He sent me another message:
"Righto put the guilt trip on. I've worked 22 days straight and am physically and emotionally exhausted. I'll be up there in the next hour or so then."
I replied with this:
"Do what you want. I won't be here when you get here. I hoped we could salvage a friendship out of our relationship by cleaning the house together. I'll see you round."
Then tacked on this:
"I'm not trying to be mean..."
If he came up now I'd only be mad at him for not coming as planned in the first place. It's not worth it. If he had come as planned then I was going to talk to him about continuing our relationship in the form of a friendship but now he has to earn it. I was trying to get him to understand how crap he's been treating me in my first reply to him and I suppose it was a guilt trip. I just want to hurt him back. I'm mad at him for the way he treats me even now. It's total crap and somewhere deep down under the denial he knows that. When I meet the right guy I will know immediately if he's the right guy just by the way he treats me. I'm aiming higher next time.
Because I care for him more than he cares for me, and because I treat him better than he treats me, I still want to join him here tomorrow, even though I can't, simply because I'm better than he is. On the other side, I'm still mad at him for the way he's treating me and see him cleaning the whole house by himself as what he deserves. I'm too nice to take that second track to the extreme. I'm also sad now because he's not coming. I guess this end is appropriate and more realistic than the one I wanted and expected.
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