My customised weight-loss plan from Jillian Michaels

I can't wait to get to Melbourne and start my new exercise regime. I want to get a treadmill and I can do that for say $10 a month. I want to get into the habit of bicycle riding and walking and running and doing aerobic dance classes as well as eating better. I can't wait to eat better. I will change my life!

1. Sweat

"You're a Pear - but you can pare down!

Like all pears, you tend to store fat in your lower body, so you're probably carrying extra weight around your hips, buttocks, and thighs. Anyone can be a pear, but this shape is more common among women, and it actually evolved because fat stored in these areas aids in fertility and breast-feeding. It's an interesting fact — but I know as well as anyone that this type of fat is harder to lose.

Not to worry! I have exercises that will target your fat storage areas. My personalized program will help you alter your pear shape. But you got to get a grip — you can only win against genetics up to a certain point. Once you understand this, you can let go of unreachable goals and replace them with real ones.

I'll create your personalized exercise program based on the days you prefer to work out, the goals you set for yourself, and the exercises you enjoy. After all, if you enjoy your workout, it's easier to stick to.

I'll encourage you to:

+ Have fun aerobic dancing! Depending on intensity, you could burn 500 calories an hour.
+ Cycle — indoors or out. At 13 mph, you could burn 600 calories an hour.
+ Power walk. You can do it anywhere, and at 4 mph, you’ll be burning at least 250 calories an hour.
+ Run indoors or out. All you need are good running shoes. And at 5 mph, you’ll burn over 400 calories an hour."

2. Science

"You're a balanced oxidizer.

Because you crave fruit and bread as well as salty foods, cheeses, and meats, you may be a balanced oxidizer. This is the fancy term for your metabolic rate. It simply means that you need equal proportions of protein, carbs, and fat to process the nutrients in your food optimally, and to produce and use the resulting energy. Lucky you — your diet is the easiest to follow! You feel your best on a diet that incorporates a wide range of foods, and your ideal macronutrient ratio is 40% carbs, 30% protein, and 30% fat.

But the bottom line is, you have to burn more calories than you take in. That's it. And to really do this successfully, you have to eat the ideal diet for your body and metabolism. Believe me — I've struggled with this myself. And I've done a lot of research and work to figure out my ideal diet. And now I want to share my findings with you. I have recipes and snacks that will help you eat better for your body type. And I have secrets and tricks to make it easier. (I didn't say "easy.")

3. Self

"1. Avoid dangerous situations. STOP driving by the doughnut shop on your way to work. When you go out to dinner, ask the waiter not to bring bread to your table.

2. Get a hobby. Start taking your dog on longer walks. Fix up your attic. By focusing on positive activities, you'll find yourself becoming more relaxed, happier, and thinner!

3. Curb mindless eating. Don't eat while standing up, and don't skip meals. Brush your teeth after every meal and snack. Food never seems as appealing when you have that toothpaste taste in your mouth."

* I was just thinking about the toothpaste thing the other day! I hate eating after I've brushed my teeth and I thought that if I do that when I want to eat but am not hungry then I can stop eating unnecessarily. It'll work too.

Changing my lifestyle

Next year I'm going to get thin. I mean it this time. Next year is the year I finally get fit and toned and smaller. I want to lose 10 kilos and with plenty of help and a new eating regime I can do it. I imagined myself thinner last night and liked it. I can do it and will. I have to do the things I want in this life otherwise they will never come true. If I want something I have to go out and get it. It's not just going to happen for me. It'll be worth the struggle and it's about time I did something instead of being so lazy. I'm going to change my lifestyle!

Making the Cut

I'm looking forward to starting Jillian Michaels program. Before that I'm going to have to sort out all the recipes and adjust the 30 day meal plan that's in the book as I don't like a lot of food normal people do. Nuts and red meat are two examples of this. It'll be a nice distraction from all the boredom. I'm also going to do daily blog updates about it and take a before and after pictures, as is suggested in the book, and document it completely. I'm excited about it.

If I won a multi-million dollar sweepstakes...

Daily Horoscope [from my phone]. Scorpio.

If someone knocked at your door today and announced that you had just won a multi-million dollar sweepstakes prize, how would your life change? Would you quit your job, dump your significant other, move to another part of the country? Would you reevaluate your coterie of friends, go back to school and study your dream career path, begin a charity that is so close to your heart? Whether you win a lot of money or not, Scorpio, the answers to this question say a lot about what's missing in your life. Choose at least one to begin, and you will enrich your life.

