Friday, 11 March 2011

Dreaming

The last two nights I've had dreams about Yorick. It's nothing to do with getting back together or anything like that, but it's more about who I think he is now and his attitude creeping into my dreams. I don't like who I think he is now, who I hear he is from people like Holly and Sophie who see him and tell me the gossip. I don't like that he's in my dreams. I remember that after Jeremy, for a while I was interested in what he was up to but over time that faded to the point where I almost forgot he existed. I can't wait for that to happen with Yorick. I don't want to think about him and spy on him through my sister's Facebook account. I'm just glad we haven't had contact since 1.1.11 so I can't make a fool out of myself in front of him. I can't help but spy on him and love the gossip but hopefully that will pass.

Hope, courage, and bravery.

So, what's new? No house news but I am secretly waiting for Sarah's ex housemate Nicole to get a job here and say she'll live with me. Until then I might wait. I had a bit of an almost breakdown on Wednesday going out to Uni and back for the text book. I had had a little look at some photos I've seen of James, George and Etta and it made me almost cry seeing them. On the tram I was sad. Damn hormones. My Pills ran out and I missed one and the hormones swept in. I've been feeling emotional since then. Drat. I can't remember my train of thought as I started this rant but I know it had a purpose. I wanted to say something else. I hate forgetting that kind of thing.

I have been getting into studying as of yesterday and am quite enjoying it. I have taken a little break now as dad got me thinking about external hard drives and he'll buy one for me there and put all the TV episodes from the Margate computer onto it then send it over. Mum will be getting some money from the Uni books I put up to be sold so they'll take the money out of that. I need to get a new laptop. Monica at the Mission got her mini laptop for $300 at Dick Smith but I might get a mid-sized one. Not too big, not too small. I can't choose between the two sizes. Small is great for lectures, train rides, and holidays, but bigger is better for writing assignments, watching TV shows and altering photographs etc.. You can always get a monitor for the smaller one but I may as well go for the medium sized type. I'm a bit worried about money at the moment so I'll wait until I'm settled in a house and have a job. I want one for under $500 if that's possible, which is should be.

The Mission was good yesterday. I did a lot of scanning until Monica's laptop had a nap as she forgot the power chord. Oops. Then we went on the computer there, had some lunch near the Police Museum, and went home by 3ish. I went to Centrelink after that and got all my business sorted. My address has been changed to here, at Kirsten's, and I have my temporary Health Care Card which gives me comfort on public transport when the ticket inspectors come and ask you for your tickets. Apparently you have to have the Health Care Card to qualify for a concession ticket. I was astonished when Kirsten told me. There are signs on the trams that I didn't see. Ha ha ha. Now I know and now I am safe. They've been on the trams twice, once the looked at the date, which I strategically only showed them, and the second time they didn't bother. Strange but a relief. I do like traveling on trams.

I do miss home a bit but I haven't cried about it. I miss the ease of the life there, knowing where everything is, and having family to be around all the time, but here I love the new adventure, Uni, being in Kirsten's house, and how everything is new and exciting. I love the lifestyle and yet I miss my old one. I almost cried on Wednesday because I was going to look at a bedsit in Richmond, which was already taken despite still being on the internet, and realise that I didn't want to live alone in this city because I would be so isolated. I wouldn't see my friends enough to get me by and would too often be alone. I came to the decision that I must live with someone. I'm not as brave as some people to live alone, even though in many ways I would prefer it, but at this stage I'm a coward. And that's okay. I am building up my bravery. One step at a time. I couldn't imagine living by myself for a year and not having family around to make it okay. In Tasmania it would be more than fine as the whole place is a comfort to me but here it would be too different and hard to deal with. I just hope it all works out with Nicole and that she would want to live with me. Eek. Otherwise I'm sure I'll be able to find someone like me and Nicole to live with. I won't limit myself to Richmond or Hawthorn, even though I'd love to live in either of those suburbs, because it's not too hard to get out to Uni from Kirsten's and it might make finding a place easier. I'll just have to wait and see.

Change doesn't always come easy, Scorpio -- even when it's a good change. You may be enduring some tempestuous circumstances now. There is a sense of upheaval, of confusion. But this is all clearing the way for a change in your life that will be a relief once is arrives and you recognize the difference in yourself and in those around you. Put a smile on your face, and know that whatever happens today and over the next few days will be for the greater good. Evolution is in progress.

