Goodbye and good riddance 2010

Daily Horoscope --

Although you can certainly handle having a lot of alone time, Scorpio, and you are known to be quite independent, you are also quite the social animal. But even if you don't have any exciting parties to attend or any other plans for New Year's Eve, you can still enjoy the evening. You should take a moment tonight to at least recognize and acknowledge everything you've accomplished this year. You probably feel a sense of anticipation for what lies ahead in the coming year, and a symbolic toast to your future is definitely in order -- even if you're in bed before the fireworks go off at midnight.

I am rather excited for the two events I'm going to this evening. I'm starting off at Grace 2's house for a gathering then heading off to Emma's for a party. I have some alcohol but am struggling with what to wear. I got a dress from Melbourne a few years ago but it's too short for me to feel comfortable in it so I might drop by Big W and see if they have a black petticoat/slip. Wearing it with my regular black work skirt [which I always wear even if I'm not at work] looks a bit funny but better than not wearing it. I have to organise a back-up outfit now too. Drat this.

When I read this horoscope this morning I tried to think about what I've accomplished this year. I'm struggling even now. I guess I know what career I want to be in. I've spent time doing the things I want to do and am about to embark on a great adventure to Sydney. I know what kind of relationship I want to be in and what to avoid. I feel more like myself too. It's been a strange year and I am so glad 2011 is finally here. I believe it will be fantastic. Here's to 2011.

Colouring photograph tutorials

I did some photo colouring tutorials tonight that I saved years ago back when I was making 100x100 icons on Live Journal. I'm just not sure which is the best ...

This is the original. This photo was taken by myself in New Zealand in 2007.

This is the first colour tutorial I did and it's a lot darker, a lot more blue than the original but it might be too much.

And this is the second colour tutorial I did. It's definitely different than the original, sharper somehow maybe, but not as dramatically changed as the first coloured one. It might be the winner.

The middle photo looks too blue, and buildings aren't usually that colour. I should stick with the last one. I wanted some suggestions but since no-one reads my journal and Facebook doesn't do photo polls I figured it out myself. Go me! Now I can keep doing this in preparation for my Blurb book.

Beautiful New Zealand

Isn't New Zealand beautiful?

This is the front cover for my Blurb NZ Travel Book.

It's the best picture out of the whole potential book. Sad isn't it.

I wish I took great photographs, or just developed an easy routine to follow

when altering pictures. I must do that. Sydney will help me out.

Source

Blurb Travel Books

I have started creating my New Zealand Travel Book on the Blurb.com website. So far it has been frustrating but slowly, very, very slowly, coming together, which is making me happy. My photos aren't the best so I'm not sure how much to include and whether or not to write the whole diary in is another issue. I like the front cover! That's something. I'm trying to stitch together some panoramas with the program PanaVue ImageAssembler 3 and hopefully I can figure out how to do a double page spread with the panoramas. I know I'll get there eventually. I could spend a lot of time fixing each image, using one of my saved tutorials, but they're fine as they are. I'm not making a top quality book here and I'm sure it'll look fine. I guess it'll mostly be pictures. I just hope it turns out well and I make pictures the correct size and tiny details like that. It's going to take a while but at least I'll be creating something special. And it'll get done a lot quicker than my manual one.

Almost rid of 2010

I am slowly checking things off my big to-do list. Today I sorted out most of my clothes and chucked out the majority of them. I have a huge bag I need to drop off into one of those charity bins at some stage. I also started work again on my Travel Book for Vanuatu. Once I finish the photo placements I can cross one more off that huge list. Then onto the writing. That is going to take forever. I also need to keep organising things to take and to eventually take to Sydney. It's going to be a long task, especially since I don't quite know what I have off the top of my head and what I'll take with me. I'll get there.

Tonight I'm going to go to the supermarket and buy a few things for dinner. I'm going to get mum some milk and myself some of the tasty treats I like. She had a tone in her voice, especially after I said I was off mince when she asked if I wanted spaghetti bolognaise for dinner [they're going out], and basically said to go get my own food. So I shall. I'll get some yogurt and oven fries and some oven fish or nuggets, bread, biscuits, some ice cream or probably lemon sorbet. This is the last time I'll probably shop for myself here for food I like because once I'm in Sydney I'm going to be on a healthy eating regime and stick to it for at least 30 days and hopefully longer once I get hooked on healthier foods [here's hoping]. Sydney is going to be great. I can't wait to move there. I'll be devastated if I don't get into the Uni there but going to Sydney will be great even if I'm not at that particular Uni. I am always praying that I get into the University of Sydney though. Please oh please oh please.

I started watching the O.C. again. I love it! I can't wait until I find my next partner. I do hope he's my life partner but that might not be the case. I wonder what a psychic would say. I do want to go see one but where do you find a good one? I can't wait for the awkwardness before you start getting used to being together, the first few kisses, and getting to know each other. I am so excited that one day I'll get to experience all of that again. I miss the start of relationships. They are the best. It'll be even better with my future husband too. I already know he rocks. One day.

Once I'm finished playing my games I'll go and finish putting all the photos into my Vanuatu Travel Book then go grocery shopping. Then I'll watch more of the O.C. and not much else. I'm a bit boring but at least I'm not spending much money now that Christmas is over. I only did around 10 hours last week, maybe 12 or something, so that sucks. Once 2011 starts I'll head over to Centrelink and try and get the ball rolling before I move to Sydney. Smart move, O'Regan.

Changing my lifestyle

Next year I'm going to get thin. I mean it this time. Next year is the year I finally get fit and toned and smaller. I want to lose 10 kilos and with plenty of help and a new eating regime I can do it. I imagined myself thinner last night and liked it. I can do it and will. I have to do the things I want in this life otherwise they will never come true. If I want something I have to go out and get it. It's not just going to happen for me. It'll be worth the struggle and it's about time I did something instead of being so lazy. I'm going to change my lifestyle!

Oops

I feel really bad. This morning I was watching How to Train You Dragon and after it was done I checked my phone and saw that I had missed three calls from work. I called back as soon as I saw and talked to Panda. She talked to someone in the background and they agreed they didn't need to call me in anymore. I feel bad. I wasn't dressed when they called anyway so it would have taken me an hour to get ready including eating and showering so I might not have been any use to them anyway but still. Oops! Extra money is definitely what I need right now so over the next few days when I'm on call I'll be up and ready just in case.

