Slightly better

He said he feels like he's on a pedastal but that it's okay but to make sure he doesn't let it go to his head. He also said 'well i'm very glad to remind you whenever you need reminding, you're lovely, v-cute and mucho special!!!' which was very sweet of him to say. I feel better about it but I'm still wary of how things will end. It's been lovely getting to know him thus far, and he's amazing to physically be with, so we will continue as we are I suppose. Time for a Goodle+ Hangout!

Uncertain

I'm very uncertain about where things with Glenn will end up. At the moment I can't see a future because he made me realise I don't know him all that well and that my opinions of him now might be wrong. That's making me think that we'll just get to know each other more and it won't get any more serious than that, which, in turn, is making me think that it'd be a mistake to move back to Hobart. You can't know these things though. I said to him that it's not that I haven't been treated well in the past, just that it could have been better. I said I was looking and hoping for someone like him and that he's better than what I imagined and told him a few things I like about him, being that he's open and we can really talk about things and that he's charming and he makes me feel special and worthwhile and happy. He said 'wow, Anna you are extremely special and worthwhile, even if we weren't together you should already know that... i'm glad that i make you happy... don't put me on too a high pedastal, you might be completely wrong, apart from the charming bit... science fact, :)' Upon reflection this does seem like I'm expecting him to be someone he might not be so now I'm worried. I hate that we have to either decide to be together or not because of the distance, that we can't just cruise along while in the same place. It'll place pressure on us to work and now I'm imagining the possibility that it won't and that it could be a mistake for me to move back as I doubt he'd move here. I'm worried. I guess until I know him more no decisions will be made. I can see myself moving back there and us being together, then one option being that we don't work out, me grieving, then moving to the UK. I think I'd be fine with that but would it be a mistake to move and give up what I have here? I'd regret not seeing our relationship through so now I'm stuck. We don't have to decide anything until the end of the year. With Yorick I felt like we were really connected. Glenn and I are totally our own persons, which is great, but I don't feel like we're a team just yet. I still find it weird that we're together because we did meet briefly and I thought of him in a certain way, or he was in a certain friend box. I'm not good at explaining things. He knows who he is. I know who I am but I'm still shy about things and unsure of my worth. At the moment I'm very apprehensive about our future. The only way to see is keep going as we are until the end of the year, see if we fall in love, or want to make some sacrifices to be with the other. I guess that's our path. I wonder if there is really a side of him that I wouldn't like. He might just be too Leo for my liking, despite being a Taurus. I can sense that is a possibility. Time will tell. We need to spend more time together. Sigh.

I'm back!

I am so bad. I haven't written in months. It's not that I didn't want to. First it was the fact that I didn't have regular internet access. Then I got used to not writing, but now some major developments have arisen that I want to document. I'm just lazy but I want this hiatus to be over.

Working at Velduo is going good as usual. I can't wait until I have a 'real' job though in cultural heritage. That'll be amazing. I have been working occasionally at Watermark as well and that's fine too. More cruisy, which I like. It's comparable to working at Relish, as Veludo is to thebeach. I like that I'm getting cash in hand so I can get Centrelink as well. I'm naughty but everyone does it.

Uni is going well. There have been so so so many assignments to do. My assignment schedule is insane. Seriously I hate it. I'm in the second 'trimester' now, currently in the middle of World Heritage. I have already finished the on-campus classes for Collections and Movable Cultural Heritage and handed in the first assignment for that yesterday. I'm still finishing off assignments for Cultural Landscapes. The last one was due yesterday but I had to get an extension because the case study I chose was too hard. I'm focusing on Sullivan's Cove now and its management issues. Once I find those I will feel like I'm in a better position. At the moment I'm a bit stressed about it because I don't have much to write about. Drat those management issues!! Where are you? My last assignment is due on the day after my birthday, but I'm planning to get that done earlier. I don't want it to ruin my birthday! Then all I'll have is the field placement unit and I'll be set! I'm planning to do that back home. My plans have certainly changed, and all because of the results of one night.

