I got up this morning at 12 noon, as I did yesterday, and went to take Katie outside, and as soon as I opened the door I felt that the seasons had finally changed from Winter to Spring. I was reminded immediately of Vanuatu and the lovely weather there, the lazing about and relaxing, and after I made myself some breakfast I went and sat out on the deck in the double swinging chair, ate my breakfast then relaxed in the sun. I stayed out there for maybe half an hour until light drops of rain started to fall from the sky. I reminisced about Vanuatu and it made me think that I really need to get back into doing that Travel Book and once I'm finished putting the pictures in place, I can type up the diary, then begin with the New Zealand one and write free hand and just cut out certain paper shapes as the sizes are all different. It's hard to explain but I know what I'm on about and as I'm sure no one else reads this then it doesn't matter, does it? I need to get it done because this is the time to do it. What other time is there?
Maybe I can take a hire truck to Sydney instead of a small car for some of my stuff. I want to take my TV and desk and chair for my laptop and if it would be easier getting a mattress here then that might be a good idea, especially since I would have no idea of where to buy one in Sydney and would hope they have a delivery service. I'm expecting to have a mattress on the floor, no bed as such, but that's fine with me. It means I'm finally living on my own and doing what I want. I'm excited for that. I would also love to take my chest of draws, not that it has draws, rather shelves, that I got from Mt Nelson. I would definitely need a truck then. And just my clothes and other things like that. Books and DVD's. I won't take a heap, but then I have all my towels and kitchen stuff like pots and pans and plates and stuff that I got from the Yorick-Anna divide. I need a truck. Maybe mum and dad and I can drive up together once I have a house. I guess I'll fly up there and possibly stay with Joyce, my neighbours grandma, while I'm trying to find a house and a job. Then I can fly back down, and drive up with mum and dad, do a road trip sort of thing and stay in caravan parks, then they can drive back and I can start my life, get some fish and flowers and set up house. I'll have to study so much and work as much as I can so hopefully I won't have time to be lonely, and hopefully I can go to Joyce's for a dinner every so often. It won't be so bad with not many people I know. I'll make friends eventually.
Speaking of work, I'm getting my resume into order. After Holly gave me hers I've made it very similar and now I'm going to add my Hotel School units sheet, including the RSA, with it as well as for my Wrest Point Pier One interview yesterday they asked for it, and employers always do. I'm also going to get Alison from thebeach to write me a reference so I can take that with me to Sydney and beyond instead of having them call her up years after I have stopped working there. I think that will be much better. I might even be able to get Holly to write me one based on what Alison writes. Or future employers. Speaking of the interview, I wasn't nervous and it went well but I don't like the scale of the business, like the Hotel Grand Chancellor. I'm over that, and I know it's going to be one of those soul-crushing jobs that I hate and after a while of working in them realised I didn't need that. After finding thebeach I know it'll be worse going backwards into such a horrible workplace. Pier One is cut off from the rest of the Casino so it might be okay but I am just hoping I get the Oomph! job and if not then I'm going around all other cafe's and seeing what happens, starting on Monday.
I really want to be on holiday after my experiences this morning. Last night I was quite down because of the outcome of the interview and general feelings about not working and how my life is pretty crap right now. I don't want to feel like that anymore. I want to be saving for a purpose, to move to Sydney, and I want that date to get closer and closer. I am on holiday, in a way, but the activities such as snorkeling or hiking aren't there. I don't have the Yorick company I used to have and I'm not enjoying this holiday anymore. I want to be working. I want to be out of the house. I'm not coping with this anymore and I want it to end. Please oh please let me get a job at Oomph!. Pretty please.
Next week I'm going back to the gym. Also next week I'll hand in my Maritime Museum application for volunteering and pray I get a call from Oomph!. Might even do a resume drop around Salamanca and Sandy Bay. I'm so excited that soon I'll be able to put a "volunteering" section on my resume, for museums and overseas country travels. I want my life to pick up so badly. It was alright 2-3 months ago just after Yorick and I, dealing with all of that. I was healing, but now that's over I'm sick of it. I'm not "sick" anymore. I can't believe it's been 4 months since we broke up. Crazy. Just crazy. Now he's moved on and that's okay. Whenever I'm watching love stories in movies I enjoy watching first kisses and beautiful moment and really want that for myself, but only when the time is right. Not now. It wouldn't mean what I want it to mean now. I want it to last, and I want to be feeling great about myself and my body, which I'm still not. Definitely not the right time. I know I will want that closeness but I want everlasting love and a husband more. I can wait.
I'm looking forward to this weekend starting tonight. I have work tonight, then tomorrow is Dani's engagement party, which means friends and going out, and Sunday is more work. I'll ask Alison today, or at least write on the roster for next week, that I'm available for more shifts, being free for Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, and my regular Saturday and Sunday shifts. I want more there so if I get Oomph! I won't need Pier One. The interviewers were saying pretty much that I'd have to quit thebeach j Iust to accommodate their hours, but I'm not ready to give up on thebeach. It's the best job I've had and I'm not done yet. Something better will turn up. It has to.
I feel like I need to drink a heap of water so I'd better go and do that, and get the mail and get ready to go pick up Sophie and take her to her car in town. At least I'll be out of the house.
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