Wednesday, 9 March 2011

Mini update

I am currently in the city on the internet in a cool cafe Jess introduced to me when we met up. I tried to look at houses but nothing's quite in my price range for just me. I haven't heard back from the Mary St place yet but there is another one I might check out this afternoon after I come back from Uni. The unit reader[s] I need are in so I'll go and get them then check out this place. I can go get the key from the real estate, which I'll have to figure out where to go to first while I'm on the internet. Tonight I'll talk to mum and dad and maybe James and George. They'll all be having dinner at home and I'm so excited to talk to them and tell them all about how Uni is going. I love the field trips. It's so much better than sitting in class! Eep. I did a little shopping and got myself some new movies, more period dramas. I can't wait to watch them. I got some Caesar salad from Sumo Salad and it was horrible but at least I've filled myself up. Now I just have to find somewhere to get a key cut and head to Uni and back then check out this house. Better get on the road!

Tuesday, 8 March 2011

Day 2 and horoscopes

Oh my gosh I am broken. I have a headache and feel weird. It must be the heat and all the learning. Today at Uni we had a lecture in the morning then went to the Schwerkolt Cottage and Historical Museum. It was quite amazing. I got a lift from a lady there and back to Kirsten's and I am so glad to be back. I'm frustrated about not having my own place though. I don't want to outstay my welcome here.

A nice, inspiring and through-provoking horoscope for me today --

If you are looking for security, Scorpio, you will have to find it in yourself -- not in exterior forces like money, prestige, power, or other people. All of those can come and go. There are no guarantees. The only way to gain confidence and self esteem is to build it internally. That begins with faith -- faith in yourself, faith in your abilities, faith in those who love you, and faith in the universe. Now more than ever you need to trust that the cosmos knows what you need, and will provide it. When you can reach a sense of balance in that regard, you will gain a sense of security that no one can shatter.

My horoscope from Saturday the 5th --

If you have been feeling stressed and pressured recently by money or security-related issues, you will soon be able to breathe a sign of relief. New opportunities to increase your income and add greater stability to your financial outlook will occur just when you need them most. In the meantime, don't give up hope, and don't do anything that may cause your situation to become worse -- such as borrowing money or making a financial commitment of any kind. Over the next few months, your situation could improve to the point that you will wonder why you were ever so worried about it in the first place.

I truly hope this is true, that things improve. I do feel stressed and pressured but next Monday I will receive my Centrelink payment and that gives me comfort. The money side is a bit stressful but my main concern is finding a place to live. I want to live by myself, and as the horoscope above points to, I have to have faith in myself in that even though I will feel lonely sometimes, I am doing the best thing for myself at this time and I have friends around and can call my family whenever I want or need to. It's also about getting myself and my life organised. I want to get into the routine of great habits and I believe that living in a share house will restrict this. I can only rely on myself and by living alone I will have to be self-sufficient, which will help me grow in many ways. I just hope something turns up soon. Kirsten's laptop isn't loading the real estate page properly so I'm having a hard time.

For right now, I might get something to eat and have a rest while watching a movie, maybe Easy A. I watched Marie Antoinette a few times and I really like it. I need to send it to mum as it was her idea for me to buy it for her. It was my idea to watch it first. I love those period dramas. I belong in one. Sigh. Hopefully I will feel better soon.

Monday, 7 March 2011

Weekend re-cap and my first day

Wow. I haven't written since Friday. A lot and not a lot has happened since then. I'll start with Friday night.

Friday night was the houses combined house-warming and for Kirsten's birthday as well as a celebration of the other housemates birthdays which were a month or two ago. Lots of people came and I had a bit of fun, but most of the time I just wanted to leave but I couldn't. I went out and socialised though and had some nice enough chats. I like Kirsten's friend Tina a lot. She's lovely. Towards the end I had a really nice drink with The Germans, as Kirsten calls them, Kat and Lena. Kat is with Stefan and Lena is their friend visiting. They made an awesome drink with muddled lime, 1 shot of vodka, 1 shot of lime cordial, and lots of crushed ice. I had two of those and didn't leave enough time to get sober before I went bed. I wasn't drunk, but feeling buzzed. I was hungover in the morning. Not fun. It sucked because I got into bed at probably 2 or 3 or something but couldn't sleep because I was worried someone would come into Kirsten's room with me in there and harass me. I put my heavy suitcase in front of the door but I was still a bit paranoid and completely aware of what was going on despite trying to nap. It didn't. So Saturday I was very tired.