On Thursday the 14th of July, Nicole, Glenn and I hung out. We had ciders at the Young and Jackson's rooftop cider bar near Flinder's Street Station then went to Bimbos for $4 pizzas. It was a lot of fun. Nicole and Glenn had worked together at Wrest Point and I knew him through Yorick, through Apples, through Helen. He had contacted me a few months earlier saying that we should catch up while he was in Melbourne and we did. At Bimbos, Glenn sent me a text message while sitting next to me. He was going to say something, and I bugged it out of him. He said he wasn't sure if he should say it. The text said that he thought we flirted well. We all decided to go and see Harry Potter 7 Part 2 at the movies and he had his arm on the arm rest and I took it. We ended up kissing. They were the best kisses ever. We all caught a cab back to the YHA, then Glenn went back to his hotel. We met up the next day. I tried to get out of working at Watermark but I couldn't, but we met up between my shift there and the one at Veludo. I met him at the Flinder's steps. We caught the free tram to Spencer Street then caught the 96 to St Kilda and sat on the beach. He was carrying all his luggage with him. We talked and laughed. On the free tram he couldn't believe it when I said I was 24. On the 96 we were facing each other on different sides of the tram and had our legs connecting. Once we were walking on the beach, I got him to stop and we kissed. Then we sat down on the beach and talked. We walked up to Veludo and stood outside and kissed and hugged, and he held his arms up a few times to make us stop touching, probably because it was getting a bit heated. He he he. Then I went to work. We met up a week later when I went back to Tassie for Etta's first birthday [July 24th]. We met outside the Maritime after I had finished talking to Rona about an assignment. He had shaved his mountain man beard. We walked around Battery Point and talked and talked. Then we sat on a bench near the back of TMAG near the courtyard before he went off and I had dinner at Cool Thai and $10 cosmopolitans with Emma, Sarah, and Holly. After that, Sarah and I went back to hers. Glenn picked me up from there. We went back to his place and hung out in his room. I had a look at his DVD collection and pointed out all the ones I liked. He groaned because we have a lot of things in common. I got lost on the way back to his bedroom from the bathroom. I stood still. He found me and didn't laugh as such but said I'll be alright in a cute I like you way. We undressed each other, although he went to the bathroom and came back in only his red shorts/pants/undies. The sex was amazing, seriously the best ever. It was so nice sleeping next to him. We did it again in the morning, had an amazing shower together, and went out for breakfast down the road. We hung out at his place for the rest of the day until I went home for dinner. On Saturday we hung out again and I stayed over. I can't remember what we did. On Sunday morning we had a spa together. It was awesome. Then I went home quickly before heading over to James and George's for Etta's birthday party. Super cute. Then I hung out with Sophie at thebeach, then Monika, then home for tea before heading back up to see Glenn. That morning I had gotten a bit sad. I also got sad before I left. Backtracking a bit, we had been texting all week and kinda built up the sex, or unwrapping me, because I was his late birthday present and him my early present. He he. Amazing. So we hung out for an hour and a bit before he went to cricket and I headed to James and George's so James could take me out to the airport. Glenn said to me to tell him if things get too hard to tell him, to promise. I did. I was sad to go. After that we texted and talked on the phone and I planned another trip down in two weeks, just to see him. I felt helpless before that trip was booked. I just came back from this second trip three days ago. I went down on Monday morning. Sarah picked me up and I hung at her place until Glenn got me at 4. We went to his place then picked up James and headed to his place to see Etta and G and have pizza! Sarah joined us. Glenn likes my family. They liked him too. Then we went to his house. We were going to see a movie but I was super tired so we hung out in his room instead. It was awesome. More great sex. We put onSource Code to watch but we saw none of it. None of the entire thing... He he he. On Tuesday he went to work. I studied in his bed. Then I met mum for some Spotlight shopping, then met Glenn after that. We went to the Post Office briefly then walked to my car near Sarah's in West Hobart then went to his place. We watched some anime then had a date at Mee Wah. So fancy! He has an alergy to seafood but he didn't get sick. Then we saw Hanna at the State. It was awesome. We were going to get Cold Rock but it was closed by the time the movie got out. Sad. Then we went back to his place and I stroked his back with soft fingers for ages. He said it was the best night ever and that he had never felt so relaxed before. It was bliss. On Wednesday morning we got up at 930. He was meant to go back to the Post Office and get his passport photos done, then see the passport people, but had to change plans. We had a shower together, he shaved then got back in. We went to the Post Office and were talking about