When I read todays horoscope I marveled at how spot on it was regarding the last 6 months. So many things have changed and so many are yet to be but there are many things in the works. My life is completely different and I know what I want but am waiting for things to fall into place.

I want to move to another part of the country and am waiting to hear back from Sydney. I did dump my significant other but it wasn't my plan, it was his. I would definitely quit my job. My friends are fine and I see them when I want. I am hoping to go back to school and get into the right career path for me -- museum studies -- so that's another one down. One of the main things I want to do is travel. Winning the sweepstakes would be fantastic and I would up and leave to go on holiday now to the UK as I have family there although I want to travel around South-East Asia first. I don't want to go alone though so I'd probably save the money and go when I find my future husband.

What's missing in my life is adventure. I want to start afresh in Sydney next year and study at the beautiful University of Sydney. I want to have my own house and make it just as I like, over time of course as money will be an issue. I want to be dependent only on myself for most things and learn to be self-sufficient. Eventually I want to find my ideal partner and start a family as I am totally clucky these days and do lots of travelling. If I were still with Yorick I wouldn't have any of these marvelous plans or the desire to do more. I would be stuck in a dead-end relationship and still not be able to see it. That's depressing. I just want these last few months in Tasmania to speed up so I can start my new adventures. First I need to know if I'm going to Sydney or not. Then I can really plan and have a date that it'll all begin. If I don't get in, coming to terms with the knowledge that I'll have to go to Melbourne will be hard. I don't want to go there. I don't think there's any other choice though, as I don't have an honours degree and will never get one. It has to be Sydney.

So, a lot of things are already in motion. Now I just have to keep waiting.

Headache

Why does volunteering at the Maritime give me a headache? It seriously happens each week. This was my 4th session there and got back into categorising papers and photographs. I would have added my tasks to my resume except it has some sort of virus and my anti-virus software wants me to pay to use it. No way! Everything needed to fix your computer should be free unless you can't find someone to do it for you. SNERT is here so I can ask James to take a look at it quickly. It might take ages to fix though. One day I'll get a new computer when I know how much ram and that kind of stuff to watch out for. I want high speeds but have no idea what all their hard drive specifications mean. You can tell, can't you.

I can't wait for my SARK posters to arrive in the mail, as well as my museum text books so I can start studying. I just want to be productive and start studying now so I know at least something before the course starts. I want to be working towards something and be using my time for something productive as opposed to wasting it by watching too much TV. One day in the next few weeks I will write to Danielle and get some advice about how to improve my life by getting into good habits.

Tomorrow I'm going to go to the catalogue man's place and get started. I'll probably go out on a Monday and do the catalogue drop as I don't usually do much on a Monday. It'll be nice to start the week off that way too. I had a dream about dropping catalogues last night. I haven't even done it and I'm dreaming about it. I think it'll be good to make a little bit of money while taking a walk. Easy cash. It'll add up.

Self-love inspired by Sometimes Sweet

In the name of Sometimes Sweet's post --

What I love about myself. This is going to be a little hard at first but it'll do me some good. I am too often thinking about the bad things, like being lazy or sometimes negative, but it's about time I celebrated what I love about myself. Thanks, Danielle!

+ I really love those times when I look in the mirror and can recognize that I'm pretty and that I do love my looks. Sure, I'm not a beauty queen, but I am cute and once I've showered, washed my hair and made myself up I do love how I look. This isn't always the case and I am struggling to say I love how I look but it is true. I do have those moment when I am happy I look the way I do. I've been told I look English and that makes me very proud. My dad is English and my whole family comes from there, even if it is a few generations back, and I love my heritage. That's a huge part of the reason I want to get my surname tattooed on my wrist. Being told I look the part made my day.

+ I love that I am loyal to my friends and family. The few friends I have are really close friends and I love this. I don't need a huge amount of acquaintances to make me feel great. Actually I don't like those kind of meetings where you kind of know someone and feel obliged to go over and say hello. That doesn't make me happy. I love having close relationships with a few and building on them. If any one of them were in trouble I would race over there in a second.

+ When I'm in love or in a relationship, I love how I feel. I love being in love and I love how much I care for that person and I love how fulfilled I feel. I can't wait to fall in love again. I want it to be the one.

