That boy

Glenn is just amazing. We were talking on the phone last night after I finished work but it was hard to hear him at times because of the reception in South Hobart, so we went onto Google+ and did a Hangout. It was so lovely to see him. It's always better than talking on the phone but of course it's not always possible. We had the best talk. At one stage I said that we've pretty much decided that I'm to move home, which is something I'm happy to do, not only for us but for other reasons such as family, friends, and my career. I said that's all good as long as he doesn't change his mind. To that he said he'll wait for me! That's the most romantic thing ever. I love that. We talked a little about how things will change, but it'll be for the best. We've only spent 9 days together in the last 1.5 months so we're looking forward to spending a lot more time together. He said he'll date the shit out of me. He he he. He said he likes that he's not feeling any pressure from me and it's the same for me from him. We're relaxed. I can't wait until next weekend when he's here for 5 days from noon on the Thursday to around the same time on the Wednesday. We already have some things planned but I'm stressing a little about what shifts I'll have at Veludo. I haven't been getting many lately, and next weekend that suits me more than ever, although I do need the money, more stress right there. Earlier yesterday things were making me feel completely stressed and all I wanted to do was to be with Glenn, but it's not possible right now. I seriously can't wait until he's here. Then he's away until the 1st of October factoring in time zones for him coming back from Europe. We'll have another 5 days together then too. Then I'll be down in Hobart from the 24th of October to the 3rd of November! 10-11 days. I can't wait! God I miss him. I miss being able to hug him and kiss him and do the soft scratchy back massage thing with him. I miss getting to know him more, although we're doing a pretty good job now. We talked everyday, if only via text, but we talk every day or two and do maybe one Google+ Hangout a week. We're doing well. I love that he's going to wait for me. He just wants me to put myself first. I don't exactly want to move back to the city of Hobart as I'd much rather be in Melbourne itself, but I'm doing this for us. As long as I can get a job I'll be set. Then we will find out how far we will go. I want my own house, to do up just how I like it. I want masons jars for drinking out of. I want to frame and have my posters up. I want the awesome wooden closet I got from Mt Nelson and place for my gym equipment. I want him to come over all the time and for me to go to his place. I want him to date the shit out of me! I can't wait. We send each other pictures of ourselves, by the way. I have some lovely ones from him. He actually owes me some. Not long now until he's here. On the Thursday we'll check into the George Powlett Motel in East Melbourne then as long as I'm not working, or if god forbid I am I can get rid of it, then we'll go to Bimbos for dinner and see Tiger Funk again, the band that was on the time he, Nicole and I went. We're also going to have lots of warm cider, and have either a double or triple date with his friends and Amy and Gav, if they're all free and up for it, we're going to stay in bed for a whole day, we're going to go see the Tutankahmun exhibition at the Melbourne Museum, we'll get me some poi and practice in the park, go to the Fitzroy Gardens, go to Illy, see the Illusionist at the Nova Cinemas, go to ACMI, and some anime shops. We have lots to do. I believe I'll be working at some stage over the weekend. I'm still praying I didn't get many shifts. I'll have Uni on the Friday. I should have the Monday to Wednesday completely free. It's going to be so amazing having him here. We think the Motel might be pretty basic but it'll be ours. It has a queen bed I think, a little kitchenette and our own bathroom! That was one of my requests. I'm so excited. It'll be great. He's also going to do some time lapses that I'll tag along to. I hope I don't have to work much. That's one of my biggest fears for next week. I'll find out tomorrow morning. Seekae tonight! Then Husky tomorrow night. Lots of homework to be done. I really need to do some now. I'll get onto that.

Always thinking of Glenn

Glenn and I are booked in to stay at the George Powlett Motel from the 1st to the 7th of September. It's going to be so fun having him around all the time instead of him going off to work, however I will be going to work and Uni on Friday and the weekend. We have some plans already. I can't wait to hug him and kiss him and more. I've missed that. Then he'll be away until the end of September and visit me for another 5 days before heading home. I just hope we have a place for him to stay with me at by then.

Uni is hectic. I have to get this Shared Heritage assignment out of the way by Monday if possible. Then I have to jump straight in to the first World Heritage assignment. It's due 2 days after Glenn leaves so hopefully I can get the majority of it done before he arrives, possibly do a little while he's here, then get it finished before the 9th. Then it's onto the next one, then the next one, and so it goes on until just before my birthday. Sigh.

I have one of his shirts with me and it smells like him. It's brilliant. I gave him one of mine when I was last down on the 8th to 10th of August but he said the smell is starting to fade. Sad. I can't wait to smell him for real. He gets into the city by around noon on Thursday. I can't wait! It'll be great having him here.

There is a chance I'll move back home. I don't want to go back to the city as such. I much prefer Melbourne. Although I do like experiencing Hobart with him. I'd do it for us. Time will tell.

I hope I don't get too many Veludo shifts next weekend. I'm hoping for only 2 shifts so I can spend more time with Glenn. He did say he would watch me work to make sure we had enough time together. I should have Monday to Wednesday completely free. It'll be amazing to spend so much time together not interrupted by work.

I should either get back to my assignment or keep watching Bones.

Slightly better

He said he feels like he's on a pedastal but that it's okay but to make sure he doesn't let it go to his head. He also said 'well i'm very glad to remind you whenever you need reminding, you're lovely, v-cute and mucho special!!!' which was very sweet of him to say. I feel better about it but I'm still wary of how things will end. It's been lovely getting to know him thus far, and he's amazing to physically be with, so we will continue as we are I suppose. Time for a Goodle+ Hangout!

Uncertain

I'm very uncertain about where things with Glenn will end up. At the moment I can't see a future because he made me realise I don't know him all that well and that my opinions of him now might be wrong. That's making me think that we'll just get to know each other more and it won't get any more serious than that, which, in turn, is making me think that it'd be a mistake to move back to Hobart. You can't know these things though. I said to him that it's not that I haven't been treated well in the past, just that it could have been better. I said I was looking and hoping for someone like him and that he's better than what I imagined and told him a few things I like about him, being that he's open and we can really talk about things and that he's charming and he makes me feel special and worthwhile and happy. He said 'wow, Anna you are extremely special and worthwhile, even if we weren't together you should already know that... i'm glad that i make you happy... don't put me on too a high pedastal, you might be completely wrong, apart from the charming bit... science fact, :)' Upon reflection this does seem like I'm expecting him to be someone he might not be so now I'm worried. I hate that we have to either decide to be together or not because of the distance, that we can't just cruise along while in the same place. It'll place pressure on us to work and now I'm imagining the possibility that it won't and that it could be a mistake for me to move back as I doubt he'd move here. I'm worried. I guess until I know him more no decisions will be made. I can see myself moving back there and us being together, then one option being that we don't work out, me grieving, then moving to the UK. I think I'd be fine with that but would it be a mistake to move and give up what I have here? I'd regret not seeing our relationship through so now I'm stuck. We don't have to decide anything until the end of the year. With Yorick I felt like we were really connected. Glenn and I are totally our own persons, which is great, but I don't feel like we're a team just yet. I still find it weird that we're together because we did meet briefly and I thought of him in a certain way, or he was in a certain friend box. I'm not good at explaining things. He knows who he is. I know who I am but I'm still shy about things and unsure of my worth. At the moment I'm very apprehensive about our future. The only way to see is keep going as we are until the end of the year, see if we fall in love, or want to make some sacrifices to be with the other. I guess that's our path. I wonder if there is really a side of him that I wouldn't like. He might just be too Leo for my liking, despite being a Taurus. I can sense that is a possibility. Time will tell. We need to spend more time together. Sigh.

I'm back!

I am so bad. I haven't written in months. It's not that I didn't want to. First it was the fact that I didn't have regular internet access. Then I got used to not writing, but now some major developments have arisen that I want to document. I'm just lazy but I want this hiatus to be over.

Working at Velduo is going good as usual. I can't wait until I have a 'real' job though in cultural heritage. That'll be amazing. I have been working occasionally at Watermark as well and that's fine too. More cruisy, which I like. It's comparable to working at Relish, as Veludo is to thebeach. I like that I'm getting cash in hand so I can get Centrelink as well. I'm naughty but everyone does it.

Uni is going well. There have been so so so many assignments to do. My assignment schedule is insane. Seriously I hate it. I'm in the second 'trimester' now, currently in the middle of World Heritage. I have already finished the on-campus classes for Collections and Movable Cultural Heritage and handed in the first assignment for that yesterday. I'm still finishing off assignments for Cultural Landscapes. The last one was due yesterday but I had to get an extension because the case study I chose was too hard. I'm focusing on Sullivan's Cove now and its management issues. Once I find those I will feel like I'm in a better position. At the moment I'm a bit stressed about it because I don't have much to write about. Drat those management issues!! Where are you? My last assignment is due on the day after my birthday, but I'm planning to get that done earlier. I don't want it to ruin my birthday! Then all I'll have is the field placement unit and I'll be set! I'm planning to do that back home. My plans have certainly changed, and all because of the results of one night.