heavy stuff and I got a bit upset. I had promised myself that if I came on that trip I wouldn't cry, because otherwise I wouldn't have seen him for a whole month instead of having a two week break in between. He wanted me to look at him when I started getting emotional but I didn't want to. I had to go outside and have a breather and get myself under control. He said he has the same feelings as me but I'm more open about it. I cry too easily. It's true. Then we walked down to Salamanca, I took a photo of the Tasmanian Mission to Seafarers, who knew right!?, then we went to the Vietnamese Kitchen for 'breakfast' and had more deeper conversations. Then we went to Margate for an hour for lunch, a play with Etta, then he took me to the airport. He dropped me off and he left reasonably quickly. I thought he was going to come in but it turned out that I didn't have to wait long. I missed him already and still do. The flight went by with my nodding off and doing that head jerk thing. Slightly embarrassing! I got back to Melbourne and he sent me a text, and he said he was glad I was safe. We've talked on the phone most days since, not that many but still. We're going to do a Google+ Hangout tomorrow. He's coming over at the start of September before he heads to Europe until the end of September. Then he'll be back with me. We'll hang for around 5 days either side of his trip. We'd better have a house by then! Then I'm going back home from the 24th of October to the 3rd of November to be with him and to celebrate turning 25. Woah. Hopefully I can do another 10 days in November. I want to go back to Hobart to be with him. He's concerned because he doesn't want me to give anything up to be with him. I'm not 100% sure about it but I want to be with him full-time and I think we have potential. He likes the idea but yes, he trusts me, but is concerned. Sweet. I have my own concerns but I'll only do it if I'm sure. I'll have Etta and my family there, a job in cultural heritage, I'll get my own place, go to the gym, experience more of Hobart by Glenn's side, know how far we can go, and if it doesn't turn out how I hope, then I can go off and travel the world as originally planned. I want to do that anyway while I'm back there, if I move back. Time will tell. We're not deciding anything yet. I just want to be with him. We talked for quite a while this afternoon. For the whole tram ride back from St Kilda and even more while I walked to the YHA and I even sat outside for a bit. He clarified that he sending me that text in Bimbos was his green light. I wasn't sure if grabbing his hand wasn't what he wanted, because he's a bit sarcastic and when we were talking in the Vietnamese Kitchen he made it sound like it was my fault, but that was just Glenn being Glenn. We're in a relationship now, he said. I don't regret it. He said when I was back and we were walking that he only regrets us because of how it could end, not because we would fall out of love or one of us cheated on the other, but because we wouldn't be able to see each other enough. How sad. It's a funny situation but I wouldn't take it back. Never. Ever. His sister Laura likes me already and has been in contact with me on Facebook. She's never done this with any of his ex's. I like that. I'll meet them all in October when I'm down. He he. I really like this one. I think he's great. He's mature. He's 28. He used to be in the circus. He's still performing a bit but he busted his shoulder so that ruined things a bit. He has great hair. He's taller than me but still short. He's beautiful. He things I'm beautiful. He makes me laugh. We're cruisy when we're together and we both love that. No stress. We both hate that we have had to have all these intense talks because of the distance but he doesn't mind. He's charming, but he said he's argumentative. He's a Taurus. He smells great. He likes my bum. I think it's too big. I just love being with him. I miss him and I want to be in the same place as he is. Sigh. I think we could go pretty far. He was shocked when I told him Y and I had been together for 4 years. His longest relationship was 2.5 years. I've been with more people than he has and earlier. I've done drugs. He hasn't. I'm so naughty compared to him. He is a bit funny about the age gap. I'm not. He doesn't care too much about if we do or don't have sex. That suits me fine. It used to be a chore but not now. I miss his hugs and kisses. Oh that boy. We're part-time. I don't like that but it's better than nothing. I'm surprised I slotted back into my life here so easily. I cried a little that night, only because I was exhausted, but fine after that. I just wish I were there experiencing life alongside him. I still have him, just not physically. I can't wait until we get time together again. If Nicole, Amy and her partner Gav/Gavin, aren't in a house before the start of September, we'll stay in a room together somewhere, maybe at the YHA, or somewhere else, but it'd be so nice to have him in my own room, to celebrate getting one. We're so compatible. I love it. We are alike in many ways. Or have the same interests. He said he'd been looking for someone who likes anime as much as he did for most of his life. That's me. We're dating. We're in a relationship. He is friends with all his ex's. I like that idea. I'm not with mine. I like him a lot. So much.