+ I love how optimistic I am about love, the future, and when my time will come to get married and start a family. I often wonder if it'll happen in the general vicinity of the time frame I want it to but deep down I know it'll all happen in good time, when I'm ready. I want it to be next year when I'm in Sydney but then again it all depends.

+ I love how I am very in tune with how my words can affect those around me, those I love. This isn't always the case in Hospitality but that's another story. I remember when I was a bit younger, sometimes I wouldn't say the nicest things to my mum, or I wouldn't appreciate all the chores she does around the house. Now I do [I have since I moved out and moved back home the first time]. I see how much she does and I try not to be a burden as I have faced it all myself and see how much there is to do around the house. It wasn't my plan to be living at home at 24 but it is nice being close to my parents while I'm still living in Tasmania. I can't wait to live in my own home and do my own chores. It'll be hard work but it'll be rewarding and nice not to be leaning and depending on mum to do all that work. I feel guilty now for it. Rarely I do the cooking or laundry and I can't wait to be out of here so there will be less work for mum to do. I love that about myself.

Speaking of living at home, I've been here since May. It's been most of the year and that has only dawned on me. I spent the first few months after Yorick and I broke up healing but now that I'm better I just want to move on with life and that means going to Sydney. My desire to move is huge. I want to be self-sufficient. This is the last time I'll be living with my parents, I will make certain of that. It's time to start living my life and as long as I get accepted to Sydney I can start the life I'm dreaming of. If not, then Melbourne will have to do.

+ I love my passion for travel. I really, really, really want to see the world. I'm probably not going to go to the Middle East, maybe a select few countries from that region, but I'd love to start in Asia then move around Europe at a slower pace for a longer amount of time. I'd love to go to parts of America, both North and South, and Africa. I've done a bit of Oceania and would love to do more. I can't wait to travel more.

+ I love that I want to have kids. I love that I have already got my girls' names [Lena for sure, and maybe Quinn or Marta] and I know once I stumble upon the right boys name [something ancient and mythical] I will love it too. I love spending time with my niece Etta Joy O'Regan. I've never been around babies much and am loving learning about them. Etta is the best teacher. I love how much I love her.

+ I love my musical talent. I love my creative burn. I love my artistic appreciation. I love my desire to be more involved with these loves [getting there is another matter].

+ I love looking forward to Sydney. I love the city so much and can't wait to be a part of it [please].

+ I love my passion for history [despite not studying it much] and ancient artifacts. I can't wait to start studying again! I love learning. I love going to Uni.

I think that's enough for now. It has been nice though. I might make a post in the next few days about what I don't like about myself and ways to improve them, such as being lazy. That's going to be a hard one to combat. As long as I have lots of things to keep me occupied I'll be okay. Discussions for another time.

Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred

I just bought Jillian Michaels' book Making the Cut: The 30-day Diet and Fitness Plan for the Strongest, Sexiest You for $13.37 off the Book Depository. I just got the DVD in the mail today so I think once I'm in Sydney and have lots of space in front of the TV and 30 days in a row to dedicate to it I shall start. I don't want to start now and stop because of work and such interruptions. It will be part of the exercise regime I plan to implement once I'm there and settled in my new home. I can't wait to have my own home!

Lists, tattoo and Uni

I've been thinking about writing lists like Sometimes Sweet has been recently to do with things that make me happy and things I'm grateful for but something is stopping me. I think it's because I'm basing all my happiness on getting into the Sydney course and once I begin the course I'll be able to write them. While I'm here, stuck in Hobart wanting to get out, I don't think I can write the list, not properly. Sydney is going to be a huge part of that. I'll be very sad if I don't get in and Melbourne will just have to do. It'll be fun living there as I have friends there but Sydney is about a lot more.

I received an information pack in the mail from Deakin about how to enroll. I have to do it before Boxing Day otherwise the offer might lapse so hopefully I hear back from Sydney before December. If I hear back in January and it's a no then I might have missed out on Deakin. Not that I want Deakin but it would be better to study somewhere than nowhere even if it does have a strong focus on Cultural Heritage. I can't wait to hear back from Sydney. Please be soon.

I think me and Helen and Munchie are going to go to Holly's for drinks and nibbles on Wednesday so Holly and I might discuss me getting my tattoo done. It's scary but I think it'll be fantastic. She's going to help me with where to go in Hobart and hopefully soon after a date can be set! I'll get her to come with me.