On Thursday the 14th of July, Nicole, Glenn and I hung out. We had ciders at the Young and Jackson's rooftop cider bar near Flinder's Street Station then went to Bimbos for $4 pizzas. It was a lot of fun. Nicole and Glenn had worked together at Wrest Point and I knew him through Yorick, through Apples, through Helen. He had contacted me a few months earlier saying that we should catch up while he was in Melbourne and we did. At Bimbos, Glenn sent me a text message while sitting next to me. He was going to say something, and I bugged it out of him. He said he wasn't sure if he should say it. The text said that he thought we flirted well. We all decided to go and see Harry Potter 7 Part 2 at the movies and he had his arm on the arm rest and I took it. We ended up kissing. They were the best kisses ever. We all caught a cab back to the YHA, then Glenn went back to his hotel. We met up the next day. I tried to get out of working at Watermark but I couldn't, but we met up between my shift there and the one at Veludo. I met him at the Flinder's steps. We caught the free tram to Spencer Street then caught the 96 to St Kilda and sat on the beach. He was carrying all his luggage with him. We talked and laughed. On the free tram he couldn't believe it when I said I was 24. On the 96 we were facing each other on different sides of the tram and had our legs connecting. Once we were walking on the beach, I got him to stop and we kissed. Then we sat down on the beach and talked. We walked up to Veludo and stood outside and kissed and hugged, and he held his arms up a few times to make us stop touching, probably because it was getting a bit heated. He he he. Then I went to work. We met up a week later when I went back to Tassie for Etta's first birthday [July 24th]. We met outside the Maritime after I had finished talking to Rona about an assignment. He had shaved his mountain man beard. We walked around Battery Point and talked and talked. Then we sat on a bench near the back of TMAG near the courtyard before he went off and I had dinner at Cool Thai and $10 cosmopolitans with Emma, Sarah, and Holly. After that, Sarah and I went back to hers. Glenn picked me up from there. We went back to his place and hung out in his room. I had a look at his DVD collection and pointed out all the ones I liked. He groaned because we have a lot of things in common. I got lost on the way back to his bedroom from the bathroom. I stood still. He found me and didn't laugh as such but said I'll be alright in a cute I like you way. We undressed each other, although he went to the bathroom and came back in only his red shorts/pants/undies. The sex was amazing, seriously the best ever. It was so nice sleeping next to him. We did it again in the morning, had an amazing shower together, and went out for breakfast down the road. We hung out at his place for the rest of the day until I went home for dinner. On Saturday we hung out again and I stayed over. I can't remember what we did. On Sunday morning we had a spa together. It was awesome. Then I went home quickly before heading over to James and George's for Etta's birthday party. Super cute. Then I hung out with Sophie at thebeach, then Monika, then home for tea before heading back up to see Glenn. That morning I had gotten a bit sad. I also got sad before I left. Backtracking a bit, we had been texting all week and kinda built up the sex, or unwrapping me, because I was his late birthday present and him my early present. He he. Amazing. So we hung out for an hour and a bit before he went to cricket and I headed to James and George's so James could take me out to the airport. Glenn said to me to tell him if things get too hard to tell him, to promise. I did. I was sad to go. After that we texted and talked on the phone and I planned another trip down in two weeks, just to see him. I felt helpless before that trip was booked. I just came back from this second trip three days ago. I went down on Monday morning. Sarah picked me up and I hung at her place until Glenn got me at 4. We went to his place then picked up James and headed to his place to see Etta and G and have pizza! Sarah joined us. Glenn likes my family. They liked him too. Then we went to his house. We were going to see a movie but I was super tired so we hung out in his room instead. It was awesome. More great sex. We put onSource Code to watch but we saw none of it. None of the entire thing... He he he. On Tuesday he went to work. I studied in his bed. Then I met mum for some Spotlight shopping, then met Glenn after that. We went to the Post Office briefly then walked to my car near Sarah's in West Hobart then went to his place. We watched some anime then had a date at Mee Wah. So fancy! He has an alergy to seafood but he didn't get sick. Then we saw Hanna at the State. It was awesome. We were going to get Cold Rock but it was closed by the time the movie got out. Sad. Then we went back to his place and I stroked his back with soft fingers for ages. He said it was the best night ever and that he had never felt so relaxed before. It was bliss. On Wednesday morning we got up at 930. He was meant to go back to the Post Office and get his passport photos done, then see the passport people, but had to change plans. We had a shower together, he shaved then got back in. We went to the Post Office and were talking about heavy stuff and I got a bit upset. I had promised myself that if I came on that trip I wouldn't cry, because otherwise I wouldn't have seen him for a whole month instead of having a two week break in between. He wanted me to look at him when I started getting emotional but I didn't want to. I had to go outside and have a breather and get myself under control. He said he has the same feelings as me but I'm more open about it. I cry too easily. It's true. Then we walked down to Salamanca, I took a photo of the Tasmanian Mission to Seafarers, who knew right!?, then we went to the Vietnamese Kitchen for 'breakfast' and had more deeper conversations. Then we went to Margate for an hour for lunch, a play with Etta, then he took me to the airport. He dropped me off and he left reasonably quickly. I thought he was going to come in but it turned out that I didn't have to wait long. I missed him already and still do. The flight went by with my nodding off and doing that head jerk thing. Slightly embarrassing! I got back to Melbourne and he sent me a text, and he said he was glad I was safe. We've talked on the phone most days since, not that many but still. We're going to do a Google+ Hangout tomorrow. He's coming over at the start of September before he heads to Europe until the end of September. Then he'll be back with me. We'll hang for around 5 days either side of his trip. We'd better have a house by then! Then I'm going back home from the 24th of October to the 3rd of November to be with him and to celebrate turning 25. Woah. Hopefully I can do another 10 days in November. I want to go back to Hobart to be with him. He's concerned because he doesn't want me to give anything up to be with him. I'm not 100% sure about it but I want to be with him full-time and I think we have potential. He likes the idea but yes, he trusts me, but is concerned. Sweet. I have my own concerns but I'll only do it if I'm sure. I'll have Etta and my family there, a job in cultural heritage, I'll get my own place, go to the gym, experience more of Hobart by Glenn's side, know how far we can go, and if it doesn't turn out how I hope, then I can go off and travel the world as originally planned. I want to do that anyway while I'm back there, if I move back. Time will tell. We're not deciding anything yet. I just want to be with him. We talked for quite a while this afternoon. For the whole tram ride back from St Kilda and even more while I walked to the YHA and I even sat outside for a bit. He clarified that he sending me that text in Bimbos was his green light. I wasn't sure if grabbing his hand wasn't what he wanted, because he's a bit sarcastic and when we were talking in the Vietnamese Kitchen he made it sound like it was my fault, but that was just Glenn being Glenn. We're in a relationship now, he said. I don't regret it. He said when I was back and we were walking that he only regrets us because of how it could end, not because we would fall out of love or one of us cheated on the other, but because we wouldn't be able to see each other enough. How sad. It's a funny situation but I wouldn't take it back. Never. Ever. His sister Laura likes me already and has been in contact with me on Facebook. She's never done this with any of his ex's. I like that. I'll meet them all in October when I'm down. He he. I really like this one. I think he's great. He's mature. He's 28. He used to be in the circus. He's still performing a bit but he busted his shoulder so that ruined things a bit. He has great hair. He's taller than me but still short. He's beautiful. He things I'm beautiful. He makes me laugh. We're cruisy when we're together and we both love that. No stress. We both hate that we have had to have all these intense talks because of the distance but he doesn't mind. He's charming, but he said he's argumentative. He's a Taurus. He smells great. He likes my bum. I think it's too big. I just love being with him. I miss him and I want to be in the same place as he is. Sigh. I think we could go pretty far. He was shocked when I told him Y and I had been together for 4 years. His longest relationship was 2.5 years. I've been with more people than he has and earlier. I've done drugs. He hasn't. I'm so naughty compared to him. He is a bit funny about the age gap. I'm not. He doesn't care too much about if we do or don't have sex. That suits me fine. It used to be a chore but not now. I miss his hugs and kisses. Oh that boy. We're part-time. I don't like that but it's better than nothing. I'm surprised I slotted back into my life here so easily. I cried a little that night, only because I was exhausted, but fine after that. I just wish I were there experiencing life alongside him. I still have him, just not physically. I can't wait until we get time together again. If Nicole, Amy and her partner Gav/Gavin, aren't in a house before the start of September, we'll stay in a room together somewhere, maybe at the YHA, or somewhere else, but it'd be so nice to have him in my own room, to celebrate getting one. We're so compatible. I love it. We are alike in many ways. Or have the same interests. He said he'd been looking for someone who likes anime as much as he did for most of his life. That's me. We're dating. We're in a relationship. He is friends with all his ex's. I like that idea. I'm not with mine. I like him a lot. So much.

So that's enough for now.

Nicole, Amy and Gavin and I are all looking for a 3 bedroom house together. Hopefully we have somewhere before September, as was the aim, but perhaps not. By September for sure. They're fairly desperate. I've been here for 5.5 months. Things haven't gone as planned but that's okay. I've learned a lot and I am grateful I'm here.

Now it's time for a quick chat to my parents to find out what they think of Glenn and then homework! Sigh.

New job!

