Wednesday, 5 May 2010

Where did we go?

In a way it's already over. We've never done this kind of move before, moving into separate houses. When we first begun talking about this and were okay, we acted like a couple with less hugging and kissing than usual but now it's different. Not it seems like we've already broken up and I can't see him wanting to keep us going once we have our new living arrangements. I read this kind of journal he wrote in our first year and he wrote how he loved the way I made him feel and that ours was the best sex he had. I started to cry when I read that. I don't like the way we are. We're not talking about anything other than the house or minor things and it's him that's keeping us like this. He's been pulling away for days now, maybe even a week. I don't like it. I just want us to be happy and in love like we used to be. I'm not sure what's what anymore. I don't think he wants me anymore. I keep thinking of the amazing times we had in New Zealand and Vanuatu and I just want that us back. I don't know if we'll ever get back there though. Once we're moved out I need to ask him if he's ever cheated on me. Sara at work suggested something big might have happened to spark this realisation of his and that might be it. That might be why he's keeping his distance although I truly have no idea why he's doing what he's doing. I don't know what's happening anymore and I suspect I'll be single sometime in the next 2 weeks. Joy.

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