On Saturday we cleaned the house. I was meant to go to a trial at Kamel but was feeling sick, and had been a bit sick, so I called up and canceled. I haven't heard anything from them since then. Hmm. I don't mind though because it will be better to get a job in the suburb I end up living in. It's easier that way. If I ever find a place to live that is. I want to live alone if possible. After the cleaning, Kirsten and I went to The Great Northern nearby for some chips and a coke/diet coke. The others joined us [Sandi, the other housemate, and her new bf Nick, Stefan and Lena] then Tom [Kirsten's bf] and two of his friends came along. We didn't stay too long. Home after that and a pretty early night. Kirsten stayed over at Tom's for the night so I got the comfy bed. I've been staying on the floor on lots of blankets and a thin camping blow up mattress, which is fine, but the bed is comfier. I have it again tonight too.

Sunday I slept in and it was bad because I found it hard to sleep last night. Once I got up and had some breakfast I went into the City. I wanted to find a backpack for Uni, and I did. I went to this Traveler and Souvenir shop and got a simple backpack for $20. Great! It does the trick. I also went to the National Gallery of Victoria. I didn't see all of it as it was an extremely hot day so I will go back another time and see the rest. I wanted to go to the Botanical Gardens but once again the heat zapped me of any energy so I went to the Victoria Gardens just across the road from the NGV. Then I went back to Kisten's. Later that night she went for a run with a friend and I came along and rode her old bike. It was nice and refreshing as the weather was still nice but the wind in my face as I rode was beautiful. I loved it. We went around this pretty big circuit twice not far from the house. Then I tried to get to sleep and failed.

Today I had my first day of Uni! I thought I was going to be late but the tram driver was awesome. They kept dinging the bell to make cars get out of the way. I still don't understand why on earth they should be allowed to drive over the tram tracks the same way the tram goes. It's ridiculous! It's totally insane and I think it should be dis-aloud. Anyway, I got to the classroom and the lecture hadn't started yet but almost everyone was there. I sat in the back. The lecturer introduced herself and we all did the same. The other students have amazing backgrounds and at least two did a Bachelor of Archaeology at LaTrobe. I'm so jealous. Maybe there's a postgraduate course in archaeology I can do. I'd love that. Then we got into the lecture. Well we read through the unit outline then got into the lecture. We have 3 assignments, one of which I have done part of a draft for tonight, and I'm worried about the last two. The first one should be easy enough to knock off, but it's the others I'll struggle with I believe. I'll get some help. This unit isn't all in the classroom though, which is exciting. We went to the Deakin Art Gallery in the afternoon and will be doing similar excursions on almost each other day we're there. We have 6 days and on 5 of them we'll be out in the field. Pretty exciting. We had a look in the small Deakin gallery then went outside and saw the many sculptures around the campus. Yet another hot day so I struggled. I went on the computers for a bit after the 'lecture' ended then went home. Got off the tram and caught the train but I'm not sure it was much of a time-saver, although the tram was going extremely slow. Kirsten made a too-spicy-for-me curry and I did some homework!

Tomorrow should be good. I need to get up and leave earlier to be able to get myself something to eat for lunch. There wasn't much available at Uni and I'll have to go to the cafe early to secure an apple and cinnamon muffin. Today I got a blueberry one and it was nice but not the same. I want to buy a salad or something so I'll have to go in a lot earlier than I did today. That can be done. I didn't like the stress. I can't remember where we're going tomorrow afternoon but it should be good. Then I'll have Thai Culinary for dinner. Mmm.

There are a few more houses I need to have a look at online. There is a bit of a crappy looking one in Richmond. The ad says it's good for older people or something but I may as well take a look. You can grab the keys from the real estate and go to town. There is one in Elwood that looks nice but Kirsten says that's ages away. I remember going to St Kilda with Amy in 2005 and loved the area but I seem to recall that Elwood wasn't that far away from there and the tram ride didn't seem to take all that long. I guess we'll see. Sarah knows a guy [Nick Cupit] who is moving to Melbourne soon and looking for someone to live with. He went to our high school and apparently knows me as I have served him at thebeach, not that I remember, but Sarah and I talked on the phone about it and us living together. I'd rather my own place, at least I think so, but I might get lonely. Then again I might feel resentment living with others, regretful. There's no need to be scared. I'll be busy enough and can go and see my friends when I feel sad. I don't want to impose on Kirsten and her flatmates for too much longer. It's been a week already! Crazy. Hopefully I get the Hawthorn house for $150 a week in Mary St but I've started looking at what's closer to $200 but still under. The Elwood one is $165 I think. Hmm. I'll see what happens.