I have a new job! It's at Veludo in St Kilda and apparently it is, or was, a sister restaurant to Amy's work, The World Bar, on the South Bank! How funny. I popped in there after my trial tonight to share the good news with her. So I went around St Kilda last night with some resumes and after 5 places I found Veludo. I went in and had a chat to Kylie, an awesome lass, and she got me to talk to the manager and she asked me what I was lookingn for and I said waitressing or that I'd even do dishwashing, but she said because of my experience waitressing would be good. Someone had just left so it was prefect timing and it seems like such a thebeach. So the manager was thinking about when she could get me in for a trial and we said for tonight at 5pm. So I went in and was shown around by Kylie and it was awesome. It seems cruisy but I know it'll get really busy. I really want to master this place like I did thebeach. It'll be a good challenge. I already have 4 shifts lined up -- Wednesday 9am-9pm, Friday 7pm-close, Saturday 9am-9pm and Sunday 11am-3pm. I think I'll talk to the manager soon about permanent shifts but this is a good start! I should be getting quite a few hours. I'll just have to keep up with my studies. It'll help me get into better practice regarding time management. I really suck at that. Ha ha. So things are looking up!

House stuff stull isn't happening. Nicole, Sammy and I will stick together but we're going to get rid of Chelsea. She kinda stuffed us up with a cute house we got accepted to. We all had to get our parents to sign a form saying they would pay for us if we couldn't, so Nicole and I did, Sammy was prepared to if Chelsea could get hers signed. Her parents are spit up. Her mum isn't financially secure and her dad had to fork out a heap of money for her step-brother so it didn't look good. She also said it was too much money and that she didn't realise it would be that much, even though we told her when we all applied. She's just left it all to us basically and doesn't get it. She also doesn't have a job and won't be here past March next year so it's all a bit stuffed up. It's crap because we all wanted this place but can't get our shit together. It looks like we've lost it. Tomorrow will tell. It's shit because the owner wanted to give us a go but we have just proved them wrong. Drat it. Hopefully Nicole can get a job soon and the 3 of us can get an awesome place together. We have lots of TV series to watch together! It seems like the 3 of us are all on the same level, the same page, and Chelsea just doesn't fit. It's not all her fault. Sigh. Things are looking up. It's a challenge but I'm glad to be here.

First Skype chat

I just had a wonderfully lovely Skype chat with my parents! It was so great. I can't wait until I'm there in July!!

Misplaced USB

All I can say is that I had better not lost my USB key. It's not in my purse and I'm pissed off. It might possibly be back at Anne's but it also might be over at E: Fifty 5. I don't know. All I do know is that it's shit if I've lost it. Some Uni stuff was on there as well as other bits and pieces. Arrrg!

The cutest Kensington house

I hate not writing in a while. It means I forget what's been happening. I'm in the State Library at the moment. It's warm. It's freezing outside. The last few days I've been wearing my military jacket as well as my Deakin zip-up hoody and at least a tee underneath and I still freeze. It's not very nice.

Today, Nicole, Chelsea and I went and saw the cutest little house in Kensington, just one station away from my new work! I really, really want it. It just felt so great. I hope we get it. Kensington is such a nice area.

Just about to head to Bimbos to meet Carly and have $4 pizza and some drinks afterwards. I am excited about that! Best be off. Drat. I wanted to write more. I'll have to do it another time.

Things are getting better

Things are looking up! I had the job trial today at Spinifex where Jess works as a chef and I'll be getting a call on Wednesday with shifts and more details so that's exciting! Zack, the owner I guess, who was on coffee's all day asked me if I wanted to come back. Apparently it's not usually that busy. It was just because we had a huge booking and everyone else came in at the same time. I'm used to that kind of busy from thebeach so it wasn't so bad it's just because it was a new job for me and I'm not used to it and don't know how to do everything that it was a bit hard. It was fine though. It's cash in hand and I got $60 for today, which I am completely surprised about, but I don't think the general pay-rate is that high, but it's a start and it'll help me along with Centrelink. So I've had a good day. I got up and got my stuff into the storage room at the Greenhouse and had some free toast and vegemite with Teresa, my other new German friend, then caught the tram to Kensington Station just opposite Spinifex. If I had been 10 minutes later I wouldn't have made the trial. Eek. Oh, apparently there may only be 2 waitresses on usually but today it was great having 3. It would have been interesting for them if I wasn't there. I'm looking forward to mastering it.

My daily horoscope
Someone may be telling you that you are expecting too much from a romance, friendship, or a work situation. You may even be critiquing yourself, and believing that if only you could be less strict in your requirements that you would be much happier. But most people settle, Scorpio. And therefore, most people believe that other people should settle. After all, misery loves company. You actually have the right idea. Stick to your guns. Remain loyal to your core needs and desires, and you will do fine -- even if it take you longer to find what you're looking for.

This could have something to do with the JD letter and the kind of answer's I'm looking for in regards to his response. I want to know what he's thinking about the whole thing. I'm not expecting much but at least to be friends would be nice and the possibility of seeing each other again for a similar occurance, even though it might not be that good for me because of my ability to attach. Eek. It could also be to do with work. I don't know. It's a good one though.

I really want a bowl of veggies for dinner. I might go up to Thai Culinary and see what they have and if not I'll just get the fried rice with vegies. Nicole tried that with beef and it looked good. Huge too.

I was thinking in the Greenhouse lift today that I think I'm over Yorick but not quite over JD. JD was awesome to cuddle in bed but Yorick was all boney and small. That's a nice thing to smile about. I love rethinking the whole night with JD. I loved the way we first kissed and I am starting to remember small things from that night. I don't remember much though. I was pretty drunk. I remember us talking on the stairs but not feeling any vibes. Drunkness might account for that though. I remember saying I wished I could dance like Liam Finn on the video clip for Second Chance. They asked me to do it but I froze, not in a shy way, but in the way that I was trying to process actually doing it and I couldn't. I said I'd have to look at the video. Weird. I loved that he talked to me first when I got to the party. He talked me through all the rules. When we were first kissing we told each other how we had wanted to be with each other throughout the night. He said it was from when I first walked in. I knew it too. I want that again. I needed to write the letter. I hope he writes back. Little things on Facebook like liking each others statuses or writing little comments isn't enough. It isn't a conversation. It would have been awesome to see each other again. I want to know when he's coming over again!!

Ahh dear. Talked to mum and dad tonight, and Sarah. Going over for Etta's birthday might be tricky as I'm sure I have a class on the Monday. Her birthday is on the Sunday so I might have to get a 10pm flight that evening. I could come over on the Wednesday evening or the Thursday. Something to think about.

Regarding archaeology. I can apply to do it at LaTrobe University [Graduate Certificate in Humanities and Social Sciences] or Melbourne University [Graduate or Postgraduate Diploma in Arts]. Eep! Melbourne Uni is so much closer!! I'll see what happens. I'll apply to both. Yay! I can't wait to do that. It'll be so awesome.

Must go and get some food then go back to the Space Hotel where I'm staying with Nicole for at least tonight. I do need to do a bit of Uni work but I feel like I'll be handing it in late. Eek. I'll have a full-on study day tomorrow but it's due tomorrow. It won't be done by then! I was planning on having today to finish it off but the whole moving thing plus the trial took much longer than expected. Hmm. Maybe I'll be handing it in on Wednesday! Yikes. I'd better get a move on then.

Letter to JD

Hi hottie,

I was sad that I didn't get to see you before you left. It would have been nice to hang out again and get to know each other more and to say goodbye but its hard when you're visiting people and there isn't much time.

I still hope we can get to know each other. I'd really like that. I have more questions! I've wanted to talk to you on Facebook chat but I never knew what to say so I thought this was better.

It makes me smile thinking of the fun we had. It was totally unexpected but that made it even better. You made me want more :P (which is annoying because I can't).

Hoping you're well,

xx

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I didn't want it to sound too girly or say I do or don't want more because it's kinda impossible anyway and I don't know what he's thinking. I wonder what he's going to say. In a way it's good that it's simple but in another way it's still such a girly thing to write just because of the fact it's a letter. I do wish we could have hung out one more time though before he left but maybe it wasn't meant to be. I might have made it a little different on my computer but I thought I copied it all to my phone's notepad so it should have been right but "I still hope we can get to know each other" was a bit of a repeat so whoops! I hope he reads past that. Oh gosh. He'll probably take ages to reply but it'll just be nice to know what he's thinking. Soon please!

Horoscope matching

Scorpio + Sagittarius
One common factor between Scorpio and Sagittarius is that both of you are goal oriented overachievers. While Sagittarius is always read to try out new things and see new places, Scorpio only wishes to concentrate on home and love life. At the same time, Sagittarius compliments your conservative and quiet side by being outgoing and surprisingly bold. At first, this trait might not sit well with you, but you should keep in mind that Sagittarius may get you out of your comfort zone and teach you to let go and have fun. Your relationship with Sagittarius is also set to get some tongues wagging due to the unexplainable chemistry between you two. As usual, your controlling and possessive nature can lead to the end of an otherwise beautiful relationship. Your inability to trust your partner because of their outgoing and friendly nature may end up making Sagittarius insecure. If you ever break up, you are very likely to remain good friends.

Friends sounds good.

What an emotional 24 hours!

