I'm back!

I am so bad. I haven't written in months. It's not that I didn't want to. First it was the fact that I didn't have regular internet access. Then I got used to not writing, but now some major developments have arisen that I want to document. I'm just lazy but I want this hiatus to be over.

Working at Velduo is going good as usual. I can't wait until I have a 'real' job though in cultural heritage. That'll be amazing. I have been working occasionally at Watermark as well and that's fine too. More cruisy, which I like. It's comparable to working at Relish, as Veludo is to thebeach. I like that I'm getting cash in hand so I can get Centrelink as well. I'm naughty but everyone does it.

Uni is going well. There have been so so so many assignments to do. My assignment schedule is insane. Seriously I hate it. I'm in the second 'trimester' now, currently in the middle of World Heritage. I have already finished the on-campus classes for Collections and Movable Cultural Heritage and handed in the first assignment for that yesterday. I'm still finishing off assignments for Cultural Landscapes. The last one was due yesterday but I had to get an extension because the case study I chose was too hard. I'm focusing on Sullivan's Cove now and its management issues. Once I find those I will feel like I'm in a better position. At the moment I'm a bit stressed about it because I don't have much to write about. Drat those management issues!! Where are you? My last assignment is due on the day after my birthday, but I'm planning to get that done earlier. I don't want it to ruin my birthday! Then all I'll have is the field placement unit and I'll be set! I'm planning to do that back home. My plans have certainly changed, and all because of the results of one night.

On Thursday the 14th of July, Nicole, Glenn and I hung out. We had ciders at the Young and Jackson's rooftop cider bar near Flinder's Street Station then went to Bimbos for $4 pizzas. It was a lot of fun. Nicole and Glenn had worked together at Wrest Point and I knew him through Yorick, through Apples, through Helen. He had contacted me a few months earlier saying that we should catch up while he was in Melbourne and we did. At Bimbos, Glenn sent me a text message while sitting next to me. He was going to say something, and I bugged it out of him. He said he wasn't sure if he should say it. The text said that he thought we flirted well. We all decided to go and see Harry Potter 7 Part 2 at the movies and he had his arm on the arm rest and I took it. We ended up kissing. They were the best kisses ever. We all caught a cab back to the YHA, then Glenn went back to his hotel. We met up the next day. I tried to get out of working at Watermark but I couldn't, but we met up between my shift there and the one at Veludo. I met him at the Flinder's steps. We caught the free tram to Spencer Street then caught the 96 to St Kilda and sat on the beach. He was carrying all his luggage with him. We talked and laughed. On the free tram he couldn't believe it when I said I was 24. On the 96 we were facing each other on different sides of the tram and had our legs connecting. Once we were walking on the beach, I got him to stop and we kissed. Then we sat down on the beach and talked. We walked up to Veludo and stood outside and kissed and hugged, and he held his arms up a few times to make us stop touching, probably because it was getting a bit heated. He he he. Then I went to work. We met up a week later when I went back to Tassie for Etta's first birthday [July 24th]. We met outside the Maritime after I had finished talking to Rona about an assignment. He had shaved his mountain man beard. We walked around Battery Point and talked and talked. Then we sat on a bench near the back of TMAG near the courtyard before he went off and I had dinner at Cool Thai and $10 cosmopolitans with Emma, Sarah, and Holly. After that, Sarah and I went back to hers. Glenn picked me up from there. We went back to his place and hung out in his room. I had a look at his DVD collection and pointed out all the ones I liked. He groaned because we have a lot of things in common. I got lost on the way back to his bedroom from the bathroom. I stood still. He found me and didn't laugh as such but said I'll be alright in a cute I like you way. We undressed each other, although he went to the bathroom and came back in only his red shorts/pants/undies. The sex was amazing, seriously the best ever. It was so nice sleeping next to him. We did it again in the morning, had an amazing shower together, and went out for breakfast down the road. We hung out at his place for the rest of the day until I went home for dinner. On Saturday we hung out again and I stayed over. I can't remember what we did. On Sunday morning we had a spa together. It was awesome. Then I went home quickly before heading over to James and George's for Etta's birthday party. Super cute. Then I hung out with Sophie at thebeach, then Monika, then home for tea before heading back up to see Glenn. That morning I had gotten a bit sad. I also got sad before I left. Backtracking a bit, we had been texting all week and kinda built up the sex, or unwrapping me, because I was his late birthday present and him my early present. He he. Amazing. So we hung out for an hour and a bit before he went to cricket and I headed to James and George's so James could take me out to the airport. Glenn said to me to tell him if things get too hard to tell him, to promise. I did. I was sad to go. After that we texted and talked on the phone and I planned another trip down in two weeks, just to see him. I felt helpless before that trip was booked. I just came back from this second trip three days ago. I went down on Monday morning. Sarah picked me up and I hung at her place until Glenn got me at 4. We went to his place then picked up James and headed to his place to see Etta and G and have pizza! Sarah joined us. Glenn likes my family. They liked him too. Then we went to his house. We were going to see a movie but I was super tired so we hung out in his room instead. It was awesome. More great sex. We put onSource Code to watch but we saw none of it. None of the entire thing... He he he. On Tuesday he went to work. I studied in his bed. Then I met mum for some Spotlight shopping, then met Glenn after that. We went to the Post Office briefly then walked to my car near Sarah's in West Hobart then went to his place. We watched some anime then had a date at Mee Wah. So fancy! He has an alergy to seafood but he didn't get sick. Then we saw Hanna at the State. It was awesome. We were going to get Cold Rock but it was closed by the time the movie got out. Sad. Then we went back to his place and I stroked his back with soft fingers for ages. He said it was the best night ever and that he had never felt so relaxed before. It was bliss. On Wednesday morning we got up at 930. He was meant to go back to the Post Office and get his passport photos done, then see the passport people, but had to change plans. We had a shower together, he shaved then got back in. We went to the Post Office and were talking about heavy stuff and I got a bit upset. I had promised myself that if I came on that trip I wouldn't cry, because otherwise I wouldn't have seen him for a whole month instead of having a two week break in between. He wanted me to look at him when I started getting emotional but I didn't want to. I had to go outside and have a breather and get myself under control. He said he has the same feelings as me but I'm more open about it. I cry too easily. It's true. Then we walked down to Salamanca, I took a photo of the Tasmanian Mission to Seafarers, who knew right!?, then we went to the Vietnamese Kitchen for 'breakfast' and had more deeper conversations. Then we went to Margate for an hour for lunch, a play with Etta, then he took me to the airport. He dropped me off and he left reasonably quickly. I thought he was going to come in but it turned out that I didn't have to wait long. I missed him already and still do. The flight went by with my nodding off and doing that head jerk thing. Slightly embarrassing! I got back to Melbourne and he sent me a text, and he said he was glad I was safe. We've talked on the phone most days since, not that many but still. We're going to do a Google+ Hangout tomorrow. He's coming over at the start of September before he heads to Europe until the end of September. Then he'll be back with me. We'll hang for around 5 days either side of his trip. We'd better have a house by then! Then I'm going back home from the 24th of October to the 3rd of November to be with him and to celebrate turning 25. Woah. Hopefully I can do another 10 days in November. I want to go back to Hobart to be with him. He's concerned because he doesn't want me to give anything up to be with him. I'm not 100% sure about it but I want to be with him full-time and I think we have potential. He likes the idea but yes, he trusts me, but is concerned. Sweet. I have my own concerns but I'll only do it if I'm sure. I'll have Etta and my family there, a job in cultural heritage, I'll get my own place, go to the gym, experience more of Hobart by Glenn's side, know how far we can go, and if it doesn't turn out how I hope, then I can go off and travel the world as originally planned. I want to do that anyway while I'm back there, if I move back. Time will tell. We're not deciding anything yet. I just want to be with him. We talked for quite a while this afternoon. For the whole tram ride back from St Kilda and even more while I walked to the YHA and I even sat outside for a bit. He clarified that he sending me that text in Bimbos was his green light. I wasn't sure if grabbing his hand wasn't what he wanted, because he's a bit sarcastic and when we were talking in the Vietnamese Kitchen he made it sound like it was my fault, but that was just Glenn being Glenn. We're in a relationship now, he said. I don't regret it. He said when I was back and we were walking that he only regrets us because of how it could end, not because we would fall out of love or one of us cheated on the other, but because we wouldn't be able to see each other enough. How sad. It's a funny situation but I wouldn't take it back. Never. Ever. His sister Laura likes me already and has been in contact with me on Facebook. She's never done this with any of his ex's. I like that. I'll meet them all in October when I'm down. He he. I really like this one. I think he's great. He's mature. He's 28. He used to be in the circus. He's still performing a bit but he busted his shoulder so that ruined things a bit. He has great hair. He's taller than me but still short. He's beautiful. He things I'm beautiful. He makes me laugh. We're cruisy when we're together and we both love that. No stress. We both hate that we have had to have all these intense talks because of the distance but he doesn't mind. He's charming, but he said he's argumentative. He's a Taurus. He smells great. He likes my bum. I think it's too big. I just love being with him. I miss him and I want to be in the same place as he is. Sigh. I think we could go pretty far. He was shocked when I told him Y and I had been together for 4 years. His longest relationship was 2.5 years. I've been with more people than he has and earlier. I've done drugs. He hasn't. I'm so naughty compared to him. He is a bit funny about the age gap. I'm not. He doesn't care too much about if we do or don't have sex. That suits me fine. It used to be a chore but not now. I miss his hugs and kisses. Oh that boy. We're part-time. I don't like that but it's better than nothing. I'm surprised I slotted back into my life here so easily. I cried a little that night, only because I was exhausted, but fine after that. I just wish I were there experiencing life alongside him. I still have him, just not physically. I can't wait until we get time together again. If Nicole, Amy and her partner Gav/Gavin, aren't in a house before the start of September, we'll stay in a room together somewhere, maybe at the YHA, or somewhere else, but it'd be so nice to have him in my own room, to celebrate getting one. We're so compatible. I love it. We are alike in many ways. Or have the same interests. He said he'd been looking for someone who likes anime as much as he did for most of his life. That's me. We're dating. We're in a relationship. He is friends with all his ex's. I like that idea. I'm not with mine. I like him a lot. So much.

