Can I do this?

I keep having second thoughts. I think because next week is getting closer and closer despite nothing being booked is what's making me nervous. I'm pretty much going to be there by myself. I keep thinking how lonely I'll be and that I'll fall apart. Just being here alone is making me feel weird, like a part of me is missing. I think, should I go to Melbourne instead so I can visit Holly and Ruben all the time? but that's skipping out on my dream. I wouldn't visit them that much like here. I don't like Melbourne and I at least have to give it a go in Sydney. I can't bail just because I'm scared or because I will get lonely or sad. I'll fill my time right up and call people and visit Joyce and cousin Sam and people will visit me. Be tough!