Boxing Day

I finally started packing some of my stuff up to take with me when I first head over to Sydney. It felt good. Mum and I were talking about Sydney in general in the car on the way home from James and George's house for a Boxing Day gathering and I don't like how semi-negative it is. It's like she is planning it all out for me but I'm optimistic! It'll work out just how it's meant to and I have a good feeling about it all. She keeps on saying how I should stay in a home-stay situation for the first semester or something insane like that, till I get settled at Uni or whatever. I only plan to stay in a home-stay until I find a house to live in then I'm straight out of there. Centrelink will give me money, I'm sure of it, and I have enough to live off for a little while. It's not a huge amount [$1500 at the moment] but it's going to grow a little. I will find a job because it won't be that hard. It feels like my dreams an optimism are being diminished. It's going to be great and I'm going to do it for myself. I just hate all the realistic talk. I am somewhat realistic but I'm also hopeful. I hate that these discussions are always too realistic. It's too much.

I've been watching Scrubs since I finished Gilmore Girls again. I like that Scrubs makes me laugh. I'm now finally onto the last season but am finding it strange because it's set as a medical school and J.D.'s hair is weird. I want to know how it all ends. I hate that they didn't show J.D. and Elliot's wedding or the story of them getting pregnant. Drat that. The kind of did at the end of the eighth season but it was only J.D.'s hope. It's good though.

I'm so tired today. I think it's because I spent most of the morning in bed, despite waking up at 930ish and putting Scrubs on. I didn't get out of bed until 1145 and had briefly closed my eyes, while not sleeping, for a little bit. That must have counted as sleep to my body.

I'm not going to take my DVD player because my computer will act as a DVD player! That way I don't have to get a TV, although my laptop is very old in all uses of the word so it might not be very fun. I am going to take some DVDs though, like some anime, some movies, and some of my TV series. I'm sure I'll buy more over there. I wish I could get a new laptop. The internet won't work on mine. I've packed up some little things like my organisation books/lists and some anime/manga but there is a lot to do.

I'm not sure what I'll do tomorrow. I really do need to work on my Travel Books but as if that'll ever get done. I'm so lazy I keep forgetting about it. I'll probably have a rather boring day. I might go for a walk with KT. I haven't done that in a while and I think it's about time. I do need to organise my Making the Cut 30 day meal plan so I could do that, pack some more, make some earrings. Anything but watching endless episodes! I'll do something productive. I also need to organise my clothes. If I put only what I need in the draws I have then it'll be easier when I need to pack. Tomorrow will be a productive day!

Christmas Day post #2

What a lovely Christmas! Once James and George and Etta arrived, J+G had a quick croissants and scrambled eggs with salmon breakfast, then once we were all in the same room we did presents! I got some lovely ones and have 2 manga's on the way [Mushishi], which I am very excited about. Just as we were on the home stretch opening the presents our extended family started arriving. It was nice. It felt weird because once again we're all older and I truly feel like one of the adults. I am determined though that next year I'll slim down and finally get fit. Next year is the year, no excuses. And Lyn and I were talking about getting ready for things before they even happen, like she does with teaching and her lessons, and I am going to make lists, again, of things that I really need to get into order before it's all upon me. I need to think about what needs to happen once I can book my flights. It'll get sorted. Mum and I and possibly dad are going to watch the Miss Potter movie on the TV tonight. Mum and I are looking forward to it. We've both never seen it. It'll be a nice relaxing night I believe.

Christmas Day

Daily Horoscopes [Scorpio] I found particularly funny and relevant --

Christmas Eve

Cookies and chocolates and peppermint candies, oh my! Egg nog and sparkling cider and hot cocoa, too! This is the time of year to indulge. And you should too, Scorpio. Don't worry too much about your waistline right now. It's always wise to be healthy of course, but sometimes you prevent yourself from truly participating in joyfulness because you worry too much when you should be more carefree. Let go of those worries for a few days, and experience some lighthearted fun. It's time to take a bit of time to really enjoy yourself. You deserve it.

Christmas Day

Be careful about drinking too much wine with your dinner this evening, Scorpio. And watch out for all that fat in those buttery mashed potatoes. And cookies ... well, you can just forget it. If you indulge too much today you will then have to put a health and fitness requirement into your list of New Year's resolutions. But wait a minute ... if you want to improve something about yourself -- whether it's your weight, or your muscle tone, or even less obvious qualities -- you have to make it a long-term commitment. So enjoy the day, and change your lifestyle, not just your list of resolutions.

I do want to make getting fit a long-term commitment and I will do it whilst in Sydney. A change of state and a change of routine is what I need to make it happen.

Had a lovely Christmas breakfast and now James and George and Etta have arrived! Off to celebrate.

Christmas Eve

I am so excited for Christmas tomorrow. I have finally gotten all my presents wrapped and raffle ticketed, except for the present I'm waiting for dad in the mail. That's a bit of a shame but I can't do anything about it. There are so many there. I'm glad we had a $50 limit but it's nice to see so many there. I love the unwrapping process using the ticket system. That way it lasts longer and we can all see what each other got. I love our traditions.

I'll be moving in a month! I can't remember who I was talking to about it the other day but they made me realise how soon I'll be moving! It won't be real and set until I get my acceptance letter/email [fingers are always crossed] and have booked my flights. Then I'll start getting nervous and hugely excited. I can't wait to have a date in mind. I wonder how packing will go. What will I take? I did start making lists. I won't make as much money as I hoped but I'll do alright with what I have. I won't need to spend too much in the beginning, hopefully, and I'll aim to have a job in the works before I even get there. I can do this.

In the new year I'm going to have to get organised with my major essay for Fronting MONA. I already have so many things in mind, like describing the two museums I'll use for my private-public comparison and showing how from the outside these museums differ. I am very excited about seeing it take shape. I'll ask for lots of help from Sara at work. She's brilliant with essays.

I don't know what to wear for Christmas tomorrow. I'm sure Sarah and I will be showing each other our options and changing a million times and I think that will be a fun filler between presents and lunch. I have two dress options I want to try out but one is a little dirty/stained from the staff party. Oops. I should have washed it. It'll get done.

"New" [to me] bands I'm listening to --

+ The Shins

+ The Broken Bells

+ Closure in Moscow

I desperately need my mp3 player back. In fact I need a new one because I doubt I'll find my old one. I remember taking it on a walk then putting it in my pocket because it wasn't working and from there I'm not sure. The car? No idea really. One day once I'm settled in Sydney and have money I can part with for frivolous things I'll buy a new one. It'll suck not having music until then but I have my laptop. It'll have to to.

Off to bed soon. Sarah is coming from work, it's pretty late but I'll hang in the main house until she arrives. Then to bed! Christmas is so exciting. If only Jan and Fra were here to join us as planned. Silly Europe snow!