So that's enough for now.

Nicole, Amy and Gavin and I are all looking for a 3 bedroom house together. Hopefully we have somewhere before September, as was the aim, but perhaps not. By September for sure. They're fairly desperate. I've been here for 5.5 months. Things haven't gone as planned but that's okay. I've learned a lot and I am grateful I'm here.

Now it's time for a quick chat to my parents to find out what they think of Glenn and then homework! Sigh.

Things are getting better

Things are looking up! I had the job trial today at Spinifex where Jess works as a chef and I'll be getting a call on Wednesday with shifts and more details so that's exciting! Zack, the owner I guess, who was on coffee's all day asked me if I wanted to come back. Apparently it's not usually that busy. It was just because we had a huge booking and everyone else came in at the same time. I'm used to that kind of busy from thebeach so it wasn't so bad it's just because it was a new job for me and I'm not used to it and don't know how to do everything that it was a bit hard. It was fine though. It's cash in hand and I got $60 for today, which I am completely surprised about, but I don't think the general pay-rate is that high, but it's a start and it'll help me along with Centrelink. So I've had a good day. I got up and got my stuff into the storage room at the Greenhouse and had some free toast and vegemite with Teresa, my other new German friend, then caught the tram to Kensington Station just opposite Spinifex. If I had been 10 minutes later I wouldn't have made the trial. Eek. Oh, apparently there may only be 2 waitresses on usually but today it was great having 3. It would have been interesting for them if I wasn't there. I'm looking forward to mastering it.

My daily horoscope
Someone may be telling you that you are expecting too much from a romance, friendship, or a work situation. You may even be critiquing yourself, and believing that if only you could be less strict in your requirements that you would be much happier. But most people settle, Scorpio. And therefore, most people believe that other people should settle. After all, misery loves company. You actually have the right idea. Stick to your guns. Remain loyal to your core needs and desires, and you will do fine -- even if it take you longer to find what you're looking for.

This could have something to do with the JD letter and the kind of answer's I'm looking for in regards to his response. I want to know what he's thinking about the whole thing. I'm not expecting much but at least to be friends would be nice and the possibility of seeing each other again for a similar occurance, even though it might not be that good for me because of my ability to attach. Eek. It could also be to do with work. I don't know. It's a good one though.

