Love and romance

Seeing people in love, starting new relationships and cementing it with a passionate first kiss stirs something inside me, a wanting for just that. I am jealous but I know in my heart I will have that one day with someone worthy. Someone who will give me tokens of his affection often and someone who will in truth be my best friend and share everything with me, not someone who is so closed off it is impossible to sustain a relationship with. Sometimes I really miss having Yorick's companionship but I do know something much better is out there for me. I want to know when it will arrive but I think that might be impossible.

I'm going shopping this afternoon for clothes to wear to my new job. Hopefully tomorrow I find out more about the specifics so I can be 100% certain I have the job and what my hours will be. It's a bit frustrating not being that sure of it, even if being asked back does indicate I have the job. Damn that dish washer for breaking when I needed to know the details.

I have started watching The Tudors on DVD. I bought it for $20 yesterday at Big W and I like it. I asked my sister if I should watch it a few months back and she said no, but then again she doesn't like period drama's so she would have no idea. I love it. I think it's a great way of truly understanding how things were done back then. I always want more detail in other drama's from that time. I've never heard of a TV series of this scale being made though. I think it's great.

Yorick was in my dream last night/this morning. The last part I remember is that we were hugging. I loved having him that close and I miss it. I wasn't bending my neck down to rest it on his shoulder though so that makes me think I was envisaging what I would like for the future in a partner while having him for the base as that's all I know. It might be that way. I miss that physical connection though.

I really have to lose some weight and get fit before I even think of being intimate with a man. I want to be happy in myself before doing that, and anyway I'm not ready to move into something so quickly. I do need to get off this computer though and go shopping.