Yesterdays Wednesday Wishes

I want these boots please --

One stressful day

I am so tired. It's been a long, stressful day at work and I am so glad I'm home. It took a bit of effort but I got my car back from Sarah's so I am independent once more. Super glad about that. Unfortunately James and the Hayley Cooper Band including Hayley herself are practicing over in the shed, aka my room, so I'm over in the big house bumming on the computer. I might finally watch some True Blood 3. I haven't watched it in ages but I may as well now.

Listening to this right now --

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G96e3o4wFIg

I can't wait for Christmas. I love Christmas at home. We always do the croissants with scrambled eggs and smoked salmon and other yummy things, then presents and the usual raffle, then the extended family gathering. I have loved organising presents this year. I just want to get a few more plants for mum and I think I'm set. Otherwise I might get her some earrings from the same place Sarah got her a nice wooden bowl with a lid. I can finally wrap George's present. I'm sad dad's didn't come in the mail today though. Hopefully it'll come tomorrow, otherwise it'll have to be a late Christmas present like mum said mine will be. Never mind.

Sarah and I went shopping in town yesterday and when we were at the bank, Yorick's mum turned up and we had a nice chat. I told her about my plans and she told me about Felix and his driving and licence messes. Nothing about Yorick, which I'm glad about. I said to her to say hi to everyone for me as I saw his aunt Di in the street a few weeks back. Then when I was driving through North Hobart I'm sure I saw him waiting at the lights next to the Republic. He is in serious need of a haircut. It looks terrible. I'm glad I'm not with him anymore but it was a shock to see him. We're not right for each other and that makes it easier to deal with, to know that I don't need to be sad because something a million times better is out there waiting for me. I still find it weird that I used to know him so well but that we don't hang out anymore. We were together for 4 years and now it's gone. I don't really miss it, which makes it obvious that it wasn't right, but it's strange that that kind of thing can happen. Things change so fast.

I locked my keys in my car again today. It was in the Big W car park in Kingston and I saw Jessi and Rachel Elliot while I was there. We both had a chat, separately, but it was nice to have some entertainment while sitting on my bonnet waiting for my RAC man to arrive. Silly me. It reminds me of the first time I did it. Luckily that was at home so I walked 20m to get the spare keys and get inside. If only.

I can't think of anything else to write so good night!

Stream of consciousness?

I hate it when I don't write for a day or so and forget what I've written about. It's not like talking to a partner, Yorick for instance, who I would almost always remember sharing things with. It's different somehow. So Sunday was the staff party! We never got around to doing the staff meeting part of the gathering, which was meant to happen before we started partying, but I don't think anyone minded. I had nice chats to Grace 2 and new Sarah and Josh. I had a few drinks too, at least 5, maybe 6, and I was glad I partied because I am always too responsible. I got home at around 330am and I'm very proud of myself for that. Getting up in the morning for class was a struggle and for the whole day I was really tired but it was worth it. I hung out with Andi after the lecture [also being before the tute] and after the tute. We had chats and went to Mures for a late lunch. We are planning to have a park picnic date possibly on Boxing Day so I can see Ivy. I miss that little girl. I handed in my first assignment. I had to keep printing parts out because I noticed small errors but I hope it's okay. The lecture was pretty dry but it's all still fun and where I want to be. I had my regular Tuesday volunteering at the Maritime today. I listed some donated maps and finished off checking some artefact boxes along side the computer listings. I also helped a little with the new exhibition going up to do with the Sydney to Hobart Yacht Race. Tomorrow I am doing the last of my Christmas shopping. I have work on Thursday and Friday so I won't be making much money from now on in but I also won't need to spend as much so I'll limit my personal purchases to a minimum and just write a list of the things I want to get myself and be content with what I have. That will be hard but it'll have to be done if I want to get sorted for next year in Sydney. I can do it. I've just watched new episodes of One Tree Hill season 8 and The Vampire Diaries season 2 that I got off my sister's portable hard drive so I'm quite tired. I haven't had enough sleep over the last week but I'm getting back to it. It's way better than being bored. I should try and make a start on my essay once Christmas has passed. In sad news, Jan and Fra have been delayed in the UK due to all the snow. Barely any flights are getting out so I think they have rescheduled until the 12th of January till around the 5th of February so I'll get to see them for a bit. It would have been wonderful to have them for Christmas. They were meant to arrive on Thursday and be here for Christmas but alas, no luck. At least they're coming. I was worried when they weren't coming it meant that they weren't coming at all, but it's just that the dates are changed. Sarah said she could tell dad was sad. He hides things so well, I couldn't tell. I love that we're slowly getting closer, talking more. We're both quiet but it's not an awkward thing. I hope I get to see Etta often. I want to get back from Sydney every 2 months or so. I'll have a "flights fund" and if I can put $25 away each week I'll be able to manage it. That's not too hard. I don't want to miss Etta growing up and I definitely don't want her to forget me. I see her about every 2 weeks now, roughly. I'm very tired now so I'm going to play my last Facebook game [Country Story] then get a drink of cordial, go to bed and watch some Gilmore Girls, eat my last doughnut then brush my teeth and sleep. I am so bad with brushing my teeth.

My new white dress

It's the staff Christmas party tonight. I think it should be pretty fun. It won't be a huge night for me as I have Uni tomorrow at 10am and I have been lacking in sleep for the past week. I wonder what my present will be! I hope I like it. I'm wearing one of my new Myer dresses tonight and I feel pretty. Princess-soft-colours pretty. The dress is white and twirling makes it fly up nicely. I'm wearing a peach/pink coloured top, one of those ones that isn't a full-length top, and I feel pretty. Got to do something with my eyes. My eyeliner isn't sharp enough but I can fix that, and when I close my eyes, the top lashes go blonde towards me eyes. It's so weird and quite annoying when trying to put a line at the top of my eye. I might try using mascara. Sarah did my eyes nice when I went to her birthday party in November. I'll try to recreate that look.

Tomorrow I have Uni and my first assignment due for the semester. I need to find out where to get the cover sheets and where on earth to put the assignment once it's all printed out and stuff. I have no idea because I haven't gone to a class in the Art School before. Someone will tell me. In the break I'm meeting Andi. She called me up this afternoon and put on Ivy for a moment. Apparently she's getting better at talking on the phone. I miss that little girl.