I really want a bowl of veggies for dinner. I might go up to Thai Culinary and see what they have and if not I'll just get the fried rice with vegies. Nicole tried that with beef and it looked good. Huge too.

I was thinking in the Greenhouse lift today that I think I'm over Yorick but not quite over JD. JD was awesome to cuddle in bed but Yorick was all boney and small. That's a nice thing to smile about. I love rethinking the whole night with JD. I loved the way we first kissed and I am starting to remember small things from that night. I don't remember much though. I was pretty drunk. I remember us talking on the stairs but not feeling any vibes. Drunkness might account for that though. I remember saying I wished I could dance like Liam Finn on the video clip for Second Chance. They asked me to do it but I froze, not in a shy way, but in the way that I was trying to process actually doing it and I couldn't. I said I'd have to look at the video. Weird. I loved that he talked to me first when I got to the party. He talked me through all the rules. When we were first kissing we told each other how we had wanted to be with each other throughout the night. He said it was from when I first walked in. I knew it too. I want that again. I needed to write the letter. I hope he writes back. Little things on Facebook like liking each others statuses or writing little comments isn't enough. It isn't a conversation. It would have been awesome to see each other again. I want to know when he's coming over again!!

Ahh dear. Talked to mum and dad tonight, and Sarah. Going over for Etta's birthday might be tricky as I'm sure I have a class on the Monday. Her birthday is on the Sunday so I might have to get a 10pm flight that evening. I could come over on the Wednesday evening or the Thursday. Something to think about.

Regarding archaeology. I can apply to do it at LaTrobe University [Graduate Certificate in Humanities and Social Sciences] or Melbourne University [Graduate or Postgraduate Diploma in Arts]. Eep! Melbourne Uni is so much closer!! I'll see what happens. I'll apply to both. Yay! I can't wait to do that. It'll be so awesome.

Must go and get some food then go back to the Space Hotel where I'm staying with Nicole for at least tonight. I do need to do a bit of Uni work but I feel like I'll be handing it in late. Eek. I'll have a full-on study day tomorrow but it's due tomorrow. It won't be done by then! I was planning on having today to finish it off but the whole moving thing plus the trial took much longer than expected. Hmm. Maybe I'll be handing it in on Wednesday! Yikes. I'd better get a move on then.

Study girl

Ah Uni. I've been here for a few hours at least and am about to leave and return to Kirsten's. I might need a chocolate bar first. I'm feeling pretty drained. I've been doing research on my assignments and for the AIM721 Cultural Policy Report I am thinking I'll change from the NGV to the British Museum. I've already found more than I ever did with the NGV. It was all much easier too. I just hope I have the right things. I'll have to ask Dana and Vicky about their findings. I will also take a trip out to Rippon Lea House and Gardens soon to analyse it for the first assignment for AIM723. So I'm feeling more prepared for that. Oh drat. I'm meant to return a book for that assignment and I haven't even read it. Oopsies. I might have to see if I can renew it. The others aren't due for a while. Tomorrow is my job trial at The Mess Hall. I need to go shopping afterwards for presents for the housemates. Then Sunday is moving day! Eep. I'm so excited to be settled and feel more at home than I do at Kirsten's as it's not and never will be my home. Not that the back packers will but it's closer to having my own space. I bought a ticket to see Karnivool at the Corner Hotel on the 9th of June! I'm so exited. Nicole Tweeted about it earlier today and I bought it on my way here to Uni. I'm so excited. Now all I need to do is get the Seekae ticket and I'll be set. I might even go and see The Cat Empire! I'm so excited. This is what I've been missing being here in Melbourne. It's what everyone's doing and I want to do it too. So I shall. Nicole will be my gig Yoda. I'm sure of it. Right. Better go back 'home'. Dinner? Oh it's Friday. Everywhere will be busy. I might actually get some thai although I do have some spaghetti back 'home'. Hmm. Oh, I talked to Centrelink this morning and apparently I had been being paid the wrong amount. I'll be getting more. Maybe I can go and buy a new laptop soon! I had better wait until I get settled in a home though. Yes, I"ll wait. I'm glad I"ll be getting more money though.

Hope, courage, and bravery.

So, what's new? No house news but I am secretly waiting for Sarah's ex housemate Nicole to get a job here and say she'll live with me. Until then I might wait. I had a bit of an almost breakdown on Wednesday going out to Uni and back for the text book. I had had a little look at some photos I've seen of James, George and Etta and it made me almost cry seeing them. On the tram I was sad. Damn hormones. My Pills ran out and I missed one and the hormones swept in. I've been feeling emotional since then. Drat. I can't remember my train of thought as I started this rant but I know it had a purpose. I wanted to say something else. I hate forgetting that kind of thing.

I have been getting into studying as of yesterday and am quite enjoying it. I have taken a little break now as dad got me thinking about external hard drives and he'll buy one for me there and put all the TV episodes from the Margate computer onto it then send it over. Mum will be getting some money from the Uni books I put up to be sold so they'll take the money out of that. I need to get a new laptop. Monica at the Mission got her mini laptop for $300 at Dick Smith but I might get a mid-sized one. Not too big, not too small. I can't choose between the two sizes. Small is great for lectures, train rides, and holidays, but bigger is better for writing assignments, watching TV shows and altering photographs etc.. You can always get a monitor for the smaller one but I may as well go for the medium sized type. I'm a bit worried about money at the moment so I'll wait until I'm settled in a house and have a job. I want one for under $500 if that's possible, which is should be.

The Mission was good yesterday. I did a lot of scanning until Monica's laptop had a nap as she forgot the power chord. Oops. Then we went on the computer there, had some lunch near the Police Museum, and went home by 3ish. I went to Centrelink after that and got all my business sorted. My address has been changed to here, at Kirsten's, and I have my temporary Health Care Card which gives me comfort on public transport when the ticket inspectors come and ask you for your tickets. Apparently you have to have the Health Care Card to qualify for a concession ticket. I was astonished when Kirsten told me. There are signs on the trams that I didn't see. Ha ha ha. Now I know and now I am safe. They've been on the trams twice, once the looked at the date, which I strategically only showed them, and the second time they didn't bother. Strange but a relief. I do like traveling on trams.

