Pop tarts

I'm going to buy pop tarts today then go to Emma's house for dinner and movies!

And once again I'm searching for the perfect font for my surname [not an easy task] for my first tattoo. Here are todays finds.

Superpoint

Yikes

Barcode Font

I want something that won't go out of style and something I won't get sick of or regret. I'm not sure how I'll find it but it must be out there somewhere. In that respect I guess it's like my perfect relationship. It'll appear eventually.

December is almost over, almost

I am so excited December is almost over. It's only the 9th but it has already gone by so fast and I am very grateful. Soon it will be January and I'll find out whether or not I'm accepted to the University of Sydney [and I can start ordering and getting someone to screen print for me one of those classic Uni tees that people wear. I want to get two of the grey Threadless tees from the American Apparel website and have one for the Uni of Sydney and one for the Uni of Tasmania. They each have a specific font so I'll have to get that somehow and replicate it onto the tees.] and I can finally start making plans. I can't wait to start organising everything I want to take with me.

Last night while thinking about it I had forgotten that I'll probably do a home stay until I find a house. I will be looking for a house and for a job before I leave, and that will make it easier as I was starting to panic thinking that I wouldn't be able to take a lot with me, just a carry-on bag, and I would have to make another trip back just for my stuff. I think that by organising to stay at someones house I'll save money and be able to take a big suitcase with me. I imagined myself sorting through all my stuff and deciding what to take with me. Packing that suitcase will at least take a week to organise. I'll probably head over mid to late January for orientation [I'd better get in because I'm counting on it] then come back, work a bit, and go over again. It's a bit annoying having to go over and back but I can scout out some possible houses while I'm there and maybe not have to do a house stay thing. I'd rather be sorted at the beginning of February so I have time to settle in before Uni starts.

I probably don't need all that time but I'd like to explore the city more too. I would like to know the city close to as well as I know Hobart but that's impossible. I grew up here and have a map in my head, and I love that but it will be hard to get that with Sydney. I'll try though. I won't be bored over there because I can just go out and explore. Exciting! I want to make a cubby, but I would have to find blankets and extra pillows. I'll have to buy them. No cubby straight away then. I'll have to watch my spendings. I will need to get a job as soon as I can but again I'll look before I go. Matt from thebeach went to a job when he moved to Melbourne. I can do that too! It'll all work out. I just have to make and save as much money now as I can and I'll be okay. I have plenty of time left, kinda sorta.

I really miss my mp3 player. It's kinda broken and unless I find the box it came in I can't do anything about it. Also my car radio doesn't work because the code is lost and it shouldn't be but there you go. I hate living a music-less life especially in my car or on walks with Katie because they are the times I would listen to music. At the moment I'm listening to VersaEmerge's album Fixed At Zero on YouTube and am loving it. I might have to invest in another player or CDs. I'd rather another player, or to get mine fixed, because I need to save my money. I'll have another scoop in my room. Now I'm thinking -- will I take my 18th birthday present, a CD player, with me? It has a sub woofer and everything. It definitely won't fit in my suitcase but it could be sent up. It would be nice to play music out loud and not just on my mp3 player if I ever get if fixed. Yorick got it for me for Christmas last year to the warranty might have already run out but I have to find it and see.

Today I'm going to get an Advent Calendar for Christmas. I wanted to get one weeks ago at Target but they had a sad range where I looked and nothing interested me. I'll find a good one today at Big W when I go to meet Sophie before work. Before then I have to walk Katie and have some lunch. I'll probably stay out unless we finish at Big W quickly. I work at 6 so I'll see how it goes.

I can and will do it

I'm sick of everyone telling me how hard it will be moving to Sydney and how much money I'll have to save first because I won't be able to get a job. Oh how I'll prove them wrong. I'm not too pissed off about it but it is annoying. I'm going to make it work! It will probably be hard but I'm looking forward to the challenge. I'll be able to find a job fine, maybe not straight away but there will be something out there. I'll get Centrelink and I'll survive. I'll spend as little money as possible and make it work that way if I have to. I can do this!

I just booked my accommodation for the backpackers in Melbourne. I'm glad that's sorted. I'll get paid the day I arrive in Melbourne too so that's comforting. I'll try not to spend to much money there either. Seeing some of the museums might cost a little bit as will getting around the city but I can manage not spending much. It's all for a good purpose.

Why don't people believe in me!? I'm going to do just fine. I can't wait to move and get a cute little house and, over time, set it up with cute things.

Possible jobs

+ Gallery or Museum Attendant

+ Air Hostess / Flight Attendant

+ Waitress [although I'd rather not]

+ Sales Assistant at a bookstore or clothing store

It won't be that hard to get a job. I can do it! I can!