I am a bit worried about finding a house in Glebe, NSW. I've been looking to check out what I could get for $250 per week [my top end] and it seems that a lot of them share a laundry or even a kitchen and I don't want that! I want my own place, totally mine. I've done the shared laundry thing and I don't like it. I might have to look further out of the city. At least if I start off in a home stay situation I can take my time looking for places and even go for little trips further away from the Uni but not too far and check out how I would go. It would only be a short bus ride away and busses are so frequent there it wouldn't be a problem. Somehow I'll find something great.

Organisational girl

I'm feeling rather lazy today. I'm in bed, watching Gilmore Girls, surfing the internet. I've seen on other blogs how people organise their desks and craft work areas. I love the use of clipboards and I have just had a thought that I'll get some lovely ones off Etsy to set up in my next year house for my personal organisation. I mentioned earlier about writing up lists for cleaning and cooking and exercise and homework. I think this is an even better way to keep things organised. I'll be super organisational girl! Like a superhero. I also want a letter holder. I've been wanting one for so long but have never stumbled upon the right one. I'll keep looking on Etsy and something will turn up.

Down, down, down

So I hung out with Andi last night. We had a bit chat about relationships and she is sure I'll meet my future husband. I love that she used the same terms I used. "Future husband." That's how I always think of him. Lately I've been sad because I hate my life right now and can't wait for 2011 when it will all be better. I want to know everything will turn out as I hope it will, although some things don't happen for a reason. I just miss being in a relationship, despite knowing it's for the best, and want my future now. I want a preview of my future family and life but I know that's impossible. I'm just sad because I don't have much going on right now and it's hard being alone, especially living at my parents and waiting to hear where I get accepted to. It's just hard.

I do love that I'm volunteering for the Maritime though. It's special and getting me to where I need to go. I'm looking forward to my session there on Monday. Tuesday will be busy with the Melbourne Cup races on at Elwick, and I might even have to work that night [possibly both], and I am hoping for more work at thebeach to get me money and keep me occupied. It's too late to find another job with only 3 months to go [I wanted to apply for the job at Video City. It closes on the 2nd of November so I still have time ... but is it pointless? Maybe I should anyway and mention in the cover letter that I'm moving and hoping for a transfer, if they have Video City in Sydney or Melbourne. I know they have Blockbuster] so I'll have to get enough work at thebeach and the occasional day at Relish. I've saved $1200 already, will hopefully get some from my car, and put away $100 a week at least, hopefully more like at least $150 and closer to $200. It all depends on how much work I get. Sigh.

I am really hating feeling so down. It's been like this for the last few months, after I was done healing after the break up, when I was ready to get back out there and work, work, work. Unfortunately that didn't stick and I'm ready to be active but don't have the opportunity in the places I want to be. I'm sad and I don't like it. Once December comes and Jan and Fra arrive I think things will be better. I always enjoy Christmas and family time. I'll be working a lot more around then I think because thebeach will get busy. I'm not too fussed about New Year celebrations as I'll probably be working. I wouldn't mind a drink though. Hopefully December will give me the best news of the year. Then it will be January. Great weather, and I can finally start making some concrete plans concerning Uni. I can't wait. I hate being miserable but it's hard not to be. My life isn't all that great right now. Once I move back over to the shed it should pick up. I'll exercise more and feel like I have my own space. I can sit in the bean bag and read. I can focus on my covered buttons and even the idea of making rice balls. I think it will be better over there and it'll lift my spirits a bit. The band came over today [my brother's band, SNERT] so mum and I didn't go over and clean but will do tomorrow. That will do me some good.

I actually have to get ready for work now. I know I'll be happier once I'm there. One reason I don't like to go these days is because of Jarrod. I think he has a crush on me. He's 18 and is getting a bit too affectionate and I don't like it. It's like I'm leading him on. We're just friends but I don't even like seeing him because it can all be construed as leading him on. Ahhh. I don't need this. Hopefully I will be upstairs with Sara and out of his way so I don't have to talk to him much. I hate even thinking about it. Frustrating.