I do miss home a bit but I haven't cried about it. I miss the ease of the life there, knowing where everything is, and having family to be around all the time, but here I love the new adventure, Uni, being in Kirsten's house, and how everything is new and exciting. I love the lifestyle and yet I miss my old one. I almost cried on Wednesday because I was going to look at a bedsit in Richmond, which was already taken despite still being on the internet, and realise that I didn't want to live alone in this city because I would be so isolated. I wouldn't see my friends enough to get me by and would too often be alone. I came to the decision that I must live with someone. I'm not as brave as some people to live alone, even though in many ways I would prefer it, but at this stage I'm a coward. And that's okay. I am building up my bravery. One step at a time. I couldn't imagine living by myself for a year and not having family around to make it okay. In Tasmania it would be more than fine as the whole place is a comfort to me but here it would be too different and hard to deal with. I just hope it all works out with Nicole and that she would want to live with me. Eek. Otherwise I'm sure I'll be able to find someone like me and Nicole to live with. I won't limit myself to Richmond or Hawthorn, even though I'd love to live in either of those suburbs, because it's not too hard to get out to Uni from Kirsten's and it might make finding a place easier. I'll just have to wait and see.

Change doesn't always come easy, Scorpio -- even when it's a good change. You may be enduring some tempestuous circumstances now. There is a sense of upheaval, of confusion. But this is all clearing the way for a change in your life that will be a relief once is arrives and you recognize the difference in yourself and in those around you. Put a smile on your face, and know that whatever happens today and over the next few days will be for the greater good. Evolution is in progress.

Day 2 and horoscopes

Oh my gosh I am broken. I have a headache and feel weird. It must be the heat and all the learning. Today at Uni we had a lecture in the morning then went to the Schwerkolt Cottage and Historical Museum. It was quite amazing. I got a lift from a lady there and back to Kirsten's and I am so glad to be back. I'm frustrated about not having my own place though. I don't want to outstay my welcome here.

A nice, inspiring and through-provoking horoscope for me today --

If you are looking for security, Scorpio, you will have to find it in yourself -- not in exterior forces like money, prestige, power, or other people. All of those can come and go. There are no guarantees. The only way to gain confidence and self esteem is to build it internally. That begins with faith -- faith in yourself, faith in your abilities, faith in those who love you, and faith in the universe. Now more than ever you need to trust that the cosmos knows what you need, and will provide it. When you can reach a sense of balance in that regard, you will gain a sense of security that no one can shatter.

My horoscope from Saturday the 5th --

If you have been feeling stressed and pressured recently by money or security-related issues, you will soon be able to breathe a sign of relief. New opportunities to increase your income and add greater stability to your financial outlook will occur just when you need them most. In the meantime, don't give up hope, and don't do anything that may cause your situation to become worse -- such as borrowing money or making a financial commitment of any kind. Over the next few months, your situation could improve to the point that you will wonder why you were ever so worried about it in the first place.

I truly hope this is true, that things improve. I do feel stressed and pressured but next Monday I will receive my Centrelink payment and that gives me comfort. The money side is a bit stressful but my main concern is finding a place to live. I want to live by myself, and as the horoscope above points to, I have to have faith in myself in that even though I will feel lonely sometimes, I am doing the best thing for myself at this time and I have friends around and can call my family whenever I want or need to. It's also about getting myself and my life organised. I want to get into the routine of great habits and I believe that living in a share house will restrict this. I can only rely on myself and by living alone I will have to be self-sufficient, which will help me grow in many ways. I just hope something turns up soon. Kirsten's laptop isn't loading the real estate page properly so I'm having a hard time.

For right now, I might get something to eat and have a rest while watching a movie, maybe Easy A. I watched Marie Antoinette a few times and I really like it. I need to send it to mum as it was her idea for me to buy it for her. It was my idea to watch it first. I love those period dramas. I belong in one. Sigh. Hopefully I will feel better soon.

Kirsten's birthday

Today is Kirsten's birthday! We had cake for breakfast. I had cereal either side of that so I don't feel so bad. The cake was alright. I don't have anywhere in particular to be today so I'm struggling a bit with what to do. I need to go to Centrelink and I need to call the Deakin bookshop because I'm missing one set of readers, which I didn't realise. I had listed all my units as online so they sent me the books, but I changed them to on campus study. I changed one back when I saw that there were the readers but not the other as the bookshop didn't mention anything about readers. I looked online last night and they don't have the ones I need in stock so I'll call them soon and ask if there are any anywhere. There is an online copy but I prefer having the physical book. So there's that! I will also vacuum this place for Kirsten before the birthday party tonight [combined] and I need to get in contact with George's cousin about having a meet up just for fun. There are some other little things I can't think of.

Yesterday I had my first day of volunteering at the Mission to Seafarers. It's so cruisy there. Monica taught me how to catalogue photographs so I did that for most of the day. The photographs were of the stained-glass windows in the Saint Peter the Mariner's Chapel and I found it hard to describe the and use religious or olden-day terms. I'm not so good at that. She got me to bring my laptop to do some scanning on but I didn't bring the CD drive thinking I wouldn't need it so I didn't actually use it. It was a bit of a waste to lug it around there and back. We finished at around 3pm and I went and met Nicole, Sarah's now ex flatmate from Tassie. We had a drink [hot chocolate for me, iced mocha for her] and a chat. Then I did some shopping and came back here. I did some more study, found lots of useful things on the Deakin website about unit resources and unit guides. Now I just have to find out about that last reader. It's for Monday so that's a bit annoying. Arrg.

Tomorrow I have that trial at Kamel. I'm not looking forward to it only because I'm used to not working anymore and I love it! I want to keep not working and just get Centrelink. I wonder if with all the study I'm sure I'll be doing if I'll have time for a job. I'll have one, hopefully two days of volunteering work, and that leaves three days. I might have to work on a few of them but I'll need one day free for sanity and for studying but I'm sure I'll always have to study. I take a long time to read one chapter so having lots of breaks in between works the best for me. Drat it.