The Opossum bay trip was a success. It was sunny, then it spat for a bit, but the sun always came back out. Didn't go for a swim but Sarah and I went for a walk along the beach, then had some lunch, then went back for a walk again but this time to pick up all the rubbish that was left on the beach. Lots of cigarette butts and things like straws and "Up and Go" drink boxes and bottle lids. It was disgusting. People are disgusting. Respect Mother Nature! I got to hold Etta for a bit. I went with James to get her from the place Megan and Joe are renting and held one of her hands as we walked back. Then George gave her to me while she went somewhere and had a lovely hold. She got a bit upset for some unknown reason [from G] but might have needed another nap. She is so cute. I love having her hand wrapped around my finger. It's a beautiful thing.

Bicycle dreams

When I move to Sydney [I am not moving to Melbourne -- hate it] I want to get a bicycle, a retro one from years past, and have just found a site in Sydney that has an eBay link! Something like these --

It would be a great way to get around, to get to and from Uni specifically, and will be a great form of exercise. I'll hate getting sweaty before class but hopefully it won't be too bad. These bikes cost a lot though [approximately $500-$700] so maybe there is a tip shop or something where I could get one for a lot cheaper. It's a nice dream.

Wristbands

For years now I have had permanent attachments on my wrists and yesterday one came off. After a while they tend to wear away, especially since I play with them, and the one on my right wrist fell off in my hand last night at work so I had to chuck it in the bin. It's so strange having nothing there! On my left wrist I have two of those rubber bands you get from companies or organisations, one of which is from Greening Australia [it used to say "I'm Greening Australia" but it's almost worn off], the other is from the Breast Cancer society, and the other is a the Falls Festival ticket wristband I've had on since possibly NYE 2005-06. My friend Jessi started the tradition when she tied a bit of light brown leather around my wrist one time when I was staying over at her house. I love having them there. I need to get something else to replace the one I've lost. It's on my to-do list.

I also want to get another mp3 player, preferably a Sony Walkman like the one I have misplaced. If I find the one I have, I'll see how much it'll cost to get fixed as I'd just get the same one because I know and love the design. I'm not into iPods so I won't even go there, despite trialling the iPod Touch a while ago. One is going to cost around $100 and I don't think I should be spending such money right now, especially since I won't be earning much before I head away. Drat that by they way. I have been given more "on call" shifts, which sucks, but I can't do anything about it. I just have to wait and see.

I love stationary!

I think I have found my non-career job calling -- Kikki-K!

Here is the job description / employee requirements --

As an inspired member of our team you will:
+ Love stationery & have a passion for contemporary design;
+ Be willing to learn & grow with us and enjoy being part of an enthusiastic & fun team;
+ Love working in an environment that gives respect & opportunity to every team member;
+ And have the opportunity to further your career in retail or another area of our business.

Here are some of the amazing things I want to get, some of which I already got on my recent trip to Melbourne. Click any of these items to see more.

1. 365 Days

Your year begins today. 365, a journal to commence at any point in the year for a new job, a new semester, or a new lease on life. This journal is not dated, meaning you can start from page 1 at any point in the year. Makes a great gift for baby showers, engagement parties, weddings and anniversaries.

I already have this in red with white x's around the edge but a black one might be nice if I want to have a second one going. I might use the red one for my first year [and possibly the ones after] in Sydney. It will include all things creative as well as what happens there. In general I want to be less lazy so this will be a great way to start new habits. I keep thinking what I want to use it for. One idea is to document my photography. I want to get back into it. Last night at work I was watching how lovely the sun looked on the hills across the river and I want to take great panoramas and generally great landscape photographs.

2. Paper Clips: Coat Hangers

I am just looking on the Kikki-K website and have already found so many wonderfully cute items I want to get and these are a must. They come in a cute glass jar and everything!

3. Magnets: Cross

These are really cute too. It'll be nice to have simple but cute magnets for the fridge one day. They

4. Cube Notepad

You can never go wrong with something like this. I am always needing to write things down and often find funny scraps of paper, which do make it easier to find if I'm looking for it, but this will give me an endless supply.

5. Study Notes

I do need to get more organised with my study and for next year this will be perfect. I want to do really well and if something as small as this can help then I'll do it.

6. Sorted! The ultimate guide to organising your life – once and for all.

Just as I thought I had finished looking at the amazing products on this website I found some more! This books is for sale at around $20 on this website, however, I went through the Book Depository and for it for $10.98

The following 3 books are available in-store for around $20 but via the Book Depository they will be found a lot cheaper. I bought the middle one for myself and one for my work Secret Santa, Jodie. I hope she likes it.

7. Be Happy: 170 ways to transform your day

8. It's Never Too Late: 174 simple acts to change your life

9. Now Is the Time: 170 ways to seize the moment

10. Paper Flow: The ultimate guide to making paperwork easy

Once again, I think this will be very useful for Uni next year. In the description is says --

Find the solutions to organise and de-clutter the paper work in your life with help from Paper Flow. Whether you need to organise your paper work at home, school or work, this book is guaranteed to inspire and instruct "how-to".

Now, onto a different store! I have seen Typo sections in Cotton On before but I had never experienced the whole store until my brief visit to Melbourne this week. I loved it. There I bought a pale blue "MAIL" letter holder which I had seen here in Hobart but in a bright red and black. The blue is better I think. I also got this cute paper stack, like sticky notes but not stick, with space to write your goal, the 7 days of the week with a box next to it to tick or cross, and space to write your reward for completing the task. I'm not sure if I got it from Typo or Kikki-K but it's going to be so valuable next year. All of these things will. I'm so excited to start organising my life!

Back in Tasmania

I am so very glad to be back. This morning wasn't a very fun trip back though. First I had to get up at 6am. Not completely unpleasant but tiring. Then I misplaced my return Sky Bus ticket so once I got to the station I had to buy another. Luckily I got on the Sky Bus that was already there. I didn't want to be late. When I got to the airport I almost had to pay another $80 because my stuff was too heavy and I had an extra bag with my goodies in it. The lady at the desk was really nice though so she said to stuff it all into the one bag and hope that I didn't get my bag weighed or I'd have to pay the money. That was so nice of her. When she mentioned the $80 so many things were racing through my head for 20 full seconds she must have felt bad for me. Then on the plane people kept slightly bumping into me. Melbourne is not for me. I don't like it! Fate was telling me I'm meant to be in Sydney, and I think my horoscope agrees.