Organisational skills

I want to start making lists of --

+ Things to take to Sydney;

+ Recipes to be put in a book for next year;

+ Cleaning schedule possibilities for next year;

+ Workout schedule possibilities for next year;

and all the little things I want to do and be like drinking more water, especially when I wake up and before meals [as I read that helps you lose weight] and having a certain day of the week dedicated to organising my meals for the week. I want to ask Dannielle from Sometimes Sweet about a cleaning roster and if I can get some help writing such lists. I want to be as organised as I can. I'm organised when it comes to work, and am happy to clean there, but when it comes to my home life that's another story. I want to reinvent myself and get into great routines and not make excuses anymore. That annoys me about myself.

I just bought a new DVD as inspired by Dannielle's "Workout motivation" post -- Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred.

I love using these sorts of DVDs, especially at home alone. Once I move over to the shed I'll start getting back into these and my Leg Magic machine along with the new Gaiam and try to get into good habits before Sydney, or wherever I end up next year. I want to eat healthier and smarter, feel good about my body, good enough to be with my future husband intimately, and consider myself a new person. I hate that I'm lazy, I truly do, and next year will be the year I kick that bad habit for good. That is my plan.

I like the idea of doing early morning workouts as Dannielle suggested. I've always wanted to be an early morning person, and liked going to the gym for 9am-ish when I was living at Mt Nelson. It's a great way to start the day, to feel energised for the day, and not have to moan in the afternoon/evening when it's time to go to the gym or workout. I will conquer my body issues!

So, I will start working on these lists and possibly write them up as notable posts on the side of my blog [Dannielle has that on the side of hers] so I can easily go back to them. Having them so close I will get used to them and the idea of what it will be like once they are in practice. Dannielle's blog is my favourite daily stop and I love her organisational skills. I want to use them to make schedules for myself and be the person I want to be.

The year for fitness

I've been eating too much lately. My tummy has been getting bigger and it seriously looks like I'm pregnant and when you're not that's not a good sign. A new birth year means I should eat less and exercise more. Once I move over to the shed [little house] I'll be able to set up my Leg Magic and once I get this new Gaiam in the mail I'll be able to work out over there. I also have Shpresa and I always liked how that made me feel. Now I just need to get some heavier weights. I got some really small ones to start with from Big W and I'm sure they'll have more there. This birth year and 2011 is the year I'm going to kick myself into getting fit.

I want to lose 7-10 kilos. I'm 65 at the moment, unfortunately, and according to the "Calculate your ideal weight" application on Facebook I should be 57.6. With height 164cm your ideal weight is 57.6 based on the below formula -- (164cm - 100) - (10% x (164cm - 100)) = 57.6. I want to get fit, lose the tummy weight and extra fat around my ribs, and feel good about my body. I know I should give up on being really thin, but under 60 kilos would be fantastic. I also want to be fit mentally and physically before I meet someone new. I want to be in Sydney loving my life and my body and then I will truly be open to the right relationship. I'm not content in my body for it just yet. And that is a part of next years journey. For independence and to feel good in my own skin. I want a weekly meal and cleaning plan, to exercise regularly, and to improve myself. I'm also excited about volunteering a lot over there in museums while doing the course. I think it will be fantastic. I can't wait for my new life to begin.

Future, here I come

Just went for a walk with mum and had a bit chat about next year, Sydney and Melbourne, finances and living arrangements. I'm going to love getting into great habits once I have my own house. That is really important to me. I want to plan like Sometimes Sweet and map out each weeks meals. I want to clean regularly and on the whole be more organised and prepared. This is why I want to live alone, so I can only rely on myself and get into these habits.

I also need to save as much money as I can because I might not be able to find a job straight away. I hated when I was there last time and ran out of money on the Tuesday before Wednesdays pay day. I don't want to experience that. I'll be good with my money too, when I'm there, and will get a cheap TV and just get the essentials to start with. I want to get out of here as soon as I can and I want this life. Mum and I are going to work on collecting some recipes for me to use when I'm over there as I want to get into a cooking and cleaning routines, as well as exercise routine and little things like drinking more water, especially as soon as I get up, and remembering to take my the Pill. I want my life to be just the way I wish it were. I will make that happen.