I had a lovely chat to mum, Sarah, James, dad and George last night in that order. It was strange being on the other side as we usually call people who are far away and now that's me. It's strange not being there for the dinner I miss that. I didn't even know about it and that makes me a little sad. Now I get what Sarah meant about being out of the loop. It was so easy living there knowing everything that was going on. Thinking about it makes me a little sad now! And feeling crap about this trial is getting me down more. It would be nice to disapparate there Harry Potter style for lunch or something lovely. If only. I was thinking of going back for Easter but I had a look at flights for the 21st to the 25th or something and it'll be $300! That's not cool. I'll check for cheaper ones. I might have a week off Uni at some stage but I'm not quite sure yet. I might go then. Who knows.

It feels so natural and relaxed being in Melbourne and yet so much, or not so much, is still happening back home. It's strange to be missing out on that. It makes me sad that I'm missing out on seeing Etta grow up more and more. I'll be back to visit eventually and not let her go. Hehe.

I really want to get started on my running training. Once I'm settled in a house I'll have to start my 6-12 week program. Kirsten mentioned the half-marathon. She's going to enter and Sandi, one of her housemates, is also going to enter and yet she hasn't trained much. It's not until October so hopefully Sandi and I will be ready by then. Plenty of time. I really hope I get the Hawthorn house. Please! I doubt it but please!

What else is news? Not much. I can't wait to start Uni on Monday but first I have to get over the hurdle of this darn trial at Kamel. I might really like it and might even get a bit of cash for it which would be awesome. I'll just have to endure it. It won't last forever. It's a shame it's so far away though. I could do Friday and Saturday day shifts there for a while. I want to keep Sundays free. I hate working on Sundays.

I went into the Telstra shop yesterday and upgraded my internet from 500mb to 1g. I can't wait for it to kick in. I didn't even have to pay! I'm so excited about that. All I need now is a new computer with internet that works. Something lighter and smaller maybe. I'm not sure if I should get one of the mini laptops or just a normal sized one. Depends if it's really light or not. I like the idea of taking a small one traveling for the internet and storing photos. One day I might have both.

I will call the Uni bookshop and see what they say about the books.

Full steam ahead

Last night I did a heap of work on my essay and I am so glad it's coming along nicely. It's not as much of a struggle as I thought it was going to be but I do know I'll have to cut a lot of it down once I've finished writing all the parts I need to write. I wonder how that'll go. I found some inspiration and got together the Code of Ethics for museums and I think that will help me greatly. Today I have to do more.

I also need to go to Centrelink today, which I am not thrilled about, but it'll be nice to know if/when I'll be getting money. They sent me a text message telling me to come in but duh, I already know that! I'm going in today. I can't believe they have such a stupid system that every time I go in to get money I have to supply my billions of forms of ID again. This will probably be my fourth time and it's so stupid. They need a better system. Everyone knows it. Free money will be great though.

I have my timetable for Uni. For some reason one of my units wasn't on my enrollment list so I fixed that. I thought that was sorted so I'll have to wait for a little bit and see if that one slots into mix of 3 weeks per unit. I'm sure it will. I might make my own timetable on a calendar or something. It would be nice to have something special but we'll see. I find their timetables hard to read so ever since I started first year at UTAS I've made my own. I'm sure I'm not the only one.

I should get ready soon and deal with Centrelink, but I might have to leave it until after lunch as I'm sure that's their busiest time. See how I go.

Relax, Anna!

I can't wait to go home. The weather here is unbearable, for me at least, getting to at least 30 each day. Not my kind of weather. Give me cold shade any day. The people here are annoying too and the room is always hot despite the open window and fan. I complain a lot but I have been enjoying my outings, even though it takes a huge effort to get anywhere. I posted some of my heavier books back today -- from me to me! I got two maxi dresses and I doubt they'll weigh much but I think I was pretty spot on on the way up so I don't want to push my luck. I've spent too much money already. I don't want to spend anymore, but since I won't be earning anything my savings will go down! No! I'm not sure when Centrelink will kick in but I will go in there when I can and drop off some forms, maybe even tomorrow afternoon. Sarah and I might go for breakfast. Then I can quickly print off some documents ... actually no. I don't have my last 8 weeks of pay slips with me. Another day.

I had a late lunch with Joyce today and it was nice but she made me feel crap about myself, unintentionally but hurtful nonetheless, because I'm shy and timid and "didn't give Sydney a chance." I know that I'm shy and timid but I want to feel comfortable, not like I'm jumping in the deep end just because I'm shy and timid. I want my friends around. I want to continue having fun in this time of my life, what with being single and myself for the first time ever, and I know I'll have that in Melbourne. It's cheaper, it's cooler [weather-wise], it's closer to home, it still has the course I want to do, it is an adventure, and it'll be a surprise. I might not have given Sydney a real go but why waste time when I know how it'll go, kind of. I'll waste money and time and energy because it's so damned hot and the houses are way too expensive. I don't want to live with randoms but living alone here would cost way too much. I want to keep on loving this city, not resent it.

I am really looking forward to starting my course. And on a new campus too! I started reading some of the books they sent me in the mail last night while trying to get to sleep and I think it's going to be interesting. I bought some note books from Typo to use for first semester so I'm looking forward to getting stuck into that. I just feel stressed thinking about it. I won't have a house to go to straight away unless I can live with Nicole and Rom [Sarah's room mates] and their friend. Holly and Ruben will do the couples thing and Amy and Carly are set I think. Scary. Got to chill.

I'm going to see Tangled tonight. I saw The King's Speech last night and quite enjoyed it. I am a bit worried about the money I'm spending but I have a fair bit stored away and I will most likely be getting Centrelink. I feel like my life is a waste but I just have to do the things I want to do and not get too stressed about it all. That's what this year will teach me I think. The Year of the Rabbit.

A Glebe apartment

I just found the cutest looking place in my budget in a great area -- Glebe. It actually had pictures of the kitchen, bathroom, and bedroom and some of the surrounding area. I wonder if I can get it! It's $260 a week but if I'm working a lot or I get Centrelink then I can afford it. I hope Centrelink will pay for it. I emailed the real estate to find out when it's open for an inspection so hopefully I can see it on Saturday morning! I'm sure there will be some new properties to look at on Friday night at the back packer's.

One of many possible Sydney apartments

A cute apartment I wouldn't mind having in Forest Lodge, Sydney.

