That boy

Glenn is just amazing. We were talking on the phone last night after I finished work but it was hard to hear him at times because of the reception in South Hobart, so we went onto Google+ and did a Hangout. It was so lovely to see him. It's always better than talking on the phone but of course it's not always possible. We had the best talk. At one stage I said that we've pretty much decided that I'm to move home, which is something I'm happy to do, not only for us but for other reasons such as family, friends, and my career. I said that's all good as long as he doesn't change his mind. To that he said he'll wait for me! That's the most romantic thing ever. I love that. We talked a little about how things will change, but it'll be for the best. We've only spent 9 days together in the last 1.5 months so we're looking forward to spending a lot more time together. He said he'll date the shit out of me. He he he. He said he likes that he's not feeling any pressure from me and it's the same for me from him. We're relaxed. I can't wait until next weekend when he's here for 5 days from noon on the Thursday to around the same time on the Wednesday. We already have some things planned but I'm stressing a little about what shifts I'll have at Veludo. I haven't been getting many lately, and next weekend that suits me more than ever, although I do need the money, more stress right there. Earlier yesterday things were making me feel completely stressed and all I wanted to do was to be with Glenn, but it's not possible right now. I seriously can't wait until he's here. Then he's away until the 1st of October factoring in time zones for him coming back from Europe. We'll have another 5 days together then too. Then I'll be down in Hobart from the 24th of October to the 3rd of November! 10-11 days. I can't wait! God I miss him. I miss being able to hug him and kiss him and do the soft scratchy back massage thing with him. I miss getting to know him more, although we're doing a pretty good job now. We talked everyday, if only via text, but we talk every day or two and do maybe one Google+ Hangout a week. We're doing well. I love that he's going to wait for me. He just wants me to put myself first. I don't exactly want to move back to the city of Hobart as I'd much rather be in Melbourne itself, but I'm doing this for us. As long as I can get a job I'll be set. Then we will find out how far we will go. I want my own house, to do up just how I like it. I want masons jars for drinking out of. I want to frame and have my posters up. I want the awesome wooden closet I got from Mt Nelson and place for my gym equipment. I want him to come over all the time and for me to go to his place. I want him to date the shit out of me! I can't wait. We send each other pictures of ourselves, by the way. I have some lovely ones from him. He actually owes me some. Not long now until he's here. On the Thursday we'll check into the George Powlett Motel in East Melbourne then as long as I'm not working, or if god forbid I am I can get rid of it, then we'll go to Bimbos for dinner and see Tiger Funk again, the band that was on the time he, Nicole and I went. We're also going to have lots of warm cider, and have either a double or triple date with his friends and Amy and Gav, if they're all free and up for it, we're going to stay in bed for a whole day, we're going to go see the Tutankahmun exhibition at the Melbourne Museum, we'll get me some poi and practice in the park, go to the Fitzroy Gardens, go to Illy, see the Illusionist at the Nova Cinemas, go to ACMI, and some anime shops. We have lots to do. I believe I'll be working at some stage over the weekend. I'm still praying I didn't get many shifts. I'll have Uni on the Friday. I should have the Monday to Wednesday completely free. It's going to be so amazing having him here. We think the Motel might be pretty basic but it'll be ours. It has a queen bed I think, a little kitchenette and our own bathroom! That was one of my requests. I'm so excited. It'll be great. He's also going to do some time lapses that I'll tag along to. I hope I don't have to work much. That's one of my biggest fears for next week. I'll find out tomorrow morning. Seekae tonight! Then Husky tomorrow night. Lots of homework to be done. I really need to do some now. I'll get onto that.

I'm back!

I am so bad. I haven't written in months. It's not that I didn't want to. First it was the fact that I didn't have regular internet access. Then I got used to not writing, but now some major developments have arisen that I want to document. I'm just lazy but I want this hiatus to be over.

Working at Velduo is going good as usual. I can't wait until I have a 'real' job though in cultural heritage. That'll be amazing. I have been working occasionally at Watermark as well and that's fine too. More cruisy, which I like. It's comparable to working at Relish, as Veludo is to thebeach. I like that I'm getting cash in hand so I can get Centrelink as well. I'm naughty but everyone does it.

Uni is going well. There have been so so so many assignments to do. My assignment schedule is insane. Seriously I hate it. I'm in the second 'trimester' now, currently in the middle of World Heritage. I have already finished the on-campus classes for Collections and Movable Cultural Heritage and handed in the first assignment for that yesterday. I'm still finishing off assignments for Cultural Landscapes. The last one was due yesterday but I had to get an extension because the case study I chose was too hard. I'm focusing on Sullivan's Cove now and its management issues. Once I find those I will feel like I'm in a better position. At the moment I'm a bit stressed about it because I don't have much to write about. Drat those management issues!! Where are you? My last assignment is due on the day after my birthday, but I'm planning to get that done earlier. I don't want it to ruin my birthday! Then all I'll have is the field placement unit and I'll be set! I'm planning to do that back home. My plans have certainly changed, and all because of the results of one night.