Wednesday Wishes

Today I wish that I will get accepted into the University of Sydney for Museum Studies next year. I can't wait to have my own house and to start living the way I want to. I am under the impression that once I am indeed living in my own house I will do all the little things I would love to do each day but don't do them when living at home. I hate moving because I don't get into those routines. For example: in my new home I would love to get into the habit of drinking water each morning when I wake up [which I hope to be at the same time each morning, say 830am] as it replenishes what you have lost throughout the night. I would also love to get into a jogging/morning exercise routine whilst I'm there. I also want to have a weekly food plan as suggested by Sometimes Sweet. They are just some of the little things I want for but then I have to get into the Uni first so I can start that life over there! I expect, and also wish, that I will meet my future husband over there and once we are in a committed relationship I hope we can go on holidays together. I miss that kind of holiday, the ones Yorick and I took together. That's the kind of holiday I like to go on, one with your significant other. I will wait until then. So please, let me get into the Uni so I can start my life afresh in the beautiful city of Sydney.

What's on my mind

I think about moving to Sydney a lot, about the Uni course I'll be doing, about the new city to explore, about the new job I'll need to get and all the friends I'll meet through work and Uni, and about how I'll have to find a place to live and set myself up afresh. I'm excited about and confident that I'll be able to survive on my own. It'll be my thing. I'm not following anyone. I can't wait to be in a good share-house, to decorate my new room. Once back from the UK I'll have to save heaps of money for bond and a bed and draws and stuff. The weather will be nice and I know I'll love the Uni I'll be going to and the course. I will miss my family and I'll miss getting to see Etta grow up but I will make sure I save enough to get back home every few months. I'll have to get Skype so I can not only hear people on the phone but see them. I'll have to get my laptop fixed. I might have to get a new one as mine's pretty bad. I'd like a new one, all pretty and light weight. I might even get a smaller computer bag. We shall see. I shouldn't get too carried away.

Last night I went to James' Snert gig with Sarah and her house-mate Nicole. It was really fun. Sarah and I danced for most of it and got a bit sweaty. Before that we had drinks at their house and had Cool Thai for dinner and watched Skins 1. It was a great night. I felt free. I'm liking feeling free. Yorick said he'd go on Facebook but he didn't show. I wonder why. I didn't want him to be there but I also did want him to be there so I could show him how okay I am. It's not about him, it's about me wanting to feel superior. I don't miss him. I miss the lifestyle and the company but I know there's something 10 times better out there waiting for me. I can feel it and I believe I'll be lucky enough to get it. I will. I just have to be patient and I will be. I'm not going to go and kiss random people. I'm going to save myself for my future husband and it'll be worth it. I hope he finds me before I meet someone who I think is the one but isn't after closer examination. I have to go with the flow and be open to all possibilities.

I can't wait till I go to Sydney next year to enroll and start learning the layout of the city. It'll be a great trip. I want to go this year but shouldn't. It's a little too eager to go now when the course is 2 years away. I have to get a job in the next few months so I can start saving for the UK. I'll be getting $500 tax back so I'll put all of that away and then it'll be easy to keep adding to it and watch the number go up and up. I have $100 in cash from my work tips so I'm already doing great! That's half a plane flight.

I went to the doctors yesterday and was prescribed the Pill to help control my unusual acne. It's been around for 6 months and won't go away. I had fine skin before with only the occasional pimple but now it's horrible. The last time it wasn't so nice was in high school! It's strange that my skin is so bad now. Why is it? I think it might be hormonal. I got the generic version of the Diane Pill for $10 so I'll see how it goes for this first month. The chemist suggested I book another doctors appointment before the first month's worth of pills is up but my doctor gave me 3 lots of 3 month repeats if it goes well and my body doesn't reject the Pill. I hope it works. If it doesn't I'll have to try topical lotions instead. I hope the Pill doesn't give me periods. I have been so happy not having them but I'm not sure it's worth having shitty skin. I'll want nice skin even if I have to pay for it with some periods. I'm meant to have them anyway. Implanon stops it, that's all. I really hope my skin clears up. It's embarrassing and make me feel shit. I don't want to feel like crap anymore.

I need to find a job soon so I can start working full-time and save almost all of the money I earn. Maybe I should go back to Dymocks and give them my resume again. I'm getting really bored, especially these last few days since I've been getting better, and staying in bed all day and watching TV shows is starting to feel like a waste of time again. I need to start my exercise regime. That will get me feeling productive. I need to start reading more too. That doesn't feel like a waste of time. Tonight I'll try to go to sleep earlier than usual. Tomorrow I'll go to visit James and George and Etta with mum and meet Nanna and Pa there. Oh little Etta. She's such a cutie.