Horoscope -- To Be Blogged because I'm far, far away from my phone

I've been chilling most of the day since I got home. Sarah and I did a rush shopping trip to pick up some lay-bys after she got me from the airport at 925am then I got home and had some food immediately as I hadn't eaten all day. Then I did some homework [almost finished my cover letter for the first assignment for Fronting MONA. So proud] and watched Gilmore Girls. I have to work at 630pm, which is a bit annoying, but tomorrow Sarah and I are off to Opossum Bay to visit J and G and E. Then I might have work on Saturday evening and definitely have work Sunday-day, which I'm not too jazzed about, but it means I get work over and done with. We have the staff party that evening so that will be fun. Not a big one for me though as I have Uni the next day. I'm kinda glad work won't be so busy for me, although the money will suck. Hopefully I hear back about more volunteering.

I'm tired. And I feel weird. I'm not liking today and I'm not liking Melbourne. I'll have a late one tonight too so getting enough sleep before tomorrow won't be good. I'll have to get up at 830-9am to make sure I have enough time to shower and eat something. Drat it all. I'm getting tired again. Sarah gave me a V as soon as I got in the car and it worked but now it has worn off, at least I think it has. I never know if it's working or not. I just like how it tastes. I can never tell with it, or Red Bull.

I might go back to bed and watch more Gilmore Girls before it's time to head off to work.

Drunken [tipsy] ponderings

Today has also been a good day. I'm a little tipsy now as I just swung by Amy's work on the South Bank and had a pint of 5 Seeds cider. I met up with Amy at 1 today and we went to lunch next to the Federation Square bridge. She had a lamb bratwurst and I had some chips and we had 3 half pints of Bulmers cider each. We had a great catch up and I loved it. Seeing her work and her at work was amazing! It's all so fast. Much faster than at thebeach. She was just on drinks, making the orders and putting them on the bar with the dockets to be taken out by the waitors/waitresses. It was great. I like their system. It's not as busy at thebeach to implement this system but I admired it.

After Amy and I talked for 2.5 hours, I did some shopping. I bought a skirt from Dangerfield then went to Melbourne Central shopping centre and bought some stationary supplies. I got a stack of cards that you write down a task you want to achieve, then you tick it once it's done and get a reward you specified for it. I also got myself and Jodie [from thebeach work] this book on how to change your life in little steps. It's all about making the best of things, going out for cute outings like to watch the sunset, and enjoying life. I hope she likes it. I also got this book labled 365. It's red and has x's all around the edge of the front cover and it has on each page a different number starting from 1 going through to 365 and you can put anything you want in it. One of the suggestions is to doccument the first year of your baby's life. Another is to use it as a journal for a years task. I want to do something great in it. Maybe something to do with fitness and overall happiness and not being lazy. I haven't quite worked the details out yet but it'll be great.

Earlier this morning I went to the Carlton Gardens and to the museum there. I loved seeing the blue whale skeleton and how they came about acquiring it and putting it on exhibition. It was a great story. I am really not into Melbourne. It would only be great because I'd get to see Amy a lot more and go to lunch like we did today but I don't like the city itself. I would much prefer Sydney and have a fresh start there. It's much cleaner feeling. I want it to be my own thing and it will. It'll happen.

Tonight I have to pack my bag and get ready to make a quiet exit in the morning as to not wake my room mates. I have to be at the airport for around 730am so if I'm at the Sky Bus by 7am just in case then I should be fine. That means getting up at 6am to shower and pack then walk or train it to Southern Cross Station. It's not too far to walk but I don't want to stress about it.

Both Amy and my sister aren't sure about my tattoo idea, the barcode part of it anyway. It is up to me though, as Amy mentioned, but I like it. I like that it's not just my surname. I still have time to think about it and plenty of time to make an appointment. There's no rush.

I'm really tired now. Drinking does that to me. I think I got a little sunburnt on my face, definitely on my scalp, so I'll have an early night. I have 35 minutes left on here so once I play some games I might go get some McDonalds for dinner. I still have one or two mini mud cake cupcakes to finish off and some crisps but I might leave them for the girls to eat. It was silly to buy them. I'm looking forward to going to bed early. I'm not sure I'll get anything for dinner. I don't know if I need it. I might just have a mud cupcake and go to bed. Maybe I could just get a McChicken burger from McDonalds. Something light. Something to ponder for the next 20 minutes.

Such a good day

Today has been a great day. I feel like everything is falling into place and I deserve it! I didn't understand my horoscope this morning but now I do --

Tonight at dusk - when it's not quite daytime and not quite nighttime - you need to make yourself open to messages about your future. This in-between place is symbolic of a situation in your life right now. What you're experiencing may make you feel as through you are in limbo, not knowing where - or how - to go to the next step. But, as nature takes care of the passage of light to darkness and darkness to dawn, you will soon find yourself in exactly the right place. Don't over-think it. Just let the universe guide you.

I had forgotten all about this horoscope until way after the events that unfolded this evening and I think it's sending me a message. I bumped into Kirsten Long and two friends here in Melbourne while I was wandering around aimlessly and she invited me to have dinner with them. They're all doing Uni and are from Tassie and that in itself was funny. I think one is living here, but Katie, I think she's living in Tassie and they are both lovely girls. So. We got talking about Uni and both Katie and I are intending to move to Sydney next year and we might end up living together! She's got another person in mind and we might leave room for a fourth but I think it's all fate, bumping into Kirsten like that! FATE! Mum had called while I was having dinner and called her after we were done and had said our goodbyes and mum's friend Kerin knows someone in Sydney who will be willing to rent me a room for $70 a week. This is all working out perfectly. It feels right and like my dreams will actually come true. Katie is going to email me about house opportunities, hopefully in Newtown which is in the opposite direction to Glebe, and will probably move in at the start of February or around there. It should all work out with Fronting MONA and finishing up at thebeach. I sure hope it does.

After wandering around Melbourne today and hanging with Carly, I realised how much I don't want to live here. I don't like it. It's too grungy and like a labyrinth for my taste so I'm extra hoping I get into the Uni of Sydney. I probably wouldn't be able to afford living in Sydney alone, not anywhere near the city anyway, so this is a good substitute. Living with people I know and like will be good and I'll meet people that way, maybe even my future husband! It'll work out nicely and it won't be forever. I can handle it.

Shopping today with Carly was good. I bought a cute tea canister from T2 and a 'MAIL' letter holder and 2011 desk-top calendar from Typo. There is a small Typo section in Cotton On in Hobart but we went to the actual store and it was fantastic! I really love it in there. I'm going to love living in a big city and it'll be nice having friends there and living with them won't be so bad. It'll be great actually. I am so very excited.