On Thursday the 14th of July, Nicole, Glenn and I hung out. We had ciders at the Young and Jackson's rooftop cider bar near Flinder's Street Station then went to Bimbos for $4 pizzas. It was a lot of fun. Nicole and Glenn had worked together at Wrest Point and I knew him through Yorick, through Apples, through Helen. He had contacted me a few months earlier saying that we should catch up while he was in Melbourne and we did. At Bimbos, Glenn sent me a text message while sitting next to me. He was going to say something, and I bugged it out of him. He said he wasn't sure if he should say it. The text said that he thought we flirted well. We all decided to go and see Harry Potter 7 Part 2 at the movies and he had his arm on the arm rest and I took it. We ended up kissing. They were the best kisses ever. We all caught a cab back to the YHA, then Glenn went back to his hotel. We met up the next day. I tried to get out of working at Watermark but I couldn't, but we met up between my shift there and the one at Veludo. I met him at the Flinder's steps. We caught the free tram to Spencer Street then caught the 96 to St Kilda and sat on the beach. He was carrying all his luggage with him. We talked and laughed. On the free tram he couldn't believe it when I said I was 24. On the 96 we were facing each other on different sides of the tram and had our legs connecting. Once we were walking on the beach, I got him to stop and we kissed. Then we sat down on the beach and talked. We walked up to Veludo and stood outside and kissed and hugged, and he held his arms up a few times to make us stop touching, probably because it was getting a bit heated. He he he. Then I went to work. We met up a week later when I went back to Tassie for Etta's first birthday [July 24th]. We met outside the Maritime after I had finished talking to Rona about an assignment. He had shaved his mountain man beard. We walked around Battery Point and talked and talked. Then we sat on a bench near the back of TMAG near the courtyard before he went off and I had dinner at Cool Thai and $10 cosmopolitans with Emma, Sarah, and Holly. After that, Sarah and I went back to hers. Glenn picked me up from there. We went back to his place and hung out in his room. I had a look at his DVD collection and pointed out all the ones I liked. He groaned because we have a lot of things in common. I got lost on the way back to his bedroom from the bathroom. I stood still. He found me and didn't laugh as such but said I'll be alright in a cute I like you way. We undressed each other, although he went to the bathroom and came back in only his red shorts/pants/undies. The sex was amazing, seriously the best ever. It was so nice sleeping next to him. We did it again in the morning, had an amazing shower together, and went out for breakfast down the road. We hung out at his place for the rest of the day until I went home for dinner. On Saturday we hung out again and I stayed over. I can't remember what we did. On Sunday morning we had a spa together. It was awesome. Then I went home quickly before heading over to James and George's for Etta's birthday party. Super cute. Then I hung out with Sophie at thebeach, then Monika, then home for tea before heading back up to see Glenn. That morning I had gotten a bit sad. I also got sad before I left. Backtracking a bit, we had been texting all week and kinda built up the sex, or unwrapping me, because I was his late birthday present and him my early present. He he. Amazing. So we hung out for an hour and a bit before he went to cricket and I headed to James and George's so James could take me out to the airport. Glenn said to me to tell him if things get too hard to tell him, to promise. I did. I was sad to go. After that we texted and talked on the phone and I planned another trip down in two weeks, just to see him. I felt helpless before that trip was booked. I just came back from this second trip three days ago. I went down on Monday morning. Sarah picked me up and I hung at her place until Glenn got me at 4. We went to his place then picked up James and headed to his place to see Etta and G and have pizza! Sarah joined us. Glenn likes my family. They liked him too. Then we went to his house. We were going to see a movie but I was super tired so we hung out in his room instead. It was awesome. More great sex. We put onSource Code to watch but we saw none of it. None of the entire thing... He he he. On Tuesday he went to work. I studied in his bed. Then I met mum for some Spotlight shopping, then met Glenn after that. We went to the Post Office briefly then walked to my car near Sarah's in West Hobart then went to his place. We watched some anime then had a date at Mee Wah. So fancy! He has an alergy to seafood but he didn't get sick. Then we saw Hanna at the State. It was awesome. We were going to get Cold Rock but it was closed by the time the movie got out. Sad. Then we went back to his place and I stroked his back with soft fingers for ages. He said it was the best night ever and that he had never felt so relaxed before. It was bliss. On Wednesday morning we got up at 930. He was meant to go back to the Post Office and get his passport photos done, then see the passport people, but had to change plans. We had a shower together, he shaved then got back in. We went to the Post Office and were talking about heavy stuff and I got a bit upset. I had promised myself that if I came on that trip I wouldn't cry, because otherwise I wouldn't have seen him for a whole month instead of having a two week break in between. He wanted me to look at him when I started getting emotional but I didn't want to. I had to go outside and have a breather and get myself under control. He said he has the same feelings as me but I'm more open about it. I cry too easily. It's true. Then we walked down to Salamanca, I took a photo of the Tasmanian Mission to Seafarers, who knew right!?, then we went to the Vietnamese Kitchen for 'breakfast' and had more deeper conversations. Then we went to Margate for an hour for lunch, a play with Etta, then he took me to the airport. He dropped me off and he left reasonably quickly. I thought he was going to come in but it turned out that I didn't have to wait long. I missed him already and still do. The flight went by with my nodding off and doing that head jerk thing. Slightly embarrassing! I got back to Melbourne and he sent me a text, and he said he was glad I was safe. We've talked on the phone most days since, not that many but still. We're going to do a Google+ Hangout tomorrow. He's coming over at the start of September before he heads to Europe until the end of September. Then he'll be back with me. We'll hang for around 5 days either side of his trip. We'd better have a house by then! Then I'm going back home from the 24th of October to the 3rd of November to be with him and to celebrate turning 25. Woah. Hopefully I can do another 10 days in November. I want to go back to Hobart to be with him. He's concerned because he doesn't want me to give anything up to be with him. I'm not 100% sure about it but I want to be with him full-time and I think we have potential. He likes the idea but yes, he trusts me, but is concerned. Sweet. I have my own concerns but I'll only do it if I'm sure. I'll have Etta and my family there, a job in cultural heritage, I'll get my own place, go to the gym, experience more of Hobart by Glenn's side, know how far we can go, and if it doesn't turn out how I hope, then I can go off and travel the world as originally planned. I want to do that anyway while I'm back there, if I move back. Time will tell. We're not deciding anything yet. I just want to be with him. We talked for quite a while this afternoon. For the whole tram ride back from St Kilda and even more while I walked to the YHA and I even sat outside for a bit. He clarified that he sending me that text in Bimbos was his green light. I wasn't sure if grabbing his hand wasn't what he wanted, because he's a bit sarcastic and when we were talking in the Vietnamese Kitchen he made it sound like it was my fault, but that was just Glenn being Glenn. We're in a relationship now, he said. I don't regret it. He said when I was back and we were walking that he only regrets us because of how it could end, not because we would fall out of love or one of us cheated on the other, but because we wouldn't be able to see each other enough. How sad. It's a funny situation but I wouldn't take it back. Never. Ever. His sister Laura likes me already and has been in contact with me on Facebook. She's never done this with any of his ex's. I like that. I'll meet them all in October when I'm down. He he. I really like this one. I think he's great. He's mature. He's 28. He used to be in the circus. He's still performing a bit but he busted his shoulder so that ruined things a bit. He has great hair. He's taller than me but still short. He's beautiful. He things I'm beautiful. He makes me laugh. We're cruisy when we're together and we both love that. No stress. We both hate that we have had to have all these intense talks because of the distance but he doesn't mind. He's charming, but he said he's argumentative. He's a Taurus. He smells great. He likes my bum. I think it's too big. I just love being with him. I miss him and I want to be in the same place as he is. Sigh. I think we could go pretty far. He was shocked when I told him Y and I had been together for 4 years. His longest relationship was 2.5 years. I've been with more people than he has and earlier. I've done drugs. He hasn't. I'm so naughty compared to him. He is a bit funny about the age gap. I'm not. He doesn't care too much about if we do or don't have sex. That suits me fine. It used to be a chore but not now. I miss his hugs and kisses. Oh that boy. We're part-time. I don't like that but it's better than nothing. I'm surprised I slotted back into my life here so easily. I cried a little that night, only because I was exhausted, but fine after that. I just wish I were there experiencing life alongside him. I still have him, just not physically. I can't wait until we get time together again. If Nicole, Amy and her partner Gav/Gavin, aren't in a house before the start of September, we'll stay in a room together somewhere, maybe at the YHA, or somewhere else, but it'd be so nice to have him in my own room, to celebrate getting one. We're so compatible. I love it. We are alike in many ways. Or have the same interests. He said he'd been looking for someone who likes anime as much as he did for most of his life. That's me. We're dating. We're in a relationship. He is friends with all his ex's. I like that idea. I'm not with mine. I like him a lot. So much.