Set in a converted Victorian Mansion is this well presented studio apartment with share bathrooms. Located at the rear of the building this apartment is private and quiet. Complete with kitchenette and wardrobe. The building also has a coin operated share laundry. Easy walk to Sydney Uni. $220 per week. $1000 bond.

As long as I get Centrelink I'd be able to afford this one ... being close to Uni is where I'd want to be unless I decide to live with Katie and her friend for less money. Only time will tell.

Sydney, Holly, Sydney

I didn't get an offer today, unless I missed it. I wasn't truly expecting to hear back today but would have loved if I did. It sucks because I can't make plans and this whole thing is being drawn out so much. It makes me dislike the Uni a bit. Making people wait this long is mean, especially since classes start a month after I/we might find out on the 19th. As long as I get in I'll be happy. Once I find out I have to book flights to Sydney straight away for the in-person enrollment. That week will go by pretty quickly and be rather eventful. Hopefully I'll be over there for Australia Day so I can meet up with Annie [I'm sad she's not still working at thebeach]. It's already the 5th of January so I have around 15 days to sort out what I want to take with me when I move and there is a lot to sort through.

I hope I can find my own place. I'm still not sold on living with people other than a partner but will do it if I have to. Paying bond all by myself [around $1000] would wipe out most of my savings for this move and unless I get Centrelink straight away that might be a bad idea. I am actually getting more shifts at work, especially this week, so I'll be able to put more away. I haven't put any away this week because I only got paid around $200-250 which is nothing and it doesn't go that far. I hate money sometimes. By the time I head off, I might have saved $2000, and I stress might. I have $1500 now, $1000 could go towards bond and $300 towards a bed so that isn't much left, unless I save another $500 now. I'd need to go shopping for supplies once I have a house and rent and pay for the airfares [unless I get the free tickets from my aunts who had to change their plans when they couldn't fly out of the UK for Christmas] but I might be doing the home-stay thing before I find a house or move in with Kirsten's Katie. Moving in with Katie and her friend would be a lot cheaper but it's not my dream, unless we each got our own floor, or at least own bathroom and a big room. Drat.

I'm going to visit Holly today. I am so excited about that. We haven't had a proper catch up in a while. I miss her perspective and conversation. She helped me so much during my break up with Yorick and I love her wisdom. I am so glad to have met her. The Lordy boys were good for one thing after all. After that I have work. I am super sick of hospitality but I have to keep working until I head off, otherwise I'll have no money whatsoever and I can't let that happen. I hate this whole money situation. It's really bugging me. Maybe I'll have to live in a share house [especially since people keep saying living in Sydney is expensive]. Drat again.

An action plan

Next year when life is better I'll do a 2011 recap and it'll be fantastic. I know this year is going to be great. I can't wait for it to take off when I move to Sydney. January is going to be good. Jan and Fra are coming for a visit, I have Fronting MONA, the Maritime, packing and moving to Sydney, and experiencing the trials [I'm sure] of finding a house and getting settled. I wish I could live alone and slowly fill all rooms of the house with my things but I'm not sure that will be possible. I'll get used to living with people, plus I won't be so lonely. It won't be forever and I can always move. I truly believe this year I'll find true love. I'll get thin and fit and do all the things I want to change in my life. It'll be a great year.

In the next week I need to --

+ organise my written references from Alison [thebeach] and Rona [the Maritime]

+ apply for jobs in Sydney

+ go to Centrelink and get the ball rolling with future payments

+ start work on assignment 2 [and 3] for Fronting MONA

+ visit Holly

+ possibly make an appointment for my first tattoo

+ contact Kirsten Long's friend Katie about her plans for Sydney, and

+ look into photography courses in Sydney.

I have lots of little things to do, especially with the move creeping closer and closer, so if I can make sure I keep lists of all the things that need doing then I'll be on top of it all. It'll get me into the routine of making lists and getting myself organised. Wonderful!

Treasures

I forgot to post this daily horoscope but I will now as I know they don't stay on the "database" for long. It's from Wednesday the 29th of December 2010.

If you've ever sat along a shoreline and watched the ocean, you've seen the tide go out and then come in again. As it travels out to sea it brings along the small treasures that were scattered in the shallows, like bits of sea glass and tiny shells. When it returns it brings new treasures. Your tide may be out right now, Scorpio, but it's definitely coming in again and soon. Look for things to begin working for you in a better and more productive way, and look for a collection of new treasures to inhabit your life. Your prospects for financial gain will soon be much, much better.

I hope I get more money soon. I'm not saving much at the moment as I have barely any shifts but I'm intending to get back onto Centrelink so maybe this is what it means. I like the idea of new treasures. I love the possibilities of 2011.

Almost rid of 2010

I am slowly checking things off my big to-do list. Today I sorted out most of my clothes and chucked out the majority of them. I have a huge bag I need to drop off into one of those charity bins at some stage. I also started work again on my Travel Book for Vanuatu. Once I finish the photo placements I can cross one more off that huge list. Then onto the writing. That is going to take forever. I also need to keep organising things to take and to eventually take to Sydney. It's going to be a long task, especially since I don't quite know what I have off the top of my head and what I'll take with me. I'll get there.

Tonight I'm going to go to the supermarket and buy a few things for dinner. I'm going to get mum some milk and myself some of the tasty treats I like. She had a tone in her voice, especially after I said I was off mince when she asked if I wanted spaghetti bolognaise for dinner [they're going out], and basically said to go get my own food. So I shall. I'll get some yogurt and oven fries and some oven fish or nuggets, bread, biscuits, some ice cream or probably lemon sorbet. This is the last time I'll probably shop for myself here for food I like because once I'm in Sydney I'm going to be on a healthy eating regime and stick to it for at least 30 days and hopefully longer once I get hooked on healthier foods [here's hoping]. Sydney is going to be great. I can't wait to move there. I'll be devastated if I don't get into the Uni there but going to Sydney will be great even if I'm not at that particular Uni. I am always praying that I get into the University of Sydney though. Please oh please oh please.