Wow. What a horrible few days. I was upset yesterday because JD was gone and I couldn't quite understand why I was feeling so down and sad and like I couldn't do anything to fix it. I called Holly and we had a good chat about it. She told me to take a deep breath and I was feeling better, until the evening. So I was meant to be doing homework all day, not that I did. I went for a walk in the Queen Victoria Gardens and sat down and tried to rest my eyes. From all the crying I had done that morning they were so hard to keep open. I listened to some music then went to meet Jess at 430pm at the Southern Cross Station DFO. We had a chat about it and she said she had heard some things about JD from Kate and Beth but hadn't actually met him. Holly said he must be nice because he has been texting me and said sorry that we didn't meet up. Back to that point later. So Jess and I went and met up with the Perth girls for a drink. They were with some of the other boys from the party, including Mark, but no JD. It was okay. I felt a little funny but I wasn't asked about anything. Then I went to go to the Washington concert and after about half an hour I had another breakdown, a worse one. I couldn't stop crying and had to get out of there and I called Holly again. I was struggling because I didn't want to be alone and didn't know what to do about anything. She said for me to call Jess and go to her place and it was exactly what I needed. Here is my enlightened Twitter post:

I think what's happening is that I'm feeling what I do after a break up. What I went through after Yorick was that I need to be around people all the time to help me not feel alone. I need that now. I think that's why being at the back packers is so hard, plus it's not a home. Being at Jess's has been just what I needed but I"m afraid to leave. If I had my own room in a house here it'd be better. Comforting. That's what I need but what can I do until then? I can't be alone.

It's a bit desperate and I'm actually feeling better now. We watched Inception and I have started to apply some of the mind tricks to my situation. I'm locking all thoughts of JD into a big black square safe with a big lock. I do think about him but I have been trying to rationalise it. He's not Yorick. The pain was 10 times worse there. He's a silly Perth boy. He's a slut. He's not my ideal guy. It was just some fun. I liked the physicality of it more and the feeling of being with someone in a boyfriend girlfriend way. It's not about him, but at the same time it is. I just really hate that I've come undone again. It's all piling up on me -- the lack of money, the lack of a job and the lack of a house. It's going to work out. Holly and Ruben are coming over in 1.5-2 weeks for just as long as we'll be able to hang out and she said I'd have a place by that stage. I sure hope so. It was so great being at Jess's. I can't wait to have our own place. I want my own room and somewhere nearby, even the backyard if there is one, to relax in and heal. Nature is my Church after all. I like that I have discovered that. This afternoon/evening Nicole and I are going to go down to St Kilda and go to the beach and get some food. I love beaches. They have always helped me deal with issues. I can always go back home for a few days next week if I really need. Then again I wouldn't know what to do with all my stuff. Kirsten's? I just have to keep on top of this. I can conquer this and I shall. I just have to belittle the JD experience. So when I was at the Washington concert, not that I saw anything, I got a text from JD saying "Hey I'm sorry I didn't get to see you before I left, I feel really bad :(" and that started me crying again. I had to get out. I wrote back "That's ok. It would have been nice to see you... I had lots of fun with you." I haven't heard anything since and I probably won't for a while. So yes, Holly said he must be nice because he wrote that to me. He is nice, and he's cute and funny and weird but also a bit of a slut. Hmm. As my horoscope said, I just have to move on. Here are some good ones:

Monday 25th -- the morning of the party.
Someone finds you mesmerizing, Scorpio. You have that affect on a lot of people, but this individual really knows how to work it. He or she is a master of flattery and seduction, and could make you feel like a million bucks. Don't succumb to this type of adulation today. Just because someone is enamored with you and has a passionate way of showing it doesn't mean you should jump into anything. You are a sucker for sweet talk, because you happen to be quite a sweet talker yourself -- but this may not be the right situation for you. Think it over.

I wish I knew what this really meant at the time. I'm not sure when I first looked at it though and even that day I didn't realise what it meant. Only way after the fact. It's definitely a lesson learned. I won't be doing that again, ever.

Friday 19th -- today.
All the worrying in the world won't change a thing, Scorpio. Usually you are someone who can move past a problem with ease, and not keep looking over your shoulder. But you may now been caught up in worrying about the future affects of something that has already been completed. Did you make the right choice? What do others think of how you handled yourself? Will there be a fallout from what you said or did? All the worry is pointless, no matter that happens next. But in fact it is especially meaningless because you did everything right. Move on. Sop worrying.

These are a little contradictory but the message to move on sounds like just what I need to do. And that's why I'm trying to do. It was just hard to metaphorically fall over like this again when my whole life is unsettled. It's not a good combination.

This one is nice in itself.

Tuesday 26th -- Wednesday.
When an apple tree blooms, each delicate blossom eventually becomes a delicious Macintosh or Gala or Granny Smith apple, and so on. It's almost miraculous to watch the progress of a tree in flower as its branches become heavy with fruit. You are now in the blooming stage with a special endeavour,m Scorpio. Don't worry so much about when you will get to the fruit-bearing stage. Just enjoy the fragrance and atmosphere of the moment, and know that you are on your way to getting what you are working for.

I think this could be referring to my assignments, as that's the only possible explanation from the time. I did finish an assignment on Thursday night while hoping for a text from JD to say to come and meet him. I really want to know what he's thinking about everything, and if he felt bad for me or for him that we didn't get a chance to meet up again. I think bad for me. He probably doesn't care all that much. I shouldn't even be thinking about this but I think it's better to get rid of it all into here and have a clear mind, like for the second assignment I need to finish! That's why I'm here out at Uni. I do wish that we had had a chance to meet again. I really liked it when he kissed me goodbye so tenderly and hotly and convinced me that we'd meet again. It's probably for the best though. Sigh.

I guess I had better do some homework now. I think I'll be feeling strange for a few days at least, especially since I'll be alone in the back packers. Nicole is looking into me moving into her back packers so that'll be nice. Each bed has its own power point(s) and shelves next to your head so I won't even have to leave my bed to watch movies or do some homework. It'll be nice just to have her there, even though what I really need is to be staying at a house. I'm not sure that's possible though. I seriously cannot wait for this back packing stage to end. I'm way past over it. It's the whole alone thing and the no comforts of home thing too. Damn this. Tomorrow I need to go to Jess's work and apply for a job there. I think Nicole and I and maybe Chelsea will be looking at another house. Amy and I are tentatively meeting at 2pm as I'm not quite sure what's happening. I might also come back out here to do more Uni, unless I go to the State Library. I just need to keep busy. It sucks though as I have maybe $300 left and half of that will go to a room for a week. I will get paid again by Centrelink on Monday so that's a relief. I just wish we didn't have to be paying this rent. Hopefully we both get jobs soon. Mum and dad are going to help me out financially so that's nice to know but I still feel really poor. Damn it! What a high and low week. Mostly low. Was it worth it? I'm not sure. It's not just JD though but that doesn't help.

I should really do some homework. I just needed to vent. This is going to be a struggle but I shall conquer this.

Study girl

Ah Uni. I've been here for a few hours at least and am about to leave and return to Kirsten's. I might need a chocolate bar first. I'm feeling pretty drained. I've been doing research on my assignments and for the AIM721 Cultural Policy Report I am thinking I'll change from the NGV to the British Museum. I've already found more than I ever did with the NGV. It was all much easier too. I just hope I have the right things. I'll have to ask Dana and Vicky about their findings. I will also take a trip out to Rippon Lea House and Gardens soon to analyse it for the first assignment for AIM723. So I'm feeling more prepared for that. Oh drat. I'm meant to return a book for that assignment and I haven't even read it. Oopsies. I might have to see if I can renew it. The others aren't due for a while. Tomorrow is my job trial at The Mess Hall. I need to go shopping afterwards for presents for the housemates. Then Sunday is moving day! Eep. I'm so excited to be settled and feel more at home than I do at Kirsten's as it's not and never will be my home. Not that the back packers will but it's closer to having my own space. I bought a ticket to see Karnivool at the Corner Hotel on the 9th of June! I'm so exited. Nicole Tweeted about it earlier today and I bought it on my way here to Uni. I'm so excited. Now all I need to do is get the Seekae ticket and I'll be set. I might even go and see The Cat Empire! I'm so excited. This is what I've been missing being here in Melbourne. It's what everyone's doing and I want to do it too. So I shall. Nicole will be my gig Yoda. I'm sure of it. Right. Better go back 'home'. Dinner? Oh it's Friday. Everywhere will be busy. I might actually get some thai although I do have some spaghetti back 'home'. Hmm. Oh, I talked to Centrelink this morning and apparently I had been being paid the wrong amount. I'll be getting more. Maybe I can go and buy a new laptop soon! I had better wait until I get settled in a home though. Yes, I"ll wait. I'm glad I"ll be getting more money though.

Presents, jobs, and Jantz

Mothers Day.
Send mum the Marie Antoinette DVD and a card. Possibly another movie.

Dads' birthday.
Buy him some of the balsa wood bird broaches from Harem Fashion on Brunswick Street.

Mums' birthday.
I'm sure I'll find some lovely things on Brunswick Street.

James' birthday.
I saw this cute magnifine necklace in an op shop on Brunswick Street so I might get that for my brother. Something random for someone random :D He's turning 26 this year. I can't believe it! It seems oldish but then again he has a wife and daughter and that makes his seem young, which he is. I'm only 24 so for me to be 26 seems much older, which it is. Hmm.

I need to start using my to-do list pad that I bought. I really need to write Andi a letter, get my Working With Children certificate sorted [all I need to do is go and get the photo taken but I keep forgetting or putting it off], and get some of these presents sorted, James' especially as his birthday is on the 22nd and I'll need to send it in advanced. I need to get his new house address so I can send it there. Maybe I'll ask mum and dad so it can be a surprise.