So that's enough for now.

Nicole, Amy and Gavin and I are all looking for a 3 bedroom house together. Hopefully we have somewhere before September, as was the aim, but perhaps not. By September for sure. They're fairly desperate. I've been here for 5.5 months. Things haven't gone as planned but that's okay. I've learned a lot and I am grateful I'm here.

Now it's time for a quick chat to my parents to find out what they think of Glenn and then homework! Sigh.

Things are getting better

Things are looking up! I had the job trial today at Spinifex where Jess works as a chef and I'll be getting a call on Wednesday with shifts and more details so that's exciting! Zack, the owner I guess, who was on coffee's all day asked me if I wanted to come back. Apparently it's not usually that busy. It was just because we had a huge booking and everyone else came in at the same time. I'm used to that kind of busy from thebeach so it wasn't so bad it's just because it was a new job for me and I'm not used to it and don't know how to do everything that it was a bit hard. It was fine though. It's cash in hand and I got $60 for today, which I am completely surprised about, but I don't think the general pay-rate is that high, but it's a start and it'll help me along with Centrelink. So I've had a good day. I got up and got my stuff into the storage room at the Greenhouse and had some free toast and vegemite with Teresa, my other new German friend, then caught the tram to Kensington Station just opposite Spinifex. If I had been 10 minutes later I wouldn't have made the trial. Eek. Oh, apparently there may only be 2 waitresses on usually but today it was great having 3. It would have been interesting for them if I wasn't there. I'm looking forward to mastering it.

My daily horoscope
Someone may be telling you that you are expecting too much from a romance, friendship, or a work situation. You may even be critiquing yourself, and believing that if only you could be less strict in your requirements that you would be much happier. But most people settle, Scorpio. And therefore, most people believe that other people should settle. After all, misery loves company. You actually have the right idea. Stick to your guns. Remain loyal to your core needs and desires, and you will do fine -- even if it take you longer to find what you're looking for.

This could have something to do with the JD letter and the kind of answer's I'm looking for in regards to his response. I want to know what he's thinking about the whole thing. I'm not expecting much but at least to be friends would be nice and the possibility of seeing each other again for a similar occurance, even though it might not be that good for me because of my ability to attach. Eek. It could also be to do with work. I don't know. It's a good one though.

I really want a bowl of veggies for dinner. I might go up to Thai Culinary and see what they have and if not I'll just get the fried rice with vegies. Nicole tried that with beef and it looked good. Huge too.

I was thinking in the Greenhouse lift today that I think I'm over Yorick but not quite over JD. JD was awesome to cuddle in bed but Yorick was all boney and small. That's a nice thing to smile about. I love rethinking the whole night with JD. I loved the way we first kissed and I am starting to remember small things from that night. I don't remember much though. I was pretty drunk. I remember us talking on the stairs but not feeling any vibes. Drunkness might account for that though. I remember saying I wished I could dance like Liam Finn on the video clip for Second Chance. They asked me to do it but I froze, not in a shy way, but in the way that I was trying to process actually doing it and I couldn't. I said I'd have to look at the video. Weird. I loved that he talked to me first when I got to the party. He talked me through all the rules. When we were first kissing we told each other how we had wanted to be with each other throughout the night. He said it was from when I first walked in. I knew it too. I want that again. I needed to write the letter. I hope he writes back. Little things on Facebook like liking each others statuses or writing little comments isn't enough. It isn't a conversation. It would have been awesome to see each other again. I want to know when he's coming over again!!

Ahh dear. Talked to mum and dad tonight, and Sarah. Going over for Etta's birthday might be tricky as I'm sure I have a class on the Monday. Her birthday is on the Sunday so I might have to get a 10pm flight that evening. I could come over on the Wednesday evening or the Thursday. Something to think about.

Regarding archaeology. I can apply to do it at LaTrobe University [Graduate Certificate in Humanities and Social Sciences] or Melbourne University [Graduate or Postgraduate Diploma in Arts]. Eep! Melbourne Uni is so much closer!! I'll see what happens. I'll apply to both. Yay! I can't wait to do that. It'll be so awesome.

Must go and get some food then go back to the Space Hotel where I'm staying with Nicole for at least tonight. I do need to do a bit of Uni work but I feel like I'll be handing it in late. Eek. I'll have a full-on study day tomorrow but it's due tomorrow. It won't be done by then! I was planning on having today to finish it off but the whole moving thing plus the trial took much longer than expected. Hmm. Maybe I'll be handing it in on Wednesday! Yikes. I'd better get a move on then.

Presents, jobs, and Jantz

Mothers Day.
Send mum the Marie Antoinette DVD and a card. Possibly another movie.

Dads' birthday.
Buy him some of the balsa wood bird broaches from Harem Fashion on Brunswick Street.

Mums' birthday.
I'm sure I'll find some lovely things on Brunswick Street.

James' birthday.
I saw this cute magnifine necklace in an op shop on Brunswick Street so I might get that for my brother. Something random for someone random :D He's turning 26 this year. I can't believe it! It seems oldish but then again he has a wife and daughter and that makes his seem young, which he is. I'm only 24 so for me to be 26 seems much older, which it is. Hmm.

I need to start using my to-do list pad that I bought. I really need to write Andi a letter, get my Working With Children certificate sorted [all I need to do is go and get the photo taken but I keep forgetting or putting it off], and get some of these presents sorted, James' especially as his birthday is on the 22nd and I'll need to send it in advanced. I need to get his new house address so I can send it there. Maybe I'll ask mum and dad so it can be a surprise.

Last night I saw Sucker Punch at the movies and it was fantastic! I want to get more out of life because of it and do everything I want to do in life, all the classed [dance, self-defence/combat/weapon fighting, photography, archaeology!!], the travelling, family, kids, living in the UK and NZ. So much to do.

On another note, I wrote this in a Twitter post not too long ago --

Had another YHF dream last night. I don't hate him, it's just I'd rather not think of him. We were together for 4+ years so I suppose it's expected. I did love him after all. It's not easy to remove a part of yourself and I'm not sure why you would want to. It was important but it didn't work out. He's still a nice guy underneath it all. I think we can be friends again. In a way we still are. Maybe I should text him. Maybe not. It's weird. Now I'm a bit sad. Life so different. I thought I was set. I'm glad I get to do what I really want to in life despite it all and there's plenty of that. More time needs to pass and I need to sort out my life before we revisit our friendship. One day it would be nice to really be friends but I'm not sure it's possible. I'm not good at that sort of thing. I'll always feel uneasy around him. It's just a fact. I've never had a male friend as I was always too shy and it has left me undeveloped in that area. When I'm in a relationship it's completely different and I'm at ease. Maybe we can be like that one day. Fingers crossed.