Organic Veganism

I'm considering trying out being an organic vegan. I'm watching True Blood at the moment and one of the characters on there is an organic vegan. I've always thought I should look after my body better and by being careful about what I eat is a great way to start, plus it will probably help me lose some weight and get me feeling better about myself. My body should be my temple. I should treat it with respect as it's the only one I have. I want to get into the philosophy of being a vegan and really embrace it. I probably won't be completely vegan as I like eating fish and chicken, so maybe I'll be an organic vegetarian if that's in any way similar. I'll start off slowly.

I'll give up fast food, biscuits and cakes, and aim to eat more fruit to begin with. I had KFC last week and my body felt horrible afterwards. I haven't really eaten much of that food in ages so I really noticed it. I think my favourite meal at Cool Thai is very healthy and comes under the suggested pad thai. It's a vegetable stir fry and so delicious. It feels healthy. I need to start eating organic fruits, vegies, whole grains and natural foods. I've just found this website that says to "forget about meat, fish, dairy, eggs, sugar, artificial sweeteners, refined flour, caffeine, diet sodas, and anything that contains chemicals that you can't pronounce." I'll cut out fizzy drinks as they make your digestion noisy [I've done this for a while already and only have some at work but it'll be easy to give up] but I like drinking tea. I won't have big breakfasts, not that I do anyway, but am now wondering if I can have my yogurt. Probably not as that counts as dairy. It makes me feel healthy so I'll keep having my yogurt with banana and cups of tea and meat but I'll try and be vegan everywhere else.

Foods to cut out --

x. Eggs

x. Dairy

x. Fizzy drinks

x. Sugar

x. Artificial sweeteners

x. Fast foods

Foods to focus on --

x. Organic fruits and vegies

x. Soy products and beans

x. Organic canola/olive/sesame oils

x. Whole-grain cereals [my Sanitarium Light 'n' Tasty cereal] and bread, whole-wheat pasta, vegetable pasta, tortillas, brown rice, barley, potatoes, and sweet potatoes

x. Organic corn chips and Veggie Stix shoestring potato sticks

'Dieters are advised to wait to eat until they're nearly ravenous, to get used to the feeling of an empty stomach. They're also told to understand that "headaches, nausea, and hunger are a result of your body's cleaning itself."'

I want a cleansed body! I want to feel healthy. Once I'm completely over this cold I'm going to get into my exercise regime and try to make sure it sticks. I want to be healthy and I made a pact with myself not to be with anyone until I'm happy in my own skin and at the moment I'm not. I have a doctors appointment tomorrow with my childhood doctor who moved from Margate to Snug a few years back and hopefully he can help me with my skin acne problem. It's persisted for a while now and it's getting me down. I have been using this alcohol gel each night for 1.5 months but nothing has changed. I went to another doctor and he prescribed me that but I want to see changes. I might have to switch from Implanon to the Pill.

I'm going to try and get the book the article was kind of based on. It's called "A Harvest of Healing Foods: Recipes and Remedies for the Mind, Body and Soul" by C. McFadden and K. Zelman. I need to get used to hunger feelings to shrink my tummy a bit so I eat less. Not so much food! I can do this. I'll feel so much better because of it.

I might need to go to a health food shop to get some of this stuff. I want to try the organic corn chips and Veggie Stix shoestring potato sticks. They sound intriguing! I've already bought more fruit. I'll start that tomorrow. No junk food or fizzy drinks are the place to start. This will be a fun adventure.

Future me

I always thought that one day I'd feel like an adult as if it would happen over night. For a while now I've been living with my boyfriend Yorick and I just thought when I walked through the front door how I don't feel how I thought I would, living out of home with my boyfriend and coming home after work. I don't know what I was expecting but definitely a noticeable change. I feel so comfortable living out of home with Yorick as we have a home together. I'm often visiting my childhood home to have dinner with my parents and younger sister so I know I'm safe and loved no matter where I am. It's a nice feeling. Maybe I haven't reached what kind of adulthood I'm thinking of. I imagine myself with a full-time, stable job, in the process of building a house and having to be very adult and responsible. I'm definitely not there yet so maybe once I am I'll feel like a real adult. Then again, maybe that's not such a great thing as I don't want to lose my sense of who I am, and maybe that's not who I am. I like thinking about the future: travelling lots, getting married to Yorick, building a house, having babies! I'm excited about all of it. Sometimes I'm so excited that I want it now but I know I can't have it now, especially marriage and babies. One day it'll happen and it'll be right. I'm just happy with the way things are now.