Love in 2011

Lately I have been religiously checking my daily horoscope on my phone and last night after midnight I checked the one I got for today. I love it.

A new year is coming, Scorpio. And it comes with the chance to begin again. What will you write on your fresh slate? Hopefully you have learned a lesson or two about love, and about hanging on to a good relationship tight enough to show you care, but not so tight that you smother it. Even though we're only entering the second week of December, it's not too early to start composing your resolutions for 2011. Make your love life a priority for the coming year. It's your time to shine, and love should be at the top of your list of priorities.

Love and family, travel and my career are the three things on the top of my life list so this fits in perfectly. Whenever I think of next year I think of falling in love and finding that illusive soul-mate as well as starting the year with a fresh slate. After this year I need it. I am so excited. Panda [a work mate] and I were talking about relationships last night and I really miss being in one and having an ongoing dialogue with someone but at the same time it's good that I have this chance to rearrange my life and focus on what I want in it. I am glad I'm not with Yorick anymore and it's great because I didn't know I wasn't getting what I wanted. Thanks to starting the BSW, I now have the skills to thoroughly examine relationships or anything really even when I'm in it. I just have to look deep and figure out if I'm getting what I want.

I am amazed at how accurate this horoscope is concerning my desire for a fresh slate next year. I can't wait to go out on my own and make a life for myself. I want to have fresh berries in the fridge for breakfast and make banana bread again and eat healthily. I want to do Jillian Michaels' Making the Cut over 30 days and get my dream body. I want to find a great house for a great price not to far from Uni if possible [or in cycling distance] and study my butt off so I can get into my dream career. I want to meet the man I'm to marry and go on holidays with him and settle down. I want it all and next year is when I'm hoping it will happen.

I love imagining the house I'll have and over time getting furniture and filling the empty spaces. It will be great to have my own space and make it just how I want. I might have to get re-inspired by Carrie Bradshaw. I want to get vases and flowers and fish and I want to frame my posters and have a table by the front door for my bag and keys. I would love an outdoor table and 2 chair set and one of the wicker egg-shaped chairs. It'll be fantastic.

Badness

I have been totally sucking at work over the last month. I keep doing things wrong, forgetting things, and I think it's all because I have an approximate leaving date in mind and I'm getting slack. I'm dreading going to work this week although it's Joerg's last week and he's been the one there when I've been doing these things. My mind isn't working as well at work as it used to. I'm hating it.

I don't feel like doing anything today. I really need to take Katie for a walk, unless dad can do it later on, and then I have my Tuesday volunteering at the Maritime. Then after that I have work. I've been getting into bad sleeping habits again. I go to bed late and even though I get woken up early by the sun, I have adapted and can go back to sleep now for a few hours and the light doesn't bother me. No! I loved getting into good habits. I'm sad I'm not anymore.

I can't wait for next year. I really want to get into the Uni of Sydney because moving there anyway would be better if I had that Uni to go to instead of doing Deakin via distance. I hope I get a second round offer. Damn not making it into the first round. I'm in a crappy mood.

Uni, Uni, Uni

I really liked going back to Uni today, as I did last Monday. I love looking forward to this. Today, as boring as it might sound, we discussed writing an application for a position at MONA. The position is for a Gallery Attendant and we are to submit an application as our first assignment and then I believe it will also be sent off to MONA. Some of us will get jobs but I don't think I'm right for it. Plus I'm leaving the state so that won't help. Bad timing. I might have to do this sort of work on the way to being a curator so it can't hurt finding out about the job.

I had a brainwave today. If I don't get accepted to the University of Sydney, that doesn't mean I can't move there. I can still do the diploma via distance at Deakin and move to Sydney! I think that's a great idea! Mum might think it's a bit weird but I'd rather live in Sydney because I find it beautiful and that's where I'd like to do the masters and end up. I am still hoping I get accepted to the Uni in Sydney because the course and the campus are far superior to that of Melbourne but it's not up to me. I'll plan to move there no matter what. That makes me happy. Sydney is fantastic.

Nirrimi and inspiration

I have just stumbled upon another new blog that I absolutely adore. It is by the stunning Nirrimi. I found her last night and today I went back to the beginning of her blog when I found this. It's something that I need to do --

It's curious how good it feels when you take risks and live. Shoot through the cold wet and count the hail by the red marks on your back. You need to break the pattern to feel truly alive. Yell in the street or go somewhere very unfamiliar. Hug a stranger. Be spontaneous. This is your only life, don't waste your youth or your days.