Friday, 4 March 2011

Museum Studies

I just rang the Uni bookshop and my book is on the way. I'll get an email about it once it's in and ready for me to pick up. It's not of high priority because apparently there are only 20 enrolled in the course! That's insane! I can't believe how few people there are in total, but it'll make it awesome and give us more time to get to know one another and the lecturers. I think it's going to be great! I really can't wait to start. Monday can't come soon enough. It has been 6 months in the making so there's that...

Kirsten's birthday

Today is Kirsten's birthday! We had cake for breakfast. I had cereal either side of that so I don't feel so bad. The cake was alright. I don't have anywhere in particular to be today so I'm struggling a bit with what to do. I need to go to Centrelink and I need to call the Deakin bookshop because I'm missing one set of readers, which I didn't realise. I had listed all my units as online so they sent me the books, but I changed them to on campus study. I changed one back when I saw that there were the readers but not the other as the bookshop didn't mention anything about readers. I looked online last night and they don't have the ones I need in stock so I'll call them soon and ask if there are any anywhere. There is an online copy but I prefer having the physical book. So there's that! I will also vacuum this place for Kirsten before the birthday party tonight [combined] and I need to get in contact with George's cousin about having a meet up just for fun. There are some other little things I can't think of.

Yesterday I had my first day of volunteering at the Mission to Seafarers. It's so cruisy there. Monica taught me how to catalogue photographs so I did that for most of the day. The photographs were of the stained-glass windows in the Saint Peter the Mariner's Chapel and I found it hard to describe the and use religious or olden-day terms. I'm not so good at that. She got me to bring my laptop to do some scanning on but I didn't bring the CD drive thinking I wouldn't need it so I didn't actually use it. It was a bit of a waste to lug it around there and back. We finished at around 3pm and I went and met Nicole, Sarah's now ex flatmate from Tassie. We had a drink [hot chocolate for me, iced mocha for her] and a chat. Then I did some shopping and came back here. I did some more study, found lots of useful things on the Deakin website about unit resources and unit guides. Now I just have to find out about that last reader. It's for Monday so that's a bit annoying. Arrg.

Tomorrow I have that trial at Kamel. I'm not looking forward to it only because I'm used to not working anymore and I love it! I want to keep not working and just get Centrelink. I wonder if with all the study I'm sure I'll be doing if I'll have time for a job. I'll have one, hopefully two days of volunteering work, and that leaves three days. I might have to work on a few of them but I'll need one day free for sanity and for studying but I'm sure I'll always have to study. I take a long time to read one chapter so having lots of breaks in between works the best for me. Drat it.

I had a lovely chat to mum, Sarah, James, dad and George last night in that order. It was strange being on the other side as we usually call people who are far away and now that's me. It's strange not being there for the dinner I miss that. I didn't even know about it and that makes me a little sad. Now I get what Sarah meant about being out of the loop. It was so easy living there knowing everything that was going on. Thinking about it makes me a little sad now! And feeling crap about this trial is getting me down more. It would be nice to disapparate there Harry Potter style for lunch or something lovely. If only. I was thinking of going back for Easter but I had a look at flights for the 21st to the 25th or something and it'll be $300! That's not cool. I'll check for cheaper ones. I might have a week off Uni at some stage but I'm not quite sure yet. I might go then. Who knows.

It feels so natural and relaxed being in Melbourne and yet so much, or not so much, is still happening back home. It's strange to be missing out on that. It makes me sad that I'm missing out on seeing Etta grow up more and more. I'll be back to visit eventually and not let her go. Hehe.

I really want to get started on my running training. Once I'm settled in a house I'll have to start my 6-12 week program. Kirsten mentioned the half-marathon. She's going to enter and Sandi, one of her housemates, is also going to enter and yet she hasn't trained much. It's not until October so hopefully Sandi and I will be ready by then. Plenty of time. I really hope I get the Hawthorn house. Please! I doubt it but please!

What else is news? Not much. I can't wait to start Uni on Monday but first I have to get over the hurdle of this darn trial at Kamel. I might really like it and might even get a bit of cash for it which would be awesome. I'll just have to endure it. It won't last forever. It's a shame it's so far away though. I could do Friday and Saturday day shifts there for a while. I want to keep Sundays free. I hate working on Sundays.