I've had a headache for a while but I went for a bit of a lie down after hanging with Carly and took two Nurofen and felt better after a while. I'm rooming with two Canadian girls and a third person I haven't met and the funny thing is the place we went to for dinner, the Mess Hall, was where one of the Canadian girls works! How weird. I'm going to go straight to bed after my time has finished here in internet land [10pm], have a snack, then possibly read manga for a bit then sleep. Tomorrow I need to get to some of the museums and possibly the Uni even though I'm set on not going here. It might be worth a look. The museums will be good at any rate. I haven't heard from Amy yet but I might hang with Carly again tomorrow. I'd like to go to Bimbos and have cheap pizza and maybe go to Savers. Kirsten mentioned it and how she bought a few cheap dresses. Apparently it's a second hand store, I guess like an op shop but better, as Carly has also mentioned it. Many possibilities. I just need to get a good nights sleep tonight and I'll be okay. I was so tired on the flight over and afterwards, even now. 40 mintues and I'm there.

I bought two mangas today. One was buy an author I have read but can't remember the name of the manga, and one was called Black Butler [I think] which is a different name for an anime series I already have. I think the manga will be great. I have loved getting back into manga over the last day, or less than a day, and want to buy more cheaply from Just Manga. It's such a good site and a while ago I stopped buying things from there when my manga candle burned out but now I'm back and ready to buy again. Not just yet but soon!

I am so looking foward to bed. Hopefully I'll get to sleep fairly quickly. I haven't had enough lately and it's catching up to me. I hope tomorrow will be good too. It's way after my bed time!

Quick update

I'm off to Melbourne so I'm doing a quick update. I finished early at work tonight and I'm really glad because I've had late nights for the past few nights and early starts. Monday I had Fronting MONA then work and today I went to the Maritime then worked for 3 hours. I like being busy but I'd also like to feel refreshed from getting enough sleep. I can sleep on the plane tomorrow also. Unfortunately I don't have music to take with me but I have a museum related book -- An Introduction to Museum Archaeology. That will keep me occupied.

I might be getting more volunteer work through the Maritime. Liz, a lady who I officially met today, asked me if I wanted to do more volunteering and mentioned two projects I forgot the names of immediately as I had no idea what they were. She emailed me what she emailed to the organisers, I think, so they might get back to me tomorrow. I might not be busy at work over the next 2-3 weeks so this will fit in nicely. It'll also fill out my resume relating to museum studies more and I'll get more experience. One of the projects is at the Oatlands Gaol concerning conservation and archaeology. I'm fascinated already!

Mondays lecture was great. I loved learning about more of the museums around Australia and know what my essay will focus on. The word count, formerly 3250, has been dropped down to 2250. I am completely jazzed about that. I suck writing over 2500 words. It drags on and I get bad marks. This suits me very well.

I can't think of what else to update about. I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed by the lack of sleep and the early morning and this busy week but it's better than being bored. Got to get up at 7am tomorrow, have a shower and something to eat, then go out to the airport with dad. I'll be there for 830ish and my flight is at 10am but it's better to be early. I was hoping to be there for 9am but this is fine. I'll read my book and pass the time. It's a shame I have no music to take along with me.

I think that's it for now. I'll update again soon.

Museums

Today I had my third summer school lecture and I really enjoyed it as Joe, the lecturer and tutor, did a presentation on public and private museums across Australia, most of which I haven't heard of. This is also the topic of our essay and I have chosen to talk about the Museum of Contemporary Art, which is in Sydney. I went there when I was in Sydney a few months ago and quite enjoyed it. So the MCA will represent the public museum focus in my essay and MONA is to be everyones focus with the private museums section. Today after the lecture I went and gathered as much information I could find on the internet so I'm off to a good start. Sara from work said she'll give my work a look when I have something to show her. She really helped me with my previous summer school unit [Magic, Spirituality and Religion].

I have work tonight. I'm glad I do because I don't have much after this week. After I'm done on the internet I'll go relax on my bed and watch some TV [Gilmore Girls at the moment but I might start a movie] until it's time to get ready. Tomorrow I'm at the Maritime from 10am. I'm half looking forward to it which means I'm half not looking forward to it. Way to point out the obvious, Anna! When I'm there I love getting stuck into the work. I'm just down playing it in my mind, which is one of my faults. It's like with exercise. I think it's worse than it is and put myself off doing it. I'm silly.

Changes

I have my work schedule for the next 3 weeks and I'm not completely happy with it. Next week is good as I have 4 definite shifts and I am going to Melbourne but the following weeks I only have 2 definites and a maybe.

Monday 13th Dec 6pm

Tuesday 14th Dec 630pm

Friday 17th Dec 630pm

Saturday 19th Dec ON CALL PM -- I wouldn't mind missing this one as I'm planning to go to Opossum Bay while James and George are there with friends. Only staying for the day would be okay but not having to rush back and stress about getting to work on time is something I don't need.

Sunday 19th Dec 930am

Tuesday 21st Dec ON CALL PM

Thursday 23rd Dec 11am

Friday 24th Dec 1230pm

Tuesday 28th Dec ON CALL PM

Thursday 30th Dec 11am

Sunday 2nd Jan 4pm

It's nice to have some time off so I can study for Uni and see my aunts Jan and Fra who are coming out on the 23rd of December but I need as much work as I can get so I can save! Hopefully I'll find a job to go to wherever I move so I won't have too much pressure regarding money but I would like to be busy now and earn money while I have the chance. Drat this Mrs Kim. I'll just write a note on the roster saying I'm available for work if anyone needs to give any shifts away. I didn't think when Alison and I were talking on the phone last week to say no when she said she was giving me time off. It just didn't click. She blind-sighted me with it so I couldn't think. Never mind. It'll all work out.

My sister doesn't like the design I have 99% chosen for my first tattoo --

I really like it. I think bar codes are a products' DNA in a way and to me, my surname and my heritage is the same. That will never change and it's so very important to me. Plus it looks cool. I'm going to book something for the new year. A Saturday when Emma can come and possibly in the afternoon so Holly can come too. I'm excited!

Monday I have another lecture and tutorial for Fronting MONA then work. Tuesday I am going in for most of the day to the Maritime to help with an upcoming exhibition then work. Wednesday I'm off to Melbourne. I wonder when I'm going to pack? I won't need to take much so it won't take long. Maybe Monday after Uni and before work as I don't know how long I'll be at the Maritime for on Tuesday. I'll get it done.

Speaking of Fronting MONA, I need to work on my first assignment [the application for a job there] before it's due on the 20th. The cover letter needs to have so many elements in it that I'm going to start writing in dot points all I need to include in it then go from there to round it out. I just don't know who it's going to so I can't add the right address in. I'll ask the tutor in class tomorrow.