Last night I saw Sucker Punch at the movies and it was fantastic! I want to get more out of life because of it and do everything I want to do in life, all the classed [dance, self-defence/combat/weapon fighting, photography, archaeology!!], the travelling, family, kids, living in the UK and NZ. So much to do.

On another note, I wrote this in a Twitter post not too long ago --

Had another YHF dream last night. I don't hate him, it's just I'd rather not think of him. We were together for 4+ years so I suppose it's expected. I did love him after all. It's not easy to remove a part of yourself and I'm not sure why you would want to. It was important but it didn't work out. He's still a nice guy underneath it all. I think we can be friends again. In a way we still are. Maybe I should text him. Maybe not. It's weird. Now I'm a bit sad. Life so different. I thought I was set. I'm glad I get to do what I really want to in life despite it all and there's plenty of that. More time needs to pass and I need to sort out my life before we revisit our friendship. One day it would be nice to really be friends but I'm not sure it's possible. I'm not good at that sort of thing. I'll always feel uneasy around him. It's just a fact. I've never had a male friend as I was always too shy and it has left me undeveloped in that area. When I'm in a relationship it's completely different and I'm at ease. Maybe we can be like that one day. Fingers crossed.

It's nice being so far away from him and not being able to access his Facebook account through my sister's. I asked her to delete him from hers as I did that a while ago, but I liked being able to see what he was up to. I don't actually like what he's up to, the partying, the sexual content of his posts, the tranny party photos. It's stupid and he should just grow up. He's being such an idiot and I think everyone agrees with me. Whatever. That's why I love using Twitter now for my status updates at least. Barely anyone reads them so it's more like blogging and I can saw what I want when I want and no one will know. Some people read it but it's nice that it's less read and only people who want to read it will. I like that he's not in my life anymore. I like that I'm here in Melbourne. It's better this way.

I'm booked in for the Greenhouse backpackers for Sunday for at least a week. Tomorrow I must call Centrelink and let them know where I'll be moving to and what amount of 'rent' I'll be paying so I can get the rent assistance. I almost forgot so I'll have to set a reminder on my phone. I'm so exited to get my independence back. It's going to be lovely, but also not lovely in a different way. I am too comfortable here at Kirsten's and I've been here too long. Must go shopping on Saturday afternoon for their presents.

That reminds me! I have a job trial at The Mess Hall on Saturday at 10am! I'm psyched. I hope it goes great and I get a job out of it. It'd be a lifesaver. Then I can buy myself a new laptop!! Officeworks have some great priced ones. I just need to look up RAM and CPU stuff so I know what I'm looking for as sometimes they are too small or something. It's like MG and GB. I am useless with those terms. I have no idea how much they mean. Ahh. Although I'm getting better with those I must say.

After working at the Mission today doing more cataloging, us girls went for a drink at Bertha Browns next to the YHA. We shared a bottle of Jantz and I'm still a little tipsy! It's lovely. I like the bubbly happiness. For me it's the best drunk/tipsy there is. I'm such a fan. I hate sickly/spinning drinks like vodka. I like happiness thanks! Daquiri! Yum. So now I'm back at Kirsten's and I might watch another movie. I watched Igor last night. I bought it from JBHifi along with two others. I might watch another tonight. I'm not in a very study mode, although tomorrow I have to go out to Uni and study and return one of the books I borrowed! Must get the Children's check photo taken at a post office. Must also write Andi the letter! Must get James his present too. I hope I remember all of this. I'll refer to this post if I need to.

Meh

Not feeling the greatest anymore. I was feeling fine this morning but now I'm in a funk. Internet helps though. I just wish I had more Bones to keep me company tonight. I have to do more homework though so I should focus on that. I changed the paint for my canvas shoe project. I'm thrilled to be able to finally finish them. Drat that paint. I got an apple danish from Babka then tried to do a resume drop and found a few bookstores but it's something to do whilst doing other things I think. Now I'm not in the best mood.

It's definitely time I move out of Kirsten's room. It's time but I hope I can find something suitable soon. I might even have to do a room share but that will have to do. I'll tolerate it. There are a few on Gumtree I'm finding. Maybe I can go see somewhere tomorrow if it works out that way. So annoying.

I didn't explain why I'm looking at short-term accommodation did I? Nicole asked me to move in with her and her Canadian friend. She arrives on the 20th and that's only 2 weeks away but it might take a while to find somewhere so I'm looking at at least a month more. That's why I need the short-term accommodation. I'd just go to a backpackers but they're not that cheap and I don't want a cheap one. I want my own space if it can be done. Ahh.

Tonight I'm going to have Indomei Mei Gorreng noodles for dinner and watch a movie. Urgh.

A house with Nicole

So, I got a Twitter message from Nicole last night, Sarah's ex flatmate, asking me to move in with her when she arrives on the 20th of April! It won't be that soon so I'm looking into short-term accommodation so I can give Kirsten back her room. I've been there for a month and now I am slowly understanding that it's okay not to be settled yet because the right place for me is still in my future. I believe that it'll be what I'm looking for with Nicole and her Canadian friend. The friend wants to love on the East, which suits me very well, and I know I can trust Nicole and will feel like it's my home too. I can't wait! Now I just have to find some short-term accommodation. I asked G about her family here as she said to me if I get stuck I can ask her so I did. She's going to look into it for me. Yahoo! That might turn up something nice and cheap too but still with wonderful people. I'm so excited.

Today I went out to Uni and I'm proud of myself as I navigated the library and got a load of books for my assignments. I spent a few hours on the internet gathering resources so I'm psyched to start putting it all together over the weekend. I am worried about the deadline for both of the creeping up on me. I'll be alright. For a while now I have wanted to go and study in a park, but I think it might be a little tricky at this stage as I need my laptop. One day I'll do it. I really need to work on my other blog about all the little wonderful things. Maybe soon. Probably not. Better go meet Jess now for shopping! Vintage bikes is the goal. I also need fabric paint for the awesome white canvas shoes I started working on to turn them into Oxfords thanks to Miss James. I'll have to put a picture up on my new blog. Great way to kick it off! Go me.

Writing style

I write like
Cory Doctorow

I Write Like by Mémoires, journal software. Analyze your writing!

Update

I'm at a strange little internet cafe above Swanston Street at the moment. I'm here because I'm meant to be getting resources for my assignments and yet I've started by going on Facebook and on here doing all the fun stuff first! I did get one document for my assignment so I'm not doing all bad/

On Monday evening I went and saw a room in Brunswick. It's near Anstey train station so that's great and the area seems nice enough. The house is pretty cute and the people living there are pretty awesome. I'm actually waiting to hear back from them to see if I've gotten the room. It was like a job interview. There were some other girls around having a look so that was a bit funny but Hugh and Jess[?] were really nice. There is a guy living in the shed out back and he seems nice enough too. I have already been picturing myself in there. They are a family of friends -- just what I've been searching for. I'm worried I won't get it but I guess that will mean it wasn't the right fit. I know I could be happy there. They have friends over for drinks some times. It just sounds really nice. They all know each other too so their friendship group is getting a bit too close so they needed someone from the outside. Hehe. I wonder if I'll get a yes today. On Monday night I had two dreams about them saying yes to me. It was nice.

After the viewing I went and saw a Danish movie In A Better World with Kirsten and her friend Kristen. It was pretty intense but I liked it. Then we went and had a healthy burger from Grill'd. So delicious. I also had a chat to mum and I'll give her a call tonight to say whether or not I got the room. I will do a bit of a check now just in case it doesn't work out.

Uni has been good this week. On Monday we went to the Abbortsford Convent. I had to catch a cab there [$15] as the train was an express and it would have taken me further than I wanted to go. Ahh well. It was a nice day out. We have to do a bit of a group exercise so I also need to work on that as well as my next two assignments. I'll be busy. I'm actually excited about getting stuck into working. I've been slack, not even reading the readings. Oops. As long as the assignments get done it's fine, but the readings do help with the assignments. I've got it covered.

Savers was a fail. I doubt I'll go there again.

I was thinking last night how I felt like chocolate. Then I thought about Easter and how this will be my first Easter away from Margate even for a catch up in the afternoon. I'll miss getting the eggs. It reminds me of Christmas but not as big so it's not so bad that I miss it. I just like the family getting together even if just to be around a chocolate egg bowl. Sigh.

I've been watching a lot of Bones lately. I bought the first and second seasons after watching some with Jess at her house in Sedden. She's addicted too! I'm onto the second season and I know I'll need more soon. I also need a job soon. I'm at $1200 or less and it's getting a little worrying. I'll go around on Friday with my resume maybe. Tonight I hope to get some assignment work done. I have to leave here before 6 though to use my tram ticket. I didn't have enough coins for a daily and anyway, I don't want to spend $20 for 2 hours on the internet here even though I must have in Sydney. Ahh dear.

I should get back to the task at hand -- assignment work!

Hug a Gum tree

After a day of not feeling like doing anything, and I didn't, I had a nice evening with The Germans [Kirsten's pet name for the German couple living with her and Sandi] and their friends, also from Germany, who are down for a few days from Brisbane. They leave early tomorrow morning. We went to Bimbos and had the always amazing $4 pizzas. I had a Rekorderlig berry cider and it was nice to be a little tipsy listening to the Germans speaking German. Sometimes they spoke English. We were in the fairly private room upstairs and a small group joined us. A brother and sister, and their friend who is family to them. We all had a bit of a chat and the brother kept looking at me and smiling in a way to suggest he was into me. It got me all scared and heart racing and blushing. After an hour maybe we left and it was nice to get outside into the cool night. He was cute enough but I'm not after a fling. He didn't seem like my ideal guy. I'm too shy anyway.