It's nice being so far away from him and not being able to access his Facebook account through my sister's. I asked her to delete him from hers as I did that a while ago, but I liked being able to see what he was up to. I don't actually like what he's up to, the partying, the sexual content of his posts, the tranny party photos. It's stupid and he should just grow up. He's being such an idiot and I think everyone agrees with me. Whatever. That's why I love using Twitter now for my status updates at least. Barely anyone reads them so it's more like blogging and I can saw what I want when I want and no one will know. Some people read it but it's nice that it's less read and only people who want to read it will. I like that he's not in my life anymore. I like that I'm here in Melbourne. It's better this way.

I'm booked in for the Greenhouse backpackers for Sunday for at least a week. Tomorrow I must call Centrelink and let them know where I'll be moving to and what amount of 'rent' I'll be paying so I can get the rent assistance. I almost forgot so I'll have to set a reminder on my phone. I'm so exited to get my independence back. It's going to be lovely, but also not lovely in a different way. I am too comfortable here at Kirsten's and I've been here too long. Must go shopping on Saturday afternoon for their presents.

That reminds me! I have a job trial at The Mess Hall on Saturday at 10am! I'm psyched. I hope it goes great and I get a job out of it. It'd be a lifesaver. Then I can buy myself a new laptop!! Officeworks have some great priced ones. I just need to look up RAM and CPU stuff so I know what I'm looking for as sometimes they are too small or something. It's like MG and GB. I am useless with those terms. I have no idea how much they mean. Ahh. Although I'm getting better with those I must say.

After working at the Mission today doing more cataloging, us girls went for a drink at Bertha Browns next to the YHA. We shared a bottle of Jantz and I'm still a little tipsy! It's lovely. I like the bubbly happiness. For me it's the best drunk/tipsy there is. I'm such a fan. I hate sickly/spinning drinks like vodka. I like happiness thanks! Daquiri! Yum. So now I'm back at Kirsten's and I might watch another movie. I watched Igor last night. I bought it from JBHifi along with two others. I might watch another tonight. I'm not in a very study mode, although tomorrow I have to go out to Uni and study and return one of the books I borrowed! Must get the Children's check photo taken at a post office. Must also write Andi the letter! Must get James his present too. I hope I remember all of this. I'll refer to this post if I need to.

A house with Nicole

So, I got a Twitter message from Nicole last night, Sarah's ex flatmate, asking me to move in with her when she arrives on the 20th of April! It won't be that soon so I'm looking into short-term accommodation so I can give Kirsten back her room. I've been there for a month and now I am slowly understanding that it's okay not to be settled yet because the right place for me is still in my future. I believe that it'll be what I'm looking for with Nicole and her Canadian friend. The friend wants to love on the East, which suits me very well, and I know I can trust Nicole and will feel like it's my home too. I can't wait! Now I just have to find some short-term accommodation. I asked G about her family here as she said to me if I get stuck I can ask her so I did. She's going to look into it for me. Yahoo! That might turn up something nice and cheap too but still with wonderful people. I'm so excited.

Today I went out to Uni and I'm proud of myself as I navigated the library and got a load of books for my assignments. I spent a few hours on the internet gathering resources so I'm psyched to start putting it all together over the weekend. I am worried about the deadline for both of the creeping up on me. I'll be alright. For a while now I have wanted to go and study in a park, but I think it might be a little tricky at this stage as I need my laptop. One day I'll do it. I really need to work on my other blog about all the little wonderful things. Maybe soon. Probably not. Better go meet Jess now for shopping! Vintage bikes is the goal. I also need fabric paint for the awesome white canvas shoes I started working on to turn them into Oxfords thanks to Miss James. I'll have to put a picture up on my new blog. Great way to kick it off! Go me.

Thinking of home but knowing I'm right where I belong

Today I have been thinking about home a lot. I miss it, as I've said before, but when it comes down to it, I do love being here and doing this for myself after being freed from my 4+ year relationship, and I wouldn't rather being back home. I am here for a purpose, and I will get home from time to time but I belong here. I'm not sure how long I can stay away from home, as in over 1 year, but I'll need to get work, hopefully in the museum/heritage industry, and I believe that will mean staying here or going elsewhere, just not back to Hobart. I need to spread my wings and that's exactly what I'm doing. I just wish I had a partner to help me and be by my side while I do this. It would make everything more fun and easier. Oh how I wish I will find my perfect match here in Melbourne. The chances are greater at any rate.

So basically, I miss home a little but I'm not feeling extremely upset because I know I'm meant to be here and I've been waiting for this for 8 months. It's finally here and it feels right. It's just weird thinking about Hobart far, far away, as a place I know so well but am not in. I'm not explaining this very well but it both feels right and weird to be here and not home. I wouldn't go back to stay in Hobart, not for a few years anyway, but a visit will be nice. I might head back between May and June for dad and mums birthdays. Got to get settled here, get a job, then work for a while before taking off for how many ever days to a week. It wouldn't leave a good impression to my new boss[es]. I will have to look into bookstores. I don't want to work in hospitality but have the skills so it would be super easy to get a job. Depends where I'm living too. Work close to home is best. Time will tell. I want people to write back to me about these places! Better check my email.

I had a long chat to Sarah this evening. It was nice just talking to her although I wished I could have been in her new room with her. Another time. I'm staying here for a few months at least before I make a trip. Sad. Today is Megan and Joe's wedding day! They are now officially Mr. and Mrs. Pasanen. How lovely. I'm sad I didn't get to see it but photos will be fine.

Another good week ahead I believe! Monday is full Uni lectures, then Tuesday is full museum visits. I sure am looking forward to it all. Hopefully we'll discuss the assignments. As long as I get them sorted, the readings can come second. I just need more information from the lecturer, that's all. Right. More study and some TV I think, maybe Easy A again for a bit of a laugh.

Oh, not tomorrow but next Monday, Kirsten and I are going to see the last Girl With a Dragon Tattoo movie! I'm so excited. Mum, dad and I saw the first one together after some dinner at La Porchetta, then mum and I went and saw the second one. I'm sad I won't be doing this with mum but we'll do something similar another time, perhaps when she and dad visit. That will be nice. I can't wait to have my own room!!! EEEEE!

A lot of not much plus Hotmail!!

