] and do it all myself. My house is going to be so cute. Over time it'll get full of furniture and my things. Lots of fish, flowers and art is my goal. I'll be starting with the SARK posters I'm expecting in the mail any time soon. I'll also get something from The Picture Gallery. I love that gallery. It has beautiful artworks. I want a huge one.

I want to buy more museum/archaeology books but should wait until Wednesday till I get paid again. I don't want to keep digging into my savings while I'm trying to save for next year. I also want to get my Portman's lay-by off lay-by and put on lay-by a beautiful white maxi-dress they have in their Summer catalogue. Next year my wardrobe will keep getting fabulous.

I want to write to Danielle from Sometimes Sweet and ask her for some help and advice on getting the lazy out of me. I want to be as organised in my home life as I can be at work. I just don't know how to make things stick. I really want to change my fitness level next year for a start. Next year will be a huge year of change. It'll be fantastic. I can't wait to meet my future husband. Reading Danielle's notable post on how she met her husband Hank made me wish so hard to have something as wonderful as that. They both knew they were meant to be right from the beginning. I want that.

Work tonight and a menu tasting. The Maritime tomorrow and the possibility of attending the Annual General Meeting for the Maritime at the Tasmanian Museum and Art Gallery. I'm "on call" at work so hopefully I won't be needed and be able to go to this meeting. It'll be great for my career path. I'll probably go hang at Sarah's or Holly's after I finish at the Maritime at 5 before this meeting at 730. It'll be good to hear more about how museums are run. I wonder what kind of work I'll be doing with Rona tomorrow. Maybe more conservation and putting things into the system. At any rate I'll learn a lot.

Got to get off the computer and take Katie for a walk, do something productive. I need to do my covered buttons. I want to get the right amount of each kind made, then I can go to a market like Holly does. Then again I want to make some of the rice balls too. One day I'll get there.

Love

I've started watching Pretty Little Liars and am loving it so far. Some of the kissing scenes make me wish so hard that I get that next year. I'm scared for it now because I'm not ready but also because in the clubs [not that I ever go] all boys want is to have sex with you. I want a kiss but I also want it to be the start of something epic. I don't want a fling. That's not me. I want love. I want to start a relationship and in this show I want the emotional connection that Aria has with the English teacher. It makes my heart wish for just that, something just as cute and sweet, not what you get in the clubs. One day I will get it.

Make a wish

Make a wish and place it in your heart. Anything you want. Everything you want. Do you have it? Good. Now believe it can come true. You never know where the next miracle's going to come from, the next smile, the next wish come true. But if you believe that it's right around the corner and you open your heart and mind to the possibility of it, to the certainty of it, you just might get the thing you're wishing for. The world is full of magic, you just have to believe in it. So make your wish. Do you have it? Good. Now believe in it with all your heart.
-- One Tree Hill Season 5 Episode 13

I wish for a love so great and so strong that it will never be diminished.
I wish for a man to spend the rest of my life with, someone who I will want to have sex with all the time, and someone who will treat me the way I deserve to be.
I wish to be the best version of myself.
I wish to have so many adventures in my life starting now.

There are a lot of things I am wishing for and I know I can be great.

Photography hobby

Image from weheartit

I want to take photographs like this. I need a theme and I think at this stage in my life it's the perfect focus because that's all I want. I will take many, many photographs and they will be beautiful.

I want this

All images from wehearit