So that's enough for now.

Nicole, Amy and Gavin and I are all looking for a 3 bedroom house together. Hopefully we have somewhere before September, as was the aim, but perhaps not. By September for sure. They're fairly desperate. I've been here for 5.5 months. Things haven't gone as planned but that's okay. I've learned a lot and I am grateful I'm here.

Now it's time for a quick chat to my parents to find out what they think of Glenn and then homework! Sigh.

New job!

I have a new job! It's at Veludo in St Kilda and apparently it is, or was, a sister restaurant to Amy's work, The World Bar, on the South Bank! How funny. I popped in there after my trial tonight to share the good news with her. So I went around St Kilda last night with some resumes and after 5 places I found Veludo. I went in and had a chat to Kylie, an awesome lass, and she got me to talk to the manager and she asked me what I was lookingn for and I said waitressing or that I'd even do dishwashing, but she said because of my experience waitressing would be good. Someone had just left so it was prefect timing and it seems like such a thebeach. So the manager was thinking about when she could get me in for a trial and we said for tonight at 5pm. So I went in and was shown around by Kylie and it was awesome. It seems cruisy but I know it'll get really busy. I really want to master this place like I did thebeach. It'll be a good challenge. I already have 4 shifts lined up -- Wednesday 9am-9pm, Friday 7pm-close, Saturday 9am-9pm and Sunday 11am-3pm. I think I'll talk to the manager soon about permanent shifts but this is a good start! I should be getting quite a few hours. I'll just have to keep up with my studies. It'll help me get into better practice regarding time management. I really suck at that. Ha ha. So things are looking up!

House stuff stull isn't happening. Nicole, Sammy and I will stick together but we're going to get rid of Chelsea. She kinda stuffed us up with a cute house we got accepted to. We all had to get our parents to sign a form saying they would pay for us if we couldn't, so Nicole and I did, Sammy was prepared to if Chelsea could get hers signed. Her parents are spit up. Her mum isn't financially secure and her dad had to fork out a heap of money for her step-brother so it didn't look good. She also said it was too much money and that she didn't realise it would be that much, even though we told her when we all applied. She's just left it all to us basically and doesn't get it. She also doesn't have a job and won't be here past March next year so it's all a bit stuffed up. It's crap because we all wanted this place but can't get our shit together. It looks like we've lost it. Tomorrow will tell. It's shit because the owner wanted to give us a go but we have just proved them wrong. Drat it. Hopefully Nicole can get a job soon and the 3 of us can get an awesome place together. We have lots of TV series to watch together! It seems like the 3 of us are all on the same level, the same page, and Chelsea just doesn't fit. It's not all her fault. Sigh. Things are looking up. It's a challenge but I'm glad to be here.

First Skype chat

I just had a wonderfully lovely Skype chat with my parents! It was so great. I can't wait until I'm there in July!!

Misplaced USB

All I can say is that I had better not lost my USB key. It's not in my purse and I'm pissed off. It might possibly be back at Anne's but it also might be over at E: Fifty 5. I don't know. All I do know is that it's shit if I've lost it. Some Uni stuff was on there as well as other bits and pieces. Arrrg!

The cutest Kensington house

I hate not writing in a while. It means I forget what's been happening. I'm in the State Library at the moment. It's warm. It's freezing outside. The last few days I've been wearing my military jacket as well as my Deakin zip-up hoody and at least a tee underneath and I still freeze. It's not very nice.

Today, Nicole, Chelsea and I went and saw the cutest little house in Kensington, just one station away from my new work! I really, really want it. It just felt so great. I hope we get it. Kensington is such a nice area.

Just about to head to Bimbos to meet Carly and have $4 pizza and some drinks afterwards. I am excited about that! Best be off. Drat. I wanted to write more. I'll have to do it another time.

Things are getting better

Things are looking up! I had the job trial today at Spinifex where Jess works as a chef and I'll be getting a call on Wednesday with shifts and more details so that's exciting! Zack, the owner I guess, who was on coffee's all day asked me if I wanted to come back. Apparently it's not usually that busy. It was just because we had a huge booking and everyone else came in at the same time. I'm used to that kind of busy from thebeach so it wasn't so bad it's just because it was a new job for me and I'm not used to it and don't know how to do everything that it was a bit hard. It was fine though. It's cash in hand and I got $60 for today, which I am completely surprised about, but I don't think the general pay-rate is that high, but it's a start and it'll help me along with Centrelink. So I've had a good day. I got up and got my stuff into the storage room at the Greenhouse and had some free toast and vegemite with Teresa, my other new German friend, then caught the tram to Kensington Station just opposite Spinifex. If I had been 10 minutes later I wouldn't have made the trial. Eek. Oh, apparently there may only be 2 waitresses on usually but today it was great having 3. It would have been interesting for them if I wasn't there. I'm looking forward to mastering it.