I'm looking through my old Hotmail account and some of the emails are funny and sweet, like from my friend Grace who isn't really my friend anymore. We don't hang out, that's what I mean, but you can't always stay in contact with everyone I suppose. Friends come and go like all people do. I was having a look in it originally to keep the account open, because I use it for my Facebook account as that's the one I started with and can't change it. I found some from my sister but I'm not sure where we both were at the time. It's as if one of us wasn't living at home, or like I was on a holiday but the year is wrong, so I went back to the start and it's kinda interesting. I haven't read many but want to figure out the ones with my sister. I might have moved out at that stage so it might be then. I guess that makes sense.

I feel like I'll be studying for the whole year non-stop. I am having a break now and my head feels better for it but there is so much to do. One thick book/reader each week would be enough but there are assignments on top of that and there isn't much of a break between the units. I hope it goes okay.

Had a look at some houses online last night with Kirsten. She found me some possibilities and I have contacted some and am just waiting now. Will set up an appointment for another Hawthorn one on Tuesday afternoon for maybe Wednesday but from the phone call I'm not sure if the person is what I'm looking for. She had an accent, possibly Indian, and I'm not racist but I just want someone like me, that's all. I'll find the right one eventually. She might be perfect! I won't know until I try.

I talked to mum this morning and it was nice to catch up with her and hear the gossip, the happenings. Megan and Joe are getting married tomorrow. I'm sad that I won't get to see it. I wasn't formally invited, maybe because they knew I was going away, but I'm sad I'll miss it anyway. I'll see some pictures.

I wrote an email to my aunts, the ones that were just out from the UK. I miss having them around. I can't wait to go and visit for years and see them more often. That will be nice.

Can't think of anything else to write. Hmm.

Hope, courage, and bravery.

So, what's new? No house news but I am secretly waiting for Sarah's ex housemate Nicole to get a job here and say she'll live with me. Until then I might wait. I had a bit of an almost breakdown on Wednesday going out to Uni and back for the text book. I had had a little look at some photos I've seen of James, George and Etta and it made me almost cry seeing them. On the tram I was sad. Damn hormones. My Pills ran out and I missed one and the hormones swept in. I've been feeling emotional since then. Drat. I can't remember my train of thought as I started this rant but I know it had a purpose. I wanted to say something else. I hate forgetting that kind of thing.

I have been getting into studying as of yesterday and am quite enjoying it. I have taken a little break now as dad got me thinking about external hard drives and he'll buy one for me there and put all the TV episodes from the Margate computer onto it then send it over. Mum will be getting some money from the Uni books I put up to be sold so they'll take the money out of that. I need to get a new laptop. Monica at the Mission got her mini laptop for $300 at Dick Smith but I might get a mid-sized one. Not too big, not too small. I can't choose between the two sizes. Small is great for lectures, train rides, and holidays, but bigger is better for writing assignments, watching TV shows and altering photographs etc.. You can always get a monitor for the smaller one but I may as well go for the medium sized type. I'm a bit worried about money at the moment so I'll wait until I'm settled in a house and have a job. I want one for under $500 if that's possible, which is should be.

The Mission was good yesterday. I did a lot of scanning until Monica's laptop had a nap as she forgot the power chord. Oops. Then we went on the computer there, had some lunch near the Police Museum, and went home by 3ish. I went to Centrelink after that and got all my business sorted. My address has been changed to here, at Kirsten's, and I have my temporary Health Care Card which gives me comfort on public transport when the ticket inspectors come and ask you for your tickets. Apparently you have to have the Health Care Card to qualify for a concession ticket. I was astonished when Kirsten told me. There are signs on the trams that I didn't see. Ha ha ha. Now I know and now I am safe. They've been on the trams twice, once the looked at the date, which I strategically only showed them, and the second time they didn't bother. Strange but a relief. I do like traveling on trams.

I do miss home a bit but I haven't cried about it. I miss the ease of the life there, knowing where everything is, and having family to be around all the time, but here I love the new adventure, Uni, being in Kirsten's house, and how everything is new and exciting. I love the lifestyle and yet I miss my old one. I almost cried on Wednesday because I was going to look at a bedsit in Richmond, which was already taken despite still being on the internet, and realise that I didn't want to live alone in this city because I would be so isolated. I wouldn't see my friends enough to get me by and would too often be alone. I came to the decision that I must live with someone. I'm not as brave as some people to live alone, even though in many ways I would prefer it, but at this stage I'm a coward. And that's okay. I am building up my bravery. One step at a time. I couldn't imagine living by myself for a year and not having family around to make it okay. In Tasmania it would be more than fine as the whole place is a comfort to me but here it would be too different and hard to deal with. I just hope it all works out with Nicole and that she would want to live with me. Eek. Otherwise I'm sure I'll be able to find someone like me and Nicole to live with. I won't limit myself to Richmond or Hawthorn, even though I'd love to live in either of those suburbs, because it's not too hard to get out to Uni from Kirsten's and it might make finding a place easier. I'll just have to wait and see.

Change doesn't always come easy, Scorpio -- even when it's a good change. You may be enduring some tempestuous circumstances now. There is a sense of upheaval, of confusion. But this is all clearing the way for a change in your life that will be a relief once is arrives and you recognize the difference in yourself and in those around you. Put a smile on your face, and know that whatever happens today and over the next few days will be for the greater good. Evolution is in progress.

Mini update

I am currently in the city on the internet in a cool cafe Jess introduced to me when we met up. I tried to look at houses but nothing's quite in my price range for just me. I haven't heard back from the Mary St place yet but there is another one I might check out this afternoon after I come back from Uni. The unit reader[s] I need are in so I'll go and get them then check out this place. I can go get the key from the real estate, which I'll have to figure out where to go to first while I'm on the internet. Tonight I'll talk to mum and dad and maybe James and George. They'll all be having dinner at home and I'm so excited to talk to them and tell them all about how Uni is going. I love the field trips. It's so much better than sitting in class! Eep. I did a little shopping and got myself some new movies, more period dramas. I can't wait to watch them. I got some Caesar salad from Sumo Salad and it was horrible but at least I've filled myself up. Now I just have to find somewhere to get a key cut and head to Uni and back then check out this house. Better get on the road!

Kirsten's birthday

Today is Kirsten's birthday! We had cake for breakfast. I had cereal either side of that so I don't feel so bad. The cake was alright. I don't have anywhere in particular to be today so I'm struggling a bit with what to do. I need to go to Centrelink and I need to call the Deakin bookshop because I'm missing one set of readers, which I didn't realise. I had listed all my units as online so they sent me the books, but I changed them to on campus study. I changed one back when I saw that there were the readers but not the other as the bookshop didn't mention anything about readers. I looked online last night and they don't have the ones I need in stock so I'll call them soon and ask if there are any anywhere. There is an online copy but I prefer having the physical book. So there's that! I will also vacuum this place for Kirsten before the birthday party tonight [combined] and I need to get in contact with George's cousin about having a meet up just for fun. There are some other little things I can't think of.