I went into the Telstra shop yesterday and upgraded my internet from 500mb to 1g. I can't wait for it to kick in. I didn't even have to pay! I'm so excited about that. All I need now is a new computer with internet that works. Something lighter and smaller maybe. I'm not sure if I should get one of the mini laptops or just a normal sized one. Depends if it's really light or not. I like the idea of taking a small one traveling for the internet and storing photos. One day I might have both.

I will call the Uni bookshop and see what they say about the books.

Wednesday, 2 March 2011

Mary St and Uni

Yesterday was pretty much exhausting. I had a really good sleep last night though, expect or the fact that my body was a bit sick. It was nice to sleep in although still being up reasonably early, with no pressure to get up at insane times or do be somewhere at a particular time. Today I have plenty to do in the city and Hawthorn/Camberwell but it's nice it's not rushed.

I went and saw the Mary St unit in Hawthorn and I loved it. It has a nicely sized bedroom, enough for a double bed and more space, there is a nice kitchen area at the back of the room you walk into as well as a combined lounge/dining area once you walk in. There is a door on the left but that's to another unit so I think it was glued shut. On the other side there is a storage space, not huge, but it might lead out the back. I was there just as she had locked the door and asked if I was too late but she let me in for a quick look. The only thing I didn't have a look at was the bathroom, which is actually down the hall but for exclusive use of this unit. I was so rushed that I forgot. I had left Uni at 5 and though half an hour would be enough time, and it would have been if I had caught the tram up the long street I had to walk/run up to get to Mary St. I was so puffed and sweaty by the time I got there. The street Mary St runs off, Glenferrie Road maybe, is so great. There is a train station and so many shops and cafes and restaurants and it's just a lovely area. Seeing the other streets from the tram didn't inspire me but the one I saw yesterday did. I want that unit! Super bad. The street it's on is so lovely. Great houses and lots of trees. It's probably the worst house on the street but that's okay with me! There were a few other applicants there when I arrived, although I wasn't there at the start so there could have been more. I don't think my chances are very high but I have to try. Please pick me!

Today I need to go to Harvey Norman and get a $99 1 Terabite external hard drive. I also need to go to a Telstra shop and upgrade my phones internet. I keep going over it because I don't really have regular access to the internet like home. I will also go to Camberwell and visit this other house and a lady called Anne who lives there. I would 100 times rather the Mary St house as it's closer and perfect for me but I may as well see Anne's place just in case. I really want this house. Nicole, Sarah's almost ex-flatmate will be here in the city today too so we'll have some lunch. For now I guess I'll keep surfing the internet then shower and get ready for my outing.

I had a look at all my Uni books yesterday and the pile is huge! There will be so much reading to do. Oh, I got a job trial at Jess's work but it's in the opposite direction. It's for this Saturday at 1130am. I was just thinking how with all my Uni work I might only be able to do 2 days work and 2 days volunteering [I need another museum volunteer position] leaving one day to study non-stop. I can't afford to be travelling all the way across the city just for work when I hopefully live at Mary St and can walk to work. It's more convenient and would be a better use of my time.

Right, better get moving!

Also, I am loving my Deakin zip-up hoody. It's great! In Tasmania, there was only 1 Uni so no need to wear Uni clothing. Here because there are maybe 7 Uni's it's nice to state which one I'm from. Hehe.

Tuesday, 1 March 2011

Day 2 O-Week

I'm on the computers in the library at Deakin! It's funny how little things like this make me smile. I have been so tired all day as I had to get up at 6am. I had a hot chocolate and a V but I'm still a bit funny. I need to catch up on all the good nights sleep I missed while at the YHA. Arrrg to that. I kept missing the trams this morning but the next ones weren't that far away so it's all okay, it was just a little annoying but funny at the same. I arrived at 845 like Zain and I had agreed but she was late on her bus with our new friend Shereena from Malaysia. Zain is from Sri Lanka. We missed the lecture, well welcome from the arts and education faculties, but there was a repeat put on at 12 so Shereena and I went to that. It's been a long day. I have quite a lot of pamphlets and goodies and am waiting until 430pm to go to my postgraduate afternoon tea. I did a library tour at 3-320pm and that was interesting. At 5 I'll get the tram and go see this house in Hawthorn. Hopefully I love it and can grab it. I'm not desperate but it's one of the only prospects. Sad. That's about it for now.