My daily horoscope
Someone may be telling you that you are expecting too much from a romance, friendship, or a work situation. You may even be critiquing yourself, and believing that if only you could be less strict in your requirements that you would be much happier. But most people settle, Scorpio. And therefore, most people believe that other people should settle. After all, misery loves company. You actually have the right idea. Stick to your guns. Remain loyal to your core needs and desires, and you will do fine -- even if it take you longer to find what you're looking for.

This could have something to do with the JD letter and the kind of answer's I'm looking for in regards to his response. I want to know what he's thinking about the whole thing. I'm not expecting much but at least to be friends would be nice and the possibility of seeing each other again for a similar occurance, even though it might not be that good for me because of my ability to attach. Eek. It could also be to do with work. I don't know. It's a good one though.

I really want a bowl of veggies for dinner. I might go up to Thai Culinary and see what they have and if not I'll just get the fried rice with vegies. Nicole tried that with beef and it looked good. Huge too.

I was thinking in the Greenhouse lift today that I think I'm over Yorick but not quite over JD. JD was awesome to cuddle in bed but Yorick was all boney and small. That's a nice thing to smile about. I love rethinking the whole night with JD. I loved the way we first kissed and I am starting to remember small things from that night. I don't remember much though. I was pretty drunk. I remember us talking on the stairs but not feeling any vibes. Drunkness might account for that though. I remember saying I wished I could dance like Liam Finn on the video clip for Second Chance. They asked me to do it but I froze, not in a shy way, but in the way that I was trying to process actually doing it and I couldn't. I said I'd have to look at the video. Weird. I loved that he talked to me first when I got to the party. He talked me through all the rules. When we were first kissing we told each other how we had wanted to be with each other throughout the night. He said it was from when I first walked in. I knew it too. I want that again. I needed to write the letter. I hope he writes back. Little things on Facebook like liking each others statuses or writing little comments isn't enough. It isn't a conversation. It would have been awesome to see each other again. I want to know when he's coming over again!!

Ahh dear. Talked to mum and dad tonight, and Sarah. Going over for Etta's birthday might be tricky as I'm sure I have a class on the Monday. Her birthday is on the Sunday so I might have to get a 10pm flight that evening. I could come over on the Wednesday evening or the Thursday. Something to think about.

Regarding archaeology. I can apply to do it at LaTrobe University [Graduate Certificate in Humanities and Social Sciences] or Melbourne University [Graduate or Postgraduate Diploma in Arts]. Eep! Melbourne Uni is so much closer!! I'll see what happens. I'll apply to both. Yay! I can't wait to do that. It'll be so awesome.

Must go and get some food then go back to the Space Hotel where I'm staying with Nicole for at least tonight. I do need to do a bit of Uni work but I feel like I'll be handing it in late. Eek. I'll have a full-on study day tomorrow but it's due tomorrow. It won't be done by then! I was planning on having today to finish it off but the whole moving thing plus the trial took much longer than expected. Hmm. Maybe I'll be handing it in on Wednesday! Yikes. I'd better get a move on then.

Letter to JD

Hi hottie,

I was sad that I didn't get to see you before you left. It would have been nice to hang out again and get to know each other more and to say goodbye but its hard when you're visiting people and there isn't much time.

I still hope we can get to know each other. I'd really like that. I have more questions! I've wanted to talk to you on Facebook chat but I never knew what to say so I thought this was better.

It makes me smile thinking of the fun we had. It was totally unexpected but that made it even better. You made me want more :P (which is annoying because I can't).

Hoping you're well,

xx

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I didn't want it to sound too girly or say I do or don't want more because it's kinda impossible anyway and I don't know what he's thinking. I wonder what he's going to say. In a way it's good that it's simple but in another way it's still such a girly thing to write just because of the fact it's a letter. I do wish we could have hung out one more time though before he left but maybe it wasn't meant to be. I might have made it a little different on my computer but I thought I copied it all to my phone's notepad so it should have been right but "I still hope we can get to know each other" was a bit of a repeat so whoops! I hope he reads past that. Oh gosh. He'll probably take ages to reply but it'll just be nice to know what he's thinking. Soon please!