Yesterday I had my first day of volunteering at the Mission to Seafarers. It's so cruisy there. Monica taught me how to catalogue photographs so I did that for most of the day. The photographs were of the stained-glass windows in the Saint Peter the Mariner's Chapel and I found it hard to describe the and use religious or olden-day terms. I'm not so good at that. She got me to bring my laptop to do some scanning on but I didn't bring the CD drive thinking I wouldn't need it so I didn't actually use it. It was a bit of a waste to lug it around there and back. We finished at around 3pm and I went and met Nicole, Sarah's now ex flatmate from Tassie. We had a drink [hot chocolate for me, iced mocha for her] and a chat. Then I did some shopping and came back here. I did some more study, found lots of useful things on the Deakin website about unit resources and unit guides. Now I just have to find out about that last reader. It's for Monday so that's a bit annoying. Arrg.

Tomorrow I have that trial at Kamel. I'm not looking forward to it only because I'm used to not working anymore and I love it! I want to keep not working and just get Centrelink. I wonder if with all the study I'm sure I'll be doing if I'll have time for a job. I'll have one, hopefully two days of volunteering work, and that leaves three days. I might have to work on a few of them but I'll need one day free for sanity and for studying but I'm sure I'll always have to study. I take a long time to read one chapter so having lots of breaks in between works the best for me. Drat it.

I had a lovely chat to mum, Sarah, James, dad and George last night in that order. It was strange being on the other side as we usually call people who are far away and now that's me. It's strange not being there for the dinner I miss that. I didn't even know about it and that makes me a little sad. Now I get what Sarah meant about being out of the loop. It was so easy living there knowing everything that was going on. Thinking about it makes me a little sad now! And feeling crap about this trial is getting me down more. It would be nice to disapparate there Harry Potter style for lunch or something lovely. If only. I was thinking of going back for Easter but I had a look at flights for the 21st to the 25th or something and it'll be $300! That's not cool. I'll check for cheaper ones. I might have a week off Uni at some stage but I'm not quite sure yet. I might go then. Who knows.

It feels so natural and relaxed being in Melbourne and yet so much, or not so much, is still happening back home. It's strange to be missing out on that. It makes me sad that I'm missing out on seeing Etta grow up more and more. I'll be back to visit eventually and not let her go. Hehe.

I really want to get started on my running training. Once I'm settled in a house I'll have to start my 6-12 week program. Kirsten mentioned the half-marathon. She's going to enter and Sandi, one of her housemates, is also going to enter and yet she hasn't trained much. It's not until October so hopefully Sandi and I will be ready by then. Plenty of time. I really hope I get the Hawthorn house. Please! I doubt it but please!

What else is news? Not much. I can't wait to start Uni on Monday but first I have to get over the hurdle of this darn trial at Kamel. I might really like it and might even get a bit of cash for it which would be awesome. I'll just have to endure it. It won't last forever. It's a shame it's so far away though. I could do Friday and Saturday day shifts there for a while. I want to keep Sundays free. I hate working on Sundays.

I went into the Telstra shop yesterday and upgraded my internet from 500mb to 1g. I can't wait for it to kick in. I didn't even have to pay! I'm so excited about that. All I need now is a new computer with internet that works. Something lighter and smaller maybe. I'm not sure if I should get one of the mini laptops or just a normal sized one. Depends if it's really light or not. I like the idea of taking a small one traveling for the internet and storing photos. One day I might have both.

I will call the Uni bookshop and see what they say about the books.

Job, museum, friends and family

I had a job interview today at Kamel, a multi-cultural restaurant that Jess works at in South Melbourne. It didn't take long to get there on the tram and I might get a trial next week. Today I also went to the Immigration Museum and had a look around. I came across a lovely symbol for bravery that I'm considering as a tattoo. I'll have to scan it. I took a photo of it I might be able to get off Twitter. I need to be more brave and I think it'll remind me that I am brave. I'm proving that to myself here everyday. This afternoon I'm heading over to Kirsten's. She called me last night while I was heading back from Jess's house [we watched The Runaways and had a Thai curry] on the train and offered to have me over for a while. A German girl is staying I think and I'll be able to use Kirsten's room as she might stay at her bf Tom's. I got a $105 refund here at the YHA so hopefully I'll be able to head to K's tomorrow after my first day of O-Week! I can't wait to go there tomorrow. Super exciting. That's about all the news I have right now. I might go watch some more of Miss Potter before I get the tram to K's. Yahoo! Oh, I also had a chat to mum and dad this morning. I'm so glad things are so much less stressful than Sydney. It was great to talk to mum too.

Hangs with Holly and Monika and packing and moving!

I met up with Holly today and we had a cup of tea at Fullers book shop in the Afterword Cafe. It was really nice catching up. Adult. As it turns out she'll be flying to Melbourne on the same day and same flight I am for a job interview! So we'll meet there and catch the Sky Bus in and get some food. We talked about my plans for the first few days there and she helped me set a goal to get a house/place first then let everything else happen, like sorting out some volunteer positions and a job. I hope I can find somewhere great within the first week so I don't have to stay at the Backpacker's too long. Please!

After meeting Holly I went next door to visit my old friend Monika. We sat outside and had a cup of tea overlooking Mt Wellington. It's such a great view and you can see so much more from there than our place, which is 100m away maybe, because our block has so many trees. It's still a lovely place though and I do dearly love it. It's just nice seeing a different view. I am so excited about moving to Melbourne and getting on with my life. It all changes permanently on Thursday! Yay! I can't wait to get a place and be settled. That in between period scares me a bit but hopefully it won't last too long. I can't wait to start class! Eep.

Tonight we're down at the Longs for dinner. Daddy's just having a shower and we'll head off. Tomorrow at 11 Sarah and I are going to visit Nan and Pa, then we'll grab some lunch then come home and I'll do more packing. Maybe she can help me with that. Then it's dinner with James, George and Etta. I can't wait to see Etta's first tooth. What a milestone! Eeeep again. I can't wait to get my stuff sorted. I always leave this stuff until the last minute, like assignments, but I just have to get it done. I'm more productive then I believe. I just don't know what to do with all the other stuff I won't take with me. Clean/tidy it up? I don't know. I'll be back every so often and can sort stuff out then. I'll probably take more things with me. Who knows until I get there and settled. I've packed boxes of things I'll definitely want like towels/tea-towels, Uni books, kitchen stuff, clothes and DVDs/books, so they can be sent over once I'm settled but everything else? No idea. I'll just do what I can.

Right! Off to dinner now. Yum, I'm rather hungry.

