Sadness

Peyton said "I miss what I thought we would be" about Lucas. I think that fits very well with me.

I have had on and off tears today. I'm feeling a little depressed, not sure what to do anymore. I have homework to do but can't bring myself to do it. I'm wasting time here. I need to get something done. I'll go and try.

My internet isn't working here and Yorick will be taking his laptop with him, which is what I'm using right now. I'm going to ask him if I can keep the set top box and TV until tomorrow so I can watch something tonight before James' gig. He has invited me to go down to his place with Georgie for some pizza with them and Joe and Megan. I'll see how I go this afternoon.

There is a sadness in me that is waiting to take over and I think it'll give it a good try next week once things are normalised and there is no more Mt Nelson. I'm sad now about it. I can't quit pin point why I'm sad. I think it's everything really, him not being the same, what we were and are no longer, the possibility of not being a part of each others life anymore. A combination. I'll be alright.