She lives. Truly lives. I don't. I am wasting my time and think that next year when I'm in a new state and going to Uni that I'll do these kinds of things. What about the now? Do I think that doesn't count? Apparently I don't. I am not hugely creative or good at improvising. I have to think of these great things then set out to do them. I don't go out and do things otherwise because they're not on my radar. I don't just go out and see what happens. I'm a bit blind. Here are more inspiring words --

I've learnt that to make dreams come true, you have to be obsessed. truly, utterly obsessed. I think of obsession as passion squared, and if you have passion for something people will see that. If you go through an entire day without doing something towards your dream, you're not obsessed enough to make it happen. Sure, some people get lucky, but we're not going to wait around to see if that's us. We need to make things happen for ourselves, because we are the only ones in control of our lives. With enough obsession and work any dream can come true for you. You will be disappointed, sleepless and somedays you will want to give up, but you will be happy, because you are living

Maybe I need to be more obsessed. I do think about next year all the time, every day, and I think about how great life will be once it happens. Wherever I end up, I'll make it great. I might be obsessed enough but there is always room for more. I could ring up and talk to someone and pester them into giving me an offer. Then again that would probably backfire and I already know what they will say, almost.

One thing I have decided on is to give myself a cut-off date for my New Zealand and Vanuatu Travel Books. It's time, and they have to be done before I move or they'll never get done. Enough of being lazy and thinking I'll get to them. If I keep going along this train of thought they'll never get done! And they must. I can shorten the word requirements to just the activities and places we went to and keep the diary for my own personal use. I can even have a separate blog about it and put the pictures in. That'll be nice. It's about time I kicked myself into gear. Talking to Micaela about it when we caught up a few weeks ago got me thinking about it more. That'll give me something to do.

Sometimes I wish I were free, that I hadn't been molded by society into someone who follows the rules. I wish I had the guts to be like Nirrimi.

Much of society seems to think there is a 'right' way to live life. A formula. Finish school, go to university, climb the career ladder, get married, settle, buy a house, have children, have granddchildren, retire, die. It's strange that something so outdated is so widely spread. I was told I would never become a photographer if I didn't finish school. People my own age sometimes ask, why are you acting like an adult when you're so young? Shouldn't you be out partying and actually being a teenager? Because there is a right way to be the age you are! Well I guess I am a rebel by not being rebellious then. Isn't it all ridiculous? Sometimes I think about this and ache to be brave and push aside my fear. And so I'm going to be loud about what I'm passionate about, even if I'm not supported.

I want cute clothes like this. Nice Summer dresses and cute boots. I might have to get the ones I found on the internet but I need to stop spending so much money!

From here.

Sydney will be fantastic. I'll chuck out most of my wardrobe and start again [although I have started getting new great pieces], and I will start again with my underwear drawer. I read in someone's post about how you should treat yourself by spending $25 on underwear and that sometimes they wish they could chuck all their underwear out and start again. I like that idea. I think I'll adopt it. Clothes make me feel great, special, new. I want that feeling for Sydney, if that's where I end up.

Never give up on all your loves and dreams, let them out to be loud!

I love the way Nirrimi talks about children.

Most people may want to live first and then have children, but for me, having children will be living.

I can't wait to have children of my own but first I have to find my one true love. There are so many things I want to do in life, and the majority of them involve travel. Children can come too after all. Because of society, my mind has already become accustomed to imagining children having to go to school and being settled. I want to be wild with them and I want them to travel with me. A lot can happen before they turn 5 and need to go to school. It is required after all.

I take a mental photograph like I often do and I close my eyes tightly while it develops.

I think I have spent enough time on the internet. I have loved spending the last few hours with Nirrimi.

New surname tattoo fonts

I might be stumbling across a new font for my surname tattoo. After discovering the happiness quote one and how great that looked, I wasn't happy with the one I had chosen for my surname. Now I have more options. I love how the 'A Little Pot' font [all from www.dafont.com by the way] looks kind of childish. This one is my favourite so far and might be the overall winner! Eeek! I want to show Holly first and see what she thinks. She can always see things I can't and gives me great advice.

A Little Pot

Dali

Hand of Sean

Kingthings Wrote

Making the Cut

I'm looking forward to starting Jillian Michaels program. Before that I'm going to have to sort out all the recipes and adjust the 30 day meal plan that's in the book as I don't like a lot of food normal people do. Nuts and red meat are two examples of this. It'll be a nice distraction from all the boredom. I'm also going to do daily blog updates about it and take a before and after pictures, as is suggested in the book, and document it completely. I'm excited about it.