Things to do before I move to Melbourne on Thursday

I have a lot to do before Thursday. Thursday doesn't count as a day I can do anything though because it's the day I leave Hobart! It's taken me a while but I'll get there. I need to call or visit my Grandparents and finish packing and organising boxes of stuff for my parents to send me. I have to take the dog for a walk tomorrow and Wednesday. I am seeing Holly at 3 tomorrow and hopefully Andi before that. Then it's to the Long's [the neighbours] for dinner. Wednesday I'm meeting sister at 1 in town for lunch and a wander, then it's home. That night is a pizza dinner with everyone but mum as she's away. Hopefully I can fit it all in. I'm most worried about the packing I think and the amount of time that takes up. It might be hard to fit anything else in. As long as Andi can work around my schedule! Time has suddenly run out. I also need to organise houses to view once I get to Melbourne. It might pay to schedule some earlier but then again it may not. I'd feel better doing it though. They might get snapped up before I even get there but they may not. We'll see. I think that's about it. I'll just have to get up earlier and focus on packing and utilise the time I have. It can be done!

Tonight I went and had Cool Thai with Emma and we hung at her place for a bit. I love our Cool Thai dates. They're awesome. Then I went to Jessi's and we chatted lots. It was really nice. Then I got home and had chats with dad. We're both quiet so it's nice when we have chats. They're uncommon but that makes them special. I usually talk to mum about everything and I know they know what the other knows. Hmm.

I can't wait to get settled in Melbourne. I don't like this in-between period but it has to happen unfortunately. I'll be quite busy though so that's comforting. I just hope I find a place soon/straight away so I don't have to spend more money in the back packers and so I can be settled before Uni officially starts on the 7th. Plenty of time, right? I hope so.

Stream of consciousness

I haven't been updating as I normally do since writing in Twitter. Because I've written what I'm thinking/obsessing about in some form, I forget to do it in this form. Sarah and I saw No Strings Attached at the movies on Wednesday night. We had popcorn and frozen cokes and I had a vanilla ice cream. We were so stuffed. I had already had a lovely dinner out on the deck with mum and dad. They had bbq meat and I had bbq'd salmon and we had a nice salad. It was a nice, warm day on Wednesday. On Monday we did the same, having lunch out on the deck. It's these things that I forget to write. It was nice hanging out with them. I have also been re-reading Twilight and I love it. I want someone to ask me a million questions about myself and for me to do the same with them. That's what I love about their relationship. Amongst other things of course. I wish I could be in their world, or at least replaying it all over in my mind the way I see it, and the way it was written down. The movie has its good parts, like showing me how they run really fast and those types of scenes, but the little things aren't in there and that's a shame. I like the movie and the book in my head better. Today and yesterday the day was overcast and colder. Last night we had a family dinner and Etta was as cute as ever. Wednesday night next week, minus mum, we'll have a pizza night for my second going away do. Mum goes to Kuala Lumpur this Saturday for a week so she won't be here to say bye to me but I'll see her this afternoon and tomorrow morning before she goes. I'm out with Sophie tonight, which I kind of feel guilty about regarding mum, but it's not as if we won't see each other again. We shall, only in Melbourne! I am really looking forward to getting on with things and starting my life. Enough of this limbo. I'm over it. I really hope Emma moves with me so we can get our own cute house and I can eat healthily and exercise regularly. Ooh I hope. There is so much volunteering to do and Uni to do. I'm excited to get started. I could go and take Katie for a walk but I can't really be bothered and mum hasn't specified for me to or not. I will tomorrow for sure and Sunday and Monday and Tuesday and Wednesday but dad will have to Thursday and Friday as he'll be here alone. Even though there is heaps of time before I have to leave to go to Medicare then to Sophie's for 5pm I feel pressured by the possibility of walking Katie. I should do mum that favour. Hmm. More episodes for now though.

Another hot day

I finally got my hair cut again today. Funnily enough it's been growing out but it's been getting a bit too long and silly so this morning I booked in at the Margate hairdressers for 145 and it's done. I don't quite know how it looks but I'll style it up nicely. I'll work around if it's not as great as I hoped. It's still a little damp and definitely not styled so I can't tell. Never mind.

I went to Uni today and have put my books in to be sold. I have to check in with them in one or two weeks to see if they've been sold, then I can claim my money! I had 7 books in, most for $30-35 and one at $18 so that'll make roughly $200 I think. Wow! That'll be a nice bonus if they all sell, which I am strongly hoping they do. I will be away though so I'll call them to check if they have been sold then send mum maybe to go and pick up the money for me, if she'll do that. I think she will. I also dumped a heap of old clothes into the Lifeline bin. Someone will definitely use them as I haven't for years. It's nice to cleans stuff like that.

I think my sister Sarah and I will be going to the movies tomorrow. I want to see Going the Distance and No Strings Attached and Gnomeo and Juliet and Black Swan and 127 hours and Tangled again. I'm not sure which one we'll see together, maybe No Strings Attached or Black Swan or 127 hours. She isn't as into animated movies as I am. Well that might be untrue but we love our chick-flicks.

Last night I had to abandon my room because I was pretty much surrounded by huntsmen spiders. Why can't they leave me alone!? Every time I go into that room I have to check and see if there are spiders on the roof [the roof is an a-frame] and if so get rid of them. Otherwise I can't sleep if I know they're there somewhere. That happened last night. I found one that I couldn't get, killed a baby looking one, then when I snapped awake thinking there were more, after 10 seconds of using my phone as a torch there was one crawling near where my head was only moments before!!! So I left my room for one of the other rooms over in the big house and that was that. I had a better sleep knowing the room was spider-free but also couldn't stop thinking about them. I HATE THEM! I wish they would all die die DIE! Arr. So I'm not sleeping over there ever again. Hah!

I am trying to look up cinemas in Melbourne. I want to be prepared for lonely nights while staying at the backpackers. That's what keeps me entertained although I shouldn't have a hard time with that due to my busy schedule.

I really need to wash my hair and get all the excess bits off my neck and top. They keep stabbing me!

Graceful and free

Anna means grace/graceful.

Frances means free.

Grace/graceful is onkei in Japanese.

I love that Holly means hiiragi. That's the name of her sewing business. I wanted one so we found this today. Onkei is cute. It can be a nickname for myself! Hehe.

It was so nice catching up with her today and talking about Melbourne. We had a hot drink over in Salamanca at Say Cheese [I'd never been there] then I went to drop in my final piece of assessment for Fronting MONA, then went back to Holly's boat for a few hours for more chats. We also looked up my/our rising and moon signs.

Sun sign -- Scorpio

Scorpios stubbornly cling to emotional attachments. They rarely forget or forgive emotional rejection. They have to learn that jealousy and possessiveness are self-defeating. Rechanneling negative feelings and experiences into constructive activity benefits others, as well as themselves. No other sign has the emotional strength as Scorpio (Daily Horoscope run down).