I had another look not too long ago on Gumtree for rooms in Richmond and found a lovely one with two sweet sounding girls. I emailed them so once again I am praying they write back to me and we can arrange a meeting time and day. I really want to have a room by next week. I have a viewing on Monday night in Brunswick that could be very suitable but I am really hoping to get a room in Richmond. I don't want to have to say to the Brunswick one that I'm waiting to hear back from another places, if I get appointments set up for any of the Richmond rooms I have emailed about. I want to be able to say "yes I'll take it" straight away and be done looking. I don't want to jerk them around either and then say yes after two days or something if I am able to see some Richmond ones in two days space for example. I'm just hoping I'll either love it or know it's not right for me. The people are the key really.

Tomorrow I might go to Savers. I think I'm going to the Derby with Jess in Geelong but I can do a morning trip. I really didn't feel like doing anything today even though I did want to have a little adventure. I will even find a park somewhere to have a sit down in. That's so peaceful and I love being connected to Nature. I really like the idea that Nature is God. Not a person as such but worshiping the land and Earth instead of a person. That sounds better to me. When we went to the Botanical Gardens for Uni and we hugged a tree, I really felt a connection to the Earth. It was beautiful. I want to hug more Gum trees. For now, however, I should get off the internet and go to sleep!

Richmond!!!

I feel like a bit of an idiot! I was just doing some searching on Gumtree for rooms and found I was looking in the wrong area for Richmond/Hawthorn! So I changed the settings and I have contacted two people about rooms. I really hope I hear back soon.

Tonight was lovely. After a day at the Mission helping Monica put things onto the new shelves we got for our new archive room we went out for drinks with Andrea, maybe the CEO of the Mission or something important like that, and Kate Spinks who I met up with the day after I first arrived here and set me up with Monica and the Mission. I felt like a grown up. I've never really gone out for those kind of drinks with a few girlfriends and now I have! Andi and I did a few times but it's not quite the same. Just different. We went to the bar around the corner from the World Trade Centre where we go to the coffee shop a lot and it's also where Kate works at the Police Museum. Very central to all of us. Then Monica dropped me home. Yay!

I dropped off my first assignment this afternoon. I took the train out to Burwood, which took about 33 minutes, 5 minutes to walk to the tram stop to get to Uni, then 10 minutes on the tram, so it doesn't actually save me much time in the end. It was a much nicer trip out though. I do like trains. If it stopped closer to the Uni it would be perfect but alas it doesn't quite work that well. If I get a room in Richmond I won't need to bother switching from train to tram. I'll already be saving time by living closer. I really hope I get one of the ones I contacted tonight. They seem really great. Although the second one asked for a professional [worker] and I'm not so I might not get a look in. Andrea said she's going to talk to some people at the Mission to see if I can have one of the rooms in the Mans they call it, which is where the live-in Chaplain used to live, but it has now been furnished and students are moving in. It's out of my price range but Andrea might get me a good deal at least for a bit while I'm looking for somewhere else. Then again that might be a waste of time and effort to lug all of my extra things around with me. I'll just have to get a place in Richmond, which is what I wanted all along!!

Tomorrow I might go to Lygon St and to Savers and do some grocery shopping. I also need to get some more homework done, preferably relating to the second and third assignments for the first unit so I can get those underway before starting anything related to the second unit. That's the only thing I hate about the way the course is structured. Never mind. It'll all work out just fine. It's a bit stressful but I'm not actually doing much work. Haha. Doing something might fix that.

Family chats and no room

I just had a lovely chat to my family. Once again they were all at Margate having dinner sadly without me. I'd love to be there right now just for the evening. Once again I wish I could disaparate there and back [Harry Potter] but alas I cannot.

Today I was at the Mission moving all the boxes from the Archive room upstairs to what I believe will be our new room. It's much bigger and we're getting filing cabinets tomorrow so I'll head there between 10 an 11 to help out. After that I'll head to Uni and hand in my first assignment! I can't wait for that. One down, plenty more to go.

I went and saw a room this afternoon, very spur of the moment, but it had been taken just before I got there. It wasn't what I was looking for anyway but the woman drove me back to Kirsten's which was nice. The place had 9 rooms. Enough said. It was like one of those Girl Guide camps, very dormitory. Not my scene. Anyway, tomorrow after I get back from Uni I'll head to Lygon Street and check out the noticeboard I've heard about for room ads. Hopefully there will be a winner for me amongst them. Time will tell.

I'm consumed by house and money issues at the moment so I'm a bit boring. I can't wait to get settled and start unpacking and decorating. I hope I get something by next week. I really hope the one on Monday night is the one. Who knows. I'll apply for a few more places and see what happens. I do also need to go on a job hunt. Arrg.

I have just had a look at more houses. I might see if I can get appointments set up. I need my own room!!

Internetting in bed

So here I am, lying in Kirsten's bed while she's at Tom's, and I'm surfing the internet. Internetting doesn't get much better than this. It's so comfy! I'm glad to be relaxing as I went on a rather long and kinda pointless walk today. I went to check out a house in Coburg but I knew it wasn't going to be worth the effort and it was a much longer journey than I had anticipated. I bought the movie Nine from a convenience store on the way but that wasn't even worth it. Ahh well. I got to see more of Melbourne and I had a glimpse at Savers! One day I'll go back there.

Tomorrow I'll be at the Mission. I'm glad I'll be doing something useful. I am also glad I can use it for the basis of one of my assignments. I really need to get myself sorted Uni wise. I need to get all my research done for the second and third assignments for the first unit. Otherwise I'll stress myself out too much, which I am beginning to do. On Tuesday after class I might stay later and do some research on the Uni computers. It's all so fast there and I won't have to pay. That's the way to do it.

Once again, everything is on hold until I find a room. I hope the one in the Docklands writes back. It's in Siddeley St., which is really close to the Mission. The apartments, I presume, have access to a pool and a gym and stuff like that. Please contact me! It's so close to the city and it'd be awesome. It's just what I want!

Anyway, enough of that. I am consumed by finding a place, by finding a job, and everything else is on hold as I don't want to spend too much money. It's bugging me. I'll find a room by next week. The Monday one sounds good. We'll see.

I had better get some sleep.

Give me the perfect house and setting

You have been working diligently toward something that has not panned out. You've double-checked your facts, consulted your experts, and spent the necessary time getting things in order. Yet you may be driving yourself crazy trying to figure out just what you're doing wrong. The answer, Scorpio, is that you aren't doing anything wrong. Sometimes delays occur for a reason. Your current endeavor will eventually succeed -- when the timing is right. Just keep on as you have been and remain confident of your efforts, and you will achieve success.

This completely to do with houses. At least that's what I believe. I'm having no luck at the moment. All I can do is set appointments and hope for the best. It sucks though.

Monika

Monika and I hung out yesterday and on Monday night. She was over for the Grand Prix with her dad and brother but they came earlier and left earlier. We met at her back packer's and I took her to Riverland for a pint of Bulmers and some chips. Then we went for a walk around the river and back. I had a brief chat to sissy poo on the phone. Then we caught the tram to Brunswick St and were going to meet Kirsten for dinner but she just missed us as we went into the venue she suggested. She had lost her bike chain without realising before she left her house so Monika and I ended up going to Bimbos for $4 pizzas. I've had so many of them in the last few weeks. Always the zucchini. Then we went for a wander along the street and had a look in a love bookstore. Then we parted ways for the night. Yesterday morning before all my Uni field trips, I met Monika at 830 and we went for a bit of breakfast, well danishes. Then we went to Magnation and I got a great 10 minute workout magazine from Health and Fitness. We also went to the Traveler and Souvenir shop I bought my school bag from and Monika was getting a cabin bag and uggs when I left for Uni. It was so nice having her here.

My mind is all over the place

So, Marie took the room. I have set up appointments to view houses and saw two on Sunday but they weren't any good. I'm looking for a great room, a great location, AND a great set of house mates. It has to be the trifecter. I got that word off Bones. It isn't recognised on here as a word though. Ahh well. Saturday was another Roller Derby match and this time it was awesome! So much faster and entertaining. Usually I'm not good with meeting someone's friends but Jess' were nice and we had some good chats. I usually feel like I should have stayed home because I'm not so good around people socially. Sigh. That's just me. Monday we started the new unit Heritage Interpretation and I am loving it! The people have changed in the class but some of them are the same. At least Dana and Vicky are still with me. We went on a field trip on Tuesday to the Botanical Gardens for an official Aboriginal welcome, to ACCA for a tour of the exhibition and to the Shrine of Remembrance. It was so beautiful there and I loved the Gardens. I will be back soon. Today I need to finish my first assignment. I have most of it done but I might change a few things, plus it's 100 words to much but that might be alright. My mind is all over the place. I hate not having constant access to the internet at home where I can update regularly. Oh, Sunday was a wonderful day. I was smiling down the street. I met George's cousin Cate at 1030 at Babka in Brunswick St and we had a bit of a snack and a drink. She is so lovely. We went for a wander around the street and went into some shops and in one of them I bought 3 amazing skirts! I am so stoked. Two tartan and one like a very long netball skirt with the pleats. We went to some other shops and I found some cute birds like the ones dad started making out of balsa wood so I might get him some of those for his birthday for some inspiration. Then on my way back over to Nicholson St where I catch the tram to Kirsten's I stumbled upon the Rose St Market! It was so lovely. I bought some cards with cute prints on them. Yesterday wasn't so great. I filled a dam with my tears. I just wanted to go home to a place where I have succeeded. I still don't have a house here and it's bothering me. I have an appointment for tonight, one for Monday, and hopefully another in the works. I just want a room to settle into. I want to feel like I can send my belongings instead of feeling like it isn't my place too. Sigh. It'll all work out in time. I need to go on a job hunt. I will do that soon. Today I'll have a look at my resume and make a few according to which job I'm after. Bookshop jobs would be the best. I'll try and write cover letters too. I also have to study more. Eek! I'm glad there's no pressure to read the unit readers but they have valuable information in them so it's worth it if we do. I'll do what I can.