After tonight I will have worked around 25 hours and that is good. I'll get about $400 and put most of it away. As long as I have a job to go to I'll be okay. I might only make $2000 before I head off. That will cover bond and a bed but not much else. Centrelink will help but having a job to go to would be best. A house will fall into place and it'll all work out nicely. It shall! I'll apply for the Body Shop and for gallery attendant jobs and just about anything that sounds good. Day work is a must. It'll happen.

Pop tarts

I'm going to buy pop tarts today then go to Emma's house for dinner and movies!

And once again I'm searching for the perfect font for my surname [not an easy task] for my first tattoo. Here are todays finds.

Superpoint

Yikes

Barcode Font

I want something that won't go out of style and something I won't get sick of or regret. I'm not sure how I'll find it but it must be out there somewhere. In that respect I guess it's like my perfect relationship. It'll appear eventually.

December is almost over, almost

I am so excited December is almost over. It's only the 9th but it has already gone by so fast and I am very grateful. Soon it will be January and I'll find out whether or not I'm accepted to the University of Sydney [and I can start ordering and getting someone to screen print for me one of those classic Uni tees that people wear. I want to get two of the grey Threadless tees from the American Apparel website and have one for the Uni of Sydney and one for the Uni of Tasmania. They each have a specific font so I'll have to get that somehow and replicate it onto the tees.] and I can finally start making plans. I can't wait to start organising everything I want to take with me.

Last night while thinking about it I had forgotten that I'll probably do a home stay until I find a house. I will be looking for a house and for a job before I leave, and that will make it easier as I was starting to panic thinking that I wouldn't be able to take a lot with me, just a carry-on bag, and I would have to make another trip back just for my stuff. I think that by organising to stay at someones house I'll save money and be able to take a big suitcase with me. I imagined myself sorting through all my stuff and deciding what to take with me. Packing that suitcase will at least take a week to organise. I'll probably head over mid to late January for orientation [I'd better get in because I'm counting on it] then come back, work a bit, and go over again. It's a bit annoying having to go over and back but I can scout out some possible houses while I'm there and maybe not have to do a house stay thing. I'd rather be sorted at the beginning of February so I have time to settle in before Uni starts.

I probably don't need all that time but I'd like to explore the city more too. I would like to know the city close to as well as I know Hobart but that's impossible. I grew up here and have a map in my head, and I love that but it will be hard to get that with Sydney. I'll try though. I won't be bored over there because I can just go out and explore. Exciting! I want to make a cubby, but I would have to find blankets and extra pillows. I'll have to buy them. No cubby straight away then. I'll have to watch my spendings. I will need to get a job as soon as I can but again I'll look before I go. Matt from thebeach went to a job when he moved to Melbourne. I can do that too! It'll all work out. I just have to make and save as much money now as I can and I'll be okay. I have plenty of time left, kinda sorta.

I really miss my mp3 player. It's kinda broken and unless I find the box it came in I can't do anything about it. Also my car radio doesn't work because the code is lost and it shouldn't be but there you go. I hate living a music-less life especially in my car or on walks with Katie because they are the times I would listen to music. At the moment I'm listening to VersaEmerge's album Fixed At Zero on YouTube and am loving it. I might have to invest in another player or CDs. I'd rather another player, or to get mine fixed, because I need to save my money. I'll have another scoop in my room. Now I'm thinking -- will I take my 18th birthday present, a CD player, with me? It has a sub woofer and everything. It definitely won't fit in my suitcase but it could be sent up. It would be nice to play music out loud and not just on my mp3 player if I ever get if fixed. Yorick got it for me for Christmas last year to the warranty might have already run out but I have to find it and see.

Today I'm going to get an Advent Calendar for Christmas. I wanted to get one weeks ago at Target but they had a sad range where I looked and nothing interested me. I'll find a good one today at Big W when I go to meet Sophie before work. Before then I have to walk Katie and have some lunch. I'll probably stay out unless we finish at Big W quickly. I work at 6 so I'll see how it goes.

I can and will do it

I'm sick of everyone telling me how hard it will be moving to Sydney and how much money I'll have to save first because I won't be able to get a job. Oh how I'll prove them wrong. I'm not too pissed off about it but it is annoying. I'm going to make it work! It will probably be hard but I'm looking forward to the challenge. I'll be able to find a job fine, maybe not straight away but there will be something out there. I'll get Centrelink and I'll survive. I'll spend as little money as possible and make it work that way if I have to. I can do this!

I just booked my accommodation for the backpackers in Melbourne. I'm glad that's sorted. I'll get paid the day I arrive in Melbourne too so that's comforting. I'll try not to spend to much money there either. Seeing some of the museums might cost a little bit as will getting around the city but I can manage not spending much. It's all for a good purpose.

Why don't people believe in me!? I'm going to do just fine. I can't wait to move and get a cute little house and, over time, set it up with cute things.

Possible jobs

+ Gallery or Museum Attendant

+ Air Hostess / Flight Attendant

+ Waitress [although I'd rather not]

+ Sales Assistant at a bookstore or clothing store

It won't be that hard to get a job. I can do it! I can!

Love in 2011

Lately I have been religiously checking my daily horoscope on my phone and last night after midnight I checked the one I got for today. I love it.

A new year is coming, Scorpio. And it comes with the chance to begin again. What will you write on your fresh slate? Hopefully you have learned a lesson or two about love, and about hanging on to a good relationship tight enough to show you care, but not so tight that you smother it. Even though we're only entering the second week of December, it's not too early to start composing your resolutions for 2011. Make your love life a priority for the coming year. It's your time to shine, and love should be at the top of your list of priorities.

Love and family, travel and my career are the three things on the top of my life list so this fits in perfectly. Whenever I think of next year I think of falling in love and finding that illusive soul-mate as well as starting the year with a fresh slate. After this year I need it. I am so excited. Panda [a work mate] and I were talking about relationships last night and I really miss being in one and having an ongoing dialogue with someone but at the same time it's good that I have this chance to rearrange my life and focus on what I want in it. I am glad I'm not with Yorick anymore and it's great because I didn't know I wasn't getting what I wanted. Thanks to starting the BSW, I now have the skills to thoroughly examine relationships or anything really even when I'm in it. I just have to look deep and figure out if I'm getting what I want.

I am amazed at how accurate this horoscope is concerning my desire for a fresh slate next year. I can't wait to go out on my own and make a life for myself. I want to have fresh berries in the fridge for breakfast and make banana bread again and eat healthily. I want to do Jillian Michaels' Making the Cut over 30 days and get my dream body. I want to find a great house for a great price not to far from Uni if possible [or in cycling distance] and study my butt off so I can get into my dream career. I want to meet the man I'm to marry and go on holidays with him and settle down. I want it all and next year is when I'm hoping it will happen.