Rising sign -- Capricorn

With this Ascendant, you come across as serious, cold, disciplined, patient, focused, thoughtful, ambitious, indomitable, cautious, lucid, persistent, provident, steady, introverted, stern, willful, hard-working, responsible, persevering, honest, realistic, loyal, reserved, resolute, moralistic, quiet, rigorous, attached and reliable. But you may also be curt, withdrawn, calculating, petty, cruel, unpleasant, ruthless, selfish, dull, rigid, slow or skeptical.

Moon sign -- Leo

The Moon in Leo tries hard to create a decent and elegant lifestyle. He or she insists on buying clothes and items which are special in some way...

Playing, celebrating and partying are the best ways for Moon in Leo people to restore their energy after periods of stress. For good self-esteem, every now and again they also need to be viewed, appreciated, and adored.

If they don't have enough love in their life, Moon Leos can have problems with their heart, circulatory system or their general levels of physical energy. Problems with vision are also quite typical.

So that's me!

I'm so glad to be done with my essay. It'll be nice to relax tomorrow and watch movies or plan for Melbourne. I just won't want to have to do anything. That will be nice. Then again I'll be doing a lot of that I think. I also hope tomorrow I will feel better. Sarah and I went out on Wednesday night to Cbar for dinner and drinks, then to her place with 2 bottles of Trevi, then to Mobius for dancing. We stayed out until 530am. I have had a sore neck since waking up at 12noon that afternoon and all through today. I have also been feeling horrible. I'm not a fan! I just want to feel normal again. I hope it happens tomorrow. Please!

Burwood

Burwood sounds like such a nice place to live! Nicole, Sarah's current house-mate and my semi-friend [we don't know each other well but have nice chats when I'm over and go to my brother's band's gigs together], just shared a good house hunting website with me. It says --

Burwood is one of the loveliest parts of Melbourne, the streets are quiet and tree lined, with shops, banks, gymnasiums, medical and dental assistance. All your requirements are just a short walk from your door.

They included this cute photo as well. Aww! I love cutesy maps. They make things so easier to understand.

All alone again

So my aunts left not too long ago, about an hour ago, and I'm feeling sad and alone in myself. I'm sad that they've left as it was nice having someone here all the time for back up when there was no one else here and to do things with, and now that they're gone I miss that. What I really miss is having a partner, the guy to complete me, to do things with, and share a life with. That's what I want and that's definitely what I don't have.

I don't want to do it all alone and alone I will be for a while at least. I do want to get in shape before I meet someone, but I'll go with the flow as love or a deep friendship might surprise me. I think about moving to Melbourne and I'm still scared even though I'll have friends there just because of the fact that I will be alone. I really want a partner to share it all with and to help me live life without being scared. With someone by my side I know I can do more. That sounds a bit pathetic but that's just me I guess.

I hate that I have to go to work today in some ways because of how I'm feeling, but it'll be good for me to get out, earn some money, and take my mind off things. I have plenty of time to feel crappy like this.

I like when mum and I are on the same wavelength talking about my future. We had a really good chat last night at dinner with Jan and Fra [the New Sydney] and I have decided to only focus on step 1. Step 1 is going to Melbourne and completing my diploma of museum studies. I have no idea what will come after that but I just need this focus to begin with. Anything can happen after that. I was about to write some ideas but I just have to leave it at this for now. Complete step 1 and decide from there. Getting work is the main idea.

I really liked having Jan and Fra here. It's always better when I'm older as I remember more and am more adult. Last night we went to dinner at the New Sydney. It was a bit of a shambles with getting a good table even though we booked and we had to sit on the stage. They are the nice tables but when the band comes and tries to set up around you it's a bit awkward. In the day we went to the Leworthy's for morning tea in the sun, then met up with Sarah and went to Bellerive for lunch and a stroll around the semi-boardwalk. Then it was to the Cascade Gardens to meet up for a drink with dad's friend Adrian who runs the place. Too much sun for me. I hate the heat. Then it was home and we all, minus Sarah plus mum, sat on the deck and had a glass of champagne before dinner. The day before, dad, Jan and Fra and I went to the Maritime Museum for a wander then to the TMAG [Tasmanian Museum and Art Gallery] Courtyard for a bite and a beer [strawberry milkshake for me]. I wish I had written more down or remembered it more as now there are no more outings. I feel depressed. There have been lots of walks, like the Snug Falls one we did earlier in the week then to the Pancake Train in Margate. I didn't go with them sometimes. I just miss them and I miss that company because I now feel so alone and I don't want to be alone or go through life alone. Friends just don't cut it.

I need to snap out of this, or at least get on with my day. I have to shower and get ready for work with my dad, then head to my sister's to drop off her birth certificate then head to work for 4-5 hours with my dad. I'm meant to be meeting up with Sophie for drinks but I'm not sure I can be bothered. I'll see how I go. That means I might have to pack extra clothes. Drat it.

Right, definitely time to get off the internet and brave it and deal with the aloneness. I have a catch up with Holly to look forward to on Friday. All this week I need to spend it writing my essay. I might take it outside or just sit downstairs in the sun room. I find my room a bit depressing when I'm alone.

I'm mad at myself for not remembering more about their trip. I can look over my blog and see what's what. I know they went to Stanley for a while and there were lots of dinners and Etta fixes and things like that. I don't know why it bothers me so much! Arr.

January 2011

January has been a fine month. Nothing spectacular. This month I struggled with the two options of Sydney and Melbourne and by the end of the month, Melbourne won. Some lovely things have happened, like Jan and Fra coming out, finishing working at thebeach, and Etta starting to use her voice more but then the whole Sydney trip was a bit of a waste although I did need to go so I wouldn't regret not trying. I thought I had to go sooner rather than later to get settled and all of that but as it turns out, I don't want to do it all alone and Melbourne isn't looking as bad now I've let go of Sydney. It'll be much more fun, that's for sure.

In January I --

+ Saw Kyü at Mona Foma;

+ Spent Australia day with Kirsten and her two friends;

+ Made a list of things I want in my life -- house, career, to move states, travel and live in the UK;

+ Gained weight;

+ Figured out what my first tattoo will be but bolted when I realised it would be $90. It's too much money at the moment but if it's cheaper it might be nastier. It's something for Melbourne I think;

+ Met my lovely Welsh friend Sarah at the backpacker's whilst in Sydney. I now have someone to visit when I go over to the UK; and

+ Attended the Fronting MONA unit and went out to MONA for 4 days.

For February, I am going to relax more and not rush into heading to Melbourne. I have to finish my essay for Fronting MONA and I can start studying for my diploma. I think it will be a quiet month.

Happy February

I am home. I'm glad to be home but a little stressed already because I won't be working and I'm sure I won't want to be cooped up at home everyday for the next few weeks to a month. It is Jan and Fra's last few days here so that'll be fun. I also have an essay to write and I can start studying for Deakin as I have more of the books! It'll all work out.