Interesting developments

So, things are changing all the time. Yesterday Marie and I went and saw this awesome house but there were so many other people there and it made us depressed. Since then, I've been down and frustrated about the whole house issue. Nothing is coming of our work. To make things more interesting and complicated, Marie has been offered a room by a friend. She's going to look into it more but she might take that and I might find something else on my own. I'll at least look into it. I just like that we're friends, that I am comfortable around her and that I have someone to fall back on. Finding a new room might be tricky because I have high standards when it comes to room mates and the house so I'm getting a bit worried and anxious. So many feelings.

I need to look for jobs. I also need to look for rooms in already established houses but it's going to be hard. Things with Marie aren't exactly happening, just because we haven't found a third person who is 100% committed to us and that because there is just too much competition out there. It might be easier to find a room elsewhere but then again finding the right one will be hard. Kirsten found a few rooms for me on her Uni site so I'll have to ask her to check that out for me again. Ahh this is annoying. I would rather go into a new house with a friend but it might not work out that way. Hmm.

Yesterday I had the volunteering at the Mission. It was so good to be back. I did more scanning and we did a search for a pretty important artefact with no luck. Apparently it was borrowed then returned but it's not around. Hmm. It's a bit suss.

Monika is coming up from Hobart on Sunday to Tuesday! We're going to hang out on Monday night and have dinner and maybe see a movie or something. Very exciting! I can't wait to have a friend here, another one that is. I've seen Amy twice this week so that's been lovely. We went to Bimbo's and I went again this afternoon for lunch. I can't wait to get back 'home' and have something to eat. I'm starving!! Better have a quick look at houses then get out of here.

Thank you, Melbourne

This time is all mine. I'm creating a life for myself through my career path and independence. I'm seeing where life takes me and I'm going where I want to go. I'm not penned in my someone else so I have the room to make my life whatever I want it to be. I want to travel with my work, hopefully as an archaeologist. To get that dream would be just amazing an inconceivable at this point in time but I believe it can happen. I am loving this time in my life. I own it. I'm living for myself, not basing my decisions around someone else. I need this lifestyle and I am so blessed to have it. Thank you, Melbourne. I never thought I would say that but I mean it. You are a wonderful stage in my life. Xx

So much to say

Looking back over my last entry, I must say that the Roller Derby was fun! I did get McDonalds, naughty me, but being a bit sick made that food help. The Derby wasn't the fastest game, as Jess told me, but it was interesting watching it all the same.

I have finished lectures for my first unit but have 3 assignments to hand in over the next few months. I love that there are no exams. It's a brilliant way to organise the diploma. Today I will try and finish the first one and hand it in early as it's due on a Friday and why would I want to go out there for 10 minutes when it takes an hour each way to get there? I'll hand it in on the Tuesday like Dana will. She's a smartie that one. Next week we start the next unit. I'm sure I'll like it but it's just that there is so much to read as well as do the assignments. I'll never get it all done. I guess that's okay because there will be time after the last 3 week unit is done to finish those readings...

Last night I went and met Amy and we had dumplings and some spring rolls for dinner. Then we went and got some 5 Seeds cider and went back to her place and hung out. I love hanging out with her. She inspires me and makes me laugh and like myself. Once I get a place I am definitely going to start working on my health and fitness. She has an amazing room. She has a double bunk-bed and instead of sleeping on the top she has the mattress underneath on the ground and has made it like a cubby, with lights and fabric draped all around. I might do that when I get a room, but I might not. I was telling her how I am not very improvisational and that I have to see things to get inspired. I'm no good at thinking amazing things up. So in a way, the cubby would be awesome to have but a nice bed might be nice also. I'll think about it. It might be hard to put fairy lights up otherwise.

On Monday night I went over to Marie's and we applied for 3 places online. Now it's a bit redundant as what we'll do is print the applications out and take them filled out and prepared to the real estate agent there as one of the receptionists Marie talked to frowned upon filling out forms before having seen the property. So that is what we'll do. We're going to meet up at 330 today and fill out more forms, haha, then go see the first of 3 houses scheduled for the week. We have one today, one tomorrow and one Friday. Busy! I hope they are all fantastic so we can get them all then decide. I'm not sure if Elizabeth will be our third.

After that, I met Kirsten and Tom and we saw the last Girl with a dragon tattoo movie, oh, The Girl Who Played With Fire, that's what it's called! I keep forgetting. I wished I could have seen it with mum as per our tradition but never mind. I liked seeing how it ended. I had had a big dinner at Marie's so I was very full at the movie, even though I got popcorn and an ice cream. Hmm.

What else is new? Not a lot. I tried a wig on at Amy's. She shaved her hair for the Leukemia fundraiser I think it was so she and her bf Cal went and got her a wig. It's long and pink! Hehe. I hate my hair right now so I think I'll get a normal one and try that sometimes. I also need a bike. Shopping!

I need to apply for some jobs. I had best do that now.

Elizabeth and drinks on the Rooftop

I had a great night last night. I met up with Elizabeth and she is a beautiful, crazy ball of energy. She's so confident and I love that. We had drinks at the Rooftop bar on Swanston St. and it was amazing up there. We chatted to a family of Americans last night [Fred the dad, and two of his kids Alexis and Michael]. They bought us lots of drinks. Sangria! I'd never had it before and had avoided it because of the red wine factor but it was actually nice! Cold red wine is the best way to have it in my opinion. So we stayed there for ages, talked about Australian vs New Zealand vs USA vs UK stereotypes and ways of saying things. Then one of the girls Elizabeth is staying with came by and then we went to a party in Prahran then to their place not far from there. Elizabeth and I went to a few places along the way before bed. This morning we went and had breakfast a few blocks away then she went to check out some houses. She's really desperate for a place as she's a flight attendant and isn't here much so it's stressing her out after having been looking for the last month. I understand but I'm not that that stage yet. I would love a place because I'm starting to feel I shouldn't be at Kirsten's for too much longer. Arr it's so hard. So I was feeling sick all Thursday and Friday but now I'm feeling better, just a little hung over. I missed the Mission volunteering on Thursday but on Friday me and Monica and Beth went to the Victorian Collections training session for the cataloging system they use and it was lots of fun. Now I'm heading into town to meet Jess and tonight we're going to watch a Roller Derby game! Super exciting. It'll be my first real one. Eep! I might get some McDonalds on the way. Naughty but it's one of those days. Soon I have to get running shoes and start training! Got to get fit and lose my excess weight and fat. Arr it's annoying me. Right, better go actually.

Hanging with Marie

So, I am sick and it sucks. I was getting sick last night and today it was, and still is, worse. My throat makes it hard to swallow and my head is a bit funny. All in all it's not great but I'm not bed ridden. I will hop into bed soon though and watch the rest of Bridge Jones: The Edge of Reason then have an early night. Tomorrow I'll be at the Melbourne Museum for the cataloging day course so that will be fun. Then I'll meet Elizabeth and hopefully Marie will pop by to see us and see if we're a match.

I went and saw a house this afternoon not far from Kirsten's and it was really sweet. We'll apply for that but I'm not sure what our chances are. It was really sweet. Then Marie and I met up and saw the second house. She was running late to meet me at the first one. The second one was nice, more expensive but it had smaller rooms. We decided to look at other ones. We can get a better deal. After that we caught the train back into town and had some dinner at Mark's Place. I had a half and half pizza and Marie had tortellini. It was really nice. We had some good chats and laughs. I'm glad to be organising this with Marie. We're going to share some food as well as have our own stashes. Kirsten thinks I should still look for more rooms but I'd be very happy living with Marie.

Anyway, I should get off here as I'm not sure where Kirsten's laptop chord is and I need to get to bed. I wanted to make my moves on Scrabble with my cousin Paul but it won't let it load. Drat. Good night then!

Housemate success!

Just a quite little update but I met my new house-mate-to-be, Marie. Marii nor Maree just in case you were wondering. She gets called Maree all the time. Ahh dear. Anyway, we're going to get a place in North Melbourne soon and will hopefully have a third person to join us. It's going to be great! She's really nice and does photograph at RMIT. I'm sure we'll get along great. She's nice and cruisy. I'm really looking forward to being able to unpack and start decorating my own room. The houses in North Melbourne look really sweet too. Perfect! More on this later. Off to the first meeting of the Deakin Enviro Club. Met up with Zain this morning too and got some nice shoes in town. Right. must get a tram now. I'll be late. Eek.