I love imagining the house I'll have and over time getting furniture and filling the empty spaces. It will be great to have my own space and make it just how I want. I might have to get re-inspired by Carrie Bradshaw. I want to get vases and flowers and fish and I want to frame my posters and have a table by the front door for my bag and keys. I would love an outdoor table and 2 chair set and one of the wicker egg-shaped chairs. It'll be fantastic.

Badness

I have been totally sucking at work over the last month. I keep doing things wrong, forgetting things, and I think it's all because I have an approximate leaving date in mind and I'm getting slack. I'm dreading going to work this week although it's Joerg's last week and he's been the one there when I've been doing these things. My mind isn't working as well at work as it used to. I'm hating it.

I don't feel like doing anything today. I really need to take Katie for a walk, unless dad can do it later on, and then I have my Tuesday volunteering at the Maritime. Then after that I have work. I've been getting into bad sleeping habits again. I go to bed late and even though I get woken up early by the sun, I have adapted and can go back to sleep now for a few hours and the light doesn't bother me. No! I loved getting into good habits. I'm sad I'm not anymore.

I can't wait for next year. I really want to get into the Uni of Sydney because moving there anyway would be better if I had that Uni to go to instead of doing Deakin via distance. I hope I get a second round offer. Damn not making it into the first round. I'm in a crappy mood.

Uni, Uni, Uni

I really liked going back to Uni today, as I did last Monday. I love looking forward to this. Today, as boring as it might sound, we discussed writing an application for a position at MONA. The position is for a Gallery Attendant and we are to submit an application as our first assignment and then I believe it will also be sent off to MONA. Some of us will get jobs but I don't think I'm right for it. Plus I'm leaving the state so that won't help. Bad timing. I might have to do this sort of work on the way to being a curator so it can't hurt finding out about the job.

I had a brainwave today. If I don't get accepted to the University of Sydney, that doesn't mean I can't move there. I can still do the diploma via distance at Deakin and move to Sydney! I think that's a great idea! Mum might think it's a bit weird but I'd rather live in Sydney because I find it beautiful and that's where I'd like to do the masters and end up. I am still hoping I get accepted to the Uni in Sydney because the course and the campus are far superior to that of Melbourne but it's not up to me. I'll plan to move there no matter what. That makes me happy. Sydney is fantastic.

Nirrimi and inspiration

I have just stumbled upon another new blog that I absolutely adore. It is by the stunning Nirrimi. I found her last night and today I went back to the beginning of her blog when I found this. It's something that I need to do --

It's curious how good it feels when you take risks and live. Shoot through the cold wet and count the hail by the red marks on your back. You need to break the pattern to feel truly alive. Yell in the street or go somewhere very unfamiliar. Hug a stranger. Be spontaneous. This is your only life, don't waste your youth or your days.

She lives. Truly lives. I don't. I am wasting my time and think that next year when I'm in a new state and going to Uni that I'll do these kinds of things. What about the now? Do I think that doesn't count? Apparently I don't. I am not hugely creative or good at improvising. I have to think of these great things then set out to do them. I don't go out and do things otherwise because they're not on my radar. I don't just go out and see what happens. I'm a bit blind. Here are more inspiring words --

I've learnt that to make dreams come true, you have to be obsessed. truly, utterly obsessed. I think of obsession as passion squared, and if you have passion for something people will see that. If you go through an entire day without doing something towards your dream, you're not obsessed enough to make it happen. Sure, some people get lucky, but we're not going to wait around to see if that's us. We need to make things happen for ourselves, because we are the only ones in control of our lives. With enough obsession and work any dream can come true for you. You will be disappointed, sleepless and somedays you will want to give up, but you will be happy, because you are living

Maybe I need to be more obsessed. I do think about next year all the time, every day, and I think about how great life will be once it happens. Wherever I end up, I'll make it great. I might be obsessed enough but there is always room for more. I could ring up and talk to someone and pester them into giving me an offer. Then again that would probably backfire and I already know what they will say, almost.

One thing I have decided on is to give myself a cut-off date for my New Zealand and Vanuatu Travel Books. It's time, and they have to be done before I move or they'll never get done. Enough of being lazy and thinking I'll get to them. If I keep going along this train of thought they'll never get done! And they must. I can shorten the word requirements to just the activities and places we went to and keep the diary for my own personal use. I can even have a separate blog about it and put the pictures in. That'll be nice. It's about time I kicked myself into gear. Talking to Micaela about it when we caught up a few weeks ago got me thinking about it more. That'll give me something to do.

Sometimes I wish I were free, that I hadn't been molded by society into someone who follows the rules. I wish I had the guts to be like Nirrimi.

Much of society seems to think there is a 'right' way to live life. A formula. Finish school, go to university, climb the career ladder, get married, settle, buy a house, have children, have granddchildren, retire, die. It's strange that something so outdated is so widely spread. I was told I would never become a photographer if I didn't finish school. People my own age sometimes ask, why are you acting like an adult when you're so young? Shouldn't you be out partying and actually being a teenager? Because there is a right way to be the age you are! Well I guess I am a rebel by not being rebellious then. Isn't it all ridiculous? Sometimes I think about this and ache to be brave and push aside my fear. And so I'm going to be loud about what I'm passionate about, even if I'm not supported.

I want cute clothes like this. Nice Summer dresses and cute boots. I might have to get the ones I found on the internet but I need to stop spending so much money!

From here.

Sydney will be fantastic. I'll chuck out most of my wardrobe and start again [although I have started getting new great pieces], and I will start again with my underwear drawer. I read in someone's post about how you should treat yourself by spending $25 on underwear and that sometimes they wish they could chuck all their underwear out and start again. I like that idea. I think I'll adopt it. Clothes make me feel great, special, new. I want that feeling for Sydney, if that's where I end up.

Never give up on all your loves and dreams, let them out to be loud!

I love the way Nirrimi talks about children.

Most people may want to live first and then have children, but for me, having children will be living.

I can't wait to have children of my own but first I have to find my one true love. There are so many things I want to do in life, and the majority of them involve travel. Children can come too after all. Because of society, my mind has already become accustomed to imagining children having to go to school and being settled. I want to be wild with them and I want them to travel with me. A lot can happen before they turn 5 and need to go to school. It is required after all.

I take a mental photograph like I often do and I close my eyes tightly while it develops.

I think I have spent enough time on the internet. I have loved spending the last few hours with Nirrimi.