I started watching the O.C. again. I love it! I can't wait until I find my next partner. I do hope he's my life partner but that might not be the case. I wonder what a psychic would say. I do want to go see one but where do you find a good one? I can't wait for the awkwardness before you start getting used to being together, the first few kisses, and getting to know each other. I am so excited that one day I'll get to experience all of that again. I miss the start of relationships. They are the best. It'll be even better with my future husband too. I already know he rocks. One day.

Once I'm finished playing my games I'll go and finish putting all the photos into my Vanuatu Travel Book then go grocery shopping. Then I'll watch more of the O.C. and not much else. I'm a bit boring but at least I'm not spending much money now that Christmas is over. I only did around 10 hours last week, maybe 12 or something, so that sucks. Once 2011 starts I'll head over to Centrelink and try and get the ball rolling before I move to Sydney. Smart move, O'Regan.

Boxing Day

I finally started packing some of my stuff up to take with me when I first head over to Sydney. It felt good. Mum and I were talking about Sydney in general in the car on the way home from James and George's house for a Boxing Day gathering and I don't like how semi-negative it is. It's like she is planning it all out for me but I'm optimistic! It'll work out just how it's meant to and I have a good feeling about it all. She keeps on saying how I should stay in a home-stay situation for the first semester or something insane like that, till I get settled at Uni or whatever. I only plan to stay in a home-stay until I find a house to live in then I'm straight out of there. Centrelink will give me money, I'm sure of it, and I have enough to live off for a little while. It's not a huge amount [$1500 at the moment] but it's going to grow a little. I will find a job because it won't be that hard. It feels like my dreams an optimism are being diminished. It's going to be great and I'm going to do it for myself. I just hate all the realistic talk. I am somewhat realistic but I'm also hopeful. I hate that these discussions are always too realistic. It's too much.

I've been watching Scrubs since I finished Gilmore Girls again. I like that Scrubs makes me laugh. I'm now finally onto the last season but am finding it strange because it's set as a medical school and J.D.'s hair is weird. I want to know how it all ends. I hate that they didn't show J.D. and Elliot's wedding or the story of them getting pregnant. Drat that. The kind of did at the end of the eighth season but it was only J.D.'s hope. It's good though.

I'm so tired today. I think it's because I spent most of the morning in bed, despite waking up at 930ish and putting Scrubs on. I didn't get out of bed until 1145 and had briefly closed my eyes, while not sleeping, for a little bit. That must have counted as sleep to my body.

I'm not going to take my DVD player because my computer will act as a DVD player! That way I don't have to get a TV, although my laptop is very old in all uses of the word so it might not be very fun. I am going to take some DVDs though, like some anime, some movies, and some of my TV series. I'm sure I'll buy more over there. I wish I could get a new laptop. The internet won't work on mine. I've packed up some little things like my organisation books/lists and some anime/manga but there is a lot to do.

I'm not sure what I'll do tomorrow. I really do need to work on my Travel Books but as if that'll ever get done. I'm so lazy I keep forgetting about it. I'll probably have a rather boring day. I might go for a walk with KT. I haven't done that in a while and I think it's about time. I do need to organise my Making the Cut 30 day meal plan so I could do that, pack some more, make some earrings. Anything but watching endless episodes! I'll do something productive. I also need to organise my clothes. If I put only what I need in the draws I have then it'll be easier when I need to pack. Tomorrow will be a productive day!

Changes

I have my work schedule for the next 3 weeks and I'm not completely happy with it. Next week is good as I have 4 definite shifts and I am going to Melbourne but the following weeks I only have 2 definites and a maybe.

Monday 13th Dec 6pm

Tuesday 14th Dec 630pm

Friday 17th Dec 630pm

Saturday 19th Dec ON CALL PM -- I wouldn't mind missing this one as I'm planning to go to Opossum Bay while James and George are there with friends. Only staying for the day would be okay but not having to rush back and stress about getting to work on time is something I don't need.

Sunday 19th Dec 930am

Tuesday 21st Dec ON CALL PM

Thursday 23rd Dec 11am

Friday 24th Dec 1230pm

Tuesday 28th Dec ON CALL PM

Thursday 30th Dec 11am

Sunday 2nd Jan 4pm

It's nice to have some time off so I can study for Uni and see my aunts Jan and Fra who are coming out on the 23rd of December but I need as much work as I can get so I can save! Hopefully I'll find a job to go to wherever I move so I won't have too much pressure regarding money but I would like to be busy now and earn money while I have the chance. Drat this Mrs Kim. I'll just write a note on the roster saying I'm available for work if anyone needs to give any shifts away. I didn't think when Alison and I were talking on the phone last week to say no when she said she was giving me time off. It just didn't click. She blind-sighted me with it so I couldn't think. Never mind. It'll all work out.

My sister doesn't like the design I have 99% chosen for my first tattoo --

I really like it. I think bar codes are a products' DNA in a way and to me, my surname and my heritage is the same. That will never change and it's so very important to me. Plus it looks cool. I'm going to book something for the new year. A Saturday when Emma can come and possibly in the afternoon so Holly can come too. I'm excited!

Monday I have another lecture and tutorial for Fronting MONA then work. Tuesday I am going in for most of the day to the Maritime to help with an upcoming exhibition then work. Wednesday I'm off to Melbourne. I wonder when I'm going to pack? I won't need to take much so it won't take long. Maybe Monday after Uni and before work as I don't know how long I'll be at the Maritime for on Tuesday. I'll get it done.

Speaking of Fronting MONA, I need to work on my first assignment [the application for a job there] before it's due on the 20th. The cover letter needs to have so many elements in it that I'm going to start writing in dot points all I need to include in it then go from there to round it out. I just don't know who it's going to so I can't add the right address in. I'll ask the tutor in class tomorrow.

After tonight I will have worked around 25 hours and that is good. I'll get about $400 and put most of it away. As long as I have a job to go to I'll be okay. I might only make $2000 before I head off. That will cover bond and a bed but not much else. Centrelink will help but having a job to go to would be best. A house will fall into place and it'll all work out nicely. It shall! I'll apply for the Body Shop and for gallery attendant jobs and just about anything that sounds good. Day work is a must. It'll happen.

I can and will do it

I'm sick of everyone telling me how hard it will be moving to Sydney and how much money I'll have to save first because I won't be able to get a job. Oh how I'll prove them wrong. I'm not too pissed off about it but it is annoying. I'm going to make it work! It will probably be hard but I'm looking forward to the challenge. I'll be able to find a job fine, maybe not straight away but there will be something out there. I'll get Centrelink and I'll survive. I'll spend as little money as possible and make it work that way if I have to. I can do this!