Thinking of home but knowing I'm right where I belong

Today I have been thinking about home a lot. I miss it, as I've said before, but when it comes down to it, I do love being here and doing this for myself after being freed from my 4+ year relationship, and I wouldn't rather being back home. I am here for a purpose, and I will get home from time to time but I belong here. I'm not sure how long I can stay away from home, as in over 1 year, but I'll need to get work, hopefully in the museum/heritage industry, and I believe that will mean staying here or going elsewhere, just not back to Hobart. I need to spread my wings and that's exactly what I'm doing. I just wish I had a partner to help me and be by my side while I do this. It would make everything more fun and easier. Oh how I wish I will find my perfect match here in Melbourne. The chances are greater at any rate.

So basically, I miss home a little but I'm not feeling extremely upset because I know I'm meant to be here and I've been waiting for this for 8 months. It's finally here and it feels right. It's just weird thinking about Hobart far, far away, as a place I know so well but am not in. I'm not explaining this very well but it both feels right and weird to be here and not home. I wouldn't go back to stay in Hobart, not for a few years anyway, but a visit will be nice. I might head back between May and June for dad and mums birthdays. Got to get settled here, get a job, then work for a while before taking off for how many ever days to a week. It wouldn't leave a good impression to my new boss[es]. I will have to look into bookstores. I don't want to work in hospitality but have the skills so it would be super easy to get a job. Depends where I'm living too. Work close to home is best. Time will tell. I want people to write back to me about these places! Better check my email.

I had a long chat to Sarah this evening. It was nice just talking to her although I wished I could have been in her new room with her. Another time. I'm staying here for a few months at least before I make a trip. Sad. Today is Megan and Joe's wedding day! They are now officially Mr. and Mrs. Pasanen. How lovely. I'm sad I didn't get to see it but photos will be fine.

Another good week ahead I believe! Monday is full Uni lectures, then Tuesday is full museum visits. I sure am looking forward to it all. Hopefully we'll discuss the assignments. As long as I get them sorted, the readings can come second. I just need more information from the lecturer, that's all. Right. More study and some TV I think, maybe Easy A again for a bit of a laugh.

Oh, not tomorrow but next Monday, Kirsten and I are going to see the last Girl With a Dragon Tattoo movie! I'm so excited. Mum, dad and I saw the first one together after some dinner at La Porchetta, then mum and I went and saw the second one. I'm sad I won't be doing this with mum but we'll do something similar another time, perhaps when she and dad visit. That will be nice. I can't wait to have my own room!!! EEEEE!

Errands and 31*

Oh my gosh it has just hit 31 degrees and I have errands to run. Luckily, last night and today the fan has been on in Kirsten's room and it is just wonderful. I'm afraid to go outside but I need to get --

+ Cleaning supplies for the house. That's my job as a current household member, temporary or not.
+ New stockings and those knee-length shorts to wear while exercising.
+ Running shoes.
+ Cereal, marge, and replacement Mars Bars for Kirsten as I stupidly had hers as a snack.
+ More highlighters from Office Works and while I'm there, an ecobutton.

I don't particularly want to leave the house but I do need to. I'll be too busy with Uni tomorrow and will just want to go straight home afterward. Also, I have stopped studying because running out of highlighter ink is putting a mental block on my abilities. Arr.

I might leave it another hour and slowly get ready. If I overexert myself I'll lose my energy, especially in this kind of head. I can't stand the heat.

A lot of not much plus Hotmail!!

I'm looking through my old Hotmail account and some of the emails are funny and sweet, like from my friend Grace who isn't really my friend anymore. We don't hang out, that's what I mean, but you can't always stay in contact with everyone I suppose. Friends come and go like all people do. I was having a look in it originally to keep the account open, because I use it for my Facebook account as that's the one I started with and can't change it. I found some from my sister but I'm not sure where we both were at the time. It's as if one of us wasn't living at home, or like I was on a holiday but the year is wrong, so I went back to the start and it's kinda interesting. I haven't read many but want to figure out the ones with my sister. I might have moved out at that stage so it might be then. I guess that makes sense.

I feel like I'll be studying for the whole year non-stop. I am having a break now and my head feels better for it but there is so much to do. One thick book/reader each week would be enough but there are assignments on top of that and there isn't much of a break between the units. I hope it goes okay.

Had a look at some houses online last night with Kirsten. She found me some possibilities and I have contacted some and am just waiting now. Will set up an appointment for another Hawthorn one on Tuesday afternoon for maybe Wednesday but from the phone call I'm not sure if the person is what I'm looking for. She had an accent, possibly Indian, and I'm not racist but I just want someone like me, that's all. I'll find the right one eventually. She might be perfect! I won't know until I try.

I talked to mum this morning and it was nice to catch up with her and hear the gossip, the happenings. Megan and Joe are getting married tomorrow. I'm sad that I won't get to see it. I wasn't formally invited, maybe because they knew I was going away, but I'm sad I'll miss it anyway. I'll see some pictures.

I wrote an email to my aunts, the ones that were just out from the UK. I miss having them around. I can't wait to go and visit for years and see them more often. That will be nice.

Can't think of anything else to write. Hmm.

Dreaming

The last two nights I've had dreams about Yorick. It's nothing to do with getting back together or anything like that, but it's more about who I think he is now and his attitude creeping into my dreams. I don't like who I think he is now, who I hear he is from people like Holly and Sophie who see him and tell me the gossip. I don't like that he's in my dreams. I remember that after Jeremy, for a while I was interested in what he was up to but over time that faded to the point where I almost forgot he existed. I can't wait for that to happen with Yorick. I don't want to think about him and spy on him through my sister's Facebook account. I'm just glad we haven't had contact since 1.1.11 so I can't make a fool out of myself in front of him. I can't help but spy on him and love the gossip but hopefully that will pass.

Hope, courage, and bravery.

So, what's new? No house news but I am secretly waiting for Sarah's ex housemate Nicole to get a job here and say she'll live with me. Until then I might wait. I had a bit of an almost breakdown on Wednesday going out to Uni and back for the text book. I had had a little look at some photos I've seen of James, George and Etta and it made me almost cry seeing them. On the tram I was sad. Damn hormones. My Pills ran out and I missed one and the hormones swept in. I've been feeling emotional since then. Drat. I can't remember my train of thought as I started this rant but I know it had a purpose. I wanted to say something else. I hate forgetting that kind of thing.

I have been getting into studying as of yesterday and am quite enjoying it. I have taken a little break now as dad got me thinking about external hard drives and he'll buy one for me there and put all the TV episodes from the Margate computer onto it then send it over. Mum will be getting some money from the Uni books I put up to be sold so they'll take the money out of that. I need to get a new laptop. Monica at the Mission got her mini laptop for $300 at Dick Smith but I might get a mid-sized one. Not too big, not too small. I can't choose between the two sizes. Small is great for lectures, train rides, and holidays, but bigger is better for writing assignments, watching TV shows and altering photographs etc.. You can always get a monitor for the smaller one but I may as well go for the medium sized type. I'm a bit worried about money at the moment so I'll wait until I'm settled in a house and have a job. I want one for under $500 if that's possible, which is should be.

The Mission was good yesterday. I did a lot of scanning until Monica's laptop had a nap as she forgot the power chord. Oops. Then we went on the computer there, had some lunch near the Police Museum, and went home by 3ish. I went to Centrelink after that and got all my business sorted. My address has been changed to here, at Kirsten's, and I have my temporary Health Care Card which gives me comfort on public transport when the ticket inspectors come and ask you for your tickets. Apparently you have to have the Health Care Card to qualify for a concession ticket. I was astonished when Kirsten told me. There are signs on the trams that I didn't see. Ha ha ha. Now I know and now I am safe. They've been on the trams twice, once the looked at the date, which I strategically only showed them, and the second time they didn't bother. Strange but a relief. I do like traveling on trams.

I do miss home a bit but I haven't cried about it. I miss the ease of the life there, knowing where everything is, and having family to be around all the time, but here I love the new adventure, Uni, being in Kirsten's house, and how everything is new and exciting. I love the lifestyle and yet I miss my old one. I almost cried on Wednesday because I was going to look at a bedsit in Richmond, which was already taken despite still being on the internet, and realise that I didn't want to live alone in this city because I would be so isolated. I wouldn't see my friends enough to get me by and would too often be alone. I came to the decision that I must live with someone. I'm not as brave as some people to live alone, even though in many ways I would prefer it, but at this stage I'm a coward. And that's okay. I am building up my bravery. One step at a time. I couldn't imagine living by myself for a year and not having family around to make it okay. In Tasmania it would be more than fine as the whole place is a comfort to me but here it would be too different and hard to deal with. I just hope it all works out with Nicole and that she would want to live with me. Eek. Otherwise I'm sure I'll be able to find someone like me and Nicole to live with. I won't limit myself to Richmond or Hawthorn, even though I'd love to live in either of those suburbs, because it's not too hard to get out to Uni from Kirsten's and it might make finding a place easier. I'll just have to wait and see.

Change doesn't always come easy, Scorpio -- even when it's a good change. You may be enduring some tempestuous circumstances now. There is a sense of upheaval, of confusion. But this is all clearing the way for a change in your life that will be a relief once is arrives and you recognize the difference in yourself and in those around you. Put a smile on your face, and know that whatever happens today and over the next few days will be for the greater good. Evolution is in progress.