I just booked my accommodation for the backpackers in Melbourne. I'm glad that's sorted. I'll get paid the day I arrive in Melbourne too so that's comforting. I'll try not to spend to much money there either. Seeing some of the museums might cost a little bit as will getting around the city but I can manage not spending much. It's all for a good purpose.

Why don't people believe in me!? I'm going to do just fine. I can't wait to move and get a cute little house and, over time, set it up with cute things.

Possible jobs

+ Gallery or Museum Attendant

+ Air Hostess / Flight Attendant

+ Waitress [although I'd rather not]

+ Sales Assistant at a bookstore or clothing store

It won't be that hard to get a job. I can do it! I can!

Time to rest

I have had a work-filled weekend and am really glad it's a rest day today. There's the possibility of work tonight but I hope I'm not needed as James and George and Etta and Sarah are over for dinner tonight and it's been a while since my birthday hugs with Etta. I'm working Tuesday, all day Friday, Saturday and Sunday anyway so that will be enough. I need to restore my energy, especially since I've been working at Relish lately.

Last night I grabbed hold of my brainwave about looking on the website I applied to Sydney because waiting for an email isn't right. I haven't received any offers yet but it might be a good idea to call up and ask someone about when I would hear back. I'm really excited. I can't wait to finally find out if I'm in. I wish this with all my heart. The Melbourne course is just not good enough so I'm extra wishing for Sydney. Please, oh, please let me get in.

Sydney is seriously all I think about these days. It's great to have something so wonderful to look forward to. I can't wait for change next year, wherever I end up. I think I might plan for an end-of-year holiday for myself. Emma and I did mention going to Thailand and Vietnam and other nearby countries so we might have to make that a definite! A few months would be fantastic. One day I'll get to Tibet and Peru and Nepal and China and Japan and Korea and Singapore and Malaysia and Indonesia and Bali and Hawaii and the list goes on! I want to do a lot of travelling.

I can't wait to some of my museum/archaeology books arrive in the mail. I also can't wait until Wednesday when I get to order some more. I am also excited about getting to put money into my bank. I don't want to spend too much on things so I have enough money to support myself while trying to find a job in Sydney. Centrelink will help me.

I love living over in the shed. It's my own space and it's much bigger and it just feels refreshing and right. I love watching shows late at night with the volume at a normal level. I would always have it at a lower level when living in the main house. I like having all of my stuff around me too. It's a good living situation. I can't wait until next year and having my own house. It'll be fantastic! A little bare at first but that's alright. It'll be my own home and it'll be all my own doing. I can't wait!

My bright future and his dull one

Today I had a bit more of a chat to George about Sydney accommodation and she says she has a cousin or relative that lives in Manly and that they have a bungalow out the back that they rent. There's a chance I might be able to rent it out next year when I'm in Sydney for Uni. I think it would be fantastic. I would have the beach to run on and there would be many a great cafe or restaurant for me to work at and I would be catching the ferry to Uni! It would be great! I had a look last night at all the websites for the Uni accommodation and it's all so expensive. I would be getting Centrelink, extra because the course isn't here in Tasmania, and working and maybe another $1000 for something so I might only be able to cope in a share house, even better in this bungalow. Fingers crossed it works out. That's the thing I'm most worried about. That's what this weekend is about. Figuring the whole situation out and seeing how hard it will be for me to get a spot in the course[s] I am interested in. I really want to do this course. It's so exciting. I looked up the units I would do and they all sound fabulous and are all focused to the different areas of running a museum or art gallery [For example -- Artifact Studies; Exhibition Development; Information and Collection Management; The Museum Context; The Art Museum: Past, Present and Future]. I am so excited about it. I hope it all works out.

I have decided that I don't want to move away for the Federal Group job. I am loving my freedom here, seeing Andi a lot more, and just general social outings such as seeing SNERT and hanging out with my sister. I feel free to have drinks and worry only about myself. I am having a great time. I like that I'm learning about who I am and I'm not sad I'm not with anyone because I know in the next few years I will have found the perfect guy for me and it will all be fabulous. Sophie gave me some news tonight when we went out for dinner. She said 2 weeks ago when she was out with the boys, Yorick was hanging out with this girl, an 18 year old emo girl, who Sophie thinks he might be dating. She's not sure if they're still together but I'm completely above it because I know he's in such a crap place and he can't get out of it. I feel sad for him. Holly just confirmed that he was with the girl at Wolfy's party but wanted to tell me in person. We haven't really hung out since but it's good I know now. It's so stupid though. He shouldn't be dating and knows it deep down. He's just screwing himself over more. He's so lost without me [I think]. Lame. I love feeling powerful because of it. Apparently Apples and Helen broke up recently too. Weird. It's those boys that's the problem. Any girl that gets involved with them is doomed. I'm glad it's not my problem anymore. Phew. I'm better off.

I'm so excited about Sydney for next year. It's just what I want to be doing and this weekend will hopefully give me all the details I need. And hopefully next week I will have a job with the courier place that Matt [Andi's brother] mentioned. I need to work a heap as I'm going crazy not doing much. It's also a waste of my time. I want to earn lots of money in preparation for Sydney [another trip in September if all goes as hoped this weekend and for next year in general] and to get myself out of the house and doing something productive. I don't want to waste my time anymore. It's annoying.

Tomorrow I will pack my bags then head out for dinner and drinks with Emma at 515pm. I can't wait to catch up with her. I love it so much. We have a blast. I've missed our nights. More news tomorrow!

HTC Desire

I really want the HTC Desire. I must get it. It's way better than the iPhone and my Hiptop3 is starting to get harder to use. One of the buttons, the rolley joystick, isn't working as well as it used to but I'm going to have to save $700 to get this new one. I'll have to ask them if I can get it in a year plan. Maybe Centrelink will give me an advance. I won't be on Centrelink for much longer now I'm not going to be studying for a while. I have one last bill to pay for my car and then I can start saving. I also want to buy a Canon 400D camera and the $125 lens that Amy reccomended. Money! Arrr.